WEDNESDAY, 8 JULY 2024. EDITED BY J. JONAH JAMESON.
AMERICAâS FIRST FAMILY LEADS THE WAY!
Although responses to the newly created S.315, aka the Underage Superhuman Welfare Act have been decidedly mixed the first superheroes have finally stepped out in support. Fantastic Four members Dr. Reed Richards and Dr. Susan Storm-Richards announced that they not only believe in Kamalaâs Law but have also registered their own children, Franklin Richards ( 16 ) and Valeria Richards ( 14 ) with Mister Fantastic set to sponsor Valeria while the Invisible Woman will register Franklin. This announcement may come as a surprise to some but analysts predicated it weeks ago due to the Fantastic Fourâs history. Child Protective Services were called a few years back, according to government records, as it was believed that children could not be raised in a healthy and safe environment if superheroics are in the mix. It was ultimately decided that the Richardâs were fit to maintain custody of their children. Their current support of the Act shows a continued devotion to making the world a safe place for young heroes.
Psychologist and government agent Dr. Valerie Cooper pointed out that S.315 was not put in place to discourage underaged superheroes, only disruptive behavior. âDuring formative years itâs important for there to be structure and consistency. S.315 requires underage heroes to enter partnerships with established adult heroes who can provide advice and guidance.â By that definition it should be easy for people to take extra precautions to protect their children and set them up for success. Upon turning twenty-one sponsored heroes are able to become mentors themselves, therefore creating a positive cycle that shows sponsorship is not censorship.
âWe want the world for our children,â the Invisible Woman said in a Fantastic Four press conference. âBut we also remember the fear and struggle that can come with harnessing metahuman abilities. Our son has fantastical powers and with proper guidance we know he can do fantastic things. Thatâs why we support Kamalaâs Law; it fosters potential. Weâve always been champions of positive change and hopefully, through this, a little bit more is passed onto our children.â
With the Fantastic Four now behind the Underage Superhuman Welfare Act more heroes are expected to step forward. So far none of Osbornâs American Avengers have been listed as potential sponsors but they are expected to be soon. Hero teams such as the Champions and the family of minors the Power Pack are expected to sign up for sponsorship soon or will face repercussions. As more and more time passes it seems as if President Osbornâs America may be here to stay. If the Fantastic Four leads the way we may very well end up in a world with supervised heroics. Hopefully this goes better than the last time.
â Christine Everhart, Daily Bugle News Senior Reporter
ROBBING THE C.R.A.D.L.E.: A CONTAINMENT OUTBREAK
Over the last three months the Child Hero Reconnaissance and Disruption Law Enforcement ( C.R.A.D.L.E. ) division of the government have rolled out raids and warranted visits to bring in underaged superheroes. As it stands, being a superhero under the age of twenty-one is not illegal as long as said hero has a government approved sponsor. The government has deigned Central VA Correctional Unit 13 in Virginia as the official C.R.A.D.L.E. Correctional Facility. âThe goal is not long term residency,â C.R.AD.L.E. Captain Carolina Washington said in a statement after the announcement. âTheyâre not inmates. Itâs a correctional facility in name but the point is to have a consolidated place to keep heroes safe while we process each case. After they comply theyâre welcome to go home and continue making a positive difference.â
On May 25th C.R.A.D.L.E received an anonymous tip that the New Avengers would be having a meeting at the New Avengers Compound in Upstate New York. This tip came shortly after the Bugle received word that high school senior Peter Parker of Queens, NY was actually the masked hero known as Spider-man. Whether or not Parker was the reason C.R.A.D.L.E. was called to the Compound is unknown, but he was confirmed to be present. Please see our article by reporter Melita Garner on page 3 for more of Spider-manâs story. C.R.A.D.L.E. Captain Carolina Washington led the strike alongside Americaâs Avenger team-member Star, who was there to oversee the situation. Upon arriving they received pushback from Katherine Pryde ( Red Queen ), Sam Wilson ( Captain America ) and Carol Danvers ( Captain Marvel ) the operatives were able to take seven underaged heroes into custody. Parker managed to evade arrest alongside Illyana Rasputina ( Magik ) and Nathan Summers ( Cable ). The addition of the May 25th raid brought the total of arrested minors to seventeen total in the Correctional Facility.
Surprisingly, among those taken into custody was Xandra Neramani, daughter of the deceased Shiâar Empress Lilandra Neramani and famed mutant leader and humanitarian Charles Xavier. The arrival of the Shiâar in March revealed that the galactic empire had chosen to allow a fifteen year old to act as their Majestrix due to her Neramani royal blood. Â She has been supported by Shiâar Grand Council and former Majestrix Kallark ( Gladiator ). The Shiâar are known for complicated family relationships, and it was her Aunt turned guardian Calâsyee Neramani ( Deathbird ) who handled the incident. Empress Neramaniâs action as a minor on American soil conflict with her diplomatic status, but she was released the following morning to Deathbirdâs care and the elder Shiâar made reassurances that the Empire took no offense and that Empress Neramaniâs position is an understandably delicate one. Xandra is the only arrested minor to be released and the rest were booked that night.
On June 15th there was a disturbance at the Correctional Facility when a group disguised as guards broke in. Security cameras have positively identified them as Avengerâs Hawkeye ( Barton ), Hawkeye ( Bishop ), Spider-man ( Parker ) and Spider-Woman ( Drew ). Also present were mutants Angel ( Worthington III ), Cable ( Summers ), Cyclops ( Summers ), Gambit ( LeBeau ), Hellion ( Keller ), Kid Omega ( Quire ), Illyana Rasputina ( Magik ) and Polaris ( Lorna Dane ).
No guards were killed during the break-in and injuries were minor. They managed to break into special holdings and free seven minors. Some of these youth were deemed a danger to themselves and others. Take for example, eighteen year old Lana Baumgartner, aka Bombshell. Baumgartner and her mother, Lori, were booked a decade back for robbery and the eight year old was sent to the S.H.I.E.L.D. Maximum Security Facility for Mutants. A child criminal with mutant terrorist charges, Baumgartner was deemed a victim of poor parental influence and given a parole that meant she was prohibited from using her abilities until the age of twenty-one. The revelation that she has been working with the Champions means she has broken her parole and is legally required to stay at the Facilities until she can be tried again. Cases like this show why C.R.A.D.L.E. is important. Some kids are caught up in things bigger than themselves but others make conscious decisions to do wrong and need to be held accountable.
C.R.A.D.L.E. is currently working to reprehend those who escaped. Jurisdiction remains complicated in mutant cases due to the fact that while they now claim Krakoa citizenship most were born in the States and operate here. The same goes for Terrigen fueled Nuhumans, but like Krakoaâs Quiet Council the Inhumans Queen Amaquelin has remained firm that her people - who are also Americans - should be allowed to live freely as both.
If you see an underaged superhero, please call the C.R.A.D.L.E. Hotline to report them. A list of sponsored heroes is available on C.R.A.D.L.E.âs webpage along with information on those who have warrants out for them. Like the government has said, this is for the good of underaged heroes. Youâre helping both them and the country you live in.
â Sally Floyd, Daily Bugle News Senior Reporter
THE CABAL THAT ISNâT A CABAL AT ALL, OR, POWER PLAYS
Cabal, noun: a secret political clique or faction. Normally, the point of a cabal would be to stay true to its definition and remain out of the public eye but news broke back in late April that President Norman Osborn was assembling his own with an impressive array of world leaders in a new sign of unity and development. Shortly after the leak Oscorpâs new spokeswoman Lily Hollister confirmed that the Cabal was real and would function similar to the now defunct multiversal Illuminati of heroes that had consisted of heroes such as Doctor Strange, Namor, Black Bolt and others. According to Hollister, the Cabal was never meant to be secret but treaties and alliances had yet to be secured.
Now made public, the âCabalâ name has stuck but the group is being touted as a sign of unity and progress. Representatives hail from across the galaxy and are compromised of groups that normally would not be seen working together. Of course, thereâs been a fair amount of discourse stemming from the proximity and relationship that each member has with the leader of their populous. I was provided information on each member from Ms. Hollister with permission to reprint it here.
Representing Latveria is world leader Victor Von Doom ( Doctor Doom ). Doom is the current leader of Latveria but used to be at odds with the Fantastic Four. His participation on the Cabal is one of the least surprising. Representing the United States is Dr. Valerie Cooper, Special Assistant to the President's National Security Adviser. Dr. Cooper has been instrumental on setting up S.315 and overseeing President Osbornâs new programs and initiative. Part of Dr. Cooperâs platform, however, is the danger of mutants and how superhumans can be harmful to the country, which leads some to be uneasy about having her as a representative.
Representing Asgardia is Loki Laufayson, the adopted brother of Avenger Thor Odinson. Laufayson is infamous for attempting to take over New York through the force of the Chitauri during The Battle of New York in 2012. Although apparently redeemed, there were rumors that he was murdered by Thanos in 2018. Laufaysonâs blatant disregard for human life and safety is not something most want to associate the United States with. Laufayson is also acting as a diplomat for Asgardia, but he was not appointed by their King nor does she support him. The only statement that the Valkyrie would make is that âhe is a snake, both literally and figuratively.â Because of this it would appear that Laufaysonâs words hold no power in the country is supposed to be representing.
In a similar position is the representative of New Attilan, Maximus Boltagon. Boltagon is the brother of former King Black Bolt and is known for his madness and attempts to seize the Inhuman throne. When Black Bolt and his wife, Medusalith Amaquelin, stepped away from the throne it was Amaquelinâs sister Crystalia Amaquelin who took over as Queen, effectively passing Maximus over. This comes across as another power play by Boltagon to claim the Inhuman throne. Queen Amaquelin emphasized the fact that the Inhumans have a Royal Diplomatic Party and Boltagonâs participation on the Cabal is not reflective of their stance. Queen Amaquelinâs cousin isnât the only Cabal threat to rule over the Inhuman people though.
Representing the Kree Nation is Ronan the Accuser. Queen Amaquelin made waves with her brief marriage to Pietro Maximoff, twin of the New Avenger Wanda Maximoff, and their daughter marked the first and only mutant-Inhuman born ( the inhomosuperior ). Maximus Boltagon announced recently after Amaquelinâs blowback on his Cabal participation that, âMy darling cousin is, to put it simply, upset and distempered. She feels insecure about her position but with the stress of running our nation - which has nearly been run into the ground - it seemed fitting that I slip into the Cabalâs shoes. Of course, I know there is the additional possibility that she is unable to look outside of her own past emotions and consider her people due to the participation of Ronan. Oh, yes. Thatâs right. Itâs not commonly known but Crystal and Ronan did wed once upon a time. While it did to work out in the traditional sense it was never annulled and likely the reason why she fails to live up to her duties.â A royal representative did not deny the claims that Queen Amaquelin and Ronan had wed but said it was for the sake of alliances and had no continued contact, nor did his presence impact the Queenâs ability to rule. Maximus, who has been admittedly unstable in the past, is currently listed as working against his people although the Cabal does not denounce his actions and the Accuser has only commented on the state of the Kree and not his marital status.
As mentioned in Sally Floydâs front page article, Calâsyee Neramani, the Shiâar known as Deathbird, arrived on Earth with her niece Empress Xandra Neramani. The representative for the Shiâar was announced to be Deathbird, though, Â instead of the young Majestrix or former Majestrix Gladiator ( Kallark ) who had ruled after the death of Xandraâs mother, former Empress Lilandra Neramani. Deathbird and her younger sister had often gone head to head after Deathbird was exiled for matricide but still wished to claim the throne. During her banishment Gladiator became a prominent leader until Xandraâs existence was discovered. The teenaged Empress had been living with an attendant of her mother and her father, Charles Xavier, had not known of her birth. Because the Shiâar believe a Neramani should sit on the throne Xandra was selected as Majestrix over Deathbird, who took on the role of advisor. Following Deathbirdâs participation on the Cabal and Empress Neramaniâs arrest by C.R.A.D.L.E. it looks as if there are cracks in the Shiâar ruling infrastructure. âXandra is our Majestrix,â Gladiator told the Times. âI serve the throne and she is the one who by blood and title deserves to sit there. Deathbirdâs actions have been nothing short of treacherous and while that kind of behavior was endured by Lilandra it should not be by her daughter. We will not tolerate the behavior of Calâsyee. Any stances from the Shiâar will come from the Grand Council. As for the Empresses arrest, we are currently working with the nation of Krakoa to look into the disrespect.â Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and it seems there may be one too many under it in the Shiâar nation.
The most intriguing of the representatives is that of Krakoaâs, however. It came as a surprise to most that the mutant nation would get involved as they have been pushing their  sovereignty and independence. Emma Frost, the White Queen, was announced as the Krakoa representative and brought with her connections to their very exclusive  Hellfire Trading Company, the most recent iteration of the Hellfire Club. Frostâs participation with the Cabal allowed previously denied access to Krakoaâs drugs and medications and the Island stayed mostly silent about her involvement, although inside sources say their Quiet Council was far from pleased. A group of New Avengers and mutants crashed a Cabal meeting last month and Frost was seen getting into an altercation with Katherine Pryde, the X-Men formerly known as Shadowcat who has since become the Red Queen in Frostâs club. The incident involved Pryde apparently breaking Frostâs nose and rendering her unconscious before she was carried out by former flame and partner Scott Summers. In the week following the Hellfire Trading Company released a statement that, âWhile Emma Frost believed she was acting in Krakoaâs best interest it has since been decided that that is not true. Krakoa wishes to have no ties to President  Osbornâs Cabal and the Hellfire Trading Company will no longer dispense petals through it. All trading will resume on the same international level as before. Both Ms Frost and Katherine Pryde are fine, their disagreement a very tiny part of their impressive friendship and partnership.â
It seems that from multiple sides the Cabal may be crumbling. The Shiâar are actively petitioning to have Deathbird removed and Asgardia and New Attilan have made it clear their supposed diplomats do not represent them. The resignation of Emma Frost marks a vacancy in mutant representation but Krakoa is making no moves to fill it. This old reporter has always had his hunches, some of them right and some of them wrong. Power hungry people working together can either lead to two things: domination or a fracturing with the potential to go very, very badly. Sometimes you say âonly time will tellâ, but in this day and age thereâs an ever pervasive feeling that we donât have all that much time before things go wrong.
â Ben Urich, Daily Bugle News Senior Reporter
PETER PARKER: THE WANTED WEBHEAD UMASKED
Peter Parker is Spider-man! As you may have read in my May 25th expose, the Daily Bugle received a hot tip that a photo had been taken of Spider-man maskless. Iâm sorry to report to those who are crushing on our spandex clad wall crawler that Spider-man is actually just a seventeen year old from Forest Hills in Queens, NY. Photos of the teenager in costume were sent to our publication and after verification posted a digital article update on the situation. This comes as a surprise to most, including the Bugle, as the Midtown School of Science and Technology worked as a photography intern for us over the course of the last year and was the inaugural recipient of the Stark Internship in 2015. Due to Tony Starkâs work as Iron Man  it is likely that the deceased hero knew of Parkerâs identity. His Internship now seems like an elaborate cover-up to aid him in dangerous activity instead of a real accomplishment. Bugle Editor J. Jonah Jameson sent out a press release that, âSpider-man is dangerous. Always has been, always will be. The Bugle was not aware of our connection to this deceitful young individual and we renounce any ties to him moving forward. Itâs a shame. A real, crying shame.â
Another connection to Parker is Captain George Stacy, a respected member of the NYPD. It was confirmed by Parkerâs classmates that for the last few months he had been seeing Gwendolyn Stacy, the Captainâs daughter. Although thereâs been no word of how serious the relationship is Captain Stacy has announced that the NYPD will be monitoring the graduations of Standard High were Gwen and President Osbornâs son Harry go and Midtown School of Science and Technology for the safety of Parkerâs classmates. âLeave my daughter out of this.â Captain Stacy ordered. âGwen was just as in the dark as everyone else. Her personal choices are not yours to judge, and if she learns anything about Peter Parkerâs whereabouts it will be reported.â Similarly, the White House issued a statement as Harry Osborn is a known childhood friend of Peter Parkerâs. Secretary Henry Gyrich went on record saying, âMr. Osborn believes, like his father, that America comes first. He is glad that a potential danger has been exposed and hopes Mr. Parker will do the right thing, turn himself in and register soon. The Osborn family will be issuing as no more further statements on the matter as President Osborn has a country to run and Harry needs to focus on preparing for his next stage of life.â
From what we have been able to gather, almost no one knew Parker was Spider-man. We have reached out to his best friend, Ned Leeds, and ex-girlfriend and classmate Michelle Jones for comments but have been advised by the Leedâs family that Ned will not be commenting. So far we have not made contact with Jones aunt, Anna Watson. Calls have been made to Parkerâs legal guardian. May Reilly-Parker, but she has left her Queens residency and been moved to the New Avengers Compound. It is not known if Parker is with her and the Avengers are aiding a fugitive. You can expect to hear updates as soon as  they are released.
â Melita Garner, Daily Bugle News Junior Reporter
June marks graduation season, and the Daily Bugle would like to congratulate this years group of seniors, many of which were victims of the Cleanse. For recognition, Midtown School of Science and Technology submitted senior valedictorians Elizabeth Brant and Michelle Jones. Their original submission included senior Peter Parker for his work with  the Stark Internship, but have requested that his name be removed following the recent revelation of his double life as Spider-man. Standard High would like to recognize senior valedictorian Gwendolyn Stacy, daughter of New York Police Captain George Stacy. Also coming out of Midtown is Harry Osborn, our countryâs first son and the only child of President Norman Osborn. The Bugle congratulates this years graduates and wishes them happy, successful futures.
July 4th marked what would have been the 106th birthday of American hero Steve Rogers. Although our favorite Captain America ( sorry Sam Wilson! ) may have passed away back in 2023 following the fight against Thanos we will always remember the sacrifices he made for this country. Thank you for your service, Cap. We miss you.
High school student Kamala Khan remains in critical condition in an undisclosed hospital in New Jersey. Her parents have said that while Khan has made a lot of progress thereâs still a long way to go. The former Champion and hero known as Ms. Marvel who is believed to be partially responsible is still wanted for questioning and considered at large.