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You're not encouraging harassment of transfems by having people just. Talk about their experiences with unnamed transfems. It's not like you're planning on posting callout docs.

All of this is super overblown and you're getting so much aggression thrown your way and i am sorry you're getting treated this way.

For what it's worth, i appreciate what you're trying to do <3

omg THANK YOU. finally someone gets it. its literally been "i like pancakes" "so you hate waffles" all day and im just staring at my screen like... are we even having the same conversation??

like i have linked people to the tfvp so many times if their story actually fits better there, because obviously that space exists for a reason! i’m not trying to take over everything, i’m just trying to make space for the stuff that’s been shoved under the rug for way too long.

and yeah, exactly!! if people send in stuff with names, @s, or like, creepy amounts of identifying info, i literally just dont post it. like at all. this isnt a callout blog, its not for drama or making callout docs or whatever, it's just... a space for survivors to just be brutally honest about what they went through without being told to shut up because it makes someone look bad. thats it.

personally as a transmasc with a mostly trans circle of friends, ive got some experiences to share

a transfem i knew sexually assaulted a nonbinary person, and she was immediately and resoundingly shut out of every space she'd occupied socially. people reached out to her (retail) job and got her fired, people reached out to her hobby spaces (in another state) and got her removed from them. as far as I'm aware, she retained one friend, who also had SA allegations

on the other hand, I, a transmasc, have been assaulted by not one but two other transmasculine individuals, who faced no consequences.

I got assaulted by a cis guy in college and absolutely nothing happened. He continued to hang around until he started stalking my partner publicly, and THEN administration started to give a shit. only then, though- not when he showed up drunk and screaming outside my window, or anything. Maybe we should be focusing on how cis men STILL face no consequences for raping people, instead of focusing on trans women, who by and large get fucking obliterated from social life unless theyre surrounded by other transfems who happen to also be prison abolitionist, restorative justice, transfeminism-aware people, in which case the matter simply becomes "we shouldn't be threshing this out on fucking Tumblr, good god, social media callouts are not gonna fucking fix this" NOT "no rapist should ever be criticized or face consequences"

I’ve spent the last few hours sitting in front of my laptop trying to find the words for this, but given that I woke up to over 50 asks, the vast majority of which are violent trolls, suicide baiting, or people demanding my deletion, I need to lay everything out openly.

My name is L.

I am queer, intersex, and transneutral. I use he and she pronouns completely interchangeably. I am not a man, and I am not transmasc. If you saw me on the street, I am not someone who "passes" in any direction; I am very visibly trans and very clockable.

I didn't start this blog to be a faceless "discourse account" or a political chess piece. I built this space late last night in the absolute throes of severe, suffocating flashbacks. I am very physically isolated, was drowning in my own trauma, and realizing I had absolutely nowhere in the queer community to safely put my feelings without them being policed.

To go to sleep in that state and wake up to a barrage of notifications telling me to kill myself, calling me an evil monster (sometimes even accusing me of being a rapist myself, which was beyond triggering for me as a survivor), and accusing me of orchestrating a malicious hate campaign simply for wanting a space to talk about intra-community harm... it is heartbreaking. It is a visceral, terrifying confirmation of why this project is necessary. It proves that the second a non-TMA survivor tries to speak about the specific dynamics of coercion they faced, our pain is instantly treated as a political threat, a compliance test, or a joke.

I have received a small handful of genuine, heavy submissions from other survivors who have been silenced for years, and I am deeply grateful for your trust. I will be posting those and responding to what I can as I am able.

But to the people using "go to therapy" as a polite substitute for telling me to die, or the people trying to weaponize my identity against me: I am a real person. I am a heavily traumatized, marginalized person who is currently holding the weight of a massive public dogpile alone in my room.

To the survivors who see what I am trying to do here and have sent notes of solidarity, thank you. Your voices matter, and they will be heard.

ook, i’m not going to lie to you, you’re not wrong.

if i opened the floodgates to everyone, the sheer volume of stories about transfem-on-transfem violence would completely drown out everything else. i’d lose the focus on what i’m trying to highlight—this specific, toxic, "secret rot" of power dynamics where transmasc people are getting pulverized, silenced, and then told we don't exist. if this space just becomes another place for that cycle to repeat, the specific voices i’m trying to pull out of the darkness are just going to get erased all over again.

and honestly? it’s fucking gutting. i know it happens. i’ve watched my friends and my lover go through the absolute worst of it, and it keeps me up at night. it’s harrowing. it’s depressing as hell. if i had to curate a feed that was just a constant, endless scroll of transfems hurting transfems, i don’t know if i’d survive it. it’s already killing me to read what i have to read.

but this project isn't supposed to be a total census of every single abuse case in the entire trans community. if i tried to make it that, it would just collapse under the weight of its own trauma.

I have been thinking about this. Honestly, the reason I haven't opened it up that way is because I am struggling to keep my head above water just trying to get the current project off the ground. Every time I turn around, I am being accused of starting a hate campaign, and I am already so drained by the constant policing of who is allowed to be a victim.

I see the point. Abusers don't respect identity labels, and harm is harm regardless of who is inflicting it. But I also know that if I open that door, the accusations of "bad faith" and "transmisogyny" are just going to get louder, and I don't know if I have the capacity to handle that right now.

t is almost comical that you are asking where the stories are while i am drowning in a constant, relentless deluge of harassment from people who have turned this inbox into a weapon. do you honestly think people feel safe enough to send their stories here when every single minute since I have started the project is a gauntlet of death threats, suicide baiting, and spam from people with too many accounts and way too much time on their hands?

i am not a media outlet. i am a person trying to manage an inbox that is currently being used to silence the very people you claim to be concerned about. i have to wait for submissions, and right now, the signal is being completely overwhelmed by the noise of people like you who are obsessed with making sure this project fails :)

i am not "wallowing." i am documenting the exact process of what happens when a survivor tries to speak up in this community. you see me talking about the consequences of my actions, but you refuse to see that those actions were nothing more than creating a space for people to be heard. if you want to know what the goal is, look at the stories that do manage to break through the spam.

i am not trying to diminish your trauma. i am so, so sorry that you were groomed. that is an agonizing thing to carry, and it is a complete and utter injustice that you were treated that way. you are allowed to be angry. you are allowed to want a space to speak.

but look at the way you are framing this. you are asking why your voice "matters less" because i have a specific scope for this project, and you are immediately jumping to the conclusion that it is because i am participating in some system of valuing one identity over another. do you see how you are taking my limited capacity—my actual, physical, mental, and financial inability to be everything to everyone—and turning it into a moral indictment of my character?

i created this project because i saw a very specific, very lethal silence being enforced. i saw people who were being told that their abuse didn't count, that their reality was a lie, and that their survival was an act of hate. i am one person. i am a disabled, broken human being who is barely scraping by. i am not an institution. i am not a political organization. i am a person who tried to build a bunker for a group of people who are being hunted out of every other room.

when you compare this to "transmisogyny valuing TME voices," you are completely ignoring the fact that this blog is being treated as a site of political warfare. the very existence of this space is being used to frame me as a monster. if i were to open this up to every single person who has been hurt by anyone who fits into a specific identity box, i would lose the ability to focus on the specific, unique, and highly localized form of gaslighting that this project is meant to counter.

it is not about whose voice matters "more." it is about the fact that different traumas require different types of containment and support. if you went to a support group specifically for survivors of alcoholic parents, and you stood up and demanded they cater to your trauma of having sober parents, they wouldn't tell you your trauma doesn't matter. they would tell you that you are in the wrong room.

i am not going to turn this space into a universal, catch-all repository for every queer trauma, because that is how you ensure that no one gets the specific help they actually need. you are hurt, and you are projecting that hurt onto me as if i am the one standing in your way. i am not your enemy. i am just trying to keep the lights on in this one room, for these people, right now.

i literally didn't.

i modeled the layout and the general structural framework after that project because it was an existing, functional template for a survivor submission blog on this website. i was having a severe trauma relapse and wanted to set up a similar space for people who went through what i went through. mirroring a format is not "copy-pasting an intro."

i am literally so tired of explaining basic definitions to people who just want to find a reason to hate me.

the project is called trans masc voices because it centers the voices of transmasculine people who have been silenced. but the reality of the situation(and the reason this blog has to exist!) is that the dynamic of silencing isn't limited exclusively to trans men when the abuser is transfeminine. if a cis man is in a queer relationship and is abused by a transfem partner, he is met with the exact same wall of "don't talk about it, you're just being a bigot" from the community. he faces the exact same gaslighting. he faces the exact same fear that his trauma will be turned into a political weapon against him.

if you think a project designed to break a cycle of silence is a "psyop" because it acknowledges that cis people can also be victims of abuse within queer spaces, then you have fundamentally misunderstood what abuse is. abuse doesn't care about your identity labels, and it doesn't wait for your permission to happen.

do you understand why it would be bigoted to "draw awareness" to specifically transfems committing violence against any non-transfem? that it frames transfems as uniquely dangerous? that society is doing that to us every moment of every day?

if TME means "everyone in the world who isn't transfem," then why is it that TMAs only ever seem to deploy the term in reference to other trans and queer people?

when people in our community use TMA/TME framing, they aren't using it to talk about cisgender heteronormative abusers. they use it specifically to navigate intra-community dynamics, lateral oppression, and structural power balances inside the queer community. you don't call a cis het man "TME" when he commits violence; you call him a cis man. this term is actively used to differentiate experiences among trans people, so turning around and changing the definition now just to police how a transneutral person defines their own peer-support space is completely disingenuous.

furthermore, i am not framing anyone as "uniquely dangerous." pointing out a specific axis of intra-community harm (modeled exactly after existing spaces meant to address the inverse dynamic) is not an assertion of unique predatory nature. it is addressing a specific context where accountability has completely broken down.

I'd like to start a small project raising awareness of sexual assault, coercion, harassment, and other similar behaviors toward trans women and others TMA (transmisogyny affected) by people TME (transmisogyny exempt)

I find that our experiences are far too often ignored, belittled, or even used against us, and I'd like to see a future where we can speak up about what we've been through and actually be met with the support and resources we need to heal from or escape sexually coercive situations

I want to invite trans women and others TMA who feel comfortable doing so to discuss their experiences in my askbox, anonymously or not, and I will post them (unless asked not to in the body of the ask) under the tag "#transfem voices project"

Additional important info:

Risks: There is always the possibility of the tag being used to find transfems to harass, and this is something you may be vulnerable to if you choose to submit non-anonymously

Deletion info: If you submit anonymously, please note that neither you or I have any way of verifying who actually sent the ask once it's up, and as such, I have no way of verifying who you are if you reach out and ask that I delete it. As I want to ensure that no bad faith actors can silence our stories, I err on the side of not deleting them once they're up, so please do keep this in mind! Additionally, please be aware that independent archiving efforts may exist, so it would be difficult to have your submission truly removed from the internet

If you do want to be able to delete later: You can send the text of your ask in my DMs before putting it in my askbox. Then, wait to send it into my askbox until I reply to your DM. This will allow me to verify later that the post is yours if you want to have it deleted. I will not reveal your identity to anyone, but even so, please feel free to use a throwaway sideblog for additional privacy if you like

Reblogging info: I will leave posts rebloggable unless asked not to by the asker, so anyone who wants to spread awareness should feel free to reblog

Those who may find these posts triggering should feel free to block the tag

I will mark all posts mature to adhere to Tumblr's guidelines

I will sometimes add additional content warning tags to some posts where they become relevant

This project has no planned end date. I intend to keep taking submissions as long as I'm physically able, so hopefully no one feels rushed to contribute! You're free to take your time 💖

Some reasons a submission may not be posted:

I cannot post an anonymous submission if it includes some kind of clear identifier attempting to attribute it to a specific person, unless you DM me to verify that it's you. I have had a few submissions with the username of a transfem who has been widely harassed added to the end like this: "-(username)", and I do not post them because they could be an attempt to further harass her

Similarly, I cannot post a submission that names a specific other transfem, even if said transfem is only mentioned in passing or is not described doing anything harmful

I try to queue roughly half of all submissions, while the other half I post when I see them. This is to space out submissions so that hopefully nobody's gets buried. If I'm posting others but yours isn't up yet, it may just be in the queue!

I'd like to start a small project raising awareness of sexual assault, coercion, harassment, and other similar behaviors toward trans men and others TME (transmisogyny exempt) by people TMA (transmisogyny affected).

I find that our experiences are far too often ignored, belittled, or even used against us, and I'd like to see a future where we can speak up about what we've been through and actually be met with the support and resources we need to heal from or escape sexually coercive situations.

I want to invite trans men and others TME who feel comfortable doing so to discuss their experiences in my askbox, anonymously or not, and I will post them (unless asked not to in the body of the ask) under the tag "#transmasc voices project"

Additional important info:

Risks: There is always the possibility of the tag being used to find transmascs to harass, and this is something you may be vulnerable to if you choose to submit non-anonymously.

Deletion info: If you submit anonymously, please note that neither you or I have any way of verifying who actually sent the ask once it's up, and as such, I have no way of verifying who you are if you reach out and ask that I delete it. As I want to ensure that no bad faith actors can silence our stories, I err on the side of not deleting them once they're up, so please do keep this in mind! Additionally, please be aware that independent archiving efforts may exist, so it would be difficult to have your submission truly removed from the internet.

If you do want to be able to delete later: You can send the text of your ask in my DMs before putting it in my askbox. Then, wait to send it into my askbox until I reply to your DM. This will allow me to verify later that the post is yours if you want to have it deleted. I will not reveal your identity to anyone, but even so, please feel free to use a throwaway sideblog for additional privacy if you like.

Reblogging info: I will leave posts rebloggable unless asked not to by the asker, so anyone who wants to spread awareness should feel free to reblog.

Those who may find these posts triggering should feel free to block the tag.

I will mark all posts mature to adhere to Tumblr's guidelines.

I will sometimes add additional content warning tags to some posts where they become relevant.

This project has no planned end date. I intend to keep taking submissions as long as I'm physically able, so hopefully no one feels rushed to contribute! You're free to take your time 💙

Some reasons a submission may not be posted:

I cannot post an anonymous submission if it includes some kind of clear identifier attempting to attribute it to a specific person, unless you DM me to verify that it's you.

Similarly, I cannot post a submission that names a specific other transmasc, even if said transmasc is only mentioned in passing or is not described doing anything harmful.

I will try to queue roughly half of all submissions, while the other half I plan to post when I see them. This is to space out submissions so that hopefully nobody's gets buried. If I'm posting others but yours isn't up yet, it may just be in the queue!