Damn Funniest Jokes

"M.I.L.F" - The term that is now commonly used to refer to 16 year olds.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

Are the Pringles and Monopoly guy related?!?

Boob is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view and the b looks like a side view.

roses are red... violets are red... tulips are red... bushes are red... trees are red... oh god my gardens on fire.

Don't try this at home! I'll try it at my friend's house.

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

Texting bitches at 11:12, making their wishes come true

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, but any issues were swiftly resolved and I continued to live happily in West Philadelphia.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!

If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be

Twitter: the only place where you get excited when stranger follows you.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a watermelon.

A man walks into a bar...Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch, and wake up on the couch...

If life gives you melons, you are dyslexic.

Newtons third law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction.