Damaged Solitude

“Nora?” Adam asked hastily stepping outside into the cold air before resting his hand upon Nora’s shoulder.

Anger flickered in Nora’s eyes as she lifted her head, her eyes meeting Adam’s. She watched as Adam’s cheeks grew red and his eyes too glittering under the street lamps as he swallowed back the tears of guilt.

“Nora I’m--” Adam  began but was cut off as Nora jerked her shoulder away in an effort to remove his hand from her shoulder.

“I think this-s is.. Is your’s.” Nora motioned passing the now giggling Indie into her brothers arms before taking one last look at the tall blonde who now stood in the doorway and taking one last glance at Adam before proceeding down the pathway.

Pushing past Indie and the girl standing in the door Adam ran down the front garden his long legs eating up the ground beneath him as he attempted to gain Nora’s attention.

“Adam. What was that? Adam?!” The girl inquired, but instead of an answer Adam ran off after Nora.

“Wait!” Adam panted as he slowed down beside Nora stopping her in her tracks. Nora cautiously spun slowly on her heels to face Adam. “Wh-o is sh-she?” Nora sobbed, not making any effort to hide her tears from Adam now.

Silence fell between the two as he glanced behind him and watched the girl bundle Indie into the house before she shot a small smile in Adam’s direction.

“Who i-is she!” Nora spat studying Adam, tears still continuing  to flow down her cheeks.

Shaking his head Adam ran his hand through his thick hair his eyes glued to the pavement beneath his feet in an effort to avoid eye contact with Nora.

“She’s.. That’s Billie..” He mumbled his eyes still focused on the floor, but his attention focused on his fingers. Nora watched as he picked at his fingers, allowing a small laugh to escape her lips to the realisation that her suspicions were true.

“Good-goobye A..Adam..”She choked, striding towards the car indicating to Marcie to get the engine started.

Swinging the door open Marcie hopped into the driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition of the car.

Tears streamed there way down Nora’s face causing the headlights of the car to become blobs of colour before she roughly wiped her cheek with the back of hand in an attempt to conceal her tears from Marcie. Reaching for the passenger seat door she paused and took one last look behind her.

She watched Adam screwed his fist into  tight balls, a single tear falling down his face.

“You’re so nice.” Indie mumbled among other words and sounds as they walked up to the bright red door. “I lo-”

“D-ddon’t you say it.” Nora cut Indie off, pressing her hand over her mouth in an attempt to prevent her from saying the words; but despite her actions Nora's cheeks blushed a bright red from Indie’s remark. Reaching out to ring the doorbell Nora failed twice as she poked the wall before eventually prodding the doorbell multiple times, careless of the fact it was almost 2:30am and anyone in the house would be sleeping.

“Hushhhh!” Indie sang, placing a finger over Nora’s lips as she looked up to meet her friendly eyes.

“Y-you know..” She continued “I love..I love youu!” Indie sputtered, falling into the door with a clunk, before erupting into hysterics once again as Nora struggled to support Indie, unaware of the footsteps on the other side of the door gradually becoming louder.

“Um..Can I help you?”An annoyed half-asleep voice came from above them. Scowling,  Nora followed the voice upwards as she was greeted by a tall blonde that stood in front of them, dressed in a tiny, sheer, silk nightgown.

“Addddddaaaaaammmm-mm” Indie sang out, falling back into the open doorway totally ignoring the presence of the unknown girl that had opened the door.

“Babe? Its your sister accompanied by some other girl..” The blonde mumbled to a shirtless Adam who was now approaching the door.

Nora’s eyes grew large as she watched Adam snake his arm around the girl in front of them before delicately pressing a small kiss onto her cheek.  

Rage and anger grew in Nora as the realization of the situation finally registered in her mind causing tears to brim in her eyes. Digging her fingernails into arm, Nora awkwardly swayed from foot to foot, trying not to make eye contact with Adam as she attempted to swallow down the tears that threatened her eyes.

Street upon street passed before Marcie turned down the all too familiar road, the same old houses lined the road but instead of the usual street lined with lit up houses after houses, they were greeted with pitch black.

“Right….he-here” Indie grumbled hoisting herself up off of Nora's lap so she was able to prod at the window to indicate which house was hers.

Pulling over to the side of the road Marcie frowned as she spotted the all too familiar red door that had belonged to Nora’s boyfriend.

“Nora?” Marcie questioned,reaching for the phone to check the address she had entered. Glaring hard at the address entered into the location bar annoyance bubbled in Marcie’s stomach. ‘Location - Adam Saunders - Home Address”.

“Nora! Stupid drunk ass! You bloody entered Adams address not Indies!” Marcie groaned tossing Nora's phone into the back of the car here they both sat.

“I l-live.. there..” Indie replied as she dragged her hand down the span of the window and glared at the house in awe.

Nora shot her head up and nodded violently in Marcie’s direction before reached for the door handle. Swinging the door open she pulled her legs out of the car and turned back around to face Marcie to mime the words ‘Adams sister’ while obnoxiously pointing to the half passed out Indie.

“Nora..no, I.. stay here, I’ll take her” Marcie replied, frantically scrambling out of the car in an effort to prevent Nora from getting out of the car.

“Nooo!” Nora replied “it’ll be fine-e, you..you just wait here!” She finished, before patting Marcie's shoulder in reasurement.

Sniggering Indie looked up to meet Nora’s eyes before a large grin appeared on her face.  “I,I think I ma-y be toooo”. She slurred as she stumbled causing the two to bump into Marcie's table.

“That-ts not very good then” Nora continued “Two dr-drunk girls! What on e-earth could go w-wrong!” Breaking into hysterics, Indie began to fall as Nora attempted to hold her up.

Turning to look at the two girls Marcie rolled her eyes. “I see you found a drinking buddy, a good one by the looks of how drunk you both are! ” She snorted breaking into the catchy hysterics of the two girls stood in front of her.

“You..you got that-t right!” Indie slurred again this time almost slamming herself onto the table as she attempted to balance herself against the already unstable Nora.

“Let's get you two home”. Marcie sighed, positioning herself in the middle of the two girls, linking arms with them in an effort to prevent them from falling and leading them out of the bar, to the car so they could begin to make their way home.

Wearily opening the car door she assisted Nora and Indie into the back seat of the car, attempting to buckle them in as they laid across each other lifelessly like dolls.

“Where am I taking you Indie?” Marcie questioned as she turned the key in the ignition of the car.

“Ho-hom..e” Indie mumbled weakly, her eyes slowly beginning to close as the alcohol was beginning to take its tole on Indie and Nora.

“Emphasize..?” Marcie mumbled under her breath, huffing before quickly glaring back at Nora in desperation. A few minutes passed as silence engulfed the car before Marcie's ear was greeted with the sound of shuffling and the all too common iPhone keyboard sound.

“Nora?!” A familiar voice interrupted.

Turning around Nora’s eyes met with the voice.“Hi..” Nora said in confusion as she watched  the girl standing in front of her sway from foot to foot.

“It’s been awhile hasn’t it!” The girl chimed, a large smile appearing on her face.

“It h-has..I’m sorry, this may sound rude, but i’m not too sure if I-I know you?” Nora mumbled, shooting back the vodka.

“Indie.. Indie Saunders. Adam’s sister”. Indie spoke, stumbling over the words.

“Indie! Jesusss you’ve changed so m-much.. I feel like a bit of an..an ass not knowing who my own boy-- not, not remembering Adam’s sister”. Nora stood awkwardly wrapping Indie into a hug, before sitting down again.

“Gosh don’t be! I just about remembered you, I mean I had suspected it might be you, but I debated coming over and talking to you for the past half and hour.. if it wasn’t you then it would be a tad embarrassing”. Indie giggled as she slid down on the stool beside Nora, almost falling off before signalling to the bartender for two shots.

“That w-would.. Wouldn’t it. Anyway how, how have y-you been?” Nora started to slur; feeling the effects of the alcohol now running through her blood.

The conversation between the two continued for most of the night and before they knew it, what only seemed like minutes turned into hours as Nora and Indie chatted on, taking shot after shot. The lights began to fade, as the bartender waltzed over producing drink after drink.

The small buzz from Nora’s phone broke the cycle as she began searching around in her purse rummaging for her phone before pulling it out, hitting the lock button and reading the text in front of her.

‘Marcie; Where are you? I'm still at the table’

“Fuck” Nora mumbled as she held the phone up to Indie indicating it was probably time they should get moving. Standing up the two awkwardly tried to balance themselves in their heels, holding onto each other whenever necessary as they began to make their way towards the table where Marcie and a group of other girls where located.

“A beer..actually.. make it two” Nora huffed with a slightly annoyed tone before she proceeded to rest her head onto the bar.

Utter exhaustion washed over Nora as the side of her face touched the sticky surface of the bar, her eyes fluttering open and shut every now and then when there would be an abnormally loud sound from across the bar. A few seats down a group of girls sat, drinking away the night shot after shot, while one muttered every now and then of how much of a cheating, lying ass her previous fling was. Closing her eyes, Nora began to drift slowly into a much needed sleep.

Night after night of no sleep occurred after the gala; sleepless nights where Nora would lay awake in bed wishing that Adam would be right beside her, but he never was. Every time the realization of that sunk in, Nora’s heart ached just that little bit more. When sleep did take over Nora, nightmares surrounding the gala haunted her dreams.

“Are you alright?” The bartender questioned, eyeing the now half asleep Nora draped over the bar in front of him.

Shooting up Nora’s eyes opened wide as she registered the bartender was talking to her.

“Ye-yes, I'm fine” Nora replied uncertainly, forcing a sincere smile onto her face.

Nodding the bartender shot her another friendly smile before returning to Nora’s order of two beers he'd neglected as he processed to glance between Nora and the two glasses, a look of concern registered on his face while he watched Nora wearily place her head back upon the bar, her eyes beginning to close.

“Your drinks...ma’am?” The bartender proclaimed, waking Nora as he slammed the two drinks onto the counter before her. Drowsily she reached out, grasping the first glass and pulling it up to her mouth. Taking large gulps, Nora looked over towards Marcie who had now found herself within a group of girls. Nora looked back down at the bar, her drink now empty except for a bit of head on the bottom of the glass. Starting her second glass, the whole room seemed to become muffled by the sound of her own thoughts.

Nora picked a dingy little bar a few blocks from her house, much to Marcie’s discontent. Stepping inside the stale smell of liquor and fried food filled their noses and throats. The lights were dim, except for the blaring T.V playing last night's sports. Over in the corner sat two intoxicated men laughing and playing pool, and a young lady sat at the bar drowning her sorrows while telling the preoccupied bartender everything from her latest breakup.

“Nora…” Marcie stuttered, grasping her purse tightly to her as she waltzed to the other side of the bar looking around, her face portraying disgust.

“Oh calm down.” Nora persuaded sitting down at the nearest table. “ You wanted to go out..maybe next time if you're so fussed you should have chosen the bar, instead of leaving me to do it last minute”.

“I know.. I know. Believe me, I won't make the mistake of letting you choose a bar again”. Marcie frowned before sighing and tossing her purse onto the grubby table in front of her.

“You know what I need a drink.. I can’t be dealing with this sober, I’ll be right back”.

Clenching her purse to her side Nora rose from her chair and began to make her way over to the bar conscious of all the eyes that followed her as she made her way across to the other side of the room.

She slid her way onto one of the grungy bar stools laden with crumbs and food spillings from previous patrons. Placing her purse on her lap, she flicked her hand up to the bartender indicating she wanted to order something. Minutes passed before the bartender made his way over to Nora’s location, flashing a friendly smile in her direction on the walk over.

Nora toyed with the pancakes in front of her, Marcie watched as she swiped the small piece of pancake from one side of the plate to the other in silence.

Tears pooled in Nora’s eyes and the emotions and feelings from last night seeped there way back into the front of her mind.

“Nora?” Marcie began in a sympathetic tone as she placed down her fork on the table and began to make her way over to Nora who had now turned her face away from Marcie in an effort to prevent her from seeing the tears that were now spilling down her face.

“Nora?” Marcie repeated crouching down beside now resting her hand upon Nora’s thigh.

“I messed up Marcie” Nora’s voice croaked as she spoke. “It’s all my fault.”

Marcie’s dark brown sympathetic eyes continued to glare at Nora, tears proceeding to stream down her face as she was unable to form words. Marcie stared at her best friend in discomfort and anticipation of what Nora was going to say next.

“I just.. Everything got out of hand Marc. My parents decided that it was necessary to attend that stupid Gala that one of their snobby rich friend throws every year and my dumb ass decided..” Nora paused as she spent a moment collecting herself before attempting to speak through the tears that were still running down her face “My dumb ass decided to invite fucking Adam..”

Shaking her head her eyes fell on her lap where she began to pick of last night's nail polish.

“Nora, I don’t understand why’re you’re getting so upset, isn’t that a good thing that you invited Adam? I mean he got to meet your parents!” Marcie spoke uneasily, peering up into Nora’s eyes.

“So?” Marcie questioned as she placed the pancakes on the table.

“So?..” Nora responded confusion laced in her voice as she  took her seat in the chair opposite while she watched Marcie retreat back to the counter to grab the  two cups of coffee.

Setting down the coffee mugs on the table Marcie sat down in front of Nora. Nora observed as Marcie shuffled around on the uncomfortable wooden chairs before she reached forwards and placed two pancakes onto her plate before picking up her knife and fork as if she was to begin eating.

Looking down at her plate and back up at Nora, Marcie frowned. Her eyebrows furrowed into a straight line as she stared at Nora with an almost disappointed look on her face.

“So! What's the reason behind all these tears?” Marcie questioned as she shoved a fork full of pancakes into her mouth and glared hard at Nora anticipating an answer.

The answer to Marcie’s question lingered on the tip of Nora’s tongue but for some reason Nora was unable to confess to the reasons behind her tears. Instead she disregarded Marcie's question and proceeded to stare at the empty plate in front of her.

“Earth to planet Noraa!” Marcie sang wafting her fork around in front of Nora in an effort to get her attention.

Reverting her gaze from the empty plate Nora glanced emotionless up at Marcie before shrugging and placing two pancakes onto her plate.

“No fair!” Marcie whined shoving yet another mouth full of pancakes into her mouth “I need more than a shrug you ass!”.

Hours later Nora awoke to the sound of the kettle being boiled in the kitchen and the smell of pancakes drifting into her bedroom through her now open door. Panic and confusion registered in Nora’s head as she bolted up and began striding to the kitchen in hopes that she would see Adam’s back that was turned facing the oven.

“Adam?” Nora croaked rubbing her eyes as she continued to make her way towards the kitchen.

She watched as the person that was controlling the oven place down a pair of tongs on the kitchen counter and turned around to face her. She was greeted by Marcie’s warm welcoming smile. Sighing slightly Nora awkwardly scratched her arm in  disappointment that the person in the kitchen was not the person she was expecting or the person she wanted.

“Morning Sunshine!” Marcie piped returning back to the oven to check on the pancakes that she was currently making.

“Morning..” Nora uncertainly mumbled as she made her way over to the kitchen counter located beside the oven and hoisted herself up onto it.

Glancing up at Nora a concerned look appeared on Marcie’s face as she examined Nora from head to toe.

“You’ve been crying” Marcie stated as she kept her attention focus on the pancakes in front of her.

Rubbing her eyes Nora awkwardly shuffled around on the kitchen counter uncomfortable at the realisation she probably looked a mess.

“What gave you the hint?” Nora groaned as she continued to wipe her reddened eyes smearing her makeup from eye to eye.

“Hmm, I don't know” Marcie began as Nora watched her transfer two pancakes from the pan to a plate that was left beside the stove for the purpose of serving them up. “ Maybe the red puffy raccoon eyes you’re rocking” Marcie responded before giggling to herself subtly and picking up the plate of pancakes and heading to the dining table.

Hopping off the counter Nora followed behind her dragging her feet along the floor wishing she'd stayed in bed instead of entertaining the idea that the person in the kitchen making coffee and pancakes was Adam.

“You’ve reached the phone of Adam Saunders leave a message after the tone unless you're Nora then fuck off.”

*Beep*

Hitting the end call button Nora slammed her phone down on the bedside table. The past two weeks had passed but yet Adam still refused to talk to Nora even any form of communication was out of the question. Voice mail after voice mail Nora attempt to persuade Adam to call her back and enlighten her as to what she had done that was so bad to push him away. But he still refused and it ate at her. Hunching down into her lap, hot tears began to stream down her cheeks. Pushing her hair behind her ears, Nora lifted her head and gave a sniffle.

“Don't you cry Nora.” She tried to persuade herself, but tears continued to fall.

*buzz*

Scrambling, Nora threw herself across her bed, grabbing her ringing cell. Her eyes grew large as she held back her tears, just hoping it would be Adam - it had to be. She held her breath as she spun the phone around in her palm, but to her disappointment all that read was “Marcie.” Flopping back down on her bed, she curled into a ball as tears began to stream down Nora’s face.

*1 new message*

“Nora. I’m worried and I’m coming over. You need to get out. Please Nora.” Marcie's quivering voice rang into the air.

Placing her phone back down onto the side table Nora’s eyes remained focused on the ceiling as small pools of tears began falling onto her cheeks. Thoughts flooded her mind causing her heart to wrench. She missed him. Closing her sore, puffy eyes, Nora slowly drifted to sleep.

“I’m not in the mood, Indie. Just leave me alone, Okay?” Adam mumbled, turning to face Indie.

“Ah Come on, Adam. You can tell your little sister what's the matter!”

“Just leave me the fuck alone, Indie! Jesus!” Adam exploded, storming towards the kitchen.

“Woah, Okay.. shit, I’m sorry, Okay?” Indie snapped back at him.

“Yeah.. Okay, whatever”. Adam sighed, brushing off his sister's comment.

“I’m serious though, Adam… I do care. I heard what happened between the two of your from upstairs. Are you alright?” Indie carefully inquired, placing her hand on his shoulder.

Sitting down Adam placed his hands in his palms.“Ye--No.. I don’t know, did I do the right thing?”

Grabbing a coke from the fridge, Indie slid down onto a chair beside him.“Well.. Do you feel like it was the right thing to do?” She consoled.

“I..- Yes, Yeah I do”. Adam replied matter in factly, taking a large chug from his half drunk beer.

“Then there’s your answer”. Indie remarked, tapping the edge of her bottle against Adam’s beer.

“Adam, please!” Nora spoke, tears now collecting in the corners of her eyes.

“Just fucking leave Nora!”

Nora quietly walked around him, grabbing her purse and heels before looking back at Adam. “I love you.” She lamented stepping out onto the front walk.

--

Adam’s face contorted in fury as the door slammed behind Nora, raising his fist Adam hesitated; his knuckles slowly turning white as he clenched his fists in an effort to prevent himself from punching the brick wall that stood in front of him.

“For fucks sake..” Adam mumbled slowly unclenching his fist, his arm falling heavily to his side as he exhaled deeply.

“Someone's pissed” Indie sniggered appearing at the bottom of the stairs behind him.

“Get out of my fucking house!” Adam snapped, pushing past her, back into the living room.

Clenching his jaw Adam slammed his coffee cup down onto the table, drops of coffee splattered on the table creating scattered brown marks on the tabletop. Turning back around to face Nora he gave her a long hard stare before reverting his gaze back outside.

“Adam…?” Nora continued as she hesitantly edged closer towards Adam, gently placing her hand upon his shoulder hoping it would prompt Adam to turn around.

Spinning around on his heels Adam flicked Nora’s hand away from his shoulder a look of annoyance now registered on his face.

“Fuck, just leave me alone okay? I’m done dealing with your fucking ignorance. Every time Nora every time!” Adam seethed storming back into the kitchen slamming his hands down onto the counter in front of him.

“Adam.. please, speak to me..” Nora pleaded as she sheepishly followed Adam into the kitchen, standing beside him her eyes focused on the ground.

“I’m done!” Adam spat, “You need to fucking leave”

“What..Adam I-” Nora stuttered trying to recollect the night before.

“Good morning.” Nora grunted, slowly arising from her current position, rubbing her head in hopes to relieve the pain throbbing between her temples.

Sitting up, Adam slicked his hands through his messy hair before huffing and pulling himself of the chair totally ignoring Nora presence .Adam’s long legs ate up the floor as he strolled into the kitchen before reappearing holding a hot cup of coffee in his right hand.

“No good morning? Are you mad at me or something?” She asked looking at Adam, who stared deeply into his coffee. Minutes passed and Adam continued to stare into his cup. “Are you going to answer me?” Nora inquired.

Adam stood, his face drained and lifeless. He made his way over to the window before sighing and turning back to the now fuming Nora. “Yes.” He rebutted.

Subsequently after Nora followed Adam towards the window lingering behind him as she anticipated Adam adding more to the little answer he had offered.

Nora stared at him quizzically. “I don’t understand.”

“Do you not remember last night? No of course you don’t because you drank both of us under the table and I didn’t even get one sip. And your parents…”

Adam wrapped his arms around and under her limp body, slowly lifting her from the seat, hoping not to wake the now fast asleep Nora. Jumbling his keys, he opened the door with a slight creak. Slipping off his shoes and throwing her heels on the bench, carefully he made his way up into her living room. Gently, he placed her down onto the couch and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead before making his way back to the chair positioned beside the couch. The night had exhausted him, between Nora’s behaviour and her parents. Switching the TV on he drifted off into sleep.

“You smell like the inside of a winery! How much have you drank tonight?”

“Jus..just a little” Nora admitted, twirling a loose strand of hair between her fingers.

“Christ Nora it smells like you’ve bathed in it!” Her mother snapped, the normal look of disapproval back on her face.

“Sorry Mrs Henderson, I was just about to take her home, she got a bit carried away”. Adam spoke up, pulling Nora towards him.

“Adam, darling you don’t need to apologise for Nora.” Jethro spoke with dismay. “It seems our daughter still is still unable to control herself”

“Daddd! W-way to throw me under the..the bus, geez!” Nora exclaimed crossing her arms over her chest, pouting like a five year old.

“Nora, we’re taking you home” Jethro explained, his voice growing louder with anger.

“Bu..but, I wanna go home with Adaamm!” Nora whined back to her father.

Nora looked up at Adam, hoping to get him on her side, but he was too busy watching her dad jester him to the side. Making eye contact with Nora, he slowly made his way over to her father for “a talk.” He shoved his sweaty fists into his pockets, letting Jethro speak first.

“Adam, I really appreciate you looking after Nora, I really do. but look at the poor girl, she’s a mess, let me and Heidi take her home. she’ll be better coming home with us” Jethro insisted, his voice calm but demeaning.

“Mr Hender– Jethro. Please she’s my mess, she’s never usually like this. I promise she’ll be just fine coming home with me”. Adam testified, looking over at Nora who was being scolded by her mother.

Jethro hesitated before once again speaking. His tone was upset, but still calm. “Fine.. Fine. You seem like a good man Adam. An especially good man for my Nora so please don’t prove me wrong” He hissed walking over to his wife, saying a few words to Nora, then motioning his wife to leave.