Random shareable

I’ve said it before: I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. Thanks to Chris Brogan and others, years ago I decided to use a three-word theme for my year. Others chose a single word for their year. I like three words because it adds variety. Also, whenever I feel like I’m starting to drift, having my three words also very much helps me get back to my intention for the year, like a three-point compass.

It’s interesting. What often happens throughout the year is that the words take on different meanings than I originally thought they would in January. This is normal and part of growth.

Nevertheless, as each year comes to a close, I’ve prayed for the next year’s words to come. Some arrive quickly and strong. Others sometimes arrive a the last minute. That was the case this year anyway.

Before I share the words for this year, I need to review how last year went.

THREE WORDS FOR 2022

As I shared last year, my three words for 2022 intimidated me. My three words were Hospitable, Celebrate, and Together. So outward-focused!

Celebrate

The easiest - and most fun - was Celebrate. Our human nature is drawn toward cynicism. There’s a good reason why we have holidays and other special days; otherwise, we might not be excited about anything. So... it felt weird - and fun. I began celebrating every little thing I saw, every small victory. I’d get fired up with Facebook friends won that day’s Wordle challenge. I celebrated every new day, every time I got back up after falling down (literally and metaphorically).

Together

Together also was easy to work on. I felt drawn toward it as a carryover from all the isolation felt during the pandemic shutdowns. Whenever the choice was to participate virtually or in-person, if at all possible, I’d get together in-person. Any gathering, really, was an occasion to... celebrate. :)

Hospitable

The first word that had come to me was the one I knew would be the hardest. I thought of Hospitable to mean having people over to our home. While that’s true, what I came to understand is that it means to be a “neighbor” in general and to look for opportunities to serve and care for others. Some examples that come to mind:

A family in our apartment building has English not as their primary language. They’ve had issues in their apartment where they’ve needed the maintenance team to handle. They asked me to step in on their behalf to help escalate the situation. In addition, I and my family are working to understand some of their language so we can communicate better.

We had a complex-wide power outage last Summer that left us all in the dark. We took advantage of opportunities to make sure our neighbors had flashlights, candles, etc. We also exchanged names and phone numbers.

During the severe storm that came through over Christmas, another neighbor needed help because her car got stranded. We drove over to where she was and gave her a jump so she could get on her way.

My wife’s coworker needed her new battery installed but didn’t have the tools. We drove to her home and spent several hours helping her get that situation handled.

Hospitable, Celebrate, Together. What a year 2022 was!

THREE WORDS FOR 2023

As I shared earlier, my three words for this year didn’t come all at once. In fact, the third one came on the last day of the year. These three words call my higher and intimidate me. As they should.

My three words for 2023: Shed, Save, and Share.

What at first strikes me is how counterintuitive they seem. Shed - to get rid of - and Save - to amass? Where does Share fit into this?

Shed

Since a hospital stay in December 2019, I have gained nearly forty pounds. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’ve allowed myself to get out of control in this area, and I’m going to work to shed a lot of this weight. To reach my goal weight, I’ll have to shed about 64 pounds.

In addition, I’ve let other things accumulate that I need to discard. I keep on thinking about how easy it would be to pick up and move if we needed to, and, right now, it’s not that easy. So I’m going to seriously look at what I’m holding onto and discard what’s no longer working for me.

This practice applies not just to physical things but also to habits, mindsets, and other patterns that are no longer working for me.

Save

This word is mainly about bringing my personal finances under control so that I may have more of it left over for fun things like travel, as well as for emergencies that will arise.

Share

This last word was the hardest to feel out. I was almost going to continue with Celebrate for another year because of the experience. I felt, however, that I needed a unique spin. As of this writing, I’m looking for my next work opportunity where I can share my talents, skills, and experience. I also am looking for volunteer opportunities where I can share and build on the same.

Moreover, I plan to continue looking for opportunities to share of myself among my neighbors and others.

I don't do resolutions.

For several years now, I've been doing three-word themes instead of New Year's Resolutions. I've found it's helpful when life begins to ebb or feel a bit dry to reconnect on one of those words. As each year winds down, I begin to consider the words for the next year.

THREE WORDS FOR 2021

For 2021, I approached my three words with intentional zeal and passion. My three words were Mold, Deeper, and Strengthen. What made last year different than previous years?

First, I made time at the beginning of the year to really think hard on each of the words.

* MOLD: being molded and shaped, breaking molds no longer useful, and filling molds where there is a need, like liquid.

* DEEPER: deeper relationships - with God, my family, with friends, and others; intentionally going after them.

* STRENGTHEN: becoming stronger all-around - physically, mentally, and spiritually.

The second thing that made the difference is that I kept those three words in front of me every day. Every day in my journal I'd see these three words, even when I finished one, I'd add them to the next one. Goals pages, weekly planner layouts, monthly layouts.

Thirdly, I transformed the words into actionable goals and tasks. I had monthly goals to write letters, thank you cards, and birthday cards. I had monthly goals to go on dates. For a time, I even had weekly goals to call specific friends and family members. I planned events. I read the Bible twice. I read the Gospels six times. I set alarms to make time to pray and meditate. I exercised more.

Mold, Deeper, and Strengthen. It was a phenomenal 2021.

THREE WORDS FOR 2022

My three words for 2022 intimidate me. Much like the words for 2021 did. I immediately feel called higher for this year.

The three words for 2022: Hospitable, Celebrate, and Together.

What strikes me immediately is how outward-focused these are. What inspires me is that this year I'm working on something that isn't just for me. This year I'm going to be more hospitable. This year I'm going to celebrate, and it's gonna feel really weird (for myself and those around me). This year I'm going to do more together with others.

DISCLAIMER

Success means different things to different people. I tend to be very much achievement-oriented, and in this post I will list a number of those achievements. But I also want to point out HOW I've been able to make them possible.

I apologize in advance if any of this comes across as bragging. That's not my intention. My biggest competition is myself, and I am striving to become the best version of myself I can be.

In this post I will share some systems I have set up to help me. They are not necessarily meant to be prescriptive; you have to figure out what works for you.

I'm documenting this here because a few of you have found me sharing this sort of thing to be helpful and inspiring, and I definitely enjoy being helpful and inspiring! 🙂

Let's begin.

I DON'T DO NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

I don't do New Year's Resolutions. Instead, I have a three-word theme to my year. The words for 2021 are MOLD, DEEPER, and STRENGTHEN.

Bullet Journaling, a concept invented by Ryder Carroll, has empowered me. One practice I've especially built in is regular reviews with myself. Having completed the first half of 2021, I recently did a Semiannual Review by going back through all the journals I've used.

In typical review fashion, I set up sections for What Worked and What Didn't. I also set up a section for What to Improve, as well as a section for Improvements.

See where the pen in this photo is? I originally had the heading for What Didn't there. But, as I continued reviewing, I needed to add more in What Worked. SO MUCH more that I had to use some Wite-Out correction tape (my friend) and move the What Didn't section down further!

So how has this helped me grow into my three-word theme so far?

MOLD

I'm praying to be molded more by God, to break molds (patterns) that no longer work for me, and to fill new molds like liquid wherever I'm needed.

Bullet journaling helps me with daily habit tracking as I'm spending time with Scripture and in prayer. Daily reflection is also a habit, and I've been doing weekly and monthly reviews to identify and break old patterns and set goals to build new ones.

DEEPER

I recognized that 2020 had constrained my relationships and set out in 2021 to go deeper, both in my relationship with God and my other relationships.

Bullet journaling helps me with this through daily habit tracking through the three Bible study plans I'm following this year. I also am keeping track of praying at least seven times (alarms on my phone a different times throughout the day also help me).

I've got weekly goals to touch base with family members. I've been working to send 52 thank you cards this year (average of one per week). I've got important dates like birthdays and wedding anniversaries I'm tracking so I can send greeting cards.

As an extroverted person, the isolation of the last year messed with my mental health. I’ve been determined that, regardless of constraints, I will work to maintain deeper relationships this year. I recognize that others may not reach out to me -- I cannot expect that. If I want deeper relationships, I will go after that. So I’m using my journal to track that I’m touching base with my family members via phone/text/in-person each week. Also, every month, I’m writing a letter to my brother who lives in Texas.

STRENGTHEN

This word was the last one that came to me at the end of 2020. Throughout the year, my heart function greatly improved. Whereas in December 2019 my heart function was only 20% of what it should normally be, by October it had returned to normal.

But, my cardiologist cautioned in January, that doesn’t mean that the congestive heart failure symptoms are completely gone, or that I shouldn’t remain vigilant.

This became especially apparent in March when I had to call the cardiac nurse on-call to talk about some shortness of breath I’d begun feeling. 

After going over my medicines, she said: “I have to ask. Have you been watching your sodium and fluid intake?” 

Of course I said, “Not really.”

“OK. This is is me, kicking your butt, to get you back to it!” she said.

So, when I think of STRENGTHEN, primarily it’s physically, especially related to my heart. But there also is the physical aspect of regular cardio exercise.

I’ve been using my journal to track my exercise (or showing me the lack of it), to feed my spirit, and to feed my mind.

A big part of all this has meant that I’m not watching as much TV. I’m tracking how many pages of books I’m reading, and I was so fired up to see that I read 8 books in June alone!

Another thing I realized during my semiannual review is just how hard it is for me to sit and do nothing at all. In fact, the only way I’m able to do it is to make it a task or goal so I can earn that task completion. It sounds funny, but, by keeping it among the other things I have going on, I’m reminding myself to make time to just do nothing for 30 minutes. I hope to see this practice as much a worthwhile endeavor as completing any other task.

Feeding and strengthening my spirit also involves priming for each day. I will work to motivate myself - often with music, In fact, I created a Spotify playlist (tap or click to listen): MOLD-DEEPER-STRENGTHEN 2021 to help with that. :)

WHAT DIDN’T WORK

I realized that, while many, many things DID work so far this year, here are some things that didn’t:

Excuses for not exercising

Emotional eating and living

Spreading myself too thin with too many goals to achieve at once

Being out of touch with goals in general (on my master list)

Periodic lack of focus throughout the day

Time-wasting activities (online games, etc.)

Reluctance to cook meals for my family

IMPROVEMENTS

Going forward, I want to track more finitely what is contributing to my energy level and overall health. So for July, I’ve set up a couple new trackers to track my energy level and sleep, as well as a food/drink/medicine log. I hope that, with the information here, that I’ll be able to “hack” my lifestyle better to strengthen myself.

I’ve also set a weekly goal to make meals and to meditate/schedule time to do nothing.

I’m including among my daily habit tracker an item to review the goals I have written down.

I’ve found so much help from having a daily gratitude journal. I like to identify three things I’m grateful for each day. Also, being achievement-oriented, I’ve got a Big Wins journal where I capture the “big win” for the day.

CELEBRATE EVERY VICTORY

I shared with someone many months ago about how easy it is for me to encourage others. They gave me the advice that I should do that with myself. So, as lofty as these goals have been, and while it’s so easy to see what I still need to do, it’s just as important for me to celebrate every victory, no matter how big or small.

Because, when all is said and done, I’m still getting better, and that’s what matters.

IF YOU’VE READ THIS FAR...

Thank you, my friend. As I said at the beginning, it’s not meant to be prescriptive for anyone; it’s just how I’m trying to figure this out for me. By all means adapt what you see for yourself it you want.

I hope you go outside today, take a deep breath, and, as you exhale, appreciate that ability and this moment. Today matters.

Make it a great day!

#makeitagreatday #cincwx #cincygram #cincyparks

Good morning from beautiful Cincinnati!

TELL ME THE STORY

Tell me the story About where we were Those many months ago

When life seemed easier Before it took its turn And much began to slow

And looking back to now Considering Has it all really been so bad?

Challenging, yes Unexpected, for sure Yet many times to make us glad

So tell me the story About how we're now Much different than from then

How much we've changed How much we've grown How much to live in again

- an impromptu bit from @danieljohnsonjr

Dear Future Me,

Two Lives

Hey buddy. So you’ve spend some time today, considering how your life would end up, going forward as of today. You saw two paths before you: a well-worn path and one that was less traveled. You considered the outcome of both choices. Quite a difference, huh?

The Well-Worn Path

I really don’t like the outcome of the well-worn path. You became lazy, bitter, and unloving to all around you. You gave up and were so self-centered. You stopped having an impact, and, like you, others just endured having you around. I’m saddened that you stopped caring.

The Path Less Traveled

My friend, I love you, and I know that’s not the path you chose. The path less traveled, the one you *actually* chose, inspires others. You refused to settle for anything except living wholeheartedly. You stepped out and took healthy risks, you stopped wasting time. You turned so many weaknesses into strengths.

You wrote that novel, you learned Spanish, you opened your life to the input of others. You worked at a job that made the best use of your strengths, talents, skills, and abilities. You earned a lot of money doing it, too. You took care of your home, and you took care of a lot of other people, too.

Think of all the people whose lives will never be the same because of your life, your leadership, your time as a speaker, as a friend, as a husband, a father, a brother, and more.

You led others to God, man.

You made Jesus Christ LORD every day.

And that made all the difference.

Love,

You

A Disruptive Year

No one would have guessed 2020 would be what it’s been when we got started in January. It’s hard to imagine a time before social distancing and mask-wearing and so much remote-ness. As I type this, there have been more than 200,000 people in the United States who have died from COVID-19.

For me, it started in November 2019. 

I was sick most of the month with an acute sinus infection that had me home from work and away from family for Thanksgiving.

In early December, I wound up going to the ER because of shortness of breath and was eventually diagnosed with congestive heart failure symptoms (CHF).

In January, the place where I worked for over 5 years eliminated my position, which left me unemployed.

In February, my mother-in-law died.

In March, I began a career as an independent life insurance agent just as the country was shutting down because of COVID-19. By the end of August, I moved on from that career.

In April, I had my 50th birthday. Virtually over Zoom. And socially distant.

And so on.

A Long Walk with God

On July 8, 2020, I made time to take a long walk with God. I’ve been doing this annually around this time of year for quite some time. It’s near the midpoint of the year, and it’s a great opportunity to reflect on where things have been and consider where to go for the second half of the year.

Remembering Names and Dates

I stopped in Greenhills, a village in the western Cincinnati, Ohio area. There is a park in the center of the village with a gazebo. As I prayed in the summer heat and humidity, I noticed a lot of bricks and benches with people’s names on them. “In memory of John Smith”, etc.  I could hardly walk anywhere in the park without seeing something that was placed there in memory of someone.

(see “DAB Long Walk 2020 - Part 1″ below)

I also noticed their Shadows of Freedom monument, which is set up as a sundial. At 12 Noon on specific dates, the shadow would point to a particular date in history. For example, at 12 Noon on March 1st, the shadow would cast on a circular disk in the ground to mark the anniversary of when Ohio became a state. Other spots commemorated included November 11th (Armistice Day) as well as some dates in Greenhills history.

(see “DAB Long Walk 2020 - Part 2″ below)

This year I’ve been following the Daily Audio Bible, and, at this point of the year, we were going through the genealogies in 1st Chronicles. Listening to a list of names can be tedious and even cause me to tune out. But I was encouraged to consider this:

Each name in this list was a life that mattered. Each name is one that was worth remembering.

It wasn’t a coincidence that I was standing in a park with other, more recent names that were worth remembering.

Three Words and Memories

It got me thinking back to the beginning of 2020, when I set out with my Three Words for the year: Discipline, Transcend, and Rhythm.

In April I began bullet journaling to better track what was happening day by day. It’s become a discipline I’ve found so helpful, and I love building that rhythm into my life. It’s helping me transcend, to see beyond the petty things that might irritate or distract me so that I can redirect my energy with intention.

Direction for the Rest of 2020

Reflection helps identify what nourishes you so you can make better decisions as you seed the next season of your life.

If you don’t do, if you don’t dare, then you rob the world - and yourself - of the chance to contribute something meaningful.

These two quotes come from The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll. I have them transcribed at the front of my current bullet journal.

The result of my Long Walk? 

Yes, it’s important to remember the names and places of people who are gone. I continue that.

But, for the rest of the year, I want to make memories, too, with those who are still alive:

Dates with my wife

Dates with my daughter

Spending time with other family in town

Phone calls and letters as needed