UGH

soulja boy tell em. im too shy

why does this feel like the parent trap and dan and phil are the kids forcing their broken up parents together

phil’s 32 and he can’t cook pasta, i’m…………..

he’s 32 and he can’t cook pasta and he taught dan to cook pasta so……………..

neither of them can cook pasta also both of them are stumped by can openers. rest in fucking peace.

THE INSTRUCTIONS ARE ON THE BOX. They’re literally on. the. box. I’m jus- I’m just stressed.

i think the mistake we may have made is assuming that phil would stop to read the instructions, instead of chucking the box out immediately and setting a timer based on a random number generator app

i really hope dan’s secret project is a poetry book so that i can make fun of him online for being pretentious but then i can cry over a physical copy of it while i lie in bed at night

Anxiety is like if the 20 seconds spent waiting to hear if it’s Under Pressure or Ice Ice Baby lasted forever