cover your crystal eyes.

“–um..”

“Um is right, honestly.”

“They’re not even… how could you… eww”

“I just. I feel like I’m going to go through a very serious recluse time in my house. I gave up on the world.”

“I… I don’t usually swear, but what the fuck?”

“I don’t know, I think my brain melted the minute I heard that.”

“That’s sick, not in a good way”.

“I know. I didn’t even find it funny. I can’t understan how we got here.”

“Would duct tape help fix the crack that’s on my right lens, Andrew?”

“Eh, well, yes. If you don’t mind your field of vision being reduced.”

“Hello there, my good woman. We’ll drink anything you want, my treat. I know, I know. I just don’t clean up nice daily because the world couldn’t function with all this beauty.”

“You do realize how that question sounds, right? If I were you, I’d knock on Matthew McConaughey’s door, see if he gets you a job in the next Magic Mike.”

“May I introduce you to the wonder that is duct tape, Maximilian?”

“Can anyone tell me why there are naked girls running out of my apartment?”

“I don’t know. So far I thought I was hallucinating this.”

It’s cool because it’s you, you dingus. But I do like it. I’m sorry, does it involve your dad? Do you wanna talk about it? We can sit here and talk all night long.

Aw, you’ll make me blush, Jo. It does, well, partly. My mom’s organized a will.

The coolest thing ever is that although the force that holds all the planets at a distance is one of the strongest forces in the world and it’s never seen. I mean, that’s incredible. Our world relies on something invisible.

Did you just scientifically proved the existence of the force? Master Yoda would be thrilled.

“So — you’re gonna act like you didn’t see anything, okay? I promise you, I’m completely sober.”

“Didn’t see what?”

Don’t you ever try not to be weird, it’s who you are. How was your trip?

It’s only cool because you like it. Oh, it was okay. I had to sort out a few things, you know. Not cool things, but like, realistic things.

“All I’m picturing right now is animated skeletons grinding on each other while wearing Hogwart’s house scarf’s and I’m wondering how on earth that’s supposed to turn someone on.”

“I am completely supportive of empirical tests and all, but in that case, I don’t even wanna know how. I think I’m scarred enough by now.”

“Boots, actually. It was actually pretty hot. I came.”

“For a moment there I was in shock. That is so fucking wrong. Was it live-action?”