"See you in hell, Cupcake."

a witch curses jaskier and geralt to be tied together so that they can’t be further away from each other than 20 feat but jokes on her they already spend 99% of their time together and it’s been like a year and a half since they’ve been more than 10 feet away from each other. they stopped spending winters apart 4 years ago.

you know what? yes, this is EXACTLY what i’m saying

Geralt is on a monster hunt and gets to the 20 foot edge, Jaskier gets pulled out of the tree he’s been hiding it to watch and just assumes he lost his hold and footing. He ends up with more injuries from falling than Geralt does from fighting the monster, causing Geralt to fret over him faor the days it takes the bruises and scraps to heal.

this is perfect

And when they run into Yennefer again she’s like “you want me to undo that curse?”

paradoxically, it doesn’t get them together at all. they spend like 4 years like that and they still are too afraid of saying the truth, so the witch finds another way

“unfortunately”

what if everyone is already so done with those two idiots that when they finally get together, people don’t realize. they think jaskier and geralt are back on their bullshit.

Or even better that they know that everyone thinks they’re still pinning and them, being the little shits they are, don’t correct anyone but they put extra emphasis on their affections and they both keep a running bet on how long until people start noticing.

That is until like 30 years later, Eskel figures it out and Geralt just about starts crying in relief and Jaskier is like

it was absolutely none of that. eskel just happened to be looking when geralt squeezed jaskier’s shoulder with a soft look on his face and cocker his head to the side and well, he knows his brother and he knows that wasn’t just friendly

When I worked in fast food I would constantly have dreams about it, filling orders, prepping food, counting sauce packets, always running out of time and managers yelling at me. I would hear the beeping and dinging when I was at home, actually legit hear it. Whenever anything else would beep I would immediately put my hand to my ear as if to turn my headset on. I would go to other fast food places and have to resist the urge to clean and welcome people. That shit stays with you.