Relapse @dam4gedmind-blog - Tumblr Blog

I'm so fat. I hate the fact I've gained weight. I miss seeing my bones and I miss people commenting on how skinny I was.

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

thezineblog

ephemeralex

this deserves so much more notes

nudv

take away number 4, i can’t stand touching. sorry not sorry. (sorry)

seutae-deactivated20121225

lmprovident-blog

if you follow the paintbrush with your eyes while not moving your head, it forces you to use emdr which is a therapeutic technique to calm anxiety/panic. watching fish swim causes the same effect.

oceae-deactivated20140622

reblogging again

reclusivehermit-deactivated2021

oil-eclipse

weary--soul-deactivated20140324

promise me if you see this on your dash, you won’t kill yourself tonight

shitty-feelings-shitty-me

Suicide/ Self Harm/ Depression/ Advice blog!   *TRIGGER WARNING*

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

extrasad

shitty-feelings-shitty-me

Suicide/ Self Harm/ Depression/ Advice blog!   *TRIGGER WARNING*

the-beauty-of-words-blog

shitty-feelings-shitty-me

Suicide/ Self Harm/ Depression/ Advice blog!   *TRIGGER WARNING*

Oh, and another thing I just need to get off my chest.

Up until September last year, I had only slept with two people. As of last Friday, that number is now 12.

In not even a year, I have managed to get through 10 people. 10 fucking people.

I was in a relationship with one of those 10.

What does that say about me? I know pretty much everyone sees me as a slut, but the thing is, I don't even enjoy the sex I have.

I can't wait for it to be over before its even started most times, yet I still do it? I still let guys fuck me without a single protest.

Why? Please, someone actually give me an answer because I sure as shit don't have one.

#sex #depression #thoughts

Just a little (for lack of a better word) update on my life.

I hate the fact that I can never, ever explain myself or how I'm feeling. No matter how hard I try, the right words just never come out and I end up rambling on about stupid shit. I really wish I was able to think clearly instead of wading through a thick swamp of thoughts, desperately trying to reach an explanation.

All of my relationships are so fucked up right now. Basically this guy I used to be close with (fuck buddies) has just been telling me how he found his dream girl the other day, and obviously I told him I'm really happy for him. To a certain extent this is true. I want him to be happy because I know he deserves it, but I can't help but feel such a huge wave of abandonment, jealously and anger. I don't even know why I feel this seeing as I broke off the sexual side of our relationship a while ago. Maybe it's because I always just assumed I could go back to him whenever I wanted sort of thing, but now he's no longer mine. I also feel like I won't ever see him anymore, that he's going to stop finding me fun to chill with or speak to now he's got a new girl. It really boils down to me feeling like I've been left behind and that's so fucked up because it's not even like I have feelings for the guy, I don't even want him, but I do want him... If that makes any sense at all? Probably not.

That's only one of my messy relationships I have right now but things are too damn long and complicated to write down. Basically, I'm feeling pretty negative and lonely about most things right now but I'm sure a mood swing will come around soon enough...

#depression #thoughts #relationships

me-writing

Visit Original Link

Audio from Deleted Scene The poem that Charlie reads at Secret Santa party to his friends

“That was the poem I read for Patrick. Nobody knew who wrote it, but Bob said he heard it before, and he heard that it was some kid’s suicide note. I really hope it wasn’t because then I don’t know if I like the ending”.

stylesbraid

I’m fucking crying

abigailros-e-deactivated2013053

“that’s why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem and he called it “absolutely nothing” because that’s what it was really all about and he gave himself an A and a slash on each damned wrist and he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn’t think he could reach the kitchen”

memoriesrecollected

you don’t understand how much i fucking love this.

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Gonna try really hard to make a doctor's appointment for myself tomorrow. Each time I've tried to ring them before, I get scared and hang up before they can answer. I'm not even sure I need to go back to counselling, but it's just something that I actually sort of want to do. It seems strange, but it looks like a sort of security blanket... I think that's probably what I need right about now.

doodlejumping

tryingtomakeyoufeel

misscannabliss

always reblog

shadeless

a-onmymind

I’ve had my blog for two years, and not once have I ever cried at a post, even at all the sad things I’ve seen and reblogged and liked. But this, for some reason, made me cry, out of all posts.

shfly3424

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

I haven't really been using this blog properly as of late because there hasn't really been much to say. I'm not entirely sure how I'm feeling at the moment... I'm not happy, but then I'm not exactly unhappy either. I guess you could say apathetic, but even that doesn't seem to quite fit what I am right now. I'm probably just starting the cycle all over again, I just have to wait for something major to fuck up and then BOOM, I'll be a miserable little fucker again.

I also really want to cut myself and I don't even know why. Like, I genuinely have no specific reason to harm myself but I just have such an un-explainable urge to take a blade to my skin and watch as the blood slowly rises out of the wound.

I just wish I could have some form of straight-forward thinking so that, for once in my life, I could be in control of who I am and how I'm feeling.

I haven't really posted on here properly in a while as I haven't known what to say. I have the same feelings as ever, except they're more underlying and a huge cover of emptiness has taken the front row. I just don't have the energy or motivation to do anything other than think about what's happened and how I seem to be slowly turning more insane as each day passes. I haven't cut in 1 week and 5 days and I don't plan on doing it anymore. Like, I really don't want to and it's not like I ever feel the urge to do it so I'm hoping it won't be too hard. It's just when my more paranoid me comes to take charge that I'll have problems. I know that I won't want to cut in the slightest, but that version of myself will make it happen no matter what. I just need to find a way to silence her and the only way I can think of doing that is by going back to counselling. The problem there is that now my empty stage has come back into power, I don't see that happening any time soon.

I hate the games I play with myself, things would be so much easier if I could take control.

Trending Blogs

Last Seen Blogs

Relapse