It’s already 3am and yep,  still not sleeping! I guess it’s not only my body clock that’s been messed up since this quarantine started. 

Anyway, I decided to use tumblr again, and try to make online journals from time to time. I think it’s exciting to still track my everyday routine and look back to it in the future. It will be a great way to see things you might want to improve in life, or just simply reminisce events and feel grateful about it. 

So here we go:

Today’s the 70th day of quarantine, and I’m very thankful that we’re all safe during this pandemic. Being at home was supposed to be easy, but I would be a hypocrite to say that I wasn’t bored even once - everyday I’ve been praying for tomorrow to get back to normal, wishing the virus would vanish anytime soon. 

Each day it gets harder. Gusto mong magamit ng tama yung napakadameng oras na meron ka, kasi ayaw mong masayang. Yet your drive isn’t enough for you to be that productive the way you used to be. You crave for food you usually eat when you’re stressed, you miss to hangout at places you love, and kept longing for that normal life you had before this situation. But what really stresses me more? Our safety, esp. my mom’s. My dad recently passed away last January, and now we’re focusing to keep mom healthy as much as possible. Then you’ll get even more sad with the news, that covid cases are still going up, that the ECQ have been modified since the economy is suffering. It’s very frustrating. Sobrang hirap.

Yet this struggle is still very different from others who’s been really suffering right now.  “Wala na po kameng makain”  - my construction worker texted me this last April, asking if he can borrow money first and pay me as soon work resumes. He lives in Cavite and we can’t visit him that time, so we just sent money through an app. I also donated cash to food drives occurring here at our city - alam mo yung pakiramdam na gusto mong makatulong kahit papaano - gusto mong mag volunteer, pero sobrang delikado.

But this quarantine had been longer than what we expected. I don’t know if everyone who needs support right now have been properly aided for the months that passed. There’s still no cure for COVID. We can’t predict the government’s actions. Tons of concerns are voiced out over social media, but it’s like no one’s hearing all of it. 

To sum it all up, everything IS NOT OKAY. But, if I’ll let the situation eat up all my time and just worry - it will slowly kill everything I’ve worked for the last 28 years of my life - my purpose. God created each one us uniquely, and we live to provide the purpose he gave us to this world. My passion for architecture will always be the greatest gift that God gave me, and I strongly believe that this fuels my purpose in life. 

That’s why I decided that I have to take good care of myself more these days. I can’t let my emotions win over me. I discovered 2 things that really helped me survive the struggling quarantine days I’ve had:

I made a habit tracker (morning to evening - I listed daily tasks/hobbies, easily reminding me that I’ll never ran out of things to do. Also listed things such as drink vitamins, eat fruits and veggies, drink 8 glasses of water, anything health related! So bye bye to forgetting simple things (hehehe)

I made affirmations - I got this from “The Miracle Morning” through Blinkist (really nice app, download it now) Just ask yourself, what are your goals, why you wanted those to happen, and what are the things you’re willing to do to make it happen. Recite them before you sleep and as you wake up. 

So that’s it. New blog post after a very long time. 

I know we can survive this. I will continually pray for it :)

FEELS LIKE COLLEGE ALL OVER AGAIN.