Damsel’s Gumball Machine

Love it when you put butter into a pan that's still warming and the butter starts slidin around like where you goin girl

love is stored in the Bonk

reblog to Bonk the person you reblogged from

im on a quest to order specifically dirt jelly beans. so far my emails have not been returned

I’ve emailed and submitted something on their website and waited… so far nothing. I’m looking into it for a friend who bit into the dirt jelly bean and said, “it tastes wholesome” and spent a good 20 minutes trying to find more of them

I’m thinking about Secret Santa with the Hargreeves where one of the siblings gets Dolores and goes to Five to get an idea of what to get for her… and the other siblings just hear Five and gather around to here him lovingly talk about how Delores likes shirts with sequins, and what her favorite colors are, and what kind of knit she preferred in sweaters…

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

…Have you eaten pine needles?

We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don’t Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

…I’ll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

god fucking dammit gimme a minute