The 97' Lost Star

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde

When she’s calling you as her best friend but you know you aren’t, not because one of you is plastic but.... you just can’t. Being a best friend has more responsibility than just being a friend. Maybe for her, I’m good enough to consider me as the “best” among others but It doesn’t mean that I should call her as my best friend too. We don’t usually hang out but yes, I often come to their house, madalas movie marathon, minsan napapa sleep-over. I’m more comfortable in their house than to her but I don’t want her to feel bad. ayoko din na isipin nia na I only used their place just to have “pampalipas oras” or to be “tambay” lng cuz I know I’m not  (ansama ko ba? sorry na haha) but idk.. bka eto na rin yung ways ko pra makatakas or makapagpahinga nmn sa bagay na nagpapalungkot sa akin. I have my own perspectives for the words, “best friend” and I don’t find her really fit then (sorry not sorry). di ako nagbubuhat ng sariling bangko here but I know, maaasahan nia ako about her problems and secrets (napatunayan ko nmn na) but I’m not that kind of friend na sasamahan sia sa lahat ng lakad or fs nia. I may be a good friend but I can’t be the best for her and every time I heard her calling me bestfriend, Idk what to feel. To feel good because for her I’m good enough or just to feel bad for myself knowing I have only limited to offer. Every time I’ll tempt to talk about it, I feel like all my guts are suddenly disappearing. She’s a good daughter and a friend, idk but when it comes to me, she’s more on “asa” e. “pasama here” “pasama dito”, “patulong here”, “patulong dito” “pagawa neto” like wtf!? kung tulong lng, I can do that, pero ang nangyayare kase ay ako na yung gumagawa madalas and she became more on “asa” na tlga. We’re good but I know there some issues that need to settle. maybe isa na rin to sa mga reasons kung bakit we can’t call each other as bestfriends... may mga bagay na di ko masabi sa kanya. Also, there’s one thing na di ko tlga makakalimutan, some words that came out to her mouth that really fucking hurts my ego.