The end of this year is near by and I want to get this time to reales something from my chest. I feel like I'm gonna use Tumblr as my mind dumpster...
So some of you know that I left and comeback. Or see the gap between the dates I uploaded my drawings. So some of you asked me where I was, why left and why I comeback. Why I was saying they I'm was going to quit art and some other things. Well this have been a rough year, like a rollercoaster. This year started kinda good, I was drawing, having friends, getting my regular fun, etc. Like a normal person. Then 2 months later I started to work at a bar, had more friends, more social life and more fun, but my time for my art were more limited. I stay at that job like 4 or 5 months I guess, there I felt like I should get more fun since I broked my ass working having shifts that ended at 3 or 5 am, so, I felted like If I had more fun would be good, I put my art behind everything and parties in front of everything. My "normal" alcohol and drugs use were increasing week by week, party at party. So my alcoholism were immense and the use for drug it become abuse, started a relationship because I felt lonely with an exadicct who also wanted to have a relationship cause she felt lonely too. Lost my job and try to comeback to my art, but was just for a couple of weeks, then I was again to get drunk all day and consuming drugs all day too, got kicked out of my house and started to live with my girlfriend, them there started to look for a job, but couldn't find anything. My GF was loosing her house too because of me, so I started to sleep on the street, beach or at any of my friends house when I had the chance. I was lost in a town I didn't had family, I have two friends whole helped me a lot, and tried to stop using drugs, I didn't listen and push one of them with me doing the same stupid things. He got kicked from his house by his parents. Did a lot of stupid things, until one day I hit "rock bottom" see myself crying on the streets with a lot of things inside me, my knuckles were smashed and bleeding. Asking for help. My mother helped me and locked on my house to get clean, lost my toxic relationship with my GF, with my toxic friends. I'm facing the end of the year with the head looking up, great friends with me, fixing my relation with my parents gaining their trust again, clean, starting a clothing company with a big friend. In least than a year I went from my regular problems to alcoholism and drug abuse, and finish feeling great with myself, my art, and my life. Was a thought year, would change some things from my past? Sure, but the things I have done, made me the person I am now. Hear the people who care about you and finish toxic relations. I'm happy today, I do have problems, but now I know how fight them. I'm happy. Used to have depression and that pushed me to alcohol and drugs, received help from a doctor, and time to time my depression say hi, but try not to focus on it. I'm ready for the next year, I'm ready to take it punches and say "Is that all you got? I'm still here!" And do my best to have a better year!
If you go through some problems get closer to those who love you, everyone always have at least one person who cares about you, if you think there is not, then open your eyes, is there, you just want to think you are alone. Get help, people studied to give that help. And never trust anyone who gives you drugs on work time.
Thanks for reading this, if you feel alone, I'm here if you need it.
If you want you can hear that song, is in spanish, but look for the english lyrics if there is some, that one is like my life back then was.
