Damiancannotdraw

I never thought that there could be something that would hurt me more than the thought of you not loving me back, but now I see how freaking wrong I was. If there's something that could hurt me more is seeing you being happy with somebody else, and before you tell me how fucking greedy that is let me explain myself. I hate the idea of someone making you laugh or seeing you in ways that I could only dream of, and I don't mean just naked. I wanna wake every day before you do and listen to your heartbeat and being grateful for it every single day, I wanna be the one to wake you up and hear about what you dreamed of. I wanna see you sleepy in the mornings, just stumbling around the house until you've had your first cup of coffee, shit I even want to see you getting out of the wrong side of the bed. I wanna say goodbye to you with a kiss and wonder during the day if you are thinking about me. I wanna be waiting for you when you get home. I wanna hear about your day while we both cook and if you had a bad day I wanna get drunk with you on our kitchen floor. I wanna dry your tears, I wanna make you laugh so hard that your ribs hurt. And at night I wanna make love to you until we are both so exhausted that we fall asleep, fuck I want you to be the first and the last thing that I see each day for the rest of my life. And I know you didn't ask for this, but neither did I. And I know that everything I wanna give to you she can give it to you too. I knew from the start that you were too special for me, that's why I want to be with you because you deserve the world and I would give it to you. And that's also why I will step back and let you enjoy your life while I write down all the things I wanted to say to you but never did... And now I hate myself for it every single day