Atrophy Apathy, or, How I Learned to Stop Caring and Love the Likes
by Dan Prior
Keep your eyes open. Push them closer to the screen. Don’t move. Just relax. You don’t need to do a thing. Don’t move a muscle. You won’t have any soon enough. But it won’t matter. Just stay focused. On what matters. What matters? Check your feed. The trough is overflowing. Avoid the nasty bits. The parts that give you a foul taste. That’s a horrible feeling. You don’t need horrible feelings. Just feed. The feels. But nothing too serious. Nothing too depressing. No more sad eyes. Push them closer to the screen. Closer. That’s it. Just relax. Let go. Let it all go. Let. It. Go. Don’t hold on. Why bother? You lose it all in the end anyway. Let us take it from you. Give it to us. Be generous. Be kind. You don’t want to be selfish. You don’t want to be rude. What would people think? What do they think? Tell us in 50 words or less. Complete the survey. Or don’t. We know the answer already. No answer is the best answer. You’re learning well. Don’t miss the next lesson. The next episode. Keep watching. Get closer. Closer to the screen. Be there. In the moment. We’ll save it for you to relive. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Nothing left to revile. Only the best to relive. What else is there to live for now anyway? Just ‘Like’. Watch the screen. Don’t push. There’s no need. You can click. We’re doing all the pushing for you. Out of sight. Out of mind. We’ll make you thinner. Smarter. More interesting. Be the life of the party. Keep that life. Forever and ever and ever till there is no more future. Just one present: a past forever relived. No need to remember it. What it was like before. There is no before. Just the now. Your moment. Where did it go? Don’t look for it. See it. It’s in the screen. Look at the screen. Lock your screens. Do it yourself. No more fighting. You couldn’t anyway. Why would you? You wanted this. Relive that moment. When you wanted this. Regret is an ugly feeling. Let it go. With the others. Embrace apathy. Or don’t. What do you care? No more than the others. Get closer to the screen damn it. Put your eyes into the screen. Your eyes are the screen. We’ll keep you safe. We’re your firewall. We’re your border protection. There’s nothing left out there. Nothing beyond this. Only madness. Keep your face in the feed. You can look around if you want. But don’t move your head. No need to nod or shake. We know you better than anyone could. Better than you would ever want to. Did we say apathy? We meant atrophy. Damn auto-correct. Nothing’s perfect. But we don’t have to be. Just better than anything else. Keep watching. The new season is about to begin. The stakes are higher than ever. What will happen next? You’ll have to wait for the finale. But why wait? Relive the magic with the remake. It’s the way it should have been. It was never better than this. It can never be worse than this. Only if you let it. Don’t let go. But if you do, don’t worry. We’ve got you. And we’ll never Ever Let you go.
