Dany 🐻 @danythebear25 - Tumblr Blog

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

phineas-and-ferb-heritage-posts

phineas and ferb heritage post

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roadtophantom

vamplire

i love you gothic literature. i love you doomed romance. i love you ghosts and decay. i love you vampires and blood. i love you manors and crypts. i love you cemeteries and haunts. i love you unsettling themes. i love you cynicism of the human experience. i love you monsters unaware of their horrors until confronted with them.

dailycatsblog

prokopetz

I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.

Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.

It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.

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miiilowo

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead

dearlizzies

“he’s so babygirl” babe he’s covered in blood.

yourmum8609

girls will look at a man and say “he’s just misunderstood” as he murders people

mawofthemagnetar

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

gkdeamon

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troutreznor

a day used to be 24hrs and cost $5 but nowadays a day only lasts 5hrs and they charge ya $20 just to live it. and you have to pay with an app

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

xenogears

Shout out to the (many) times I got called an elitist gatekeeper for saying that the only real way to fully understand a work of fiction is to experience it firsthand and that summaries and reviews are not a replacement for that

the-lincyclopedia

Me, reading the first 80% of the post: What do you mean, "experience it firsthand"? How am I supposed to join the Hunger Games or go on the Odyssey?

Me, reading the final clause of the post: Oh, you literally meant that people have to read the book/listen to the audiobook in order to fully understand it. And people got mad. Oh dear.

marisatomay

To quote what a friend of mine said after she watched Jerry Maguire (1996) for the first time, having thought she knew what it was about because of its cultural ubiquity: “you miss a lot of a movie when you don’t watch it”

prismatic-bell

Also summaries can be misleading.

Here. Don't look this up. Don't put it in the comments if you know. Read this and tell me what movie it describes:

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.

Got a guess?

You're locked in?

You're sure?

You don't want a genre hint?

Okay. You're probably gonna feel really silly in a minute, just as a word of warning.

This is a real summary written by Rick Polito.

It was used by Turner Classic Movies in 1998 and was printed in TVGuide. If you're too young to know what that means, it was a staple in most households--if TVGuide said it, you could be pretty sure it was accurate.

Did you guess The Wizard of Oz?

Yeah, I told you it was misleading. Technically it's true, but it misses everything the movie is about.

And if that doesn't explain it for you, I'm not sure anything will.

the-haiku-bot

And if that doesn’t

explain it for you, I’m not

sure anything will.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

omghotmemes

No, no it isn’t.

moonlit-aura

this gif is perfectly timed because it gives you enough time to read it, comprehend it, and still have this too-long-for-comfort moment of suspense before being punched square in the solar plexus

collectivemusings

A scene from a Star Wars movie plays out, but with different captions.

The captions say, in order:

“I made this into a GIF”

“It’s the Rickroll right?

There are no captions in the third image.

“It’s the Rickroll, right?”

There is a pause, and then the image changes to show a scene from Monty Python and it is captioned

“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”

the-haiku-bot

A scene from a Star

Wars movie plays out, but with

different captions.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

shittyidea

A super long audio book with just silence and an “oh, out loud?” at the end

what-even-is-thiss

Why should all citizens get a certain amount of free food from the government to supplement what they can buy on their own? That’s the sort of stupid commie thing they do in *checks notes* the ancient Roman republic.

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what-even-is-thiss

Health classes really ought to teach people what the beginning stages of addiction are like because a lot of people don’t realize they’re addicted to something until they’re years deep into it.

pois0n-petals

fall out boy lyrics are just so good they make me jealous i didn’t write them

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