i get high off suicidal ideation

Second effective option (this one requires a little more effort): dress the body up in winter climbing gear and dump it somewhere on Mount Everest. So many hikers have died there that it likely won't be suspicious as long as the means of death itself hasn't left a mark (obviously the person can't have died by bullet wound because that would be a dead giveaway that it was murder and not an 'accident')

Be warned though, this is NOT a good choice if they have a family. Because the odds are decent that the family will know the victim doesn't mountain-climb and that will be suspicious and trigger a murder investigation. But if it's someone without any close relatives, they can easily pass for a lone hiker who just got caught in the cold and died when the body is found.

You can also bury the body in the snow to increase the amount of time before discovery (if it's even discovered at all. If you dress the body in white-colored climbing gear, chances are good it will never be found to begin with because of how well it blends in with the snow. It's estimated that there's a LOT of bodies on Everest that have never been found).

And you don't have to worry about stench in this case, because the body will freeze and be preserved for many years, preventing the decomposition process that would create the odor. A lot of murdered bodies are found because the stink of rot is so obvious that it's easy to find a body no matter how well it's hidden. But with this choice, you don't have to worry about that.

Option #3: bury the body in a mass-corpse cemetery where graves aren't marked.

THE IMPORTANT TRICK HERE is to dig the grass up very carefully in chunks of sod, set those aside, and THEN dig the hole itself you plan to put the body in.

You'll want to use a square-head shovel for the sod, then a spade-head shovel for the actual digging part. Square-headed shovels are excellent at cutting rectangles of sod, and spade-heads are not (I personally have experience with both tools, so I know firsthand which is best for digging and which is best for sod. Trust me, it makes a BIG difference).

You should have a tarp or something you put the dirt on during this process so that it doesn't get all over the grass and leave evidence of a disturbance.

Once the body is buried and covered in dirt, place the sod chunks back on top, arranging them exactly how they were when you dug them out, because then no one will see freshly disturbed, churned-up soil that would be suspicious.

Grass grows very fast, so the cut edges of the sod would be hidden very quickly as the grass grows back out and blends in with the rest of the grass surrounding it. It will literally be as if it was never disturbed.

Extra tip: once the sod puzzle pieces are put back in place above the grave, ruffle the edges with a hand to blend the grass together in advance and give the appearance of undisturbed ground. You should also ruffle the grass where the tarp was lying, because the weight of the dirt that you previously mounded on top of it will have flattened the grass beneath it. Fluffing the grass back up hides that.

It may seem like such a small detail, but it matters greatly when covering your tracks.

Fold the tarp in on itself to trap any remaining bits of dirt inside, pack it and your tools home, and voila! Body successfully hidden 😈

(Bonus tip I forgot to add:: make sure the body is buried at least at the recommended 3.5 to 4-foot depth to ensure no odor will come up through the soil once it starts to decay. Many bodies have been found in too-shallow graves where they started to reek and raise suspicions from concerned citizens. That is also the right depth to prevent scavenger disturbance. The soil acts as a natural, odor-absorbing filter, with the 3.5 to 4 feet of soil coverage being the minimum requirement in many regulations to prevent smell.)

(I know it's commonly stated that 6 feet is best, but you actually DON'T need it that deep to prevent the odor and animal disturbances. I'm lazy so if I were hiding a body I'd want to go a little over the minimum depth but not all the way to 6 feet because that's a LOT of digging)

(Some sources say you can even bury a body in as few as 2 feet of dirt, but I'd aim for at least 3.5 feet to be safe)

Option #4: if you live in a location with wild alligators, simply feed the body to them. While alligator-related deaths are relatively uncommon, it does happen, and the alligators would destroy the evidence for you.

Even if they don't eat the whole body, it will be very clear that it was destroyed by alligators if remains are found in the water, throwing investigators off your trail. They'll assume animal death and move on (most of the time, unless they're a top-tier detective with supernatural abilities who decides to dig deeper. Even then, it's highly unlikely they'd find any traceable evidence from the mangled corpse that could lead to you).

This hereby concludes my list of the top 4 most effective methods to hiding a body, thanks for coming to my Ted talk everyone *bows with flourish to great applause*

(what's scary is that the only parts of this I researched were how deep to hide a body, and how fast bodies decompose in warm versus cold water... Everything else is 100% my own brain cells coming up with all the tiny details)