Random One Piece Things

Loki: *waking up with a yawn*

You: *resting on his chest, you awaken from the vibration*

Loki: *stretches his arms, before slowly going to sit up*

You: *eyes widening as your “bed” begins to tilt* L-LOKI, IM STILL HERE! *now on an unorthodox slide*

Loki: SHIT! *panics and immediately catches you in his hand* S-Shit, shit, shit! S-Sorry, I had to take a piss and forgot you were there!

You: *grumpily glaring at him from within his hand*

Loki: …You can continue to sleep on my shoulder?…

You: How the hell can I sleep now after that?!

Stranger: Excuse me, sir!

Ace: *turning around* Yeah?

Stranger: Times really are tough, huh? Even for you big-shot Whitebeard Pirates!

Ace: *confused* Huh? What do you mean?

Stranger: I can spare a few beris so you can buy a shirt!

Ace: *looks at his own usually shirtless form* Thank you for the offer, but that really isn’t necessary! I’m fine!

You: Indeed you are! ❤️

It looks so damn cute, and it actually looks fun, but I got a question…

Can we refuse service and ban certain characters? I have a list already cooked up of who to give food poisoning to if I cannot-

”Please… Stop that…” Loki begged, his voice weak as his eyes, now not covered in its usual bandages, quivered in emotion.

“Stop what?…” She asked him so sweetly, the concern on her face palatable. How he adored this woman so much, and that only made it that much harder.

“Stop making me love you… It’d just make it harder…” He shook his head.

“What harder? You know that I love you, so why are you saying that?…” She frowned softly, the very tip of his finger going to affectionately run over her head.

“…When I inevitably lose you…” Tears pricked his eyes. “You’re a human, and humans can only live for so long. I’d still look the same as the day we met, while you slowly wither away to time, the only thing in the world I can’t fight…”

“Then don’t waste a single second.” She told him, going to wrap her arms around the tip of his finger. “For now and forever, my feelings will not change. Even when the time comes, and it won’t be anytime soon, even by Giant standards, I’ll always be with you in spirit, that I promise.” She smiled tenderly up at him.

“So, don’t worry about the future, okay? You shouldn’t close yourself off anymore because of things like past hurt and time, because like it or not, I plan to be with you for the rest of my life. Does that sound good to you?”

You: Is there a reason you omitted the fact you work as a damn assassin for the World Government on our first date?!

Lucci: On your profile you said you liked, and I quote, “Men with a killer style”.

You: I-I meant as in fashion!

Lucci: You complimented my outfit. You even complimented it again today.

You: W-Wait, hold up- What I meant was that I wanted a man with great style, just in a dramatic way! Not that I wanted an actual damn killer who happens to be fashionable!

Lucci: …You also said, “Would be a bonus if you work a government job”.

You: NOT AS A DAMN ASSASSIN FOR THEM!

Lucci: You ALSO said, “Good with animals”. I have a pigeon. Why are you upset that I fit your standards?

You: *staring at him in disbelief*

Loki’s Japanese voice is hot… Now we wait for the English… Please keep the same energy, don’t let me down! It was such a treat to see the Prince of Elbaf, I cannot wait to see more, though I’m mentally preparing myself for when his early childhood is animated… I don’t think my poor heart will be able to take it, man 😭

You: *Waiting patiently outside, when a souped up van rolls in, blasting heavy metal. By the sound of the van pulling in, it definitely was not fitted with its original engine*

Kid: *rolling down window* You coming or just gonna gawk at the band van all day? Come in, you got shotgun! *passenger door opens up like a damn Lamborghini door*

You: *Wondering how the hell he did that, you get in, immediately being greeted by everyone else in the back*

Killer: I made snacks for the road. Here’s your bento box, before these idiots eat your portion- *hands you the most cutest bento box ever with your favorites inside*

You: Daw, thanks!

Kid: *one hand on wheel while the other holds a sandwich* We gonna stop for some gas, so if anyone needs to take a piss, that’s your only chance. I’m not gonna stop for shit, we’ll lose time if we-

Wire: Not even for a traffic jam? Just gonna crash into everyone?

Kid: Shut up before I leave your ass on the highway.

*A particular song plays*

Kid: I move in, now move out,

You and Co: Hands up, now hands down!

Killer: Back up, back up,

You and Co: Tell me what you’re gonna do now!

Heat: Breathe in, now breathe out,

You and Co: Hands up, now hands down!

Wire: Back up, back up,

You and Co: Tell me what you’re gonna do now!

Everybody head bangs in sync: Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, what? Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, come on!-

Kid: I’m surprised that piece of shit managed to even get to 50 thousand miles. The damn air filter was blacker than the strawhat’s cook friend’s lungs, for one, and then when I went to do the oil change, I shit you not, not even a damn drip. That car was beyond fucked.

Killer: Oh, I remember that. The alternator was also beyond fucked.

Kid: Oh, that reminds me, *turns to you* You’re about due for your oil change.

You: One thing-

Kid and Co: I don’t know why-

You: It doesn’t even matter how hard you try-

You: *noticing something* Hey, Kid,

Kid: Hm?

You: Your arm has been around my headrest almost this entire time.

Kid: Oh, yeah, this is the way I drive.

Wire: Bullshit.

Kid: I will seriously leave your ass right on this damn highway-

You: Hold me now-

Kid and Co: I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking-

Killer: Oh, look to the side, guys. Such beauty makes you forget the stench of the city, doesn’t it?

You: Can we stop to actually take some decent photos, Kid?

Kid: Can take the photos just fine from here, we got somewhere to be.

You: *pouts*

Heat: How come only Killer and her get to ride shotgun?

Kid: Because the hierarchy goes like this: Cute girl, best friend, all yall.

You: *realizing you actually got a compliment from Kid*

Wire: Or they’re the only ones who won’t call him out for his shit driving.

Kid: Get the fuck out-

Kid: Okay, here we are!

You: *taking in what you’re seeing*

You: This is just a junkyard!

Killer: Near a rich neighborhood!

Kid: They throw shit away that’s practically brand new. Maybe we can find some equipment or parts-

You: *shakes your head* Why did I expect a normal road trip-

*I picture this mentally as a skit*

Hooo boy, do I have a LOT to say about this Holy Knight in particular, but let’s just address the elephant, or rather kirin, in the room, shall we? Kirins have nothing to do with dreams.

But that inaccuracy aside, his power is rather broken (and cool) in practice. Able to manipulate dreams, make people fall asleep on command, and bring literal nightmares to life, with some of those nightmares able to come back as many times as he wishes. How does one go about beating a literal one man army?

(spoilers of latest elbaf chapters ahead:)

Make him a redhead and just chalk it up to him representing the rare blood moon-

Though seriously, the father of Shanks and Shamrock should have been handled in a different way. As it is currently, his actions don’t quite match up to the hype we were anticipating of the father of one of One Piece’s most iconic characters.

I think the best place to start with revising is his relationship with his sons’ mother, Magnolia. Instead of… whatever the hell that was, make it a more nuanced situation. It’s not unusual for people with superiority complexes to still hold desire for their “lessers”, example being the whole thing with mermaids being so highly sought after- you can’t convince me it’s just because they’d make unusual pets, that’s not usually how evil rich people roll.

But in the case of Garling with Magnolia, it would have been far more interesting if he actually had some affection for her. She was convinced he loved her, and if that was the case, then there would have been prior actions that would have suggested that. Maybe Garling justifies this relationship by thinking, “If I find her pleasing, then she is worthy, despite her less than ideal standing”. Given his ego, it wouldn’t be that far off to think that whatever he thought was the law, since that’s typical World Noble behavior. If one thought the sky was green, then they would believe that to be fact, regardless of what anyone thought since they were conditioned their entire lives that whatever their will is, shall be.

And Magnolia would have thought she was living in an actual fairytale. She was with a handsome Holy Knight who could give her a life she would have never dreamed of. And everything could have been hunky dory, on paper, until she realizes the true nature of the monster she’s with. God Valley could still happen, with it being his idea, and when she hears about this, she is naturally horrified. This was not the man she thought she had fallen in love with. I can imagine he was charming to her when they first met, finding her a cut above the usual “riff raff”. Perhaps it was her earnest attitude (an attitude Shanks would develop-) with someone of his station that would have made her initially endearing to him, and curious why she looks at him not as someone to fear (because initially she had no idea of the horrors he was capable of).

Remove the plot line of him wanting Shakky as his bride, and instead planning to win her over to use her as leverage against the big named pirates who were there to get her. Have him be a calculating man who tried to twist the field to his benefit, since the Davy clan is also there, so this whole hunt makes the perfect trap, kind of like Marineford.

During the events of God Valley, have Magnolia increasingly terrified, and trying to escape with their sons since she couldn’t stand the idea of them ending up like their cold, ruthless father. Have this naturally cause a rift with Garling, who genuinely doesn’t understand why this was so upsetting to her, since in his worldview this is quite normal. Now a few things can come from this:

-she rather die than accept these horrors as normal, and having her sons turn out just like their father

-she attempts to flee, only to die from the attempt. Perhaps another participant of the human hunt kills her, which would earn Garling’s ire, giving his character a little more nuance.

-she lives, but loses herself through the years, nothing more than a trophy wife who is now catatonic through to all the horrors she had to witness. Like a Russian situation.

Despite any of these paths, she tries to find a way to get her sons out of there, and sees the pirates as their way out. That way the things in canon regarding the twins happened could still happen, but it would definitely be what causes friction between her and Garling, since he would see this as a great betrayal. I wouldn’t even be mad if because of this action, he decides to kill her, but definitely not in the way that was done in canon. It just didn’t make any sense to me. She was good enough to sleep with and bear your children, the continuation of your “noble bloodline”, but not good enough to keep as yours? Yeah, no-

Have Garling be the one to actually kill Rocks in a more suitable way, cementing in the narrative how Blackbeard and Shanks were always meant to be natural enemies. What I mean is not when Rocks is weakened and beaten already in canon, but in an actual true, all out fight. Maybe have Garling, being cunning and cruel, use his own family against him, which would complicate the fight for Rocks. Have the fight go in Garling’s favor because of such trickery and due to his regen ability, rightfully marking him the champion of God Valley and actually making him seem like a big threat. If he was able to take down a top tier, then he’s worthy of the position he held, and would soon gain as an Elder Star.

Everything else with his character in canon is okay, but I feel it’d make the world of difference if just slight things like I mentioned above were changed about his character. Maybe then his representation would actually be suitable, which it should be since he’s the freaking father of Shanks of all people.

Hajrudin: *staring at Loki*

Loki: *preening proudly with a smirk*

Hajrudin: …H-How did you get braids that small?! I never known you to have small braids! (Or to not be a jerk)

Loki: Meet the one responsible. *proudly holds something in his large palm*

Hajrudin: *squints his eyes to see what it was*

You: *chilling within Loki’s palm* Hi! *waves*

Hajrudin: …A human woman? Since when did you meet-

Loki: -You get one look, and that’s it. *brings you close to his chest* Just so I can rub it in your face that I got the most beautiful girl. Sucks to be you, dogahaha!

Hajrudin: *considering yanking on his new braids before remembering height differences, and internally screaming at how annoying he is*

Killingham (Kirin head): Salutations, dear. Your beauty is like a freshly bloomed rose; a sight for sore eyes.

You: W-Wow, thanks-

Killingham (Centaur): *smacks your behind* Hey. Shake it don’t break it, babe. *smirks with eyebrow wiggles*

You: W-Wait, what-

Killingham (Kirin head): *tried some food* Pardon, please- *waves a waiter down politely* This is not quite to our tastes. Can my date and I perhaps sample another entree? I apologize if I’m inconveniencing you-

You: *thinking* What a gentleman.

Killingham (Centaur): *throws the plate at the poor waiter* What is this disgusting shit? Are you trying to poison us? I’ll skewer your damn head with my trident like you’re a kebab-

You: *thinking, horrified* Oh my god-

Killingham (Kirin head): What do I think of the world below? Well, you come from there, so it surely can produce treasures worthy of worshipping.

You: Awww, that’s so sweet!

Killingham (Centaur): You’re literally an anomaly from that disgusting poor excuse of a realm. Naturally only I could have found the only good thing from that wretched place.

You: *registering the current moment* Loki…

Loki: Hm?

You: …Why are you holding me like this? *in his hands like a doll*

Loki: Because I want you near, why else?

You: That’s sweet, but Loki… Why are we at the castle?

Loki: It’s my home.

You: And your request that I look like this? *dressed in ornate battle armor, hair in braids*

Loki: I thought you would look great, and I was right. *smitten smile*

You: Uhuh… And is there a reason you’re curled around me in your Zoan form?

Loki: *pauses* …I just felt like it.

You: Felt like being even bigger than you already are?! When I’m a human?!

Loki: *casually moves on* Hm…. I am thinking of rooming you in the tallest tower… So I can see you without dipping my head so low…