Mj

You used your fork to swirl your food around your plate, dining hall food not very appealing to you at the moment. Across from you sat your friends, chatting cheerily. 

You felt deja vu. 

“y/n, what do you think?” 

Your head snapped up, gaze moving away from your uneaten food. “Hm?” 

“About grad photos. Have you bought a dress yet?” 

“Oh, no, not yet. I need to find some time to go shopping.” 

“You should come with us! We’re going this weekend,” Soomin said. 

“Yeah, totally! It would be so fun with you there,” added Mina. 

You smiled softly. “Okay. I’m free, I think.” 

“If you can pull yourself away from your studying, that is,” Soomin grinned. 

“I can!” You exclaimed, defensive. “I will. I’ll go.” 

The girls giggled and continued to chat about upcoming graduation preparations. 

You’d known Soomin and Mina for a while, but they’d always just been friendly acquaintances who you’d shared a few classes with. Recently, though, you’d been trying to make time in your life for more than just school. No more constant studying—though there was still a lot of studying—no more bad friends, no more hurting yourself because of other people’s opinions. 

Well, you were trying. Most of that was Chan’s words, paraphrased. The things he made sure you knew whenever you were having a particularly difficult day; that you deserved love. That you needed to treat yourself well because you deserved to feel well. 

You still had trouble believing it. But you were getting there. 

“Hey, y/n, you okay? You’re kind of quiet,” Mina asked. 

You blinked, looking at her. You’d zoned out again.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.” 

“Are you feeling okay? You haven’t eaten much,” said Soomin. Three pairs of eyes looked down at your messy but otherwise untouched plate. 

“I feel fine, just… bad dining hall food today,” you lied lamely. 

“We could go somewhere else, if you want. Oh, I think the cafe by the freshman dorms is open, and I’ve heard they have great paninis!” 

It was jarring, how completely opposite your new friends were from your old ones. 

“No, really, it’s fine. I’m not hungry,” you said. When the silence lasted a second too long, you changed the subject. “So, are you guys going to the TriDelt party tonight?” 

You smiled as Mina launched into a long rant about not knowing what to wear and Soomin explained that she needed to impress a specific frat boy, laughing at their antics.

Yeah, you felt deja vu, but in a good way. Because although the situation was similar, it was also different. Better. 

–

Chan sat on the floor of the dance studio, back resting against the mirror. The other boys sat around him in various states on the floor, recovering from a particularly tiring practice. As he sipped his water, he thought about you. He was always thinking about you now. 

He wanted to be around you all the time. You were so gorgeous, so kind, so perfect—he couldn’t stand the thought of you ever being in pain or feeling bad in any way. He wanted to protect you from all of it. He hated that you both had such busy schedules. If he had his way, you two would be together all the time. 

You were doing better now, though. He was pretty sure of it. He tried his best to help you through everything, to reassure you how great you were and not let you fall back into your old habits. He couldn’t be with you all the time, though. Thankfully, he had something to help him with that—assistance from the soulmate bond.

He felt hungry. Not in his stomach, though. Somewhere past that, somewhere further inside him, something intangible. It was you.

After the body switching stopped, the soulmate bond turned into something else. A connection. Chan could feel your feelings sometimes, whenever you felt something strong. He could tell when you were feeling particularly bad or good, and he could tell when you hadn’t eaten enough. That was the most common one. 

He pulled out his phone and sent you a text.

–

When you returned to your apartment an hour later, your stomach rumbled lightly. You hadn’t eaten since breakfast this morning, and now it was almost five. As if Chan could sense it, you received a text from him not a minute later. 

Channie

hey baby, have you eaten yet today? 

y/n

are you a witch

Channie

no

I’m your soulmate

answer me please

y/n

not since breakfast…

Channie

babyyy you need to eat 

come over!

we have the afternoon off and Minhos making something that smells really good

y/n

hmm I feel like he wouldn’t be happy for me to steal his food

Channie

baby trust me he would be so happy

please come over

I want to see you

y/n

okay coming!

Really, Chan seemed to have a sixth sense these days about your eating habits, and your emotions as a whole. Whenever you were feeling particularly bad or went for too long without eating, he somehow always knew and texted you to check in. You wondered if it actually was the soulmate bond, just manifesting in a different way now that you no longer were switching bodies. 

To be honest, you did feel a little different recently—soft, background feelings of happiness and warmth or an odd spike of anxiety for seemingly no reason. The tired droop of your eyes even after you’d gotten a full nights’ sleep—there was a lot of that. It would make sense if that came from the soulmate bond. 

You grabbed your phone and keys, slipped on your shoes, and left your apartment. 

When you arrived at Chan’s dorm, your knock was answered by Jisung, whose face lit up immediately. 

“y/n!” He exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. “I haven’t seen you in so long!”

You chuckled, returning the hug and letting Jisung lead you into the dorm. “I saw you two weeks ago, Ji.”

“Yeah, well that was two weeks too long,” he replied, walking down the hall to the kitchen. Although it was Chan and Jeongin’s dorm, it seemed that everyone had gathered for their afternoon off. Your arrival was greeted with many cheers. 

It was quite a domestic scene. Minho was at the stove, apron on with a spatula in his hand. It seemed he’d roped a few of the boys into helping him, Felix chopping vegetables on the counter and Hyunjin washing dishes. Jeongin, Seungmin, and Changbin sat around the kitchen island, talking loudly about something that happened in rehearsal today so that everyone could hear over the sizzle of the pan.

You loved these boys. You’d been able to hang out with them a lot ever since you met Chan in person, and they were like a second family to you now. Or, really, a first family, considering you hadn’t spoken to your parents since that disastrous holiday break a few months ago. 

They were so kind and welcoming, always happy to have you over and including you in everything they did. They’d said once that since Chan was their Dad, you were their Mom. They didn’t seem to care when you’d pointed out that a good few of them were older than you. 

“Where’s Chan?” you asked, noticing that he was the only one missing from the group. 

“Right here,” he said, appearing from a doorway at that exact moment. He smiled at you, pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head. “Hey, baby,” he said. “I’m happy you’re here.”

You pulled back so you could look into his adorable boba eyes. “Well, I could never pass up the opportunity to see my favorite person.” 

Around you, your audience let out a varying array of gags and ‘ew’s. “Get a room!” One of them yelled. 

Chan laughed and pulled away, walking over to Minho to help serve up the now-finished meal. “Okay, everyone sit, food’s ready,” he announced. The boys helped set the table and sat down, leaving a spot for you next to Chan. 

Meals with the eight idols were a very lively occasion. There were always at least two different conversations going on at once, and usually at least one fight broke out at some time during the meal. Today, it was over a new drama Jisung and Felix were watching. 

“She deserved to be cheated on, after that stunt she pulled in episode three–” 

“Excuse me? She’s allowed to be mad, he got with her best friend–” 

“–who cares, it’s good for character development–” 

“–blackmail isn’t even that bad–!” 

You laughed, quietly finding entertainment in the boys’ antics. You took a bite of your meal. On the other side of the table, Changbin was explaining his gym schedule in extreme detail, trying to convince someone to join him after dinner. 

The liveliness helped. You’d never really experienced something like this before. Your family dinners were always quiet, just you and your parents, awkward and uncomfortable and filled with boring stories and neighborhood gossip. At school, meals with your friends weren’t much better because even if the topics were more interesting, you still always felt out of place, on the outside of the group. 

Chan made sure you never felt like that with him. Whenever he could feel you pulling away, he was quick to notice and bring you back. Like right now. You’d gotten lost in your thoughts, but Chan saw it and placed his hand in yours, fingers intertwining and grounding you back to reality. Warmth flowed through you—another effect of the soulmate bond. It was hard to fully grasp, but whenever you were with Chan, you just felt better. Safe.

You smiled at him softly, and he squeezed your hand in return. You took another few bites of your food. 

“y/n, are you gonna stay for movie night?” Asked Jeongin hopefully. His eyes sparkled, so much so that you couldn’t say no, even when the thought of studying crossed your mind. Studying could wait. 

“Sure, if you’ll have me,” you replied. The boys cheered. 

After dinner was all cleaned up, everyone squeezed onto the couch for the movie. You found your place curled up next to Chan, your head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around your waist. Barely twenty minutes into the movie you were drifting off, lulled by the calming feeling of Chan’s skin against yours. 

You woke up some time later to the sound of quiet voices and shuffling feet. You blinked open your eyes, feeling the fabric of Chan’s shirt against your face. 

“Is y/n asleep?” Hyunjin asked.

“Yeah,” Chan replied, hushed. “Out like a light. She must’ve been really tired.” 

You let your eyes drift shut again as you kept listening, still half-asleep. 

You heard a soft chuckle from Hyunjin. “You’re one to talk.” 

Chan didn’t reply to that. Then, another voice, this one Changbin’s. “Yeah, you’re not going to the studio tonight?” 

Chan hummed. “Not tonight. I just want to stay with y/n.” 

“Wow, that’s a first—” Changbin was cut off by what you assumed was someone’s elbow, as you heard him let out a small ‘oof.’ 

“Okay, get out. Before you wake her up, please,” Chan demanded.

The boys laughed but obliged, and you heard the door open and close. 

Chan used his hand on your waist to pull you closer to him and moved his other hand to gently card through your hair. 

“‘Night, baby,” he whispered.

You fell back asleep. 

–

You woke up to the sound of your daily alarm, which you quickly shut off in an attempt not to wake up Chan. As you reached for your phone, you noticed the position the two of you were in had shifted sometime while you slept. You were horizontal now, Chan laying flat on the couch and you on top of him, face slid into the crook of his neck. His arms were wrapped around you possessively, one curled around your hips and the other on your back, palm splayed flat on your spine. 

You were so comfortable. You felt so warm, so safe. But you had to get up. You needed to get back to your apartment to get ready for your first class. 

You attempted to extricate yourself from Chan’s grasp, which was no easy task. As you started to pull away, Chan stirred, groaning and using his grip on your hips to pull you back into him. 

“Don’t go,” he murmured, voice low and rough from sleep. 

“‘m sorry, Channie,” you said, attempting once more to stand up. “I have to get ready for class.” This time, he begrudgingly let you up. 

He pouted at you, and you pouted right back. “I’ll see you soon, okay? I’ll text you,” you told him, gathering your items and smoothing the wrinkles out of your outfit. “Love you.” 

“Love you too, baby. Get home safe, yeah?” He said, pulling you towards him on the couch to fix some sticking-out strands of hair. You smiled at him. 

“Yeah. Bye.” 

–

After you left, Chan began to get ready for his own day. He noted the unusual lightness of his eyes and went through his morning routine much quicker than normal. Odd. 

He felt good today. He chatted with the boys on the car ride to the building, lively, and went through his schedule. Dance practice, vocal lessons, producer meetings—his day went much the same as usual, but it was less tiring. The boys noticed. 

“Chan, what’s up with you today?” Asked Felix in the middle of dance rehearsal. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You just… have a lot of energy today. It’s great,” he clarified, not wanting to give the wrong idea. Chan hummed in acknowledgment.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“...Okay.” 

At vocal lessons, Chan was finally able to hit a high note that he’d been shaky on for a while. “Great work!” His teacher complimented, “much better than last time.” 

At the production meeting, he had no trouble focusing and getting a lot of work done. Jisung and Changbin were confused by his unusual behavior. By now, his eyes were usually drooping and he would get the tiniest bit more snappy at the boys and frustrated when he hit a block. That wasn’t happening today. 

“Chan, are you sure you didn’t do anything this morning? Have an extra cup of coffee or eat a good breakfast or something?” Changbin asked.

“I’m sure, Bin,” he replied. “I don’t know why you guys are acting so weird with me today.” 

Really, he’d done nothing different. He was just having a good day. That was it. 

–

A few hours and one very eventful class later, you were walking across campus to your next class, laughing with your friends. 

“–and then, when he noticed Donghyun was sleeping, he hit his desk with the textbook to wake him and it was so loud!” Mina explained through giggles.

“Oh my god, no he did not,” Soomin gasped.

“He did!” You added, “It sounded like a gunshot. Donghyun was terrified.” 

“Ugh, I wish I was in that class with you. It sounds so fun,” Soomin said. 

“Yeah, Professor Lee is hilarious. He’s like, eighty, and he’s always going on these long rants about his rowdy neighbors or some fight he’s having with his wife.” 

“It’s very entertaining,” you said. 

The three of you continued chatting as you walked to your next class, one you all shared. You took your usual seats at the side of the lecture hall, almost ten minutes early. That was a new record. 

Your phone buzzed against the wooden desk loudly. You picked it up and it lit up with a message from the group chat maknaes + mom!!! 

You’d been added to it a few weeks ago when the maknae line wanted to ask you a question “without the judgement of their hyungs.” Things had progressed from there. 

Sungie

Y/N

WHAT DID U DO TO CHAN LAST NIGHT

y/n

what?

Sungie

he is in such a good mood today like weirdly good

did something happen last night?

WAIT IF ITS SEXUAL I DON’T WANT TO KNOW

y/n

I’m quite confused

I did nothing last night except sleep 

Lixie

yeah he is actually pretty lively today

Minnie

It’s weird

y/n

well I don’t know what to tell u guys

we literally fell asleep as soon as you guys left after the movie

Sungie

wait.

we? as in, you AND chan?

you and CHAN fell asleep at a normal time last night? 

Minnie

holy shit

y/n

I’m still confused

why is this so surprising 

Innie

Chan’s a major insomniac

Sungie

insomniac and workaholic, actually

diabolical combo

y/n

oh yes I know this

I didn’t think it was really that bad, though? 

Lixie

well like its not great but there’s really nothing to do abt it

he’d never listen if we told him to stop working lol 

y/n

well it must be bad if he’s like very noticeably different after a single good night of sleep

Innie

You shouldn’t worry about it y/n!

We didn’t mean to make you worry

Sungie

yah I just thought it was funny

oh I think we need to go back to rehearsal now

y/n

okay

I think my class is going to start now, too

Lixie

bye y/n have fun in class!

Sungie

byeee 

Innie

bye! 

Minnie

👋

y/n

have fun in rehearsal!

You tucked your phone into your bag just as your teacher walked into the room, preparing to start the class. Your friends looked at you curiously, wondering about silent texting, but they looked away when the teacher started talking. 

You listened and dutifully took notes, but you couldn’t stop your thoughts from drifting back to Chan. 

You hadn’t realized that his insomnia was that bad, nor his overworking. You knew it existed, of course; every stray kids fan knew that about Chan, and it’s not like he hid it from you when he texted you from the studio every night. Still, stupidly, you hadn’t really thought into it any more than that. You’d just… ignored it. 

God, what kind of a soulmate were you? Chan helped you work through your huge array of problems, but you couldn’t even be bothered to notice his? That’s horrible. 

You needed to do something. You just weren’t sure what. 

–

You thought a lot about what to do for Chan.

You didn’t think that just text reminders would be good enough. Chan had tried that for you back when you were still switching, and you’d just lied to him. You were sure that if this was really a problem, a few texts wouldn’t be enough to fix anything. 

You also didn’t want to be too direct. You didn’t want him to get defensive, because then he wouldn’t say anything. You needed to be subtle.

And yes, maybe all of this was you projecting because this is how you would act if you were Chan, but you weren’t going to think about that. You were just going to try to help him. 

So today, when it was one in the morning (you were up doing homework) and you felt a tug somewhere inside you, a sense of exhaustion that didn’t feel like yours, you knew it was time to act. 

You pulled out your phone, navigating to Chan’s name on findmyiphone. Yep, he was still at the studio. 

You grabbed your keys and jacket and left your apartment. 

You’d been to Chan’s studio a couple times before to visit, bring snacks, or just hang out, so you knew how to get in. You knew the code, too, but you knocked anyway, not wanting to completely intrude if he was in the middle of something. He didn’t answer. You knocked again, same thing. This time, you punched in the code.

Chan was sitting at his desk, headphones on, a track lit up on his computer screen. He hadn’t heard you come in, music playing loudly in his ears. As non-startlingly as you could, you walked up behind him and brushed your hand over his shoulder. He turned around, eyes lighting up when he saw you. He took his headphones off and paused the track on his computer.

“Hey, baby,” he said, voice low and quiet. You could hear his exhaustion. “What are you doing here?” 

–

Chan sat hunched over his desk, tired eyes focused on the computer screen in front of him. It was late and he was tired, but he couldn’t stop now. He’d gotten so much work done today, and now he was in a groove. He couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Jisung and Changbin had left hours ago, but he was still here.

It’s not like going home would help, anyway. He wouldn’t be able to fall asleep if he tried. Not without you. He’d always had trouble sleeping, but for some reason, it was so much easier with you around. Something about the comfort of having you next to him and the calming sensation from the soulmate bond lulled him to sleep. 

He couldn’t have you all the time, though. You had your own life, you were just as busy as him, and you didn’t have the time to be putting him to sleep every night. Not that he’d want that, anyway; as much as he loved the feeling of not being tired, work was too important. He stayed late at the studio so often for a reason; there was always work to get done. 

His eyes drooped as he continued working, but he ignored it. Still, his thoughts kept going back to you. He wanted to see you. 

As if you’d read his mind, he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Your hand. He turned, seeing it was you, and broke into a wide but tired smile. “Hey, baby. What are you doing here?” As he spoke, he raised his hands to place them on your waist, pulling you towards him.

One thing about Chan was that he was very touchy. Not in a weird way. He just really liked to be near you, to be against you. Part of it was probably the soulmate bond, the calm warmth the both of you felt whenever you touched. But he was also protective of you. He liked having you in his arms because then, he could be sure you were safe.

“I was up doing homework, and… I could tell that you were up, too,” you said. Instead of replying, Chan just pulled you closer to him. Except, you were already as close as you could get, so the force had you falling onto his lap, knees straddling his, bodies pressing against each other. He tucked his head into the crook of your neck, breathing softly against your skin. God, he just loved being near you.

“Channie?” You asked, one hand moving to rest on his shoulder, the other brushing through his hair soothingly. “Are you alright?” 

He let out a hum into your neck before lifting his head. “Yeah. Sorry, just missed you. And tired,” he said. The contact with you was already making him start to drift off. 

“Well that makes sense, it’s past one in the morning. You need to go home, Chan.” 

“No,” he groaned. “I have so much work to do. Can’t go home yet.” As much as he loved being with you, there was still more work to be done. 

You sighed, fingers still idly playing with his hair. “Channie, you need to rest. You work too much.” 

At that, Chan became more alert. He unwound his arms from around you and met your eyes. “Baby, you know I have a lot of work to do. This is my job,” he said. “I appreciate you checking up on me, but really, I’m fine.” He didn’t want to push you away, really, but he knew if you stayed any longer you would be able to convince him to stop. And he really couldn’t stop. 

“You sound like me,” you joked, voice quiet. Chan could sense the sadness in it. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” you replied. “It’s just… I was texting some of the boys, and they made it seem like you–” 

Chan groaned. “The boys are telling on me now? I’ve told them that I’m fine. Seriously, I can’t do anything–” 

“No, sorry, I’m sorry. They were just joking, and I got worried. I’m sorry,” you blurted, looking down at your lap. Chan was aware that he was being a bit shorter than usual—it was the exhaustion getting to him. He noticed immediately that his tone had sent you into apology mode, a reflex you’d developed from your childhood. Shit, he didn’t mean to do that. 

Chan’s eyes softened. He reached a hand up to tilt your face back towards him. “No, baby, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I just have a lot of work to do, okay?” 

“Okay,” you said, forcing a smile. 

“I promise there’s no need for you to worry. I work a lot, but I can take care of myself. It’s nothing you need to be worried about,” he explained. 

“Okay, Channie,” you repeated. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” You climbed out of his lap, re-adjusting your clothes. 

Chan’s headphones were already halfway back to his ears. “Bye, baby. Get home safe.” 

You closed the door behind you with a soft click. 

–

That weekend, you went shopping with Mina and Soomin. The outing was supposed to be for grad dresses, but you got carried away. You ended up buying much more than just a dress—the three bags dangling from your arms was proof of that. Your friends looked much the same. 

“y/n, you’ve seemed pretty off this week. Is everything okay?” Soomin asked as the three of you walked to your last store. 

“Um, yeah. Why?” You asked.

“You just seem like something’s on your mind.” 

You paused. Your new friends were much more perceptive than you were used to. 

You supposed you could tell them what was bothering you, as long as you managed to keep Chan’s identity a secret while you did. Maybe they could give you some advice. 

“Well, there actually is something that’s been bothering me. It’s about my boyfriend,” you said hesitantly. 

Mina gasped. “Wait, the boyfriend that you won’t tell us anything about? You’re finally gonna give us more info?” She was almost squealing with joy. You’d had to tell them that you had a boyfriend a few weeks ago when they noticed you were often texting and when you couldn’t make plans with them because you were hanging out with him. You’d kept it to the bare minimum.

“Hey, I told you things! You know… um, you know his name,” you said.

“Yeah, and that’s it. Chris,” Soomin replied. “So, tell us!” 

You took a breath. “Okay, well lately, I’ve been feeling like Chris is overworking himself. He doesn’t sleep much and spends way too much time at work, but when I tried to talk to him about it, he just told me that he’s fine. And he has, like, a high position at his job so he says it's necessary for him to be working all the time. But I’m worried about him.” You hoped you were being ambiguous enough. 

“So you talked to him about it and he just brushed you off?” Asked Mina.

“No, no, it wasn’t… well, I guess you could call it a brush off. He just told me not to worry. He can be pretty convincing.” 

“Well if you’re getting the feeling that it’s a problem, then it probably is. I think you really need to talk to him, y/n. Don’t let him brush you off,” said Soomin.

“Yeah, just be firm. Let him know you care. I’m sure he’ll listen,” added Mina. 

“Thanks, guys,” you said. They were right. You just needed to talk to Chan and not let him send you away or change the subject. Or distract you by pulling you into his lap and cuddling you. That was very distracting. 

As the three of you turned a corner, you heard familiar voices. Unsettlingly familiar. 

“–and Nari, when I tell you that this girl’s makeup was like three shades lighter than her actual skin color–”

You froze as high pitched peals of laughter invaded your ears. You hadn’t heard those voices in weeks, not since Chan had taken your phone and blocked both of their contacts, telling you it was “for the best.” You’d agreed with him, especially after you’d realized just how much better you felt without them constantly putting you down. 

You weren’t ready to confront them. Ghosting was the best you could do, because you could not talk to them face to face by yourself. You knew they would win, they would get to you. They always won. 

Mina and Soomin, seeing you had stopped walking, turned to see what was wrong. Before they could say anything, Nari and Jiyeon noticed you. 

“y/n!” Jiyeon gasped, a smile lighting up her features. A horrible, fake smile that barely concealed her contempt for you. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” 

You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t. 

“Oh, y/n!” Nari echoed. “Wow, you look different.” You knew that ‘different’ was code for ‘worse.’

You still stood, frozen. You didn’t know what to say. Soomin and Mina walked up next to you. 

“y/n, who’s this?” Soomin asked, suspicion laced in her voice. It seemed she’d noticed the implication. Mina took your hand reassuringly. Then, you felt a buzz in your pocket, coming from your phone. Somehow, you knew it was Chan texting to check in on you, concerned about the spike of anxiety you were sure he’d felt when you saw the girls. 

All of a sudden, you realized that you weren’t alone. Not at all, actually. Soomin was to one side of you, looking like she was ready to fight Jiyeon and Nari. On your other side, Mina’s eyes were on you, filled with compassion. And Chan was away at work, yet he still checked in on you the moment he felt something was wrong.

You weren’t alone. You had people who cared about you, who were on your side. You could do this. 

“Hi, guys,” You greeted, putting on a fake smile of your own. “Thanks, yeah, I’ve been trying out a new clothing style recently. I’m glad you noticed.” 

You saw Nari’s smile twitch, but she didn’t correct you. 

“y/n, you haven’t been replying to my texts,” Jiyeon pouted, though you could tell she wasn’t joking. “What’s up?” 

You took a steadying breath, then: “Yeah, that’s because I was sick of the way you treated me.” 

Chan’s words echoed in your mind, back from that first time you’d seen him in person. “The way they spoke to you made me sick.” 

“You weren’t good friends. You hurt me.” 

“They hurt you, y/n. I can’t stand the fact that they call you their friend when they treat you so badly.” 

“So I blocked you,” you said, voice shaky but you pushed through. “And I’m not your friend.” 

“You need to cut them off. It’s for the best.” 

Jiyeon and Nari stood stock-still, staring at you in shock. They weren’t used to you speaking your mind, or really speaking up at all. You were glad to have gotten under their skin. Stressed the fuck out because speaking up for yourself like that was terrifying, but glad. Proud. You could tell Soomin and Mina were proud, too. You could see their matching grins in your peripheral vision. 

Jiyeon scoffed. “Well, fuck you too, then,” she said, storming off. Nari was hot on her heels. 

Your friends immediately burst into laughter. 

“Oh my god, the look on her face!” 

“That was so satisfying!” 

You let out a laugh, then another. Soon, you were laughing so hard that tears were falling from your eyes. You felt a bit insane, but also good. You never realized how good it felt to stand up for yourself. You should do it more often. 

The rest of your shopping trip went smoothly. 

When you got home, you remembered Chan’s text. 

Channie

hey baby, you okay?

He hadn’t sent anything else since. He probably felt your anxiety go away and was reassured. 

y/n

sorry, just saw this

yes I’m ok but I just saw Jiyeon and Nari at the mall

Channie

oh shit

are you okay? did they say anything? 

do you need me to come over

y/n

I’m ok actually

but I would like to see u if you’re not too busy :)

Channie

okay baby I’m omw

When you started dating Chan, you always felt bad when you asked him to come over or hang out. You felt selfish, like you were pulling him away from his work and friends. He tried to convince you that you could ask him to hang out any time you wanted. Still, you were always a bit hesitant. Until now. 

Now, you wanted to pull him away from his work. That’s the goal. 

He showed up twenty minutes later and promptly deposited himself on your couch, reaching out his arms in your direction. You laughed and dutifully sat down next to him, curling up against his body. 

“So baby, tell me about what happened today.” 

“Oh my god, you won’t believe it,” you said.

You told him everything, about how you stood up for yourself and the look on their faces when you did. Chan pulled you closer into him. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he murmured in your ear. 

A surge of confidence and pride ran through you, both from your actions and the fact that Chan was proud of you, too. 

You needed to talk to him now. While you still had the nerve.

“Chan,” you said, “there’s something I want to talk to you about.” 

“Okay,” he replied, curious. 

“It’s about the other day. In the studio, when you told me not to worry about you,” you started. Chan let out a small ‘mhm,’ which you took as a cue to continue. “I am worried. Because I don’t actually think you’re fine.” 

“Baby, really–”

“No, Chan, please. I can feel you through the soulmate bond just like I know you can feel me. You’re tired and stressed and you try to act like it's nothing but I know you, Chan. You think your problems are your own, just like me. But you helped me, so let me help you.” 

Chan was silent for a few seconds. You had no idea how he was going to respond. 

“You’re right,” he said finally. “I just don’t want anyone to worry about me, not when everyone else already has so much on their plate.” You were sure he was talking about the boys. He’d done a very good job of keeping it from them—even though they all knew he worked too much and slept too little, he still somehow convinced them that it wasn’t a big problem. Impressive, really. 

“I’m your soulmate, Chan. This is what I’m here for. You can let me help you; I want you to.” 

Chan sighed, then smiled. “I don’t deserve you, baby.” 

“Excuse me? If anything, I don’t deserve you.” 

“Maybe we deserve each other,” Chan hedged, pulling you closer. 

“Yeah.” You leaned into his touch. 

You sat in comfortable silence for a while, happy just to be in each other’s presence. 

“y/n?” Chan asked suddenly.

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.” 

You pulled back an inch to look at him. He was so beautiful here; no makeup, comfy clothes, just warm and domestic and looking at you like you hung the moon. “I love you too.” 

Chan gently brought a hand to cup your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss. Your lips connected, the feeling of the soulmate bond thrumming through you. With his plush lips against yours, you felt whole. Correct. Like everything was going to be okay. 

–

Chan sat on the bleachers of your college’s stadium, sun beating down on his sunglasses-clad face. He was hot and uncomfortable, his back ached, and his mask itched, but none of that mattered. Not when you were down there, standing in your cap and gown, about to walk across the stage set up on the lawn. 

You were graduating. 

Finally. After all the years you’d spent in school learning, struggling, and hurting, you were finally done. Chan had only been around for the last year, but even from that, he could tell. Law school was tough. But now you were done. 

You were graduating with honors and with a job already lined up—it seemed your impressive grades and the connections you’d made during internships in previous years paid off, and now you were already on your way to being a lawyer. 

Chan was so proud of you. And he made sure you knew it. 

Even though he was near the back of the stadium, surrounded by thousands of people—which he thought was funny, because usually he wasn’t on this side of the stadium—he still made sure you could see him. He texted you his exact location as soon as he’d arrived so you could find his tiny figure waving down at you. He needed you to know that you had people here supporting you. 

In fact, it wasn’t just Chan—all of the boys were here, too. All decked out in masks and hats and neutral clothing, of course, and also waving aggressively down at you. Your face was blurry from the distance, but Chan swore he could see you laugh. He could just imagine your face, lighting up like it did every time the boys did something funny, so gorgeous that he would do anything to keep seeing it. He wanted to kiss you right now. But he’d have to wait until after the ceremony. 

When they called your name and you walked across the stage, Chan and the boys cheered so loud that everyone around them turned to see the commotion. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be loud enough for you to hear. 

When the ceremony was finished, Chan found you on the lawn, surrounded by other celebrating families. Chan didn’t even hesitate before tugging down his mask and pulling you in for a kiss. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he said against your lips, finally drawing back and pulling his mask back up. 

The rest of the idols took their turns congratulating you. Chan stuck right next to you like an obsessed boyfriend (which he was), unwilling to leave your side for an instant. 

Suddenly, you stiffened. Chan noticed immediately, eyes going to yours to see what had happened. You weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on someone to your left. He followed your eyes and saw–

–your parents. 

Well, shit. They’d shown up? Chan didn’t think you’d invited them. And now was not the time for them to be bringing down the mood. You deserved to be happy today, and only happy. After last time, Chan had promised himself he’d never sit by and let you be insulted by them again without standing up for you. 

Your parents walked up to the two of you. You were still frozen. Chan shot his friends a look, and they quickly dispersed to give you privacy. 

“y/n,” your eomeoni said hesitantly. You braced for impact. “Congratulations.” 

Chan blinked. Had he heard that right? He looked at you, and you seemed to be having the same reaction. At your silence, your mother continued. 

“You put a lot of work into this. I’m… I’m proud of you,” she said, taking a few steps toward you. After a few seconds of silent staring, she pulled you into what Chan thought was the most awkward hug he’d ever seen. It looked like your mother had never hugged anyone before, and you just seemed so shocked that she was. Still, it was a sweet gesture. 

When the hug ended, your father stepped forward. “Good job,” he said, just as emotionally constipated, settling for a firm pat on your shoulder. 

“Thanks, eomeoni. Abeoji,” you finally spoke. Your posture was still hunched and protective but your eyes were lit up. Huh. It looked like Chan wasn’t going to have to say anything after all. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Of course we came!” Your mother scoffed. “You don’t graduate law school without your parents to celebrate.” 

“Are you planning ahead? Have you been looking for jobs?” Your father asked.

“Um, yeah, actually. I already have a job lined up. With a law firm nearby.” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful! See, I told you that all your studying would pay off. I bet you wouldn’t have gotten this offer if you’d gotten Bs, hm?” And there she was. Well, she couldn’t be entirely fixed. At least she was trying. 

“Yes, eomeoni, thank you. And thanks for coming,” you replied. It was nice of them to come and act relatively normally, but Chan could tell you were ready for them to leave. You could only handle so much at a time. 

It seemed that your parents had managed to learn social awareness since he’d last seen them, because your mother noticed this and said, “Well, I think we’ll get going now. Just call me, okay? We haven’t talked in a while.” Your mother sounded… surprisingly vulnerable. It was unusual. It seemed your bout of no-contact had really had an effect on her. Chan was glad that it seemed to be for the better. 

“Okay, eomeoni, I will,” you said. A pause, then, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Your parents left, and you sagged in Chan’s arms. “Oh my god,” you said, looking up at him. “Oh my god!” 

Chan laughed, “yeah, wow. She’s really changed since I met her.” 

“That was… crazy. She didn’t say anything mean. Well, mostly. That’s like unheard of,” you said. After you’d gotten over the shock of seeing them, you seemed to come back to yourself. You were glowing, actually, at the successful interaction with your parents. Chan was happy to see you so happy. 

Suddenly, a body was barreling into you, Felix’s arms wrapping around you and pulling you away from Chan. “y/n! Are you ready to head out?” 

The rest of the boys followed behind, seeing that the coast was clear to return. You laughed as Minho pulled Felix off of you while Jisung and Seungmin argued over who got to sit next to you in the car. “Yeah, let’s go,” you said through your giggles. 

The plan was to go back to Chan’s dorm to celebrate, armed with alcohol and confetti and takeout. The boys pulled you along to the car, ready to celebrate. Chan managed to squeeze himself back to your side, sliding his hand into yours. 

For the first time in a long time, you felt good. Not just in-the-moment good, but actually good. Like there was nothing to be worried about, nothing wrong in your life. Your soulmate bond pulsed comfort through you, not a hint of exhaustion or stress or anything else. You had a job, great friends, improving parents, and the best boyfriend-soulmate you could ever ask for. 

–

In a world where everyone has a soulmate and the markings vary based on each pair, you were stuck with one of the most annoying markings: the unknown.

Some people had their soulmate’s first words to them, some had a countdown. Red string, lost items, colorblindness, shared pain. You had none of the above. You didn’t even have a mental marking, like feeling their emotions or tasting what they ate. No, you had absolutely nothing.

You knew, logically, that many people were the same. It didn’t mean you didn’t have a soulmate, it just meant that your marking was likely something physical. You’d know it when you touched them or when you saw them.

It was frustrating. Sometimes you thought you’d never find your soulmate, since there was nothing actually leading you to them. It was just luck—or, you supposed, fate—if you would meet them.

It turned out that you were wrong. So, so wrong.

When you felt a sudden wave of dizziness and opened your eyes to see that you were definitely not on the couch of your apartment anymore, you thought you were hallucinating. You were exhausted, had been up all night studying; you must’ve passed out on the couch and were having a lucid dream.

You slowly looked around, noting your new surroundings. You were in a living room you’d never seen before, standing behind a large brown couch that faced a flat screen TV. There were a few paintings on the walls, blankets scattered around, and various knick-knacks and trinkets littering the TV stand and tables. It was homey.

You didn’t know why you were dreaming of a room you’d never been in. As you walked around, touching blankets and observing pictures, you thought that this seemed a little too real. You were in grad school for law, not neuro or psych or whatever studied the human brain, but even you knew that lucid dreams weren’t normally this… lucid.

You also felt off. You didn’t know how to describe it. Your body felt different. Taller, maybe. Stronger. As you walked, you felt like you were controlling a body that didn’t belong to you, feeling weirdly uncomfortable in your skin.

(You would soon find out that your description was extremely accurate.)

“Chan?”

You startled, stumbling as you whipped your body around to face the speaker. You hadn’t realized that anyone else was in the room with you or had entered, too caught up in your dream-not-dream.

You now faced a brown-haired man you had no recollection of, but for some reason felt the slightest bit familiar to you. Like you’d seen him before. You briefly remembered something you’d read online—your brain couldn’t come up with new faces—so this must be some random stranger you’d seen on the street or something, here to play a starring role in your incredibly realistic dream.

“Hi?” You asked after a very long pause.

The man—who for some reason reminded you of a squirrel—just stared at you, eyes wide and expressive. He seemed concerned, confused, looking at you like you’d gone crazy. He’d probably seen you earlier, looking at blankets and pictures way too intensely to be normal. Yeah, that made sense.

“Are you– are you okay?”

“I think so.”

“You seem really out of it, Chan. Are you, like, tired or something?”

There was that name again. Why was he calling you that?

“Who’s Chan?”

The man’s face, already concerned, seemed to grow even more worried at that.

“Are you joking? Is this a prank? You’re scaring me, hyung.”

You were starting to get scared, too. Was this actually a dream? It felt way too real. You slowly brought your hand to your arm and pinched yourself as hard as you could. Nothing happened, except for the shock of pain that quickly ran through your arm.

“Wait. This is real? I’m not dreaming?” Your expression mirrored the stranger’s. He stayed silent, apparently too confused or in shock to talk. “What is going on?” You asked again, voice growing louder.

Your conversation drew attention, and soon two more men you didn’t recognize but felt the same familiarity of entered the room.

“Is everything okay?” Asked the one with huge muscles. “We heard you yelling.”

“I think Chan’s gone crazy,” replied the squirrel guy. “That, or he’s playing a really weird prank on me.”

“Who are you? Where am I?” You asked, ignoring their words. You were scared now, very much so, because you were not dreaming which meant somehow you had left your room and ended up in this house being called ‘Chan’ instead of your name.

“You’re at home. In our living room. What the hell is wrong with you, Chan?” Asked the third man, who had the most insane face card you’d ever seen.

“I don’t know,” you said, voice quiet and shaky. “I- I need to use the bathroom.” You quickly rushed past the confused men, down the hallway and through a door, somehow getting to the bathroom on the first try. How did you know this room was the bathroom? It was like your body knew, even though your mind didn’t.

You turned to the mirror, hoping to regain your bearings, but instead let out a yelp of surprise at what greeted you. Looking back at you in the mirror wasn’t you, but a man.

Well, not just a man. The most gorgeous man you’d ever seen. Pink lips, wavy black hair, dark brown eyes, all combining to form a man who, if you saw on the street, would make you stop walking for a minute just to reconnect with reality, because men should not be allowed to look this good.

But that was besides the point. You were in someone else’s body. In someone else’s house. Talking to their roommates. How the fuck did this happen? What was going on?

A quiet knock sounded on the door, and you opened it after hesitating for a second. All three men were standing, worried, in the doorway.

“I’m not Chan,” you blurted, needing to express the situation to someone, no matter how insane you might sound. When they looked at you with blank faces, you continued. “This isn’t my body. I don’t know what’s happening. I was in my room, in my house, and then I looked up and I was here and I’m so confused and I don’t know what’s going on and–” Your rambling was cut off by hands resting on your shoulders, pulling you out of your panic.

It was the buff man, now looking you in the eyes, trying to calm you down. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I think I know what’s happening.”

“You do?” You asked at the same time as the squirrel man and face card man.

“Body switching. It’s a soulmate mark, though it’s really rare. You don’t have some other mark, do you?”

“No.”

“Chan doesn’t either,” face card man chimed in, putting the pieces together. “Oh, that’s crazy! Body, switching, holy shit.”

Well. It seemed your soulmark wasn’t a mystery anymore. And it definitely wasn’t boring, or based on luck—this was all fate.

The boys led you back to the living room, sitting down on the couch. They introduced themselves, and you found out that the squirrel man was Jisung, the face card man was Hyunjin, and the buff man was Changbin. You didn’t know why those names sounded so familiar.

You and the boys talked for a while, growing more comfortable with each other as time went on. Your soulmate’s roommates were really nice, and hilarious. Also, gorgeous. You didn’t understand how all four of these men could be so beautiful. It was unusual.

Not long after, you felt another wave of dizziness wash over you, and you were back on your couch.

–

When Chan suddenly found himself in a stranger's room, alone, he didn’t know what to think. He pulled his phone from his pocket, hoping to check his location or call a friend or do anything to help him get his bearings, but immediately realized that what he held was not his phone.

A quick check in the phone camera revealed a pretty girl he’d never seen before, but then the information registered and he blanched because why was the camera showing him a random girl and not his own face?

After a bit of thinking and a lot of stressing, he finally came to the conclusion that this was his soulmark. It calmed him down, having an answer, but his mind was still reeling. Body switching was an incredibly rare mark, and it was so sparsely documented that he had little idea what it actually entailed. All he knew was that the two of you would keep switching bodies at random until he met you in person.

He didn’t want to invade your privacy, but Chan was also bored and extremely curious, so after a short internal debate, he began looking around your house. It was small, one bedroom, a bathroom, a living room and a kitchen. Not very big, but enough for one person to live comfortably.

It was warmly decorated, with soft rugs, plants on every shelf, ceramic bowls holding random items and various posters brightening the walls. It was very homey. He liked it.

A bit more observation revealed that you were a student—a fact which almost sent Chan into a spiral before he realized, with a wild amount of relief, that you were a grad student—textbooks and notebook paper littered all over your desk and kitchen counter, all heavily annotated.

It was too bad you lived alone. He wished he could talk to someone, a roommate or friend or sibling. He wanted to learn more about you. He sat back down on the couch. Before he could consider doing anything more, the same dizzy feeling came over him and he was back in his own house.

Hyunjin, Changbin, and Jisung were all on the couch with him, looking at him expectantly.

“Are you… back?” asked Jisung.

“Yeah, I’m back.”

His friends broke into exclamations immediately.

“Oh my god-!”

“Can you believe-!”

“-seemed really sweet-!”

“-your soulmate!”

Chan laughed at his friend’s shock. “Yeah,” was all he said. He was happy.

–

“Did you get his number?”

You looked at your friend blankly. It had been a day since your body switching experience, and you were finally able to tell your friend about it. You didn’t feel like it was something to share through text, so you’d forced her out to get coffee with you this morning before class.

She’d freaked out, asked a million questions that you tried your best to answer, and froze. Then, she’d asked this. You stopped. Thought for a second. Then another second.

“Shit.”

“Are you kidding me, [Y/N]? You didn’t get his number? This is your soulmate, for god’s sake, you need his number!” She took a furious sip of her iced latte.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it. I was so caught up in the moment, at first, and then I was too busy talking with his roommates.”

Yuna looked at you, thinking. “So, just how gorgeous were they?”

You let out a small laugh. You’d only briefly mentioned that part during your retelling, but it seemed she’d come back around to the topic.

“Insanely. Like, they could all be male models. And my soulmate, god, he was just perfect. I can’t believe it.”

“Girl, you’ve got your work cut out for you. If your man really is that gorgeous.”

You didn’t miss the subtle jab at your appearance, but you didn’t take offense. Yuna was right, you really could stand to look a little better. You could be skinnier, put on makeup more often, wear cuter outfits. Your appearance has always been a pretty big insecurity of yours, and this new soulmate thing definitely wasn’t going to help.

You hadn’t told Yuna Chan’s name, some part of you feeling like it was better to keep it secret. You couldn’t ignore the nagging inside you that you recognized it, somehow, so when you got home you looked him up on your computer.

You only had his first name, so it didn’t give you much, but the real shock came when you looked up his and his roommate’s names all at once.

Stray Kids.

Your soulmate was the leader of Stray Kids. The incredibly famous, incredibly talented K-pop group. You didn’t really listen to their music, but you’d heard of them before and seen pictures, which was why all the boys looked so familiar to you.

You spent a lot of time after that researching, finding pictures and reading articles, unable to stop yourself.

Yeah, this was definitely not good for your self-esteem.

–

The second time you switched, it was right before class started. You were sitting near the back of the lecture hall, pulling out your notebook and pens—this teacher didn’t like students using their computers in class—when you felt that same dizziness.

You were in a big, open room, mirrors taking up an entire wall and smooth floors underneath you. It was entirely void of furniture, the only items being various bags and water bottles stuffed against the wall and a single table with a computer and speaker on it.

Also, there were seven boys standing around, staring at you.

You recognized Jisung, Hyunjin, and Changbin from last time, and the rest of them from the looking online you’d done. You still weren’t sure of their names, though.

“Hey,” you said, drawing out the word. “I’m back.”

Jisung’s face lit up into a smile. “[Y/N]?”

“Yeah.”

The four boys you hadn’t met were in shock, all speaking over each other.

“Wait, [Y/N]??”

“Chan’s soulmate?”

“You switched again?”

“Oh my god!”

You let out an awkward laugh. You weren’t used to having so much attention on you. “Yeah, that’s right. It’s nice to meet you all.”

The rest of the boys introduced themselves to you—Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin, Minho.

After you’d gotten over the initial shock of switching again and meeting new people, you realized where you were. The lack of furniture, mirrors, and speaker? This was a dance studio.

You turned to the three roommates with a bone to pick. “Hey, you guys didn’t tell me you were idols! I would’ve appreciated the information, y’know.”

“Sorry, it slipped my mind!” said Jisung.

“Yeah, I didn’t even think to mention it,” added Hyunjin.

Changbin just shrugged.

You huffed, not actually upset.

“I hate to say this, but we do kind of have to practice our dance while we’re here. We don’t have much time in the studio today,” Minho said.

“[Y/N], you should watch,” Felix exclaimed.

“Well, she’s in Chan’s body. Do you think she knows the choreo?”

“Oh, that would be cool!”

“I kind of doubt it.”

You just listened as the group argued over whether or not you would know the dance if they put the music on. It was cute. They seemed like a really nice group of friends. You wished your friends were like this. You didn’t have many, but even the friends you did have weren’t as lively or as fun.

“Well, let’s just see, shall we?” You joined the conversation, feeling bad that you were stopping them from practicing.

After a series of agreements, everyone got into their positions. Minho showed you where to stand, then moved to start the music.

As soon as it started playing, you felt something take over your body. Muscle memory, but on another level. You immediately started moving, not at all knowing what you were doing or how you were doing it but somehow managing to stay in time with the members and hit the right moves.

It was an amazing feeling. You weren’t a particularly active person, spending much of your time studying or going to class, so dancing like this felt… freeing.

You messed up a few times but fixed yourself and kept going until the song ended. When you finally stopped dancing, the muscle memory no longer overtaking you, you looked around and saw everyone looking at you. They seemed to do that a lot. You didn’t like it.

“What?”

“That was amazing!”

“You knew the whole dance!”

You flushed, embarrassed at the praise. “Well, I did mess up a few times.”

“In the exact spots that Chan always messes up,” Seungmin added quietly, more to himself than the group.

“Wait, really?”

“Body switching is so cool.”

You laughed at the boys’ antics. This was fun.

–

Chan was in a class. In school. God, he did not miss this. The professor had been talking for almost an hour about the most boring and incomprehensible thing he’d ever heard. He wanted badly to zone out, or to just leave, but he knew he couldn’t. For your sake, he couldn’t.

When the class finally ended, Chan almost jumped for joy, packing up your bag, very ready to leave. As he exited the lecture hall, he heard a girl yelling your name. He turned, seeing two girls walking up to him.

“[Y/N], hey! How have you been?” One girl asked.

“Yeah, it feels like it’s been forever since we hung out!” The other added.

“Oh, I–” Chan paused. He wanted to talk to your friends, that was true, but he wasn’t sure how close you were to these girls. He didn’t know if you’d told them about the soulmark, or if you even wanted them to know. He figured he wouldn’t risk it. “I’m good. Yeah it’s – it’s been a while. We should make plans soon.” If he couldn’t tell them they’d switched, then he’d just talk to them as you. Easy enough, right?

“Are you free right now? Let’s go to lunch!”

At the question, Chan somehow immediately knew that yes, he was free, and that he didn’t have another class until the next morning. He didn’t know how he knew that. He agreed to lunch, walking with the girls to the dining hall. He felt something else, this time a sense of dread. Weird. He ignored it.

Listening to the girls talk to each other as they walked, he learned that their names were Jiyeon and Nari. They talked mostly to each other, only sometimes asking him questions to let him join in the conversation. Kind of odd, considering they had asked him to lunch.

The three of them bought lunch at the dining hall and found a seat by the windows. Jiyeon and Nari immediately began gossipping about various other people and events that Chan pretended to understand. He couldn’t help but notice how mean they were, though. He really hoped that the girls they were talking about weren’t their friends, because Jiyeon and Nari ripped into them with no remorse, criticizing outfits and new haircuts and talking about situations that they weren’t even a part of.

Chan hoped that you weren’t like this. He didn’t want his soulmate to be as mean as her friends were—if these even were your friends. From how little they included him in the conversation, he was starting to think that maybe you weren’t very close with them. It was an odd dynamic.

When they did say something to Chan, it was usually a poorly-hidden jab or passive aggressive comment that he was beginning to realize wasn’t in good spirit. They made fun of a bad outfit they’d seen, then described it as being similar to a specific piece of clothing you owned. They talked about a difficult class they were taking, then said, “even you wouldn’t be able to get an A.” On the surface it seemed harmless, but the way they said it made Chan feel like they were making fun of you.

Chan was starting to think of these girls as bullies more than friends. He understood now why he felt that sense of dread when he agreed to hang out. That must’ve been a gut feeling from you, who knew how these girls really were.

As much as he hated the way they treated you, it did bring him some relief to know that you weren’t like them. Which he pretty much knew already, from the raving reviews he’d received from his roommates after the first switch.

When he finished his lunch and watched as the girls shared a look with each other about it, he knew it was time to leave.

“Wow, the dining hall food must have been really good today,” Jiyeon said. It would have seemed like an innocent comment if Nari hadn’t snorted quietly in response, clearly at your expense.

Chan put the fakest smile he could on his face. “I actually have to go now. I just remembered I have plans. See you guys later,” he excused himself, quickly throwing out his trash and leaving the premises. He wished he could have defended you more or been a little more direct, but he knew it wasn’t fair of him to do anything in your body that might come back to bite you later. So, he left peacefully. For now.

Chan didn’t like your friends.

–

When you returned to your body, you were in a good mood. You’d had a lot of fun hanging out with the boys. You thought about what Chan might have done in your life today, and immediately your smile dropped. Your class. Shit.

It was an important one—well, they were all important to you, but that was beside the point—so not being actually present in class today to remember anything wasn’t good. This teacher was awful, never posting any notes or reviews online, explaining that it was your fault if you missed class or didn’t pay attention. You could ask someone else for notes, but the only friends you had in that class were Jiyeon and Nari, and there was no way in hell you were asking them for anything. You were not going to open that can of worms.

In the middle of your internal panic, you felt a sudden urge to check your notebook. You didn’t know why, but you listened to it, pulling it from your bag and flipping to the most recent page.

What greeted you was notes, meticulously written, documenting the entire class you’d missed. Well, you hadn’t actually missed it. Chan was there. Chan was there, and he’d taken notes so that you wouldn’t fall behind. Tears welled up in your eyes that you quickly blinked away.

He was so nice. He was gorgeous, and kind, and thoughtful. You didn’t deserve him. Why would the universe pair you with someone so perfect? He was too good for you.

Once you’d gotten over your slight internal breakdown, you noticed something in the top corner of your notes. It was a message from Chan. All it said was ‘text me :)’ with his number written underneath. You broke into a smile. You’d forgotten, yet again, to leave your number for him, but thankfully he hadn’t forgotten.

You added it into your phone, but paused, finger hovering over the keyboard. What were you supposed to say to him? ‘Hi, I’m your soulmate’? Maybe. Simple was probably better. You tried not to overthink it. He was the one who told you to text him, after all.

You typed out a simple ‘hi,’ hitting send before you could regret it. Then, you added, ‘this is [Y/N]!’ Good enough.

You set your phone down, but felt a buzz and immediately picked it back up. Chan sure was a fast texter.

When you looked at the notification, you saw that it wasn’t Chan replying, no, it was someone much worse. It was Jiyeon.

‘Hey girl, you seemed a little off at lunch today. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I hope you feel better! We should definitely do it again soon!’

You stared blankly at your phone. You had lunch today. With Jiyeon. Chan had lunch with Jiyeon. Yeah, that wasn’t good.

The text seemed nice. If anyone else was looking at it, they would think it was sweet, a friend checking in on you. But you knew better. When Jiyeon called you ‘off,’ that meant that you hadn’t done a good enough job at hiding your reactions to her insults. When you were too quiet, your face showed a hint of the hurt you felt, or, god forbid, you actually said something back to her and defended yourself. That was you being ‘off.’

You didn’t know what they’d said to Chan, or how he’d reacted, and honestly you didn’t want to know. You’d rather just forget it happened. You hoped Chan forgot it, too.

So, when he replied to your text a few minutes later with a ‘hey!!’ you didn’t say anything about it.

–

It had been a few weeks since you and Chan had last switched bodies. You’d been texting ever since he left his number, and he had to say, he really enjoyed it.

After the initial period of awkwardness, you’d warmed up to each other, and now texted each other every day. You would text just to talk about random things that happened throughout the day. Chan talked a lot about the kids’ antics, which you enjoyed since you’d met them all. You only really talked about your classes and what you were doing, which was usually just studying or reading.

It made Chan a little sad, that you didn’t seem to do much else. He knew that law school was serious, but that shouldn’t mean that you never got to do anything fun. He hoped that you were doing more fun things than you let on, but you never let a conversation get very far. You seemed like an open book, but the more Chan thought about it, he realized that he actually didn’t know very much about you.

He hoped that you were just shy and still getting to know him; maybe you’d tell him more later. After all, though it had seemed like you’d known each other for a while, you’d only had that first switching experience a little under a month ago.

He would learn more about you soon, anyway. It was hard not to when he was in your body, in your life.

–

You weren’t doing very well. Finals were approaching, and you stayed up late every night to study. You were exhausted, not getting anywhere near enough sleep, and were often so caught up in your tasks that you forgot to eat.

You were also lonely. You didn’t have very many friends, and the ones you did have were just as busy as you. You lived alone, so you didn’t have many interactions throughout the day. The only person you had was Chan. His texts were the only things keeping you going, encouraging you and giving you someone to talk to.

It didn’t help that after finals, you had to visit home for a week. You hated being home. Your eomeoni never got off your back about anything, always finding something to criticize. If you didn’t do well on finals, it would be about your grades. About not being able to make it as a lawyer. Plus, she never let a single visit go by without mentioning that you had gained weight and needed to ‘take care of yourself,’ even if you’d actually lost weight since you’d last seen her. It didn’t matter that you were a full adult in grad school. She was always the same.

So, with all that in mind, you studied even harder, forgot to eat even more, and isolated yourself in your apartment. You wanted to give your eomeoni as little as she could to insult, even though you knew she’d manage to find something anyway.

Still, you made sure to keep your texts to Chan upbeat and happy. He didn’t need to know about this. It was your problem, not his. He probably already didn’t like having you as his soulmate, and this would just solidify that in his mind.

–

Chan was worried about you. You were texting him less often, and although nothing in them implied something was wrong, he just felt… off. Something felt wrong within him, and he thought it had to be traced back to the soulmate bond. Something was wrong with you. He just wished he knew how to fix it.

He was lounging on a couch backstage, waiting for his turn for hair and makeup before an interview, when he felt that familiar dizziness that had eluded him for weeks.

All he could think about before his vision blacked out was that this was not good timing.

He regained his sight to find himself in an entirely unfamiliar location. He was in a bedroom, sitting at a desk with various makeup products in front of him. He assumed you’d been doing your makeup when you’d switched—funny coincidence.

Still, he had no idea where he was. He’d been in every room of your apartment, and this was not it. He noticed some of your items strewn about the room. Were you at a parent’s house, maybe? A friend’s?

As he stood up to get a better look around, a sudden wave of exhaustion and dizziness washed over him, though not the comforting dizziness that accompanied a body switch. No, a terrifying one that had him gripping the desk to stay upright. Why was he so tired, and why did he feel so awful? Were you sick?

A few seconds later, your phone began ringing, violently vibrating against the wooden desk. He picked it up, noticing that it was his number that was calling. Ah, so it was you. He smiled.

“Hey.”

“Chan,” your—his—shaky voice greeted him, quickly dropping his smile.

“[Y/N]? What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Chan, you need to listen to me. Please, this is important,” your stressed tone had him stressed, too, though he still couldn’t help but think how weird it was to hear his own voice over the phone. You two had never called before, only texted, so this was new.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“Chan, you’re at my parents’ house right now. I’m home for a week over break.” So he’d guessed right. You continued, “my parents don’t know about the body switching. I didn’t tell them anything. So you can’t say anything, okay? Please, I need you to pretend you’re me.”

Chan froze. It had been a month, and you still hadn’t told your parents? “Why haven’t you told them?” He asked. “Is something else wrong? [Y/N], please, talk to me.”

After a moment’s hesitation and quiet, shaky breath, you responded. “Chan, my eomeoni and my abeoji aren’t– they aren’t nice people. They’re not nice to me, so they won’t be nice to you today. I don’t talk to them very often, so I haven't had a chance yet. I was– I was going to tell them this week.” Your voice grew quieter. “But I don’t want that to fall on you. So you need to pretend, please.”

Chan’s heart ached for you. “Of course, I can pretend.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. And, please try not to let them get to you. They’re talking about me, not you. And don’t try to defend me, either. It just makes things worse. Okay?”

Chan was getting nervous. What could they possibly be like to preempt this kind of conversation? “Okay. Oh, by the way, you have your work cut out for you today, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“We have an interview today. In, like, an hour. I don’t know where you’re calling me from, but you need to go get your hair and makeup done,” Chan explained. When he received no response, he kept going. “And I’m the leader, so they’re going to expect me to talk the most—you to talk the most.”

“What??” You blanched.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, sweetheart,” the term of endearment slipped from his mouth easily. “The boys will help you. Tell them what’s going on, and they’ll cover for you if you need it. It’ll be okay.” He tried his best to sound reassuring, not wanting to add any more stress onto what he knew you were already feeling.

“Oh – okay. Um, I should go, then. Bye,” you said.

“Bye,” Chan replied, hanging up the call.

He tried not to show it on the call, but your words set him on edge. He had no idea what he was about to encounter when he went downstairs. He needed to prepare himself.

He looked in the mirror, making sure he looked okay. You had been in the middle of doing makeup, so he didn’t want to go downstairs with only half his face done or something. When he was sure that the makeup looked fine and he was dressed in a normal outfit, he left the room. Your phone told him it was ten in the morning.

He entered the kitchen, noticing who he assumed was your mother sitting at the table, reading a newspaper. She looked up at his arrival.

“Oh, look who’s finally up. Really, [Y/N], you need to wake up earlier. You won’t get anything done when you sleep in half the day.”

Wow. What a lovely first thing to hear in the morning.

“Uh– sorry, eomeoni,” Chan replied, using the same word you’d used to refer to your mother earlier.

She barely acknowledged the apology, turning back to her newspaper. After a long minute of silence, she started talking again, not looking up from the paper. “Your abeoji and I are going out with friends today for lunch. You’ll have to fend for yourself. We’re having dinner together tonight, though, so be sure you’re home for that.”

“Yes, eomeoni.”

It seemed that that was the end of the conversation. Chan opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. He was starving. There wasn’t much in there, so he settled for cereal and some fruit.

He felt wildly uncomfortable. This was your parents’ home, and he had no idea how to act. What did you normally do when you were here? Where did you sit, what did you talk about, did you even talk at all? He didn’t want to give himself away, but also had no clue what to do. He should’ve asked, but he knew he couldn’t now. You were busy in an interview.

A bit later, your parents left for their lunch plans. Chan let out a sigh of relief, glad that he didn’t have to be under scrutiny anymore. Not that your parents had even glanced his way or said a word to him since breakfast.

He wasn’t used to this. His parents were kind, he loved his siblings, and their home was always a lively one. It was nothing like this.

He decided to go for a walk. He didn’t know where he was, so he figured a little tour of the neighborhood could be a fun way to pass the time.

He quickly learned that you’d grown up in a small, adorable town. The center wasn’t a far walk from your house, so he’d found it soon into his walk. He went in and out of stores, browsing and talking to the workers and townspeople. They all seemed to know you. Almost everyone he walked by waved or said hi, and some even stopped to chat and ask about law school. He tried his best to come up with vague but satisfying answers.

He got lunch in town, finally returning home hours later. He really liked it here. It was quaint, and very homey. Though he couldn’t ignore how an uncomfortable feeling settled over him as soon as he walked back through the threshold of your house.

He was surprised that he was still in your body. The switches had never lasted longer than a few hours, but it seemed that today was different. Your parents hadn’t returned yet, so he went back to your room and opened the computer that was sitting on your desk. He’d been meaning to do some more research on his soulmark, but hadn’t had a chance. Now was as good a time as any.

Though information was scarce due to the rarity of the soulmark, he still found a few good articles and webpages. Soulmates with this mark would switch bodies at random, starting on a random date and not stopping until they met in person. The longer they went without meeting, the more often the switches would occur and the longer they’d last.

Chan thought about this. Things had been okay so far, but with his job, switches were bound to happen at inopportune times if they became a more common occurrence. Today was just the start of that, with you being forced to do an interview for him. He didn’t even want to think about what would happen if you switched during an exam. He would definitely fail it, and he would never forgive himself. He hoped it didn’t come to that.

He needed to meet you, and soon. He knew you went to a university in Seoul, so you really couldn’t be very far from each other. He just needed to find a time to meet you. He hoped you would be okay with that—you seemed like the type to want to take things slow.

Some time later, Chan heard your eomeoni calling you down for dinner. Time had flown by, it seemed. He’d hoped that you would’ve switched back by now, because he really wasn’t prepared for a whole dinner with your parents. He didn’t know what to say. He took a second to hope that everything would go well, and then walked downstairs.

Your parents were already sitting at the table, so Chan sat in the only available seat left, across from them. Dinner started silently, no one saying a thing as they served dinner onto their plates. Finally, your eomeoni spoke.

“So, [Y/N]. How did you do on finals?”

The information came to Chan’s brain immediately, words coming out of his mouth before he could even think them. “Good, eomeoni. I passed them all. I emailed you all my scores, remember?” Chan was surprised by his own words, but tried not to show it. This must be muscle memory, or something. He liked it. It would definitely help him get through dinner.

“Yes, I did see them,” she replied, tone dismissive. Chan wondered why she would ask if she already knew what they were. “You passed, but that’s it. Really, [Y/N], an eighty-five on Administrative Law? A ninety on Civil Procedure? You can do better.”

Chan had to stop himself from showing the absolute shock he felt on his face. Those scores were amazing, if you asked him. You were in law school in one of the most prestigious universities in the country, and the lowest scores you received on finals were an eighty-five and a ninety? To him, that made you a genius. He didn’t understand why your eomeoni thought they were so bad.

He tried to take your advice to not defend you, but he couldn’t just let it go. “Those are good scores, eomeoni. Much better than most other people in my classes.”

“I don’t care about the other people in your classes, I care about you. And I know you can do better,” she rebutted immediately. Chan had no idea what to say to that. “Work harder next time.”

After a long moment of inner struggle, Chan replied, “yes, eomeoni.” The words came to him so easily, like he’d said them a million times before in a million conversations just like this. That was probably exactly right, he realized, for you.

The conversation continued after that, your mother reminding him very much of your friends, Jiyeon and Nari—she insulted so many people that Chan assumed were her friends or neighbors, speaking scathing comments about things that didn’t seem very serious to Chan. She soon turned her insults onto you, talking about how a friend’s daughter “really needs to lose some weight, and speaking of that, you seem like you’ve changed since last break too, [Y/N].”

She mentioned it casually, but it was clear by the emphasis she put on ‘changed’ and the tone of her voice that she had been looking for a way to bring the topic up.

“Really, honey, what do I tell you every time? That just because you need to spend so much time studying, that doesn’t give you an excuse to stop eating healthy.”

Chan wasn’t sure what to say. He’d heard many conversations like this before, most of them back as a trainee when he’d overheard managers talking to the female trainees. They were harsh conversations, but it was always direct, to the point, and not as passively cruel as your eomeoni was currently being. Also, you weren’t even an idol! Chan disagreed with the dieting culture as a whole for idols, but your mother didn’t even have that excuse. You were just a regular girl, who, by the way, was absolutely just fine the way you were. Chan didn’t think you needed to change anything about yourself.

Still, Chan didn’t know quite what to say to that, and felt something in his head urging him not to reply. Before he could decide what to do, your eomeoni changed the topic. “But really, honey, if you want to be unhealthy and are fine with the way you look, that’s your choice. Anyway, did you see Mrs. Choi’s daughter in town today? She really needs to fix–” Chan stopped listening, your mother’s words becoming a blur in his head as he fumed in anger. His fists were clenched under the table so hard it almost hurt, and he was sure that if anyone looked at him, his feelings would be made perfectly clear by his expression.

He was going to say something. He was. You didn’t deserve to be spoken about like this. He didn’t care that you said not to defend you, not anymore. He opened his mouth to speak—

—and felt a sudden, familiar wave of dizziness. No. Not right now, not now. He tried to fight it, but Chan was powerless to the will of the universe. He opened his eyes and was back in his own body.

–

You had prayed to not switch bodies with Chan while visiting your parents. You begged, pleaded with the universe, not ready for Chan to see that part of your life. You were not listened to.

When you switched, you almost fell into a full-blown panic attack, painfully aware of what Chan was going to encounter in your life today. You couldn’t, though. Not here. Actually, where were you?

Distracting yourself from your inner panic, you looked around. You were in some sort of dressing room, sitting on a couch with Felix and Jeongin, who were both busy on their phones. Lining the walls were small desks covered in makeup products and mirrors with bright lights hanging on the walls in front of them. The room was bustling, staff members running around, yelling things, calling times that had no meaning to you.

You didn’t care. Wherever you were, whatever was happening, it could wait. You needed to call Chan.

You grabbed your phone, jumping up from the couch and slipping out the door, finding a bathroom to hide yourself in. On your way out, you missed Felix and Jeongin’s surprised glances and confused “where are you going”s.

You sunk down on the bathroom floor and unlocked Chan’s phone, extremely grateful for facial recognition. He picked up immediately.

Voice shaky and holding back tears, you were sure you sounded awful, but you didn’t care as you quickly explained the situation. You were thankful for Chan’s hesitant agreement, hoping that he wouldn’t change his mind when he actually met your parents.

You stalled at his mention of the interview. “What??” you said into the phone, already falling back into the panic you’d barely managed to wrench yourself out of. Chan’s assurance that the boys would help you calmed you down a bit, but you ended the call quickly after, not wanting to stress him out too much with your worries.

An interview. That’s why everyone was getting their makeup done and staff was running around like someone was chasing them. You needed to get back.

You returned, relief dawning on Felix and Jeongin’s faces as soon as they saw you.

“Chan! Oh, thank god you’re back. Where did you go? Are you okay?” Felix asked.

“It’s your turn for makeup,” Jeongin said, gesturing to a waiting makeup artist, antsy with impatience.

You felt disconnected from your body, unsure what to do. “Oh, okay,” you said, coming out much calmer than you felt, body on autopilot as you sat down in the empty chair.

As the artist began applying product to your face, you saw realization dawn on Jeongin’s face. “Wait, Chan, did you–”

“Yes,” you cut him off, voice quiet and laced with anxiety.

Felix gasped. “Oh, shit, you swi–”

Minho cut Felix off this time with a harsh glare, apparently having overheard the conversation. “Not here, Felix,” he said, eyes flitting to the various staff members within earshot.

“Right, sorry,” Felix replied. Before he could say anything else, he was ushered away to another chair to get his own makeup done. Minho, seemingly all made-up with nowhere else to be, stayed by your side as you got your own make up done. When your artist left for a minute to find an eyeliner she’d let someone else borrow, Minho immediately began talking to you in a low tone.

“This is an interview about our new album. Have you listened to it?” You nodded, and he continued, “okay, good. Then if someone asks about a song or something, just answer as truthfully as possible. If any of that dance muscle memory works with talking, too, use that. If you look like you need help, we’ll jump in. I’ll tell everyone else. Okay?”

You stared at him for a second, still taking in the barrage of information he’d just relayed to you. Your brain, overwhelmed from everything that had happened in the last ten minutes, was a bit slow on the uptake.

“Okay,” you replied eventually. The make-up artist came back, then, effectively ending your conversation. Minho gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder before walking off to inform the others.

The next half hour passed in a blur. You were ushered from room to room, finishing your makeup, changing into your interview outfit, getting your hair done. Before you knew it, you were sitting in a comfy chair with the seven other boys, cameras pointed towards you and lights shining bright in your eyes.

A brief countdown sounded, and the interview began.

As soon as the cameras turned on, you felt something take over your body. An unknown force pushed you out of the driver’s seat and you were left to observe, your body acting on its own, just like in dance practice. You answered questions with words you didn’t even think of before you spoke them, yet as you talked you knew it to be true.

You didn’t want to push the limits of whatever this was that was helping you, so you stayed relatively quiet, letting the other members do most of the talking. Still, when a question was directed toward you, you somehow knew exactly what to say, playing the perfect ‘Bang Chan’ role.

The interview finished, and with the sound of the cameras being turned off, you felt yourself come back to your body. Internally, you mused how Chan must have his idol persona drilled into him for it to be able to overtake you so fully when the cameras were on.

The minute you and the other boys were left alone to get changed back, you were tackled into a hug by multiple members.

“[Y/N], that was amazing!”

“You’re a natural!”

“I would’ve never been able to tell it wasn’t Chan!”

You blushed at the praise, unused to so much attention. “Thanks, guys,” you said softly.

The eight of you got unready and then were taken back to the company for the rest of the day’s schedule, which consisted solely of dance and voice practices—no more public appearances for you today, thank god.

When you finally got a minute to yourself on the car ride back to the dorms, you remembered Chan, and where you’d left him today. Your stomach sank. You’d been so busy that you forgot all about it, but now, you were terrified. You hoped your parents hadn’t done anything crazy or said anything particularly mean to him, though you knew that was highly unlikely.

He hadn’t texted you, but that was probably just because he knew you’d be busy. Now that you thought about it, you’d been switched for quite a long time today—much longer than usual. The universe seemed like it was out to get you, switching you today of all days and having it last for the entire day.

The boys noticed you lost in your thoughts and tried to ask what was wrong, but you just gave a vague answer and changed the subject. There was no reason to involve them in your own issues. It wasn’t fair to them.

Seeing that you weren’t going to give them a real answer, they instead decided to just be very rowdy and energetic, all coming back to Chan’s shared dorm at the end of the day. You played video games and had dinner, and you had to admit, it was fun. Chan was lucky to have such good friends.

Still, when the dizziness took over your vision, you almost felt thankful. You didn’t think you could handle all the happiness anymore. You didn’t deserve it. Chan deserved to be having fun with his friends right now, not stuck in your miserable childhood home with your parents.

Your vision cleared, and you found yourself at your parents’ kitchen table, untouched food in front of you. Your mom was in the middle of one of her usual rants, talking about the latest neighborhood gossip—which girl had found a bad influence of a boyfriend, which old high school acquaintance was currently doing better than you in life, the usual. You weren’t even a little bit surprised that your parents hadn’t noticed the switch. You never talked much at dinner anyways.

–

Chan’s concern for you grew by the day.

It had been a week since the last switch. You were back in your apartment now, and Chan felt a surprising amount of relief at knowing you weren’t at your parents’ place anymore. He’d texted you the day after the switch, but you’d brushed him off. You said it was fine, your eomeoni was always like that, it wasn’t that serious, and so on. Chan didn’t believe you.

Chan was worried about a lot of things. He was worried about your friends, your parents, your over-studying, your eating habits, your sleep schedule (if that exhaustion he felt when he first entered your body was anything to go off). He was worried. But he didn’t want to ask you about it, he didn’t want to seem like an overbearing boyfriend. You weren’t even technically dating, since you hadn’t had that conversation yet, hadn’t even met in person, but Chan wondered if being soulmates allowed him to breach those topics.

Still, even being soulmates, Chan never found a time he felt comfortable bringing any of it up. It didn’t help that you primarily talked through text, with calls being few and far between, and text didn’t seem like the right method of communication for this conversation. So he waited.

Chan did the next best thing: he talked to his friends about it. He hated to share your personal issues with them, but they were basically your friends too, he reasoned, and it was important. He was trying to help you.

“Wow, they sound awful,” Jisung said after Chan told them all about his experience with your parents.

“God, no wonder she ran off so fast to call you. She looked really scared,” Felix added, remembering your panicked eyes as you’d jumped off the couch that day.

“I don’t know what to do. Her parents are awful, and so are her friends. Or, at least, the ones I’ve met. I don’t know if she has anyone to lean on, and she won’t talk to me,” Chan explained, defeated. “I don’t know how to help her.”

“You need to see her. In person. Maybe you’d get through to her then,” Hyunjin suggested.

“I really want to, but you know how busy we are right now. I’d need to plan a whole outing, which wouldn’t be able to happen for weeks, and I don’t even know what I’d tell the company,” Chan replied.

“Ah, right. They don’t know,” Changbin said. Chan had decided not to tell anyone but the boys about the soulmark, worrying about what the company might do. Force you two to see each other so the switching would stop and then ban you from seeing each other again? That seemed most likely. JYPE wasn’t exactly the biggest supporter of idol relationships, even if it was soulmates.

The conversation had continued with more suggestions, but it was fruitless. There was nothing Chan could do for you right now. He felt better that the boys knew, though. Maybe next time you switched, they could talk to you for him.

–

You were spiraling. After the week of the cruel and unusual punishment that is your parents’ house, you were finally back at your apartment. You were supposed to be better now that you were back—that’s what you told yourself every day of last week until it was time to come home—but you were failing even at that.

Being back home meant being back at school, so you were immediately back on your grind, staying late at the library to study, or in your kitchen with the lights on late into the night.

You were eating less, too. Much less. You hated to say it, but your eomeoni had gotten to you. The combination of her comments all throughout the week, your friends’ regular digs, and your stress at having Chan as your soulmate broke you. It wasn’t even very difficult, either. You were always in class or studying, so you’d often forget to eat or not notice your hunger anyway.

You were eating less than you ever had before, skipping most meals but always making sure to have just enough in your system to get you through the day. The last thing you wanted was to collapse in front of someone—it was mortifying even to think about.

What spurred you on even more was the encouragement you were receiving. Jiyeon and Nari had stopped you after class again this week, wanting to walk with you and chat, and they both complimented you, saying “girl, you look good!” It was a genuine comment, which threw you for a loop, because you’d never heard an actual compliment from them the entire time you’d known them. Yuna, your closest friend, had also noticed, telling you quite directly that you looked “so skinny, oh my god.”

You were glad. For the compliments, for one, but also for the fact that they didn’t seem to notice the heavy eye bags you tried so hard to cover or the effort it took for you to walk long distances. You were just so tired lately. It was okay, though. Nothing you couldn’t handle.

Chan texted you a lot, which only increased the guilt you felt for putting this on him. You tried your best to brush it off, change the topic, tell him you were doing fine, but he just wouldn’t let it go. You could tell that he was trying to seem unbothered, but the did you eat yet texts every day and the good night, get some rest texts every night gave him away, especially because you knew Chan wasn’t going to bed when he texted you good night. His workaholic tendencies and insomnia kept him up just as late as you, if not later, you were sure.

Chan was so sweet, so caring, and it was getting harder to ignore the voice in your head that told you you didn’t deserve him. It got louder every day, every time he texted you a reminder to eat and you lied that you’d eaten already, every time he asked how your day was and you told him it was great. You were a burden, an exhausted, ugly burden with too many problems and you couldn’t bear the thought of Chan taking them on for you. It wasn’t his job—his job was to be an idol, and he already had plenty on his plate that came with that. You just needed him to stop worrying about you. You could take care of yourself.

–

Last time you and Chan had switched, Chan complained about the timing. Well, the universe must have heard him and decided to one-up itself, because this had to be the worst timing in the world.

He and the rest of the Stray Kids were backstage at an awards show, waiting to perform. They watched in the wings as another group performed. After that, there would be an award and a speech, and then they would go on to perform.

As he stood, half watching and half listening to his members’ whispered conversations with each other, he felt the all too familiar and in this moment, incredibly awful feeling of dizziness that accompanied a body switch.

As soon as he opened his eyes to his new surroundings—the kitchen table of your apartment—a huge wave of exhaustion and hunger and a different, worse kind of dizziness crashed over him, and he was sure he would’ve collapsed to the ground if he weren’t already sitting down.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, hands gripping the table, desperate for something to ground himself while he recovered from and adjusted to the drastic change in feeling. He felt something like this last time you’d switched, but it wasn’t anywhere close to this level. When he’d finally recovered enough for thoughts to get through his head again, he swore. Loud and harsh and unlike him, but he couldn’t help it. He’d messed up.

He tried to get through to you, to talk to you, but you kept brushing him off, saying you were fine. And after a while, he started to believe it. At least a little. He could’ve done more, damn it, he should’ve done more. All he’d done for the past two weeks was ask if you were eating and imply for you to go to bed. And for the past two weeks, you’d clearly been lying to him, sending responses only to placate him, to make him believe that you were okay.

But you weren’t okay. And Chan couldn’t help but think that it was all his fault for not noticing.

He needed to do something. He was in your body, right? So what could he do to help? He got his answer from the loud rumble that sounded through your stomach.

Chan slowly stood up, careful not to fall back down onto the chair, and made his way over to your fridge. He internally wondered how you’d gotten anywhere recently, considering how tiring it was just for him to stand up and walk to the fridge.

The fridge was worryingly empty, only holding some fruit and few, scarce leftovers that he assumed were from meals you didn’t finish. He pulled everything out, heating up some old pasta and washing and cutting the fruit into a bowl. If you wouldn’t eat, then he would have to do it for you.

He ate the pasta quickly, the fruit following soon after. His stomach felt better for a second, glad to finally have some real food in it. Then, it flipped. A sudden but strong wave of nausea shot through him, and he barely made it to the bathroom in time before he was puking out everything he’d just eaten. Fuck.

Of course, he was so fucking stupid. You hadn’t eaten anything substantial in who knows how long, so of course your body wouldn’t react well to a sudden influx of food. He wanted to hit himself for being so dumb.

Once he’d finished emptying his stomach and cleaned himself up, the only thing he had enough energy left to do was stumble to the couch and collapse on it. He didn’t know how long he laid there for until a rush of energy woke his body.

He jerked up, suddenly finding himself standing, back at the awards show (dressing room? he registered sluggishly), surrounded by his friends. He must have been so out of it in your body that he didn’t even feel the dizziness. That wasn’t good.

The complete change in feeling jarred him, again, even though it was a change for the better. His legs wobbled and he pitched forward, managing to catch himself on Changbin’s shoulder. His friend, concerned, quickly moved to help support his weight, letting Chan lean on him until he was able to regain his balance.

“Chan? Are you back? What’s wrong?” Changbin asked.

Chan righted himself, taking a step back to look at everyone. They were all sweaty, out of breath, but glowing—aside from their current worry for him. Chan took stock of his own feelings, finding himself to be a bit tired (though compared to what he’d just felt in your body, he actually felt so energetic he could run a marathon) and adrenaline coursed through him, like it always did after a performance. His eyes widened, remembering.

“Did we perform? Did she perform? How did it go?” He asked instead, in a panic now that he had enough energy to feel anything other than exhaustion.

“Wha- Chan, forget about the performance! What happened to you?”

It was apparently clear that Chan was in a state, but he had no care of how he looked right now. All he cared about was you.

“I’m fine, but [Y/N]’s not. She’s not okay, guys. It’s so much worse than I thought, fuck, it’s bad,” he rambled, unable to stop thinking about how awful he felt for the short time he was in your body, how awful you must have felt for weeks without anyone knowing. “I need to find her, I need to help her. Please, we need to go–”

Seungmin gripped his shoulders. “Chan, calm down. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Take a breath.”

“No, you don’t understand!”

Another hand came to rest on his back, rubbing slow circles. His friends talked to him, but the words didn’t make it through to his head. His breaths came out fast and shallow, and he slightly registered someone trying to get him to follow their breathing. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, and what he’d just felt.

Eventually, he came back to himself. Everyone looked extremely worried. For him, his brain supplied, because he’d just had a panic attack.

“I’m okay,” he said, ever the leader, because he absolutely was not okay, but he didn’t want his members worrying for him any more. He heard a chorus of relieved sighs, his friends glad he was finally back and lucid. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Chan,” said Jeongin.

“Yeah, we’re here for you.” Felix.

“Can we do anything to help?” asked Minho. “Tell us what to do and we’ll do it.”

–

You were sitting at your kitchen table trying to study, books and papers spread out in front you, to no avail. You just couldn’t seem to focus, and you knew why. You were tired, dizzy, hungry, and your body protested so much that you couldn’t get anything done. Usually you were okay, you could push through no problem, but today was worse.

You’d had a test this morning, an important one, so last night you’d stayed up studying. You only got an hour of sleep, maybe two, and it was coming back to bite you today. Thankfully, you’d made it through the test and actually thought you did pretty good, but the exhaustion hit you as soon as you stepped out of the classroom. It was probably the relief that did it, the sudden release of tension that allowed all the other feelings you’d pushed away to come back full force.

You pushed the books away from you, giving up. Maybe you should just call it a day and take a nap or something. You could give yourself that, right?

As you decided on what to do, a different kind of dizziness came over you, and your sluggish brain only remembered what that meant just as your vision changed.

You were in a big, dark room, surrounded by people trying to be as quiet as possible. Following the only source of light you could find, you turned to see curtains, and beyond them, a stage.

You weren’t thinking about the connotations of that realization, though, because as soon as the body switch had been completed, a sudden and violent rush of energy crashed into you, feeling more like a bad thing than good with the force of it.

You stumbled but quickly caught yourself, standing still to feel the new energy coursing through your body. It felt amazing. You’d been feeling so bad for the past few weeks that you forgot how it felt to be fully energized, and god, did you miss it. It felt so good that you almost considered stopping your recent habits, but you quickly brushed that thought off. It was working. What you were doing was working, if the compliments you’d received recently had anything to say about it, so you could handle a little tiredness. It was worth it.

You were drawn out of your thoughts as a whispered conversation near you grew louder. You looked back to the stage, finally realizing what that actually meant for you, and paled. You looked down at yourself and found you were wearing very fancy and high-quality clothes. Your hair felt hard, like it had been sprayed in place, and you could feel the makeup on your face.

Oh. Oh, shit.

Your head whipped to look at the people closest to you, which happened to be the ones having the whispered conversation. Seungmin and Jeongin. They saw you looking, and mistook your expression for you being mad at them for being loud. “Sorry, Chan,” Jeongin said, quieting down.

You shook your head. “I’m not Chan,” you whispered, voice barely audible. The boys must have heard you, though, because their eyes immediately widened, surprise and worry clear in their gaze.

“Oh, fuck,” Seungmin said, full volume. That drew the attention of the rest of the members, who came over to see what was going on. “It’s [Y/N],” Seungmin explained quietly once everyone had gathered.

A series of gasps sounded from the group.

“What do I do? What are you even performing?” You asked.

“It’s okay. You have that weird muscle memory thing, right? Won’t you know the dance?” Jisung said, hopeful.

“Oh, yeah! Like in dance practice,” Felix said.

“And the interview,” Hyunjin added.

“Um, yeah, I guess so. I just– I’m not super confident in it.”

The boys tried their best to reassure you, but it was clear they were worried as well.

“Well, there’s nothing else we can do. You have to go on, so just do your best,” Minho told you, ever the voice of reason.

“Yeah. You’re right,” you agreed, taking a deep breath. You could do this. You could do this.

In the background, you heard the voice of someone announcing Stray Kids’ performance. The lights dimmed. You walked on stage with the boys, finding your place, whole body shaking. Fuck, this was scary.

Last time, in dance practice, you’d known the moves but messed up where Chan usually messed up—at least, that’s what the boys said. You only hoped that Chan knew this dance well enough for you to not mess up at all right now.

The lights came up, the music started, and your body moved. You didn’t know what you were doing, but you were moving, dancing, singing, an ‘oh thank god’ ringing in your head as you hit every count. You let yourself get carried away in the dance, ignoring the huge audience that, if you paid full attention to, would probably scare you out of your muscle memory.

When the song finally ended, feeling like it had lasted for years, you quickly excited the stage with the rest of the group, out of breath but glowing. You felt incredible. It probably felt even better than it otherwise might have, given that you felt like exactly the opposite of this constantly in your own body. Maybe… maybe it wasn’t worth it. What you were doing to yourself. You didn’t know.

You followed the group to an empty dressing room, being told that you could change and get ready again before heading back out to sit in the audience. Instead of changing, the boys immediately turned to you, cheering and patting your back at a job well done.

You smiled at their praise, but it faded in your ears, replaced by overwhelming dizziness, and then nothing.

It was quiet. Silent. No one was talking anymore. You lifted your head up, seeing your kitchen table, and winced as your exhaustion slammed back into you. Well, great. You were back now. Yay.

Really though, you were happy to be back, if at least it meant that Chan wasn’t suffering anymore. You didn’t deserve to feel happy and energetic if it meant that he felt like this. You chose to do this to yourself, so you would be the one to deal with it. Not Chan.

You stood up slowly, carefully, and walked to your bedroom. You had done enough today. You’d allow yourself a break, an early bedtime. It was Friday, too, so no classes tomorrow. You collapsed on your covers, falling asleep before you could even crawl under the blankets.

When you woke up, it was to three missed calls and ten messages, all from Chan. Whoops. You scrolled through them, reading them with eyes still bleary from sleep.

Are you okay?

Please call me back

[Y/N], I’m worried about you

Please just answer the phone

Are you sleeping?

Just text me if you’re reading these

I’m here for you

You can tell me if something is wrong

[Y/N]

Please answer

Oh, shit. You checked the time. It was eleven in the morning. Shit, you never slept this late. Thank god it was the weekend.

Chan had called you three times last night and sent half the texts. Then he’d texted the last few at eight in the morning. Fuck, he’d been worried about you all night? You hated that you slept through it all.

You quickly typed out a response, not trusting yourself to be able to keep up the act if you talked to him directly.

I’m fine

I’m sorry, I was asleep. I just saw all of these

I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m okay though

Chan’s response came immediately, like he’d been staring at his phone, waiting for a reply. Honestly, he probably was.

Are you sure?

When we switched yesterday, it just seemed like

Well, I don’t know. You just didn’t seem okay

You almost started crying at how nice he was being. He didn’t need to care this much about you. No one else did. You needed him to stop caring.

I swear I’m fine

You don’t need to worry about me, I can take care of myself

Chan took longer to reply this time. His speech bubble popped up and disappeared multiple times before he finally replied with a simple, okay.

You sighed and set down your phone, feeling relieved but also strangely guilty. You got what you wanted—Chan to stop worrying, stop asking if you were okay, at least for now. But you really didn’t like lying to him. Hopefully if he stopped asking, you’d stop needing to lie.

You crawled out of bed, feeling much better than yesterday after all the sleep you’d gotten. You still felt the ever-present rumble in your stomach, but that wasn’t anything new.

Yesterday was one of your worst days, which was mainly just because of the stress and lack of sleep due to the test you had. You usually were much more functional. You felt bad that Chan had experienced that particular day in your life—it wasn’t a good example to go off of.

You walked to the bathroom, beginning your morning routine. You washed your face, did your skincare, and ate a granola bar for breakfast. You got dressed in comfy clothes, not having the need nor the energy to look cute today. Then, you set off to the library. You needed to find a specific book to help with an essay you were working on.

You brought your laptop to the library with you, thinking that the quiet and calming ambience of the building would help you get some essay writing done after you’d located the book. You were right, and you ended up staying in the library for much longer than you’d planned.

By the time you returned home, bag heavy with your laptop and books—okay, so maybe you’d gotten carried away while looking for that one book—your stomach was growling much louder now, upset at being ignored for so long. You paid no attention to it.

You set your bag down and promptly dropped yourself down on the couch, not quite tired enough to call it a ‘collapse’ but still pretty close. You sunk into the comfort of the fluffy pillows, but your relaxation time was soon ended with a knock at your door.

Your eyebrows furrowed. Who would be knocking on your door right now? Your friends weren’t really the type for spontaneous hang-outs, at least not without texting first. You stood up on shaky legs and padded over to the door, opening it.

You were greeted with a very familiar face.

“Chan?” you asked, eyes raking over his gorgeous frame. Everything you’d seen online and in the mirror when you were him—perfect skin, dreamy eyes, and literally everything else about him because he was perfect, despite the mask and hood he currently wore—was now directly in front of you, and my god was he even more incredible to see in person.

Once you’d finished admiring Chan’s beauty, you started to wonder why he was actually here. He seemed incredibly nervous, his eyes were wide and concerned, and he was here standing in your doorway oh my god what was Chan doing at your apartment? He’d said okay, you thought that meant he’d drop the subject, not find where you live and meet you on a random Saturday!

Chan said nothing, instead stepping forward and engulfing you in the most comforting hug you’d ever felt. You froze for a second, surprised, but quickly melted into it, wrapping your arms around him. He held you tighter, like he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go. You felt the unmistakable feeling of your soulmate bond running through you, especially strong now that you were physically meeting and touching each other. Now that you had met, you two would never switch bodies again.

As you stood in your doorway, wrapped in Chan’s embrace, you allowed yourself a moment of happiness. You felt good in his arms. Safe.

He finally let you go, seemingly less nervous than before. You let him into your apartment, not wanting anyone to walk by and recognize him, or even just wonder why you were hugging a random man outside your door.

When you’d closed the door behind him and stood to face him directly, mask and hood off, he finally spoke.

“[Y/N].” Your name sounded like a prayer on his lips. You stood still, waiting to see what he was going to say. Was something wrong? Did he come find you just to stop switching bodies, because it was such a hassle? Was he going to break up with you, if there was even anything to break? The suspense was killing you. Then, he smiled. “You’re even more gorgeous in person.”

Oh. You were not expecting that.

You let out a startled laugh, a self-deprecating smile forming on your face. “What?” You asked, looking down at the sweatpants and ratty crewneck you’d thrown on this morning. You didn’t have any makeup on, your hair was down but definitely frizzy and tangled, and you were wearing your glasses instead of your regular contacts because, like you’d thought this morning, there was no need to look cute today. You were an insane contrast to the effortlessly beautiful man that stood across from you, so much so that his compliment was literally laughable. You couldn’t keep the disbelief from your voice when you spoke.

Chan’s smile dropped at that, eyebrows furrowing as he stepped closer to you, raising a hand to cup your face. He tilted your head up, making you look at him.

“You’re gorgeous,” he said. “You are.” The look in his eyes as he said it was hard to argue with.

“Oh – Okay,” you stuttered. “You’re also, um. Well. You’re the most handsome person I’ve ever seen in my life, I think,” you rambled out, your nerves making you spew out every thought in your head, no matter how embarrassing or badly worded. Chan just chuckled, murmuring out a ‘thanks,’ but you could tell by the slight flush of his cheeks that he felt similar to you.

“What are you—I mean, not that I’m not happy to see you, because I absolutely am, but—what are you doing here?” You asked.

“I needed to see you,” he replied. “I just – I was worried. About you.” The way he said it made you think there was more to the explanation that he wasn’t saying.

“Chan, that’s so sweet, but I told you. I’m fine, there’s no need to worry,” you told him. “Besides, aren’t you, like, a famous idol? Isn’t there some event or practice you need to be in right now?” You didn’t mean to sound like you were trying to push him out, but you didn’t like him being so worried over you. It was embarrassing, really, that he was so worried about something that was so not serious.

“No,” Chan replied, a tad aggressively. He looked hurt, or like he was hurting for you. “No, [Y/N], I’m supposed to be here right now. I got them to let me come because I’m worried about you. Rightfully. Because you’re not fine,” he said, gaining steam as he talked. You were too shocked at how serious he seemed to be on the matter to interrupt. “[Y/N], what I felt when we switched yesterday—that’s not fine. That’s not normal! I – I’d never felt so bad before, and you – you feel like that all the time? That’s not fine, you’re not fine.”

You stood, frozen, as Chan argued. He was worried, stressed. About you. You felt your heart constrict, some unknown feeling flooding through you. No one had ever cared this much. No one had ever even sent a text to check in when you were sick, much less track you down to find you and help you even after being told you were fine and could handle yourself.

Chan cared about you. The realization hit you like a train. He didn’t think you were ugly, he didn’t loathe the fact that he had a soulmate or that you were his soulmate. He didn’t think you were a burden, he didn’t come find you just so you would stop switching bodies. You’d never even met before, only texted for like a month, and he still cared about you so much that he dropped everything after finding out something was wrong to find and help you.

Tears welled in your eyes, and you didn’t have the energy to try to stop them or blink them away. You didn’t have the energy to do anything. You were so tired, so hungry. You’d been doing such a good job at ignoring all the pain and exhaustion you felt for weeks, but now the floodgates were open and everything was rushing out. All it took was a few sentences from Chan, and everything was coming out.

Chan had been waiting for a response from you, it seemed, because he’d just been staring and looking deep into your expression the entire time you’d stood still, thoughts running rampant in your head. Because of his focus, he noticed the second that tears began rolling down your face. He lurched forward, hands coming up to cup your face and thumbs moving under your glasses to wipe away the tears.

As soon as you felt his skin against yours, you went limp. You couldn’t hold yourself up anymore. You fell into him, and he caught you, hands shooting down to hold your waist, steadying you. When it was clear that you would not be regaining your balance any time soon, Chan carefully picked you up and carried you to the couch.

“It’s okay, baby,” he reassured softly. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you, you can let it out. It’s okay.” He rubbed circles on your back with one hand, the other brushing your hair from your face as you cried into his shoulder. You were curled into his side on the couch, leaning fully against him with your head buried in between his neck and shoulder.

He held you until your cries stopped and your breath evened out, not saying anything until you lifted your head to look at him with red-rimmed eyes. You didn’t know what to say. You looked at his shirt, which was now damp with your tears. “I’m sorry,” you let out, voice hoarse from crying. You weren’t sure if the sorry was for the shirt or for forcing him to comfort you as you sobbed.

“No, baby, don’t apologize,” Chan replied, and you didn’t know when or why he started calling you ‘baby’ but you’d definitely be lying if you said you didn’t like it. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah."

“Good,” he smiled, arm still slung around your back, his hand now rubbing soothingly up and down your arm. You weren’t sure if he even knew he was doing it.

“So you–” you hesitated, unsure. You took a deep breath. “You don’t have anywhere else to be? You can – you can stay?” You weren’t used to being so open, so vulnerable with anyone. But with Chan, you felt like you could be.

Chan hummed in agreement. “Nowhere to be,” he said, “I’m staying right here.”

“GOOOOOD MORNING!” han sings from down the hallway, chipper voice bouncing off the walls as he skips out from minho’s room. 

jeongin purses his lips over his iced americano. at least someone slept well – jeongin woke up at the ass crack of dawn to minho’s bedframe ramming against the wall. funnily enough, when he decided to start his day by going to the gym, he ran into chan about to go to bed: red-rimmed eyes from hours of staring at his laptop, noise-cancelling headphones sitting around his neck that he handed to jeongin with a knowing smile. 

han bounces on the balls of his feet as he enters the kitchen, his sickeningly sweet scent cloaking the room: pink pepper and cinnamon, made even spicier with the traces of minho still sticking to him. it burns jeongin’s nose when he breathes it in. 

despite his sour mood, jeongin can feel his alpha stirring over han’s post-heat glow – his full cheeks split with a smile like he didn’t keep the whole house up last night with his hooting n’ hollering. it’s a stark contrast to earlier this week: heat had hit him hard and fast, he looked as if he was on the brink of death.

you and felix did what you could to console him while minho was away at work, keeping han comfortable and cool as he sweated buckets in the plush sheets of the alpha’s bed. the others had stood by the door in worry – even after han had shooed them away in embarrassment of his state – though they could only grind their teeth and swallow down their instinct to help the omega. no one but minho is allowed to touch han while he’s in heat, after all. 

the alpha sure made it up to him, if last night’s cacophony and the love bites littered across his skin were anything to go by – as well as the fact that either had barely emerged from the room since. until now, of course. hopefully this means jeongin can finally get a good night’s rest. 

“feeling better?” seungmin smirks, peering up from his phone. han nods as he lugs the fridge open. “sure sounded like you got it all out of your system.”

jeongin clicks his teeth, pissed off just thinking about it. seungmin narrows his eyes at the young alpha, but han merely shrugs as he inspects an apple, untouchable in his thoroughly-dicked-down haze. “just say you’re jealous.” 

“i am.” seungmin says easily. “just listening to you two has me considering going off my blockers.”

“that bad, eh? well, you know minho’s always got room for you in his bed, seungie.” han coos. he presses a kiss to the younger omega’s hair, pulling a chair out for himself at the table and chowing down on the apple. 

seungmin barks a laugh. “please, only you can take him and live. he’d probably rip me a new one.”

jeongin feels like he could rip something, anything to shreds right now. his alpha bristles under his skin as he sits between the two omegas, provoked for.. honestly, no good reason. maybe it’s the lack of sleep getting to him – this americano has done nothing to relieve the tired weight from his eyelids, or even cool the heat that’s been sizzling restlessly under his skin since he woke up. 

“g’morning,” the grumble of your voice grounds jeongin immediately. the three men perk up like dogs as you trudge into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from your eyes. 

han calls out your name around his cheeks full of the fruit. “you’re up!”

“i thought you went out?” seungmin adds, smiling at how you’re blinking slowly, all cute. “i was looking for you but you weren’t in your room.” 

jeongin cuts him a sharp glance, as if he didn’t also seek you out when he got back from the gym (and after finding that you weren’t there, he may have laid in your bed for a minute or two just ‘cause he was craving your scent or whatever..)

before you can even process where you want to sit, if you were even intending to sit yet, jeongin pulls out the chair right next to him; beckoning you over with a tilt of his head. he catches the other two trading amused glances, but he knows they won’t question it. alpha dominance n’ all that. 

“thanks, innie.” you murmur fondly as he pushes your chair back in, feeling pride and something a bit hotter blooming in his chest. you glance back at seungmin. “did you need me for something earlier?”

“just felt like bothering you.” he shrugs. “so, where’d you go?”

“ah, nowhere. i slept in lixie’s room.”

“what?” seungmin plucks the words right out of jeongin’s head, though spoken at a lower decibel than what he was thinking. “where the hell was my invite?”

you roll your eyes playfully. “it wasn’t like that. he was feeling under the weather last night and wanted to cuddle.” 

aaand jeongin’s heard enough. he feels sick too, but with the disease called jealousy. physically even – the americano starting to swirl wrong in his gut, nausea clawing up the back of his throat. he shifts in his chair, thighs starting to stick to the leather from sweat. 

“innie?” he finds your eyes on him, brows furrowed with your lip pouting a little in concern. “you okay?”

he’d like it if his mouth could open to answer, but his jaw’s sore from how hard he’s been subconsciously clenching his teeth. the words burned out on their way up his throat anyways, because he’s not. he’s anything but. 

he nods profusely when the other two glance at him. he doesn’t want to look weak or anything. it’s just… god, when did the room get so hot? why are the lights so bright? and your scent, your fucking scent, it’s assaulting every crevice of his brain and airing out every thought in there. 

his brain shortcircuits when you reach out and press your palm to his forehead, which he didn’t even realise was so sweaty until your eyes widen from the wetness on your skin. “shit, innie, you’re burning up.”

han studies the young alpha. not in suspicion, but understanding. something settles in his face before he comments: “do you think it could be–?”

he’s interrupted when a certain bedroom door swings open and floods the room with a heady, unmistakable aroma. everyone goes a little stiff from the recognition – owner of said aroma padding into the kitchen, looking radiant as ever even with his mussed blonde bedhair. 

felix says your name in a low, sleepy drawl. “you left me..”

“greedy.” seungmin scoffs. “you had her all night and morning.”

han wraps an arm around felix’s waist when he approaches, rubbing his back and eyeing him keenly. “are you sure you should be out of bed?” 

the blonde omega smelled ripe – intense and sunny, like freshly boiled bergamot tea. when the house starts smelling too strongly of citrus, it’s like an omen of the incoming chaos. jeongin can already feel how his body reacts to the blonde omega’s scent, curling around his alpha like smoke and making his hairs stand on end. 

of course, with one sunshine twin in heat, it was only a matter of time before the other got set off. consecutively, no less. and now the rest are going to fall into their heats and ruts like dominos. 

because with felix, as they love and adore him, his heat alone is enough to set the whole house into a heated frenzy of pheromones. 

it clicks in seungmin’s head as he stares at the two sunshine twins, nuzzling into each other’s warmth and rubbing their wrists together – zest and spice curling around the dining table. “ahh, you’re about to be in heat, yongbok?” 

“it’d be about time,” you add on. “you should lay back down. i’ll wake minho up to cook us some brekky.” 

an annoyed huff leaves jeongin’s nose. you’re too focused on felix’s state to acknowledge it, though seungmin does as his gaze drifts to jeongin. his lip twitches into a smile as he stares at the agitated young alpha, like he knows something jeongin doesn’t– 

oh, no. oh. no no no. 

it all clicks in jeongin’s head with terrifying clarity. why didn’t he realise this sooner? well, he does know why actually. it’s because this is the first time in years he’s felt this way. 

his body is plunging into the first stages of a rut: the mood swings, the insomnia, the way every sound is crushing and every light is blinding. he tries to will himself not to panic as a bead of sweat trickles down his neck. how long has it been now – since his freshman year of college? 

after he first showed as an alpha, he endured only a handful of ruts before going on blockers and swearing by them since. ruminating on that period of his life only brings a wave of shame. he couldn’t tolerate his own biology hindering his performance in school, or worse, others’ treatment of him. 

it helped having an entire pack that understood and supported him, of course. in fact it’s the entire reason he warmed up to the decision of letting his body function naturally. however, going through every stage of grief while sitting at the dining table has made all of his thoughts from when he initially went on blockers slam back into him at full nelson. 

in the same vein of wondering why he even decided to quit them, he remembers the exact justification when he looks to you through half-lidded eyes. 

you’re just too fucking beautiful, simply existing. looking like you’re straight from a vogue cover with your bedhair sitting so perfectly messy, your pyjamas hugging your body so… damn. he might be half-hard. 

he forces his eyes back to your face: your brows drawn, chewing on your lower lip as you keep an eye on felix. ah, you’re always so concerned and caring towards all of them. so sweet. 

as a beta, you’ll never have to live a day where pure, raw need completely takes over your body. that’s not to say you don’t have your own struggles, like in society for instance. despite it all, you’re so in tune and adept at dealing with everyone’s cycles as if you’re drawing from your own experience. they all cherish and adore you for it – jeongin especially. even in a relationship with eight others, you’ve always managed to fluster him like a boy with a crush. 

he often wonders how they managed to bag someone as special as you, back when the pack was just a young throuple of chan, changbin and han. perhaps it was the charm of their leader – jeongin can relate. he caught chan’s eye and the rest is history. 

your scent spikes with concern as you watch han help felix stand upright, the lurking heat turning his limbs to jelly. jeongin breathes in to let your smell calm him, though it instantly has the opposite effect; striking him with a euphoric rush like poppers. 

as you stand from the chair and walk to the dazed blonde, jeongin’s thoughts are consumed with visions of you doing anything but leave his side. he wants to wrap his body around yours and keep you to himself, to splay you on this table and taste your scent gland on his tongue. 

the daydream’s shattered when you give felix a soft peck, scenting him gently with your wrist before han sees him back to bed. 

seungmin puckers his lips at you expectantly, and you shake your head in amusement before giving him a kiss too – one that turns almost heated on seungmin’s part before you pull away.

all that’s left is jeongin, who’s staring you down so intensely your eyes actually widen a little in surprise when you notice. 

he can see the cogs turning in your head: it’s a well known and accepted fact that jeongin’s not the biggest fan of physical intimacy, and he’d rather die than ask for it. but, the way he’s looking at you right now.. well, it looks like someone else might die if he doesn’t get a kiss too. 

your hand slides to cup his jaw. jeongin licks his lips and you lean in – kissing him exactly like you know he’d want it. slow, but with force. what becomes a kiss that lasts too long for you, is a kiss that lasts barely a millisecond for jeongin. 

“okay,” you sigh as you part with him, having to wipe your mouth from how much his tongue ran over your lips. “i’m gonna go wake minho up. i’m starving.”

“me too.” jeongin mutters. both of you know he’s not referring to any food. 

with a brush of your thumb against his chin, a lingering glance at his glossy lips, you’re gone – setting off down the hallway and waltzing into another alpha’s room when you should only want to be in his.

jeongin’s not the possessive type, not like minho at least. jealous though? well, it’s hard to get jealous when your pack is all dating one another, but he’s also been on rut blockers since before he met any of you. his alpha hasn’t shown itself full force like this since he discovered he was one. 

for years now he’s been the one to merely witness it in his partners, never been the one to feel it: the burning under your skin, the churning in your gut, the need burrowed so deeply beneath your bones… and it’s weaving one name over and over into his veins. 

it’s you. it’s all you. his alpha grows restless and claws beneath his flesh – all jeongin can smell, see, think is you, you, you. 

there’s one issue though. 

as the pack’s dear princess and sole beta, you’re quite popular particularly during these bouts of felix making his heat everyone else’s problem. jeongin isn’t really intimate as it stands – pretty selective and reserved when he has an itch to scratch, but it’s not something he does often, and his partners respect that. it’d almost be unlike him to want someone this bad, but his alpha nature is just a part of himself that’s finally off the leash after years and years of suppressing it. 

for fuck’s sake. he wants you and so does everyone else and that’s a fucking problem. because really, he needs you. he’s got years worth of energy backed up and it’s all going to hit him with this imminent rut. it’ll probably be painful. you’re good at dealing with this kind of thing, it’s why everyone asks for you when they’re going through it. 

giggles and groans erupt from down the hall, a mixture of familiar scents wafting into the room. jeongin looks up to see you’ve got not just a moody minho in tow, but also a changbin and a hyunjin who’re shirtless and hanging off of each other. chan will probably rise later with the moon, no doubt. 

jeongin can’t help but sigh, shifting in his seat once again. seungmin just smirks across from him. 

“i’ve got dibs first.” the omega winks, shameless in how his eyes drag over the skin spilling out from your pyjamas. 

the young alpha snarls, but whatever he was going to respond with is lost when changbin ruffles his hair from behind – then saying something along the lines of why in the world he’s so sweaty. 

— 

if you asked jeongin to give a summary of everything that’s happened in this movie so far, he genuinely wouldn’t even be able to name the title for you. he’s not fucking watch this. not since seungmin stole the spot jeongin was gonna take by your side on the couch, definitely not when the omega threw a blanket over your bodies to shield whatever he was planning to do next, and positutely fucking not since jeongin has been eyeing each and every movement beneath said blanket. 

seungmin’s been shameless ever since felix went into heat and the rest followed suite. he’s been unaffected because of his trusty old blockers, but seeing you get down and around with the rest of the pack has made him want a sliver of that attention too. which brings us to now: jeongin, chan, you, and seungmin all sitting on the couch pretending to watch a movie. the rest are either fucking felix through his heat or fucking because of felix’s heat. seungmin actually decided to skip taking his pills yesterday, so his signature jasmine and vanilla is the strongest jeongin’s smelled in months. 

it doesn’t help that the omega’s curled into your body on your shared end of the couch (on the opposite end of jeongin’s, mind you) – arms snug around your shoulders, rubbing his scent gland all up on your neck. the smell’s so sweet jeongin swears he can feel his teeth aching. 

his cock is for sure aching with how horny he’s been. even just your secondhand scent, like your clothes as he does the laundry or when he walks past your room, has been getting him stiff in his pants. your actual presence has been scarce though because, as to be expected, you’ve been a bit busy helping everyone else through their cycles. you’re holed up in a different room each day, making another man cum each day. 

he’s not the possessive type. he’s not. these are his partners just as much as they’re yours. you may have been here longer, and he may be the youngest, but the love in this pack is shared and mutual. there are favourites, naturally – there’s been periods where pairs or even trios have wanted to keep things more ‘exclusive’ for a bit. hell, minho has gatekept han’s heat to himself for as long as jeongin can remember. 

right now, you’re the sole object of his desire. his alpha’s rut has a massive fucking arrow pointing at your beta. he fears there’s not enough of you to go around, because it has been days and jeongin has barely gotten a word in with you. each morning he wakes up in a pool of his sweat, every limb aching and every nerve on fire. anyone he does trade words with has been getting nothing but clipped replies and nasty glares. he swears on everything that he’s fine, but it’s as clear as day that he’s finally going through it like the rest of them. in fact, jeongin’s own honey scent has been as potent as felix’s ripe citrus while in heat. chan described him smelling like an angry beehive. 

he knows he’s more than welcome to call on someone else to help him through it. hell, he usually enjoys intimacy with seungmin the most, but he’s pissing him the fuck off right now and all his alpha wants is you and exclusively you. 

and you know what’s crazy? it’d be so easy to just ask. to say a simple: “hey, scoot over and let me join.” to be honest with his partners in life that he’s in physical pain from how horny he is, and they’d give him relief in a heartbeat. but he doesn’t say anything or do anything. 

he doesn’t want to burden you. time and again you’ve helped others and he hadn’t felt anything quite like this – even though he’s always held a certain fancy for you. jeongin knows his ruts can be.. a lot. too much actually. shit, he started popping suppression pills because he needed to stop the 24/7 cravings to fuck anything if he had any hope of graduating collge. 

those first few ruts have defined his perception of his own nature. he can’t risk overwhelming any of his partners, not when you’re all so tight-knit. especially not you, who’s special, who he’s barely shared any intimacy with as is. he can forget about pulling some guts out of his ass and ask you to share an actual rut with him – even if you’re the only person his body craves, and perhaps the only saving grace from this torture. 

it’s had him seriously consider going back on blockers – to run back to what he’s used to, even if it works against the nature he’s trying to embrace and finally take pride in. taking them when the rut’s already started would only bring a fresh slew of pain, though he’d doubt it’d even bother him over everything else raging in his mind and body. 

“i’m going to bed,” chan says suddenly, slapping his knees as he gets up from the couch. “the smell of you both has made me insanely hard. goodnight, i love you all.”

chan excuses himself to his room, foregoing giving you all his usual goodnight kisses because he’d probably pounce instead. you giggle from under seungmin’s body sandwiching you into the couch. jeongin breathes in, your scent filling his lungs – except there’s traces of seungmin’s sticky vanilla curled there too, from just how much he’s scented you. 

that actually gets on jeongin’s last nerve. 

the young alpha stands abruptly, ignoring your confused glances as he storms off without a word and slams his bedroom door behind him. 

he slumps against the door, pressing his palms into his eyes until colours burst behind his lids. he opens them again, blinks until reality blots back into focus. he glances down and sees the massive pitch in his sweats. then he laughs, crushing his forehead between his fingers. 

he’s so hard he could cry. god, does he want you. to the point it hurts. 

hewantsyouhewantsyouhewantsyouhewantsyouhe–

he palms the front of his sweats, hissing at the barest relief it brings, your face in his mind. 

hewantsyouhewantsyouhewantsyouhewantsyouhe–

the shuffling of fabric punctuates his heavy breathing as he wraps a tight fist around himself and fucks into it. not even moving his hand – keeping it stationary as he imagines it’s your warm, wet hole instead. 

heneedsyouheneedsyouheneedsyouheNEEDSYOUHE–

with a fateful jerk of his hips he spills onto the floor, muffling a sob behind his palm. 

jeongin slumps back against the door. well, that did nothing to relieve it. just like the multiple other times he already jerked off today, yesterday, the day before that and so on. he’s still hard, still horny, still not satisfied. 

he sighs, nearly slips on the cum as he grabs some tissues to wipe it up, then flops onto his bed. 

his cock twitches as it rubs against his plush mattress, but he doesn’t even bother attempting to reach another orgasm. it’d do nothing to satiate the bottomless pit of lust inside him. 

he stuffs his face into the pillow and essentially suffocates himself until black swallows him into sleep. 

—

jeongin woke up and instantly wished he hadn’t. just a second ago, you were there: on top of him, dragging your teeth across his scent gland and making him see stars. just a second ago, he felt some semblance of relief as he came in the circle of your fist. 

then, his eyes snapped open to the dark of his bedroom – and to the absence of you. in place of your hand was nothing but a pathetic, wet pool staining the fabric of his boxers. 

jeongin kicked his sheets off like they were personally responsible for his wet dream (he did add a spritz of your perfume to his sheets so, honestly maybe they were). he haphazardly checked his phone – the digits ‘3:41’ mocking him as they stared back – before launching it into his mattress and storming off to the shower. 

jeongin felt like a walking corpse. a zombie that craved pussy instead of brains. a body set to flames. 

it felt like millions of needles trying to burst from under his skin, like his organs were coated in molten lava. the ice cold water stream on full blast did nothing to cool the restless fire burning him from the inside out. 

the walls around him spun endlessly, his stomach churning in sync with it. when his throat started to sear with bile, jeongin began to pray. 

it was answered, if just for a moment – the nausea subsiding just long enough for him to trudge out of the bathroom, pull on some fresh boxers and collapse into his bed. 

the rut’s hitting him with everything he’s worth. the wet dream had been the warning, and after he dragged himself to the shower and back, he hasn’t left bed. he can’t. 

everything is pissing him off. the way his blanket scratches his skin, the way he’s shivering in a puddle of his own sweat. the way his head throbs with a migraine. the way his cock stands upright, indifferent to his suffering, demanding release. 

it’s too fucking hot in here. he needs you so bad he could literally throw up. his phone’s buzzed a few times, laying at his feet from where he threw it, but he can’t find the strength to even lift a finger to go check it. all of the blood in his system is rushing south to his greedy cock, leaving him light-headed and limp. he doesn’t even have enough water left in his body to cry. has anyone ever died from a rut? fuck, if not he’ll be the first. only divine intervention could save him now. 

“innie?”

it sounds so distant, so faraway that jeongin concludes it’s a hallucination. he must be dead already. 

“innie, hey,”

ah, so his last moments are spent imagining your voice calling to him. he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

“yang jeongin!” 

he has a full-body jolt like he’s been struck with electricity. he blinks thrice to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him – that you’re actually standing at his bedside, that you’re real and that he’s still very much alive. 

“hey,” you say, relieved. “what’s going on?” 

he replies in his head, but his mouth doesn’t get the memo – nothing but a strained noise leaving his throat. 

you frown, looking at him with such pity he wished the ground would open up and swallow him. you place a plastic bottle of water on his bedside table before sitting gently on the edge of the bed, like you’re afraid of taking up too much space. your hand reaches out to brush a sweat-soaked strand of hair from his forehead, tender touch lingering at his cheekbone as your solemn eyes leave his face. 

you watch the rise and fall of his chest under the blanket before pulling it back from his bare chest: flushed red and covered in a thick layer of sweat. 

the state he’s in shocks you stiff for a moment. you throw the rest of the cover off of him, air hitting his legs. your thumb circles his cheek as you take in the rest of his body, eyes catching on the visible bulge in his boxers. 

“figured you must’ve been going through it..” you lament. “innie, why didn’t you say anything?” 

his mouth’s too dry to form any words, so he just shakes his head. you sigh and reach for the water bottle, slipping your hand to his back and gently guiding him upright. 

“here.” you tap the bottle to his lips, and he tilts his head back obediently. the water pours down his throat and he groans from the instant relief it brings. he even leans into it, downing the entire bottle in record time. 

droplets trickle down his chin as he watches you cap the empty bottle. you clear your throat, looking like you’re a little thirsty yourself after that. 

jeongin coughs to test his voice, before muttering a “thank you.” 

“it’s nothing.” you murmur, breathless. “can i do anything else to help?” 

that gives him pause. he’s had the past few days to say something and hasn’t, but the need is flashing hot in his system and overrides any other thought in his skull. his cock pulses in his boxers just at the thought of you ‘helping’, and of course, you catch it in your peripheral. your throat bobs as you take in the sheer size of him straining – what must be painfully – against the fabric. 

“i don’t want to just leave you while you’re like this,” you say, exasperated. “if you want someone else to take care of you, i could go get–”

“–no!” he cuts in, sitting upright. your brows shoot up in surprise. “i don’t want anyone else.” his voice delivers frustrated, like it’s unfathomable he wouldn’t want you. 

jeongin shuffles closer, his hands twitching in his lap as he just barely restrains the urge to reach for you. his grip would probably leave bruises. 

his breath hitches, the words to just ask lodging in his throat on the way up. you wait, patient, and he knows you won’t move without explicit permission. you’re considerate like that. 

jeongin swallows down a boulder.

“please.” 

it’s so quiet, he’s not even sure he got it out until your face changes – confusion sliding into understanding. 

you cup his face reverently. “tell me what you want, and i’ll do it.” 

he nearly gasps in relief as he says, “please, kiss me.” 

in the next blink your lips are on his, gentle with the state he’s in. on the contrary, jeongin kisses you so hard your teeth knock and your head cranes back. days worth of needing and suppressing is drawn taut inside him. he licks into your mouth, moaning just over the taste of you on his tongue. you’ve kissed before – gotten a little physical, but never the whole way. and certainly never this passionate. 

everyone has differing libidos and boundaries with intimacy. you understand that, you’ve always been careful with jeongin because of that. 

but that was him on suppression pills – quite literally blocking a part of himself out. he is selective with who he lets touch him, so the fact that he only wants to share this rut with you? well, if that doesn’t speak magnitudes about how much you’re his favourite, he doesn’t know what will. 

your fingers thread through his hair as you kiss him, meeting him halfway as you attempt to match his energy. jeongin still doesn’t trust himself to reach for you and not accidentally hurt you, so he settles for gripping his own thighs – the throbbing between them growing more incessant with each swipe of your tongue against his.

jeongin kisses you like he’s on the brink of starvation. like your mouth is the air he breathes. his spit mixes with yours, and with the low groan he lets out when your teeth scrape his bottom lip. 

he doesn’t even know the words to ask anymore, and if he did he wouldn’t be able to get them out. all he needed was you here, your warmth on his tongue. and that’s enough for his cock to twitch violently when his hand creeps over the front of his boxers. 

you pull back slightly at the stream of breathy noises from him, blinking at how he’s palming himself almost roughly. he doesn’t give you a chance to question him before he’s diving back in, swallowing your sentence into his mouth. 

jeongin’s still burning, the rut still prickling beneath his flesh and churning in his guts. but it all feels good. euphoria pumps through his blood, leaves his head foggy and his cock pulsing your name. he shoves his hand down the front of his pants, closing his fingers around his cock and jerking off as best he can manage in the cramped space, just to the feel of your lips on his. 

honestly, he imagined he’d have to tank the rut pains and just suffer through it as opposed to asking you for help – so your presence at minimum is enough to have him close to orgasm. 

as his groans turn quicker and higher, you part with him agan; eyes on his panting face as he jerks off to your pretty one. he can see the words on the tip of your tongue – you want to offer to help, but god you don’t want to interrupt either. you’re in awe of him. you’ve never seen jeongin this desperate. no one has, actually. 

your fingers creep down from the scruff of his hair and glide down his neck, then dip into his scent gland. jeongin moans, his vision whiting out from the sensitivity, from your soft fingers pressing on the tender spot. as if on command, he cums into his fist – your name on his tongue. 

with an exhale over ruining yet another perfect pair of boxers, jeongin opens his eyes, half-expecting it all to have been one crazy fever dream. you’re still here, though; looking at him like you could eat him up. 

“more.” is all he says. 

it’s as if he didn’t just cum with how his cock still stands upright and tents his soiled boxers, with how he’s hardly even out of breath. if anything it’s like he’s less tired now that he’s got one orgasm out of his system.

“tell me.” you reply, voice a little strained. you don’t go through cycles like the rest of them, but their pheromones can affect you all the same, and jeongin’s sickly sweet honey scent is driving you up the wall.

the fact he hasn’t reached for you yet isn’t lost on you – much like the fact that he didn’t tell a soul that he was going through a rut. you take the initiative by grabbing his wrists and planting his hands on your breasts. it’s like a neuron activates with how his hands immediately close in and knead the flesh between his fingers. jeongin swears he can feel his mouth watering. 

“anything, please, just you is enough.” he near-pleads. he’s an alpha, his instinct is to command and to be obeyed, and yet he is melting in your hands. the ‘natural hierarchy’ is nonexistent where the pack is concerned anyways. 

you smile, kissing the drool from the corner of his mouth as you reach for his waistband and tug. he lifts his ass a little to help you pull down his boxers enough for his cock to spring free, slapping against his stomach and leaving a string of pre. 

“lay back,” you urge him, and he obeys without thinking (hands still on your boobs). 

you kiss him, restraint now an afterthought as you put your all into it. he proved how much he wanted you by just jerking off while looking at you – and you’d be crazy to not give him the relief he’s so desperately seeking. 

you leave a one last kiss on his lips before travelling south, switching between nipping and licking at his skin as your mouth trails along his jaw. you nose his scent gland, licking a stripe up his pulse and delighting at how he has a full-body jolt over it. 

you ravage the expanse of his torso with your tongue and teeth, pulling heavenly noises from him, before at last being at level with his weeping cock. it’s flushed as red as jeongin was when you first walked in on him half-conscious and burning up beneath the blanket. 

you lick your lips. “you tell me if it’s too much or if you want to stop, okay?” 

“i won’t.” he says, reaching for your hair to hold and keep out of your face. “you tell me.”

you lip twitches into a smirk, one that accepts the unspoken challenge there. “alright.” 

you dart your tongue the whole way out, catching jeongin off guard by starting off with kitten licks on his tip. he giggles, shivering at the barest contact. 

you apply pressure with your tongue, sliding down to the base and back up, licking deliberately hard on his frenulum. jeongin’s leaking way too much cum to be considered pre. he has so much to give, and each swipe of your tongue on his cock has even more pre spilling from the tip. 

he’s not shy about how good it feels either: steady groans falling from his mouth, punctuated by soft whimpers that he doesn’t even realise. 

growing impatient yourself, you catch jeongin off guard when you just grab the base of his dick. he winces, his veins pulsing under the ridges of your palm. it’s all the warning he gets before your lips close around his tip and you take his entire length into your mouth – right until it hits the back of your throat. you don’t even gag when even more precum spills out. 

he moans, already overwhelmed and feeling his stomach tightening rapidly just from the warmth of your throat hugging his cock, but you’re far from done. 

you let saliva fill your mouth before you start bobbing your head, your hand jerking off whatever your mouth can’t reach. jeongin’s on cloud fucking nine. he’s trying his best to hold back, to not just fuck up into the hot hole of your mouth but man, you’re not making it any easier when you hum each time his tip hits the back of your throat. 

his hands tighten in your hair as he barely holds on by a thread of restraint, and you make an appreciative noise around him that has his hips bucking unintentionally. he curses, in apology but also because it felt too good. 

you don’t mind though. you encourage it. and you show him exactly that by going even harder, provoking him to get rough with you and let it all out. you twist your wrist and you lap at his tip like crazy, bobbing your head all the while and humming around his cock. 

“f–uck, ah, tell me–” he trails off, too lost in the sauce to remember what he was gonna say before he holds your head in place, plants his feet on the mattress, and fucks his hips up into your mouth like no tomorrow.

you let him take over, smiling around his cock as he fervently chases the orgasm he so deserves. saliva and precum fill up your mouth and leak down to his balls but jeongin can’t feel anything but the hot, wet, tight hole you’ve so eagerly offered to him. he swears he can feel the rut pains easing from his body with each thrust. 

jeongin cums with a shout, shooting his load down your throat with one fateful thrust. his body goes completely limp, pulling out of your mouth – but you close your lips in time to make sure nothing seeps out. 

jeongin watches your throat bob as you swallow his cum down, and his dick twitches over the sight. 

“you’re so perfect.” he murmurs, almost in disbelief that he even gets to have someone like you to himself (especially with seven partners as needy as he is who must be waiting for their turns.)

you smirk at how his cock is still as hard as it was when you sat on the bed. usually, there’s breaks as you help a partner through a rut or heat. jeongin’s seen you leave the room for water and such as said partner slept or just needed a breather before getting on with another round. 

that’s not jeongin, though. 

his ruts are restless. sickening greed. he’s never had a partner who’s able to keep up with him, or even tolerate him and his incessant need to fuck. that’s not the jeongin any of the pack knows, since he’s been on blockers since they all first started dating him. but that’s who he’s always been – and now you’re the first to be introduced.

“more?” you ask him, a giddy grin across your cheeks. 

he nods, flashing that dimpled smile you adore. “more.”

jeongin makes the move himself this time as he grabs your shoulders and hoists you up until you’re at face level. you giggle at his newfound confidence, and he can’t help but do the same. 

you make quick work of pulling down your shorts, tossing them somewhere in the room. jeongin arches a brow at your lack of underwear. 

“was betting on not needing to wear any,” you add. 

he faux-pouts. “i was gonna ask to keep them.”

“you can take the shorts.” you roll your eyes playfully. “who are you and what have you done with my innie?” 

both hands grab your ass with a light smack, making you squeak. “what do you mean? i haven’t felt so much like myself in years.” 

you smile at him fondly, twirling a strand of hair around your finger. “fair. i’m not complaining, though. just didn’t expect you to have such a high drive..” 

“i am an alpha, pretty girl.” he coos. “just thought it was about time i start acting like it.” 

“hm.. i think you can go harder.” 

“yeah?” 

“mhm.” 

jeongin’s tongue pokes his cheek. your eyes sparkle, successfully spurring him on. 

jeongin snarls as he spreads your cheeks apart with a bruising grip, pushing your ass down until his cock ruts against your wet folds. 

“oh fuck,” he lets out a cry at the delicious friction, cock twitching when his tip bumps your clit. “fucking shit, i can’t,” 

“i can take it.” you urge him, shifting your hips to line your hole up with his cock. all it’d take is one good thrust and he’d be sliding home. “innie, i want it all.” you leave a kiss on his lips, one that’s soft given the circumstances. “do your worst.” 

jeongin curses again, rolling over and taking you down with him. you’re pliant as he presses you into the bed, laying on top and lining himself back up. 

he holds his breath as he finally nudges into your pussy, pushing in deliberately slow just to savour the way you pulse around him and adjust to his shape. his cock slides in with ease with how drenched you are, and he lets out a moan once his hips meet your ass with a light clap as he bottoms out.

“fuckfuckfuck,” he’s bumbling in your ear from behind, every thought fizzling out because your pussy’s got him dumb. he waited for this. put himself through avoidable pain while yearning for this, dreaming for this. he already figured why you’re everyone’s favourite, why they all call on you to spend a heat or rut with. but now jeongin’s feeling it firsthand: pulsing and gripping around his cock like a vice. 

he snaps his pelvis, and you both sob in tandem. the angle’s good – he’s all up in there in the right ways. he soils his balls in your arousal as he grinds forward, making sure you feel each inch dragging against your walls. 

“fuuuck, feels too fucking good.” he grunts, pulling out to the tip just to slam back in and have you both jostling up the bed from the force. “i’d fight for this pussy.” 

your giggle’s lost in a gasp as he starts to fuck you ruthlessly, cock ramming into your g-spot with each of his pointed thrusts. 

jeongin snakes a hand around the front of your neck, splaying his fingers out to press in to your scent glands on either side of your neck. the noise you let out damn nearly makes him cum on the spot, and his effort to not is nearly in vain when you clamp down around his cock from the sensitivity. 

he moans, pressing his palm further into your throat. not hard enough to hurt, but enough pressure to leave your head fuzzy as he fucks into you like a madman – swiping a thumb across your tender gland whenever he wants to feel you squeeze the life out of his cock. 

his head falls down to your shoulder, and you shiver at the cold metal of his chain hitting your skin. 

“i don’t want any of them having this,” jeongin hisses, running his tongue over your scent gland, your sweet taste lighting up his palate as you clench down on his cock as if on instinct. “shit, ugh, want this pussy to be mine– all fucking mine.”

“innie!” you cry out, fireworks bursting behind your eyelids as he rubs the scent gland on his neck right up on yours – the taste of honey on the back of your throat. 

he snarls, resisting the urge to just bite down and leave a mark on the spot – a statement to anyone who tries to scent you. he was here first, and it’s his from now on. 

he settles on your shoulder, sinking his teeth into the skin and revelling in how your body responds. he leaves a patch of bites there: soothing each sting with his tongue. 

“wan.. wanna see you,” you all but sob, helpless to the noises jeongin’s pulling from you by hitting your g-spot just right each time. 

“fuck.”

it’s all fast movement from there, jeongin not even pulling out as he leans back enough to spin you over and have you laying facing him. when he fucks you again, it’s somehow even harder – his chain dangling in your face with each hard thrust. 

you could almost laugh at the irony of it being a cross. you pull jeongin’s face down by the chain, makin a show of biting the metal cross between your teeth as fucks you. 

he grunts, lashes flutter.. and then he loses it. 

“shitfuck–ah ah–” he’s whimpering, mind completely honed in on how you’re spasming around him and moaning around his chain in your mouth. he shoots a hand down to your pussy, rubbing quick eights onto your clit, and you all but scream as he sends you into an orgasm. 

you squeeze down around his cock and wring him out for all he’s worth as he cums in tandem with you, muffling his pathetic moan around your neck as he sucks a bruise onto your scent gland. 

even after both of your orgasms, jeongin’s still fucking you, just to feel the mess of your cum gushing around his cock. you’re long past sensitive, writhing under his body keeping you pressed into the mattress – and yet you still moan when you feel a fresh load of warm cum seep into your pussy, jeongin trembling above you after reaching yet another orgasm. 

he pulls out slowly, careful to let as little as possible seep out. ideally, he wants his cum to still be there the next time you fuck someone else. he wants whoever it is to taste him and think of him as they eat you out. 

on that note… 

jeongin shuffles down your body, greedy hands prying your jelly thighs apart and licking his lips at the sight of your messy, wet hole. 

“please sit on my face?” 

you laugh, head lolling back on the bed. “here i was thinking you were done.” 

jeongin clicks his tongue. “baby, this is foreplay.” 

—

for the first time all day, jeongin retrieves his phone from the spot he left it and checks the time. 

3:42.

damn, it’s been a whole day since he woke up knocking on death’s door. he almost forgot that happened with how he’s spent the last countless hours sucking and fucking his beautiful girlfriend. 

you curl into his side, seeking out his warmth even after an entire day of feeling that same warmth all up in your guts. 

he kisses the crown of your head, admiring how cute you are cuddled into him like this. he feels his cock stirring, but he’s not so evil he’ll wake you up from the sleep you very much deserve after dealing with a rut as high maintenance as his. 

it’s okay. none of your other partners have come knocking at the door, so he’s sure they won’t mind if jeongin needs you for another day. just in case the rut pains come back, of course. 

jeongin’s bedroom door swinging open cuts through the moment of peace – both of you jolting upright in bed, squinting to make out the illuminated figure standing in the doorway who dare disturb your slumber. 

“yah, she was trying to sleep.” jeongin whisper-yells. 

“well i can’t because i’ve been bricked up all day.” seungmin says bluntly. “sooo you doing me next or what??”

Smut warnings: Kissing. Biting. Dry humping. Hands on neck (front and back) for control. Reader has a wet pussy. Nipple and breast play. BigDick!Chris. Scratching. Oral sex (male and female receiving). Cum eating. Fingering. Squirting. Unprotected sex. Christopher kink. Multiple orgasms. Primal play. Breeding king. Possessive!Chris. Dacryphilia. Knotting.

Chris Bahng has been in the woods for most of his adult life. There is a cabin on the far north end of the Horizon Forest that he calls home. Not many people make it so far North and that is how he likes it. The seclusion. It’s what he chose.

What he deserves.

Until you stumbled upon his land during the last few weeks of spring, with the scent of fear and sorrow seeping from you. Strong enough that he smelled you before he heard you trip and fall. Your whimper was the last thing he heard, his hearing elevated due to his nature. 

His wolf instantly alerts at the sound, wanting to seek you out. Minutes pass and no sound or movement comes from the south, where he last heard you. His wolf is restless under his skin, making him pace the length of his front room.

Sighing heavily, he slips into his boots and heads off to find you. Following your heart beat, he quickly makes his way so he can see you. He stops when he comes up to your body, careful not to make a sound in case you were armed. It wouldn’t hurt him but he didn’t want to deal with explaining why.

You’re curled on the ground, a pack at your side and your hands curled tightly to your chest inside of the heavy black coat. Your eyes are closed and your heart beat is steady. You passed out. As he gets closer, he sees your face is cut like you ran through the low branches surrounding his property. 

He smells the heartbreak on you as he takes in the tear streaked face. Someone hurt you and he feels his wolf snarl at the thought. 

This is bad. 

He circles you slowly, checking for weapons before he shoulders your pack and lifts you into his arms with ease. You do not stir, not even when Chris adjusts you so your head can rest on his shoulder as he starts the slow trek back to his cabin in the dark.

You slipped in and out of consciousness for the first few days. He learned your name and a few other things about you. After you regained some strength, he asked you why you were in the middle of the woods. Your answer shocked him and he had to force himself to remain calm and in the glider across the bedroom as his wolf wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and protect you.

It was a couple minutes before you spoke but the sorrow that flowed off of you made him clench his jaw and curl his fingers into fists.

“My fiancé was going hiking with some of his work friends, his high school sweetheart included. He knew how she made me feel but he always said there was nothing to worry about.” Your hands shake in your lap, having nothing to do with the chill of the season making the leaves surrounding the cabin change color. 

“I’m not athletic, like they are so any chance they got they would tease me about holding them up or saying that I should consider staying behind. I guess I tripped one too many times and the last time, he decided to leave me to continue the hike claiming he was going to set the tents up.” Your eyes fill with tears and your bottom lip wobbles so hard you pull it between your teeth and take a couple of deep, shaky breaths.

“When I questioned him about leaving me, he just said that he told me not to come. That I wasn’t cut out for that type of activity.” You scoff as you remember how his high school sweetheart smirked behind him before smiling when he stood and turned around. “He said to rest and meet them at the site when I cooled down and my jealousy was gone. Then he just left me.”

Taking a deep breath with a shrug, you look up into beautiful amber eyes. “I got lost on my way back to the ranger station and then just kept getting turned around. I remember I fell over a log and then I woke up a couple days ago here.” 

Chris was still the entire time you told your story and when you finished, silent tears rolling down your cheeks, he lost to his wolf. He was up and sitting on the edge of his bed, his hand gently cupping your face. His wolf yips with joy at finally getting to touch you, even if you smell like sorrow and humiliation. “What he did was wrong.”

At this, the dam breaks and your sobs rattle your frame. You go to cover your face but Chris pulls you to him, wrapping his arms around you, hoping that if he held you tight enough, he could keep your heart from shattering. His hand rubbed soothing circles on the small of your back as his other hand cupped the back of your neck to support your head as you cried into his chest.

Eventually, you cried yourself out and fell asleep against him. The warm scent of cedar and musk surrounding you more than his flannel sheets did. With your body limp in his arms, Chris gently lays back on the bed with you, wanting you to keep you close, vowing so long as you’re at his cabin, he won’t leave you scared and vulnerable like your human.

This might have been your favorite part of the Forests. 

In the middle of fall, all the leaves have fully abandoned their green in favor of red, yellows, orange, and brown. Horizon is thick and lush with plant and wild life, the days are filled with the ambiance of birds and other little animals scurrying across the first floor. 

After the sun goes down, while there are plenty of trees surrounding this spot, the moon and her stars are unfiltered. It was something Chris said he did on purpose when having the house built. He specifically used the trees in the area for it and made sure there were enough taken down to leave a nice, wide opening for the sun and the moon.  

There are no lights outside unless you bring one so that means no light pollution.  Absolutely nothing to ruin your view of the trillions of stars, their constellations, and the waning moon. This is your second favorite part. 

After he found you, you returned home for a total of two weeks before you were packing a bag. Leaving your ring on the coffee table of the apartment you shared with your fiance. You left with no real idea of where you were going but you found yourself at Horizon Forest. You got out of your car, not really sure where his house was but you decided to give yourself an hour to find familiar territory before turning back and going to the next town.

It’s like you were called back. With only minutes to spare, there he was, at the edge of his property.

You look up from the map you have in your hand to see Chris just standing there, his arms crossed over his chest as he watches you. You stop, rooted in place. Your face is flushed from the walk but it deepens upon seeing him again. You had no real plan, no idea what you were doing.

All you knew was you wanted to be near him.

Chris felt you before he saw you. The pull has been getting stronger, the closer to the full moon. He goes out to the edge of his property and waits. It’s almost an hour before he sees you, a small smile comes to his lips but he wipes it from his face by the time you look up. 

White hot rage replaces his happiness to see you.

You’re pale, almost sickly so. He remembers the shape and curve of your body having held you in his arms while you cried thinking you were too thin for your stature then. But now? Now you’re so frail, barely holding yourself up. The little shine and bounce that your hair had two months ago is gone. Your eyes are dull and bloodshot. 

What happened to you in those two months? How can he help you? Did you come for help? 

“You came back.” His voice is rough but quiet in the space between you. 

“I don’t know why but this cabin, with you, is more home than anything I have ever felt.”

Without a word, he crosses the space and stops in front of you. His eyes are still the stunning amber yellow color you remember, a softness to them. His face is tired but you see no other emotion on it until he reaches out and grabs your bag. 

With your bag on his shoulder, he nods his head in the direction of his cabin. “Welcome home.”

Now, three and a half months later, you’re tucked under a thick woven blanket that you made as you sit on the front porch with your tea. Chris takes nightly runs through the forest, saying the cool evening air helps to calm his mind after his day. 

Tonight, you see him jogging up the path with something in his hand. When he gets to the foot of the steps, that is when you realize what it is, a single sunflower between his fingers. 

“My favorite flower.” You whisper as he hands it to you, a soft flush on his cheeks. 

“I know.” He nods into the cabin. “They’re all over your laptop.”

You stand, realizing once again how large he is. You come up to his shoulder but he is so broad he actually hides you from view when people come to visit. 

Chris leans down and picks up the blanket that slipped from your lap and takes the empty mug of tea from you. He nods to the front door before following you inside.

The fireplace is still warm from when he built it for you to bake and cook dinner on it. The smell of lamb, rosemary, and potatoes is still heavy in the air. You hear his stomach growl from behind you as he leaves the door open, the storm door closes to let some of the heat escape. Neither of you sleep well in the heat and Chris is a furnace on his own. 

You started sharing a bed, platonically, only a few weeks ago. While you don’t like to sleep hot, the cabin gets very cold at night. Too cold for your human body to handle. Chris thrives in the cold and always sleeps more soundly the colder the cabin gets. 

Except when he heard your teeth chattering. That woke him up from his sleep instantly and within seconds he was back in his room, laying down over the blankets and pulling you close. You stammered and tried to fight but as his warmth seeped into your skin, you quickly stopped and tucked yourself against him. His soft chuckle was the last thing you heard as you fell asleep, feeling safer and warmer than you have in months.

“Are you still hungry? I can dish you up some more stew.” You head to the small kitchen to get a glass for the flower before setting it on the little table you two share meals at.

“I can get it.” He smiles softly and slides a hand over your shoulder as he passes you on his way to the fireplace. 

Smiling to yourself, you turn and busy yourself with slicing some of the cinnamon bread you made and grabbing a couple of rolls for Chris, turning to set them on the table. He’s already there, his pewter bowl of stew steaming. He has his tablet open, scrolling through some of the news articles to read what has come out in the last few hours.

Sitting across from him, you pick back up your crochet project. You’re making him a cardigan, he doesn’t know it yet since it’s in a deep pine green color instead of his usual black. His beautiful tanned skin would look really good with this color and you’re excited to give it to him once it’s completed. 

The silence between you is never uncomfortable, never has been. You’re what you believe to be soul companions. The connection formed as Chris has helped you heal from your trauma that led you to him. The humiliation, the body shaming, and much more. He’s a man of few words but you can see it in his eyes, the patience and constant support as you work through your issues. 

After he finishes his stew and the rolls you set out for him, you slide the rest of your cinnamon bread to him, smiling when he meets your eyes. “I made extra loaves this time. Have as much as you want.”

“You’re the best.” He returns your smile as he picks up a slice. He eats in silence as you crochet before he speaks up. “I’m going to be gone for a couple of days next week.”

“Ah, the monthly meeting?”

He nods. “Yeah, it’s that time again.”

Every month Chris has to go with his work for a monthly meeting on the southwest side of the forest. He’s usually gone for about five days and comes back exhausted. The first time he came back, he slept in the small shed he was working to convert into a greenhouse for three days. You always left him food and water, happy to see that when you would bring the next round, he had finished off what you left. 

“Will you show me how to get the fire going so I can restart it while you’re gone?”

He nods again, mouth full this time. You smile and turn your attention back to your hands. 

“I’m sorry that I have to leave you.” Your hands freeze but you don’t look up at him just yet so he continues. “With the winter coming, I’ll show you how to do anything you want to learn. You’ll still be safe here and stocked so I’ll be able to come back and see your beautiful face.”

You flush instantly at the complement. It’s the first time he’s called you beautiful and you try not to let your heart flip around in your chest too much. Slowly, you look up to see him flushed, his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks down at the now empty plate in front of him. 

His amber eyes, currently not currently they’re usual amber but a little darker, meet yours and you gasp. “Chris, your eyes? Do they-,”

“Ah, it must be the fire.” Instantly he is up with his back to you as he stokes the fire back to life. 

You furrow your brow and tilt your head feeling confused. Usually as the fire is reduced to embers, that is when you two go to bed and that would have been soon but now that he has built it again, that is postponed. 

At least for him.

You start packing up your project and stand to get the dishes to the sink so you can wash them but Chris gently takes your wrist. “I’ll get them. I can tell you’re tired.” Slowly, he releases your wrist and moves his hand to cup your cheek. You tilt your head into it, without thinking and look up at him from under your full lashes, his eyes once again amber. His thumb caresses the blush on your skin before there is a small tug at the corner of his lips. 

“I’ll come to bed after the fire goes out.” His voice is soft as he drops his hand and takes the dishes to the sink. You still haven’t moved as the water runs. Taking a trembling breath, you grab the woven basket you keep your supplies in and head to the bedroom. 

To say you’re not attracted to Chris would be a lie. His black hair is longer right now than usual with his amber eyes, honeyed skin, and the muscles on his frame make him very easy on the eyes. 

But that’s not what makes your stomach flip.

It’s the soft moments like you just had. The moments when you do something and he catches you fumbling, he’ll come help with a soft chuckle and a quiet “cute”. Not to be condescending but because he genuinely thinks you’re adorable. Then there are nights when he beats you to bed and his bedside light is sending a golden glow through the room when he looks at you with something primal, hungry. 

You’ll come to bed in shorts and a shirt, one of his, and he’ll take you in slowly as you move about the room. You’ll feel his gaze burn over your curves and sear into your plush thighs as you rub lotion over yourself. Every so often you will catch his eyes in the mirror, the darkest you have seen them before he blinks and looks down at the book in his hand.

Chris isn’t immune to you. He is in fact more affected than he expected to be. His wolf yips when you’re near and you touch him or let him touch you. When you first arrived and were in so much pain, his wolf whined and howled for you. Now, as you two have shifted into something more comfortable, it’s getting harder to control those urges from his wolf. The want. The hunger. The all consuming need for you that has been slowly brewing over the months. 

It pains him to leave every full moon but he refuses to tell you anything until he feels you are ready. Let alone, tell you about the rut that he has to endure alone before the actual moon. There is no meeting, there never has been. He sends himself as far away from you so he can keep you as safe as possible during the day.

At night, that is a different story. 

On the night of the full moon, Chris is in his wolf form. Sleek all black fur with amber eyes, standing as tall as you, power and lean. 

At night, he returns, crossing the forest in record time to watch over you as you sleep in the bed you share with his human form. He sits a patience vigil outside the cabin, a view into the room so he can see you but still remains hidden. He will wait until your breathing evens out and you give into the day, slipping into your dreams. Sometimes your dreams are quiet, sometimes you cry out and his wolf whimpers softly, wanting to comfort you.

On the nights where your dreams leave you alone, he will hunt the surrounding area, making sure to stay close in case you somehow wind up in danger. The nights where you’re tossing and turning, whimpering, with tears spilling down your cheeks, he lays below the window, pressed up to the house. That is as close as he will allow himself to get in his wolf form. Until he tells you the truth.

Which he plans to do, very soon. 

He hears you getting ready for bed in the other room as he busies himself with dishes that were clean minutes ago. Chris is just trying to clear his mind. The closer the full moon gets, the harder he has to fight his wolf. As you spend more time together, his wolf becomes more and more attached. The primal side of him begging to claim you is why he spends extra days away. He doesn’t want to hurt you. It would destroy him.

“Chris?! What happened?”

He jolts out of his head and back into the present. The water is still running and the bowl he had in his hands has broken. The jagged piece slicing the skin of his palm clean open. Holding his bleeding hand under the water, he turns his head to see you standing there in your usual cold weather pajamas.

One of his shirts and a pair of leggings. 

It started all because you forgot to grab sleep clothes. You managed to grab the important things, like your medicines (mostly supplements) but pajamas were not on the list. He gave you one of his softest shirts and when you woke up that next morning, covered in his scent, he couldn’t let you wear anything else. Plus, seeing you wear his clothes just makes him want you more. 

“I dropped a bowl. I’m okay, I’m okay.” He responds, trying to keep you from coming closer. His wolf is already working on knitting the skin back together, the bleeding long since stopped. 

“Did you hurt yourself?” Your eyes are shocked and nervous as you walk over to him, trying to see past him.

The size difference isn’t lost on him either. His wolf, having finished his mission to heal the wound on his palm, now yips and begs to get closer to you. 

“Nope, it's just fine.” He shuts the water off and shows you his hand. “Just a little scratch.”

“Man, I liked that bowl.”

Chris chuckles and shakes his head as he tosses the pieces into the trash before drying his hands off. “We can get more.” You smile up at him and nod. Slowly, you relax after the short burst of adrenaline wears off. “Come on, sleepy.” He gently guides you to the bedroom and helps get you tucked between the soft, worn flannel sheets. 

Almost as soon as he turns to walk away, your chilled fingers curl around his wrist. He feels the tremors but he’s not sure if they’re from the cold of the cabin or from the small shot of adrenaline. “Will you stay for a little bit?”

“Of course.” He crawls over you and lays on his side of the bed.

You let him get adjusted and hold his arm up before you curl into his side, instantly melting into his warmth. A soft moan leaves your lips as you press into him, your head on his shoulder. “I don’t know how I’ll survive the cold without you.”

Chris turns his head so his nose is buried in your hair, breathing you in as his hand slides up and down your back, trying to get more heat into you, hating that you’re still shaking slightly. “We’ll have to swap out some things for thicker, winter wear. I need to do the same.”

You nod and curl yourself tighter into his warmth. He rests his cheek on your head and lets his eyes slip closed. Having you in his arms at the end of the day might be one of his favorite things. It’s his reward for making it through one more rotation on the Earth’s axis. 

“Chris?” He hums in acknowledgement. “Don’t leave me when it’s cold. Please?” 

His hands stop moving and he squeezes his eyes closed. “I don’t know if it’s possible right now.” He hates himself for lying. You never asked him to stay before so he knows you must really be afraid. He hears you sniffle before the wet drops of your tears land on his collarbone. “Hey, hey, hey.” He cups your jaw softly and tries to tilt your face to look at him but when you put up the slightest bit of resistance, he stops and just rests his forehead to the top of your head. “Please don’t cry. I hate it.”

“I’m just scared. I’ll try to be as self-sufficient as I can but what if I burn down your cabin?”

Chris can’t help the smile that comes to his lips. “You don’t have to be scared. I’ll show you everything you need to know so you don’t burn down our cabin. You have picked up so much and have been such a huge help.” He’s not lying now. After getting you nursed back to health, getting your strength back up, Chris started showing you how to do some little things around the cabin and the surrounding property to maintain upkeep. 

He still handles all of the big things but most of the time he brings you with him because he really likes to have you around. Plus, you’re always so eager to help, even if you’re just holding a tool, a flashlight, or even just fetching something for him. 

You must not catch his correction because you continue. “I’m either going to freeze to death or I’m going to burn your house down.”

“Our house.” He corrects again and he can feel your body when you register his words. “Yes, this is our house. It has been the moment I carried you in here.”

Smiling softly, you burrow your head deeper into his chest, wrapping your arm tighter around his stomach. “Don’t let me burn our house down.”

A smile still on his lips, Chris presses them to the top of your head softly. “Never.”

The cold snap came earlier than either of you could have predicted. 

He woke up one morning a couple weeks later to frost on the windows and he knew this winter was going to be hard. He would be fine but you, his beautiful, precious human would not be unless he did something. 

Chris got to work prepping the house, winterizing, as it would be called. Making sure the windows are sealed and covered, getting thick down blankets and electrical blankets as well. He spent hours chopping wood to make sure there would be enough to keep the fireplace stocked. 

While Chris would be chopping the wood and working on the cabin, you were prepping your garden and food storage the best you could. You’ve learned a lot about living off the grid and off the land but nothing could have prepared you for something like this. Not weeks in advance. 

When you weren’t in the garden, the kitchen, or your green house, you were helping to stack the wood that Chris chopped. He smiles as he watches you, trying to make sure the stacks against the house don’t fall.

“It’s okay if they tumble.” He hurries over and catches a couple logs before they fall on you. “This is a perfect start. When it gets low, I’ll come out and do the rest.”

You nod and go to step back but you stumble and wind up falling back into his solid muscle. One of his arms holds you close, the other restabilizing the logs to not fall on you. 

“I’m sorry.” You reply and go to stand but Chris can tell from your voice that you’re exhausted. 

Scooping you up effortlessly, he carries you up the stairs and into the house. “You never have to apologize.” He sets you down in your favorite arm chair and lays a blanket you knitted over your lap. “Are you okay?”

You nod and lean back, letting the cabin’s warmth seep into your bones. “I’m fine. Being up early and all the prep has me feeling pretty stressed.”

Chris smiles and cups your face softly, tilting your head side to side as he takes you in. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’m okay. I think I just need to rest. Just for a little bit.”

“Take as long as you need, beautiful.” He stands and kisses your forehead. “I think you are doing great, by the way.” His hands rest on the arms of the chair, caging you in and surrounding you in his warmth and scent. 

“You rea-a-” Your voice cracks and you swallow thickly before clearing your throat and trying again. “You really think so?”

Chris nods and places a kiss on your forehead, “I know so. Most of that wood would have sat out there until later this winter but you have been working hard to line the house with it. Thank you.” He smiles as your face flushes. He straightens up and heads to the kitchen, “Did you still want chicken and rice for dinner?”

“Yes please. I have everything ready to go, it just needs to go over the fire.” 

“Hang out and rest. I can get it on the fire before I come sit with you.”

You nod and lean back, melting into the comfort of the couch as Chris gets the pot you put together with your dinner and hangs it on the hook in the fireplace. He then feeds and rebuilds the fire before pulling his sweater off and sitting beside you. 

Pulling your feet into his lap, he leans back and gently slides your shoes off. You smile and watch him as he squeezes your feet before massaging them. Your head falls back and you moan his name as his thumb works the sore spot you’ve often had trouble with.

Chris smirks and watches you, shifting to hopefully hide his reaction to you moaning his name. He eventually switches to the other foot but this being the nondominant he does not get the same reaction.

You giggle and pull your foot back when his thumb slips over a ticklish spot. “No. God please don’t.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “I would never.”

“Good.” Pulling your feet under you, it allows you to shift closer, pausing for a moment before moving onto his lap. You’re sideways, facing the fireplace as you adjust the blanket on your lap to cover you both. When he doesn’t ask you to move, you lay your head on his shoulder and his arms wrap around your waist.

It feels so right. Being with Chris like this. The small intimate moments that make your stomach flip and your heart flutter. It’s just so easy and effortless, which is not something you are used to. Chris is a true partner, he doesn’t do everything for you but he supports you as you try to do it for yourself. That alone means more to you than a million foot massages. 

“You’re my favorite.” You whisper softly as his thumb draws circles on your thigh.

“I’m your favorite?”

“Yeah. My favorite person.”

His smile is wide and pride fills his chest. Chris wraps his arms tighter around you, burying his nose in your hair. “You’re my favorite too, beautiful. You have been for a very long time.” He kisses you temple.

You smile and relax deeper into his warmth, letting his gentle kisses soothe you. Soon, you fall asleep without meaning to.

You were going to freeze to death. 

Not actually but you felt like it. Nothing was working. The electric blankets were not warm enough. Your core temperature had dropped too low and that is where the danger started. The fire is burning but taking time to spread through the rest of the cabin. After shivering so hard in bed you swore you could feel the whole thing shake (which is impossible because Chris made the thing himself out of wood and it is SOLID), you went to lay on the floor in front of the fireplace. Soon, you’re asleep, not carrying that you have no pillow and nothing but the one down blanket you burrito’d yourself in. 

It’s just past midnight when the front door slips open and a shadow slinks into the house. It stops when it sees you in the front room in front of a fire, roaring like you just added more wood to it before passing out again in front of the hearth. You stir slightly when the door shuts so the shadow freezes, watching you. When your heartbeat and breathing steadies, the large shadow moves closer. Chris’s wolf form moves to lay just out of the light of the fire, resting its large head on its paws. 

You have spread out on your back, how you normally sleep, one leg bent at the knee and resting over the other. Both of your hands are tucked under your head, acting like a pillow to keep your skull from the hardwood flooring. The wolf whimpers softly when he sees the goose bumps rise to your skin and you shiver again in your sleep. He knows it isn’t the cold. 

You’re having a nightmare.

He should be able to shift back soon and lay with you, helping more but for now, he crawls closer, leaving his head resting on your feet. The wind must shift because your features are illuminated by the soft glow of the full moon. Your brow is furrowed and your lips are drawn back from your teeth like you are wincing in pain. 

As if you can sense you’re not alone, your features relax and your heart rate slows down once again, leading him to believe you are no longer in your nightmare. Nuzzling closer to you, the wolf allows his eyes to slip shut, enjoying how close he gets to be to you. It’s just before 3am when your dreams start up again.

This one starts out the same. You whimper softly and your fingers twitch. As it progresses, Chris notices this is different. Your twitches turn into you gripping the sheets and you’re writhing under the blankets. A pleasured gasp leaves your lips and that is when the scent of your arousal hits him. 

A low whine rumbles through his wolf form as his head leaves your feet and he slowly backs into the shadows, his large head dying to rest between your legs but he removes himself for the most part, his eyes trained on your face.

“Chris, please,” when his name leaves your lips followed by a raw, pleasured cry, he forces himself back out of the cabin. If he had stayed any longer, his wolf would have acted on instinct and tried to claim you. 

The two of you have shared a lot about yourself but you have never mentioned anything about your sexual desires. So as you dream of him, he paces the surrounding area until he can return to his human form and crawl into bed beside you.

It’s now early morning, a clock in the house would tell you it’s 6:28am. You’ve kicked the covers off and have starfished yourself on the bed. Slowly, your eyes open and you take a deep breath as you come back into your body. Flexing your fingers and toes, you stop when your fingers come in contact with skin.

Slowly, you turn your head and find Chris laying beside you. He’s very naked so you keep your eyes focused on his face, which is peaceful. He’s still in a deep sleep, curled on his side favoring you. There is a thin layer of sweat covering his body and you can guess it is because of the heat in the cabin. You also realize you are in bed. You distinctly remember sleeping in front of the fireplace. Chris must have scooped you up when he got home and laid down with you.

Gently you get out of bed and slip your feet into thick slippers. The front room is dark so the fire is low or completely out. You reach behind the bed to crack the window, allowing a cool breeze to come through, letting it cool Chris’s heated skin.

You smile softly, you pull the thinnest quilt over his hips to give him some modesty before you disappear into the bathroom. Taking care of business, you note that he is home early. He wouldn’t normally be home until later this evening so you wonder why he is here. Definitely not complaining, just curious. 

After cleaning up, you head back into the bedroom to slip back under the covers. With Chris back, you don’t have to worry about being cold. His presence alone has made the bedroom more tolerable already. Even though he is indecent, you still scoot closer, allowing your hand to rest next to his, curling your body in towards his. You let sleep find you once more, not noticing that his fingers have laced with yours and been tugged against his chest. 

Hours later you wake feeling disoriented and sweating. You groan and try to get out of bed but that is when you feel two arms pull you tighter against something hard and solid. A grumble sounds from behind you and all at once your mind is wide awake. 

Chris is home and is naked. 

Currently he has your back pinned to his chest, his large, solid body curled behind yours. His arms are wrapped around you, one hand resting on your lower stomach and the other is just under your breast. This is the most touching you have ever done with Chris. 

A stolen forehead kiss here or there with hugs and soft caresses, sure. But the complete bear hug from behind, his pinky literally resting on your breast, the finger tips of his other hand resting under the elastic of your panties, yes his fingers are already inside your leggings. 

What really shocks you is the steel rod you feel nestled against your hind end. The icing on the cake is when you shifted to get out of bed and he pulled you back, Chris groaned against your shoulder and rocked his massive package against your ass. Your jaw drops as you feel the full length of him against you.

“Chris?” Your hands gently come up and tap on his arms. “Honey, you gotta let me go.”

More grumbling comes from behind you as he presses himself against you once more, a low growl rumbling through his chest. You can’t make out what he says but you can feel how hot he has gotten against you. His fingers twitch against your breast and your stomach. He pulls you back to him, groaning as he feels your softness give against him.

“Chris? Wake up.” You try to shake him but that only ends up with you flipped onto your stomach, his legs straddling your plush thighs. He groans into your shoulder as his hips roll against your ass. You can feel how wet his cock is getting from the amount of precum leaking from him. 

He growls your name and you hear his jaw clench while his hips continue to grind against your ass. “Fuck,” your name slips past his lips in a whimper. “You feel so good, baby girl” His voice is raw and rough with arousal.

“Christopher!”

Eyes snap open. All movement ceases. 

Within seconds the weight is off of you and you can hear him across the room. A drawer opens and closes before his foot’s steps sound and then the front door slams.

You jump at the slam, your heart racing for a different reason this time. You give yourself a few moments to calm down and straighten the bed and your clothing before heading to the front door. 

Chris is pacing out in the front yard, only in a pair of black shorts. His hands in his hair and his eyes squeezed shut. You open the door and before you can press the storm door open he freezes and looks up to the house. The sun catches his features and you’re rooted in place. 

His usually amber eyes are black, no mistaking it this time. His canines are elongated and you can see his ears are pointed. What you notice before all else is the tears filling his eyes and the streaks down his cheeks. He turns and you can tell is going to take off but you open the door and hurry onto the porch.

“Please don’t run.” Your voice is so soft but your heart squeezes at the fear of him taking off on you. 

When your voice breaks, Chris falls to his knees, his whole body slumping onto his flank. His head hangs between his shoulders and his hands are in fists. Soon blood begins seeping between his knuckles and he quickly moves them to fist the pine flooring. Your devotion has floored him.

Ruined him. 

Chris is heaving breaths as his forehead rests on the forest floor. He’s so focused on not losing control and changing that he doesn’t notice you’ve come up to kneel in front of him until your hands run over his hair. His whole body stills as he tries to focus on your touch but it’s too soft. 

“Nails. Back. Please.” His voice breaks on the last word as he begs for you to divert his attention.

Within seconds you’re closer, sliding your nails over his bare back. Chris shivers and you watch as the red lines and goosebumps come to the surface of his skin. He groans and arches up to your nails so you press harder, dragging them up and down. His claws release so quickly he is up and has pulled you under him, nuzzling his nose into your neck and breathing your scent. 

You continue to slide your hands over his back, not wanting to over do it with your nails and do more harm than good. Minutes pass and he is still trembling so you bravely let your fingers thread into his hair as you hold him. Softly you whisper “you’re okay” and “I’m right here” just like he used to when you were struggling. You have no idea what is going on but you are not going to let him go through it alone. 

Not anymore. 

Eventually he fully relaxes against you, his knees sliding out from under him. You continue your gentle caresses and whispers until he moves to his elbows and looks down at you, his amber eyes back to normal. Your hands move to cup his face and his eyes close before he leans forward to rest his forehead on yours.

“I’m so sorry.” His words whisper over you and you shake your head slightly. “Yes. I violated you and I’m so, so sorry.” Once again, his voice breaks.

You shush him softly and run your fingers over his jaw, nuzzling your nose with his which makes him whimper softly. “I was more shocked than anything.”

The moment you nuzzled your nose to his, Chris was a goner. He has done it to you countless times but when you did it back, that act alone solidified that he was in love with you. In wolf packs, when two wolves nuzzle one another like you did to him, it’s a way to show affection, intimacy, and even submission. It’s also something mated wolves do in their wolf forms before and after a hunt.

“And what you saw," he starts but you cut him off, knowing he is my ready to talk about it

“You don’t have to say anything now. Whenever you’re comfortable sharing, you can.” 

He deflates into you, letting his face rest in your neck to breathe in the scent that is his favorite in the world. You with just the slightest hint of him. An emotion that he cannot quite name wrecks through him. It is enough to bring tears to his eyes once more but he swallows it back and just basks in the feeling of knowing that you were always meant to be his. 

Mate.

You kiss his temple softly, holding onto him with no idea of what is currently happening. All you know is he needs comfort and you are more than willing to give it to him. If anyone were to come up and see you both, it would be very suspicious. You are on your back with your legs hooked over his hips, your bodies are tightly pressed together, and his head is in your chest.

Chris is fighting himself from telling you how he feels and he also is trying not to grind himself against you. So, after letting himself stay with you for a few more minutes, he pulls away and stands before he picks you up and gently sets you on your feet. He wraps an arm around your shoulders and walks with you back towards the house. 

You stop at the bottom of the stairs and tilt your head as you look up at him, a couple stairs ahead of you. “Chris?”

He turns to look down at you but that is when the arrow sails through the air and plants itself right into your chest. Your eyes widen in shock and fear as they turn up to him and they mirror your emotions back. 

Shock. Fear.

Two emotions Chris swore you would never feel in his presence again. 

He failed you. 

Within seconds you are in his arms and back in the house. 

The last thing you remember is Chris begging you to hold on before a snarl rips through the air. Something large and black rips through the front door as your eyes fall closed and your world goes silent.

The door doesn’t fully shut behind him before Chris has shifted. His wolf tears through the forest until he finds the man with the bow. It’s finished before anyone could blink. It’s midday before Chris gets back to you, his wolf still simmering with rage at the idea of you being hurt. He mildly feels guilty for leaving you but once glance at any clock would tell him he was not away from you for more than 10 minutes.  

Back in his human skin and he scales the steps to get to you. Relief fills him when he sees you’re breathing. He can hear your heart beat but he waits no time getting you in his arms and then he is back out the door. 

His pack resides on the south west side of the forest. In his wolf form it wouldn’t take him 30 minutes to cross the miles but in his truck, it’s agonizing. Chris has warned the pack’s healer, Felix, that he’s bringing his mate. He made the seven of them swear that they would not mention their nature to you, not until Chris gets to tell you himself.

Now, days later, you’re still unconscious in the spare bedroom of Felix’s home. That is where he keeps his supplies and where he treats everyone. You were treated and deemed stable but Felix wanted to keep you close in case of infection. 

It’s been six days since he felt you against him. 

Six days since he held you in his arms.

Chris feels like he is going to go insane. He’s pacing the small hallway outside the door as Felix checks your vitals. “She’s okay to take home whenever you want. We’re past the window of infection. I’ve shown you what to watch for and how to keep everything clean if something does happen.”

Chris nods and looks to the healer and then to another member of the pack, Minho. “Any word on what the guy wanted?”

Minho, the one who handles the loose ends of the pack. Whether that is spinning rumors in town or erasing someone entirely. “It would have been easier if you left him alive but it honestly looks like an accident. He was a hunter, not our kind or anything supernatural. He had a heart condition so it’s not hard to believe he had a heart attack that made his arrow go off course.”

Chris nods and pats Minho on the shoulder. “Thank you for checking for me.” He turns to Felix and nods in respect. “And thank you for taking care of her.”

Minho and Felix nod back but it is Changbin, who came from the kitchen who replies, “you’re the alpha. Of course we’ve got your back.” He takes another bite into a roasted chicken leg in his hand, smiling at Chris.

Chris winces and shakes his head. Alpha was not a role he wanted. When their previous alpha died, the pack was just going to stick together and be leaderless but after the first full moon, it was clear someone needed to step up. Chris is the oldest and was voted to be leader by the other seven so he had no other choice.

Changbin is the muscle of the group. If someone goes too far or over stays a welcome, he makes sure they get where they need to be. 

“Shouldn’t you be off reservation for the time being? I thought you had a yoga thing with that one wolf.”

Changbin smirks and nods, “we leave tonight. I convinced Seungmin to join me.”

“Poor kid.”

“Too bad the Alpha is mated, you would have loved it.” Changbin finishes the meat off the leg and heads back into the kitchen for another. “Yah, this is great, Minho!”

“Save some for everyone else, piggy!” Minho, who is also the cook of the pack, teases as he follows the younger wolf to the kitchen. It leaves Felix and Chris together in the hall.

“So, you think she’s the one?”

“I don’t think,” Chris looks from your room to Felix. “I know.”

“That is something many of us dream of. Congratulations.”

Chris looks into your room and sighs softly when you’re still unconscious. “She saw me lose some of my control and wasn’t scared.” He smiles fondly. “After all she has been through, she was concerned about me, not scared.”

They all nod in agreement. You’re his, one way or another. He’s helped you heal and that has gained him true devotion. You are his. And he is yours.

“Chris?” 

His heart plummets to his stomach and he turns when he hears the softest whisper of his name. Your eyes are open and you’re sitting up in the bed you have been in for the last six days. You’ve never been more beautiful to him.

“Baby girl,” he barely makes it to your bedside before he is on his knees, your hand curled in his. 

A smile on his face so wide he feels like his cheeks might cramp. You return his smile with a weak one of your own. Felix follows but after checking on you, he leaves and pulls the door closed. After Felix left you apologized to Chris for bleeding on the couch and then drifted off once again. 

Still beside you, this time on the bed and stretched out beside you, one arm under your head and the other cupping your cheek softly. He’s watching you sleep more, his eyes shimmer with unshed tears. 

“I love you so much.” He presses his forehead to yours before nuzzling his nose with yours. His eyes falling closed, a few tears slipping past his lashes. “I can replace the couch. I can’t replace you.” 

He whispers his life story to you, hoping you can hear him. Even if you can't, he'll tell you again. He talks until his voice starts to break, and the sun is setting. Changbin has brought food and water but he hasn’t stopped talking to you long enough to eat.

“Then I found you.” He smiles against your cheek. “You were so small, so fragile. I was scared I would break you when I lifted you off the forest floor.” He shifts back enough so he can take you in. “When I look at you now, your body is so beautiful and so full of life and happiness, it’s so hard not to tell you how badly I want you. I’ve been waiting, not wanting to push you but I don’t know if I can wait anymore.”

He pauses to eat and drink before he curls into the bed with you, covering you both. You both lay in silence for a while, the sounds of the night passing around the house. Finally, as he hears the rest of the pack settle in for the night, Chris allows his eyes to close.

“Come back to me, baby girl. I’m waiting to tell you so many things. Mostly, I just want to tell you I love you.”

There is a ray of sunlight directly in your eyes. You are sweating profusely and your body aches. Tilting your head some, you realize how caged you are. Chris has his arms around you and one leg slotted between yours. His chin is resting over the top of your head. The sun has managed to shine over his shoulder and into your eye. You try to shift but it pulls at your stitches making you wince and whimper softly.

Amber eyes shoot open to meet yours. You watch as they go from alarm to warm within seconds. Chris smiles and you can’t help but return it. “Good morning, Chris.”

He smiles and pulls you closer, careful of your stitches, and kisses your forehead. “Good morning, beautiful.” He holds you, letting you get comfort-

“Chris, I gotta pee so bad.”

“Oh!”

Almost an hour later, you’ve cleaned up with a warm shower. Chris didn’t join you but he stayed close just in case you needed him. When you were done, he helped you dress. Then dry, brush, and braid your hair. You were just finishing up brushing your teeth when Felix knocked on the doorframe of the bathroom.

So now you’re sitting on the bathroom counter, letting Felix check the front of your wound. He can see the back through the mirror and deems it healing well.

Chris is prowling in the hallway, his shoulders tense and his eyes narrowed as Felix has his hands on your chest. When your life was in danger, all he wanted was for the gentle handed healer to do was fix you with his touch but now, Chris wants his hands off you. When you gasp in pain, Changbin has to hold him from bursting into the bathroom and beating the healer.

“He’s helping her, Chan.”

Your eyes meet his, dark and stormy, from the other side of the doorway. “Chan?”

“It’s his middle name and how we met him.” Felix replies, cutting Changbin off. “You know him as Chris?” 

You nod and wince once more as Felix finishes removing the rest of the stitches. He goes to apply more of the ointment he has been mixing and applying to you on the daily, explaining to you that it is more active that way.

The ointment Felix mixes has some of Chris’s werewolf DNA that Felix collected by swabbing his cheek a couple times a day to make sure you got the most potent version. That allowed the healing process to speed up some. You still have an arrow wound that goes from your right shoulder through to the front where it exited just above your collarbone. Chris’s DNA has helped to mend most of the muscle back together as well as sealing it from the inside out. 

“Yeah. We never really discussed any other names. I mean, we know each other’s last names and stuff.” You exhale through your nose as the ointment stings a little. “Is this stuff supposed to burn?”

Felix nods as he pulls his gloves off and tosses them to the trash. “The active ingredient is mint to help fight infections. It should fade to a cooling sensation soon.” He leans down and gently blows on the wound without thinking. 

Quickly you’re off the counter and push Felix behind you. Your hand meets the hard muscle of Chris’s chest as his eyes glare at the man behind you. You feel the growl that is rumbling through him. 

“Felix, I’m okay. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Anytime.” He nods and skirts around you and Chris to exit the room, a flush on his cheeks. 

Changbin stutters through a “glad you’re okay” before he disappears as well. 

Within seconds of them disappearing from view, the front door opens and closes. You and Chris are the only two people in this house. He’s breathing heavily and you feel how much more heated his skin has grown since your hand has been on him. His eyes are black and you watch them take over your mostly naked frame. 

You’re in one of his hoodies, one he kept in the truck, and it is still unzipped to hang off one shoulder so Felix could tend to your wound. The growl that was rumbling under your hand now turns to a whine as Chris takes in your lush thighs and your strong legs. 

“What was that, Chris?”

“I need to hold you.”

“Not until you-“

“He put his scent on you.” When you raise an eyebrow, he rushes on. “Blowing on you. Removed some of me and replaced it with him. I have to fix it.” His eyes soften as his hands move like they want to rest on your hips but he waits for your consent. “Please baby, let me?”

Your hand moves and instantly you’re pulled up against his chest, his arms locking around you like vices. One hand is on your lower back, dangerously close to slipping down over the hem of the hoodie and the other is pressed between your shoulder blades. As your arms wrap around him, his nose goes into your neck and you feel him inhale. 

“Good god, you smell so fucking good.” He groans and he turns lean heavily against the wall, almost as if he is afraid his legs would give out. As if on a reflex, presses himself against you. The thick, hard line of his cock right against your stomach. 

Your eyes widen in surprise and you go to pull away to look at him but he holds you too tightly. “Chris, what’s going on?”

“I need to take you home.”

“You can. You heard Felix say it was safe now.”

He growls and grazes his teeth over your neck, where he will mark you once you let him. His hips roll against you, unable to help himself. The human part of his brain has shut off and all he can think about is you.

You’re alive. You’re breathing. You’re covered in him.

“Chris, take me home and we can keep doing whatever it is you want to do. But please, take me home.” He whines softly, his teeth sinking in a little harder, making you moan and grip the back of his jacket. “Please, Chris.”

Pulling himself away from you is a Herculean task that takes about three minutes longer than it should have. Eventually, he’s pulled back and has you at arms length. “I did it again. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Chris, I would let you take me in the middle of the forest. I just really want to be in our home. I want to be in our bed.”

His grip on your arms tighten slightly and he groans again. “Please, I’m about to lose my mind and I have things I need to tell you before we go any further.” He begs softly. “I can get us home but, god this is going to sound awful, stay on your side of the truck and please don’t talk or we won’t make it.”

You nod and turn to finish getting dressed. That movement shifted the hoodie revealing your slicked core and the unmasked scent of your arousal to him. He manages to let you get sweats on before grabbing your hand and dragging you towards the front door. 

“Take the truck and go. I’ll meet you at the cabin.” He puts the keys into your hand before dropping your wrist.

“Chris, what-?”

“Baby girl, please!” You go to protest but that is when seven men rush in and guide you out. The last thing you hear is a howl and you’re not sure if it was from outside Felix’s house.

Or if it came from inside. 

There was a series of loud snarls, shouts, and what sounded like furniture breaking coming from the house. Running to the truck at the animalistic sounds, you throw yourself into the truck and take off. The only reason you left Chris behind was the look in his eyes when they met yours. It pained you to hear him and to see him like that. You also couldn’t help to feel like you might have been the cause.  

You might have been less than 30 minutes from the cabin when a streak of black races by the truck. Your eyes widen as your adrenaline spikes. Your eyes search for it but instead, they land on the largest wolf you have ever seen standing in the middle of the road. 

Slamming on your breaks, you throw the truck into park and look over the animal. Beautiful, silky looking midnight fur, so long it flows when the wind comes through the trees. It’s probably as tall as the hood of the truck, maybe more. Its ears are pinned low over its head and that’s when you notice seven other wolves in the trees around it, all in various shades. 

A low rumble comes from the wolf in front of you and you notice the way its lips curl to show off its canines. Your eyes take in the features, all stunning but incredibly lethal;  from its ears, to its jaw, up to its eyes, you freeze. 

Amber.

You throw the door open and hop down out of the truck. A soft gasp leaves you as the landing jostles the wound on your chest making the wolf sink low, his tail whipping behind him. You expected another growl but you got a soft whine instead. 

“Chris?” Slowly, you walk closer, your eyes pinned to the beautiful wolf in front of you. The wolf lowers itself to its belly when you’re an arms length away, bowing its head for you. 

He’s submitting to you, not fully but hopefully enough to make you more comfortable. His amber eyes are trained on you and when you move to sit in front of him, pulling your legs beneath you, he crawls forward to lay his big head in your lap. Your hands stay up, unsure of what to do with them before they settle on the wolves fur. 

“What happened to meeting me at the cabin?”

The wolf whines and nuzzles himself deeper into your lap.

“How about I make you a deal?”

Amber eyes turn up to meet yours.

“Return to me at dusk. I’ll be waiting and we can talk.” You lean forward and press a kiss to the plush fur atop the wolf’s head.

You hear his footsteps on the porch. Turning to look out the window, you can see the last of the sun has set. “Right on time.” Your heart pounds as you set the last plate of dinner on the table and straighten just as he pushes open the door. You smooth your hands over your jeans but freeze when your eyes meet. 

He nods and closes the door before stepping deeper into the room. “It smells amazing.”

“I made your favorite. Well, not lamb but steak.”

He walks over and smiles. “I’m starving but first, I have to do this or I’m going to drive myself mad.” He cups your jaw softly with one hand, the other wrapping around your waist. He brings his face close to yours, giving you a chance to tell him no, but you cup his face in your hands, move to your tiptoes and press your lips to his.

It’s everything you thought kissing Chris would feel like. His soft lips, his big hands, the strong body he holds you against. His scent is so much stronger but it only makes you want him more so you press your lips harder to his, moaning as he opens your mouth with his tongue. 

The kiss was intended to be a sweet, simple thing but of course anything that involves you, Chris can’t help himself. You moan into his lips and he’s moved both hands to your ass, gripping as he lifts you with ease. Your back doesn’t meet the mattress like you expected but the hardwood of the cabin wall. 

Chris finally breaks away from the kiss only to trail his lips down your jaw and your neck. He nuzzles the spot under your ear and you feel his chest rumble. “You always smell so goddamn good, baby girl.” 

Without second thought, he’s dragging his tongue over your neck and groaning at the way you taste. “Fuck, I know we’re supposed to have dinner and talk but I don’t think I can wait anymore.” His teeth graze the spot and you arch against him, crying out his name when he bites a little harder. 

“Please let me make you mine, baby girl.” His lips trace up to your ear where he nips at your earlobe softly. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” His tongue traces the shell of your ear. “Please baby girl, please let me have you.”

You gasp as you feel his tongue slide over your skin but at his groan, the way he sounds lost and fucked out already makes you want to squeeze your thighs together. “I’m yours, Chris. No matter what.” You manage to catch his eyes once before adding, “I love you, too.”

You watch as his eyes shine before they fall closed. “You heard?”

“I thought it was a fever dream until earlier on the road home. We can talk later if you want but we should still talk.” Your fingers play with the ends of his hair. The same silky texture and midnight shade as the wolf from earlier. You can feel his indecision so you make it for him.

Using one of your fingers to tilt his chin up, you lean down and kiss him. With you leading the kiss, Chris completely submits, whining into your mouth as your tongue sweeps into his mouth to taste him. Your fingers now fully thread into his hair, tugging softly to angle his head just right so you can slow the way your lips meet and tease him more. His whimper as your tongue rolls against his makes your core clench. On reflex, your hips rock against his and that is when he snaps.

His hand moves to your throat and Chris breaks the kiss, pinning you in place. A wicked grin comes to his lips and it’s your turn to whimper under his gaze. “You’ll let me fuck you in the middle of the forest?” The pressure on your throat spikes your arousal and it makes Chris’s mouth water at the smell. 

“One night, I’ll let you hunt me.”

He groans and thrusts his cock up against you and you can feel, almost obscenely, how hard his cock is through the sweats he pulled on. “Baby, you can’t just say that shit. I need to be gentle the first time.”

You nod and relax in his hold. “Take me to bed, Chris.”

“My pleasure, my beautiful mate.” His hands are back on your ass, loving the way your flesh gives under his grip. “So fucking perfect. I love you so much.” His lips find yours as he slowly makes his way to the bedroom.

Sliding your hands over his shoulders, you shiver as he slides his hands to your thighs. A growl rumbles through him as he lays you down on the bed, spreading you out for him. Slowly, his eyes locked on yours, he slots himself flush with your core and grinds against you. “Fuck, you already feel so good against me. So goddamn soft.” 

“Chris, please,” your voice is soft as you beg for him to do more. 

He groans when your legs wrap around his waist, holding him against you as you grind yourself up to him. “And so strong. You’ll be able to handle me, won’t you, my baby girl?”

“Yes!” He smirks as your voice rises in pitch while you continue to writhe against him. 

“Good girl.” Chris unlocks your legs and leans down to soothe your whimpers and whines with his lips. As he kisses you breathless, his hands manage to get your jeans open and start to tug them off. He tosses them over his shoulder before turning his attention down to the black lace panties you’re wearing. “You’re soaked for me, aren’t you baby girl?” 

“I have been all day, Chris.” You’re watching him take you in, surprised that you only feel more turned on by the lust in his eyes and the hard outline of his cock in his sweats. His cock has started leaking where it rests, just under the waistband. 

He licks his bottom lip and moves his fingers over your thighs, spreading you open for him. “My poor baby. I bet this beautiful pussy is throbbing and swollen, begging for me.”

His thumbs pull your panties down in one swipe, tossing them over his shoulder. Finally, his eyes leave your face and they slide over your body, stopping to notice your pebbles nipples straining against the shirt you’re wearing. His hands come to cup your breasts through the thin black material, groaning as he finally feels their weight in his hands.

“Careful, baby.” You warn before pulling your shirt off, adjusting his hands lower away from the wound.

“I’m so sorry. I’m getting impatient when I shouldn’t be. You have no idea how long I have wanted this, baby girl.” He leans down and when you expect him to tease your breasts, his lips meet yours in a slow kiss that is all teeth and tongue. 

Your hands slip down his chest and under the hem of his shirt, letting your fingers graze the corded muscle at his side. Feeling your nails drag over his skin, Chris groans into the kiss, leaning down to cage you under him. He breaks from the kiss and nuzzles his nose with yours.

You smile and remove your hands from his shirt and bring them to cup his face. “Lay back for me?” The whimper that leaves him makes you clench, more arousal seeping from you. “Please, baby? Please relax and let me love you?”

“You’re making my head spin, baby girl.” He sits up, pulls his shirt off, and then moves onto his back, his hands moving to help guide you to straddle him. “Fuck, you don’t even know how hot you look right now.” 

You had a feeling his idea and yours were two totally different images but with the way he is looking at you, you decided not to disagree. Instead you place your hands on his chest for balance and tilt your head to the side. Curiously you ask, “how do I look, Christopher?” His reaction to your question was not what you expected. 

To his ears, your voice dropped and had a rasp to it, giving it the best, nastiest kind of sultry edge to it. Then, with your hands on his chest, your hips, the fucking gloriously full flare of them rolled so your core slide over his. Lastly, hearing his full name drip from your lips is enough to make him want to throw you over his shoulder and disappear into the woods for a week.

He groans and when your hands slip lower on his chest, your hips still fucking rolling that perfect amount of friction right where he needs it, Chris knows he’s not going to last.

“Like a goddess.” He starts rambling, feeling his cock throb with each roll of your hips. “Baby, if you don’t stop-,”

“Cum for me, baby.” Your lips trail from his collarbones over his pectoral muscles. “You deserve it, my love. I want to make you feel good.”

“Oh, you’re making me feel so fucking good. I’ve just waited too goddamn long for this to cum in my pants like I’m 14 again.” He growls out through clenched teeth but he is still yet to stop you. 

“I’ve wanted you too, Chris.” Your teeth graze over the hard line of his pectoral muscle as your eyes meet his. “From the moment I woke up and you were perched in the chair. So handsome, so worried.” You sink lower, letting your lips and tongue trace over the definition on his abdomen. 

Threading his fingers into your hair, Chris has his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches you acquaint yourself with his body. He flexes multiple times as you kiss lower until you get to his sweats. Your beautiful eyes look up to meet him and he’s lucky he didn’t blow in his pants. 

“Just the tip and I’ll cum in your mouth like you want me, baby girl.” His hands move to shimmy down his sweats, stopping just shy of the base. 

"Baby girl, my beautiful mate.” One hand moves from your hair to cup your cheek as his thumb caresses the skin there.

“I’m all yours, handsome. I have been since you welcomed me home.” You place a quick lick to his navel before turning your focus back down. “I’ve been dreaming of getting you in my mouth.” Your lips kiss over each inch of skin you reveal.

“Oh,” you breathe when you take in the curve of his thickness. “Baby, you’re so hard.” You slide your fingers up his shaft, watching his hips twitch.

Chris groans and his head thumps against the headboard as his eyes close. “Your fault.”

“Should I apologize?”

“Never.” 

“Good because I wasn’t going to.” You smirk before leaning down and taking him into your mouth, moaning softly at the musky taste of him.

“Oh fucking-, your mouth-h, ah fuck, baby girl,” Chris is a mess above you as your lips have only curls around the head, swirling and teasing your way around it until you find that spot that makes it cock jump between your lips. You’re rewarded with a flood of precum which you swallow, letting Chris feel the suction that makes.

“Hands, give me your hands.” As you take more of him, your hands move up and into his awaiting palms. His grip is hard but not enough to hurt. He has to hold them or he’s going to shove that sinful fucking mouth of yours down to the base and make you gag. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn good for me.”

Without your hands, you’re forced to balance yourself with your elbows on his thighs making you shift when he does. You giggle and the vibrations alone, not even considering the fact that you’re having fun with his cock in your mouth, shoots him to the edge.

“Baby! I’m going to-o, fucking shit, oh goddamn!” You shift as you feel his cock swell as he approaches his climax before taking him deeper, letting the head bump the back of your throat as he cums. 

His groans of your name could rattle the windows as he gently thrusts his hips up into your lips. “Good fucking, girl. My good fucking girl. That’s it, take it.” His filth comes out in heaving breaths as his hips continue to pump into your mouth. 

Once his body has relaxed, you slowly pull up, opening your mouth slightly to allow the small amount of saliva and his spend drip down onto his cock and the sweats. Chris watches and licks his dry lips before he sits up to pull you in for a devouring kiss. His hands grip your hair, holding you at the angle he wants as he licks into your mouth growling when tastes himself. 

The kiss is nasty, all teeth and tongues as his cock twitches, still rock hard between you. Slowly, you stroke him, slipping down over his sweats, trying to get a feel how big he actually is. 

Chris groans and grips your hands to halt your movements. “Wait, before anything else happens.” His face flushes. “It’s not like human males. Well mostly, as you saw, but from what we have gathered, wolves have something extra at the base.”

“What is it?”

“A knot.”

Your eyes widen, “knot?”

Chris leans back and scrubs his hands over his face. “Fuck, I knew we should have talked first.”

You tilt your head, confused. “Are we compatible?”

“Oh, fuck yes baby, just have to go really slow and it might take some time before I can knot you.” His face is crimson as he watches your face.

You shake your head and pull his hands from his face. “I’ll adapt. It’s okay. Let me just make you feel good and we’ll go over the rest later.”

A low whine comes from him as your palm grazes his knot and you pull away from the kiss. “Is this,-?”

Chris nods and you feel his cock twitch. “Yes.” He breathes and then he arches, groaning as your thumb presses into his knot once more, massaging it softly. “Oh fuck, baby girl, you can’t-t,”

Biting your bottom lip, you watch as the angry red tip of his cock leaks precum profusely. “Sensitive. Got it.” Stroking him slowly, you notice a couple other differences between his cock and the few human males you have seen. The thick vein that runs up the bottom of a human’s shaft you see a thick vein that curls up around his shaft. The thickness and length are other apparent differences. 

“Come here, baby girl.” Chris reaches down for you. “If you make me cum now, I’m going to pass out and be no good. Let me make you feel good.”

What he meant was “let me throw you on your back and bury my face between your legs”. 

He’s made you cum at least twice on his tongue only and now he’s added his fingers. He’s been working on stretching you slowly, he knew it would be a task when you whimper with just his first finger. You had told him before that it had been a long time since someone has touched you and he remembers the cold pit in his stomach at the thought. 

“This is how you should be treated. Every fucking night baby girl. Spread out to have your beautiful pussy kissed and stretched.” His voice deep and gravelly as his eyes look up to meet yours. “You’ll never know another day without being filled, my beautiful mate.” He leans back down, to circle your clit with his tongue. 

Chris teases your clit while his fingers forcibly stretch your walls to take them. You whimper and whine, pulling at his hair. You’re writhing and he’s so fucking enchanted by you that he doesn’t notice how much his cock is leaking against the sheets.

“Chris, please,” you have been begging for him to fill you with every finger he’s added.

“Soon, baby girl. Soon, I’ll fill you up just like you want. I just don’t want to hurt you.” Gently you feel him add a third, sucking your clit between his lips, smirking against you. “You’re going to cum, I can feel it.” He moves them slowly to allow you a chance to adjust before he curls them and digs them into the spot he discovered which will make you drip down his wrist.

“Yes!” Your hips roll down over his face, grinding your clit into his face as his three fingers work to massage and stretch open your walls. “Don’t stop, baby, please!”

“Never, baby girl. Be my good girl and cum for me one more time.”

All it takes is for him to drag his fingers over that spot deep inside of you once more and for him to go back to suckling on your clit for you to spill over into your third orgasm. You scream his name as you try to push his face away. He smirks and shakes his head to stimulate you more, moving his fingers faster over that spot. 

“Chris! Oh fuck baby, yes, right there!” Your back is arched off the bed as he drags out this orgasm. You feel the hot coil of your release tightening again. You’re incoherently whimpering as your body chases the never ending high.

Slowly, Chris drags his tongue over your clit, moaning against you as he feels your release start to leave you. It’s spilling down his wrist and onto the bed. Above him you’re screaming his name as the coil finally snaps. 

Loud, unfiltered cries leave you as you squirt over his palm and down his wrist. Your fingers are still in his hair when he pulls back from your clit to watch as your release floods out of you and soaks the sheets below you. “That’s my good girl. So fucking good for me.” 

As you come down, his fingers slowly pull out of your swollen and drenched pussy. Chris groans as he watches more of your release drip from you without his fingers inside you. “Fuck,” He licks over his lips before he gently licks your slit from bottom to top, cleaning you slowly.

Your thighs twitch more violently when overstimulation sets in so you have to push at his head. “Baby, please, I can’t.” 

“Did you know you could do that?” He places a few kisses to your glistening lower lips.

“No. You actually gave me my first non-solo orgasm.” The flush that covers you deepens. 

“You’re kidding.” He frowns, placing kisses over your hips and lower stomach. “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Chris. You have more than made up for it.”

“You deserved so much better out of life.”

“I think fate knew because I got you.” You smile shyly up at him. 

Chris smiles warmly and leans down to take your lips in a heated kiss. He’s so fucking love with you. “Thank you, for trusting me enough to let me in.”

Instead of answering, you lean up and kiss him tasting yourself on his tongue. Something feral unlocks in you and you’re pulling him down on top of you, legs wrapping around his waist. His growl into your mouth spurs you on so you roll your hips up to his, gasping when you feel his cock against your slit.

“You’re still so hard.” You’re soaked core slipping effortlessly with his cock.

He smirks and nods as he sits up, one hand braced by your head, the other spread across your core, his thumb holding his cock against you. His eyes are glued to where he is thrusting slowly, coating himself in you even more.  “Fuck, you feel so good. I’m not going to last long.”

You release the bite you had on your lower lip, your hands moving from his down to his sides. “That’s just fine. I have a feeling we won’t be getting out of bed or leaving the cabin for a while.”

Chris chuckles and nods, "you might be on to something.” He winks before he pulls back and lays on his back once more. With ease he pulls you to straddle him, adjusting your hips so his cock continues to slide through your arousal, coating his shaft in you. He hopes if his cock is wet enough, it will make it easier on you. 

His eyes are on you as your eyes are trained on his cock, now an angry red and leaking consistently against his abdomen.  Reaching up, one of his hands cups your jaw, making your head tilt so you look at him. Your eyes are blown wide and a beautiful flush is covering your cheeks traveling down to your chest. His other hand reaches up and releases your hair from the tie you had it in, the beautiful locks falling over your shoulders.

“Are you ready for me, baby girl?” Biting your bottom lip, you nod and lift your hips on your own, allowing enough space for Chris to grip and position his shaft for you. “Nice and slow, beautiful. You control everything right now so we stop when you say so.”

Your eyes meet his once more as your hands rest on his forearms for balance. “I love you so much, Chris.” You smile softly as his face softens before you watch his head fall back and his jaw drops, a guttural groan leaving him.

Slowly you started to sink down onto him, the swollen tip of his cock breaching your walls. He’s already stretching you but with the prep easy to take. It’s when you get more of him into you, just about a third of his shaft, is when the burn really kicks in.

Both of you are panting as you move up before coming back down slowly, coating his shaft with your arousal to ease your slide down. “So fucking big, Chris.”

His growl rumbles through his chest as he bites his bottom lip to keep himself from snapping his hips up into you. The view he has is driving him insane. Watching his shaft disappear into your pussy, feeling your tight walls flutter around him as his girth forces them to stretch around him. 

After many tortuous rounds of your hips rising and falling on his cock, you are finally fully seated on him, all the way down to his knot. Chris groans loudly, taking in the sight of your lips spread around him, ready to welcome that part of him into you. 

You shift on his lap, trying to ease the pressure and Chris whimpers as if he were in pain, his hands tightening on your hips. You’re panting softly, your hands fisting on his chest as you breathe through the burn of the stretch, knowing that the sooner he lets you move, the better you will feel. 

“You did so fucking good, baby girl. Goddamn you are just, so fucking - holy shit not yet!” His praise ends in a whimper as you start trying to move on him. The slow drag of your walls on his shaft shoving him closer to the edge. His hands grip your hips tightly to still you. “Please, baby girl.”

You bite your bottom lip and nod, slowly settling back down on the pressure of his knot, loving how it just begs to pop past your entrance. Wiggling your hips in his hold, he whines and the sound is broken, pleading. 

“Baby, it’s okay. We have so much more time. You’ve been so hard for so long.” Your hands slide over his chest to his biceps which are flexed with the effort he is putting into holding himself back. “Let me make you feel good now.”

Chris still has his head tilted back, breathing heavily though his nose to try to control himself as his fingers slowly relax and you smile widely. Once his hands are off your hips entirely,  immediately begin to move on him. You moan loudly as his cock massages the overstimulated walls of your pussy, the swollen head grazing not only your gspot each time but as you lower yourself down, it gently taps your cervix making you gasp. 

“Chris, baby, holy shit, you’re so deep.” Your head falls forward between your shoulders as you grind your hips, letting him sink even further into you. Moving your hands back to his chest for leverage, you push softly, lifting yourself slightly so you can spread your legs wider.

As you come back down you feel how much thicker his knot has swollen and you bite your bottom lip, grinding your hips down feeling it press and start to stretch your entrance. 

Your soft moans as you rock your hips against his, letting his shaft massage the deepest parts of you, driving Chris insane. He feels how your pussy is clenching and dripping around his shaft and over his knot making it very difficult not to flip you over and fuck his seed into your womb.

“Chris, baby-,” you gasp as the swollen head rests fully against your cervix now, the foreign pain slowly giving way to pleasure the more his cock swells and leaks inside of you. Your hips start to stutter, overwhelmed by the feeling, a soft whine leaving you. “I can’t-,”

Chris is up and you’re on your back. “I’ve got you baby girl.” He was gentle in laying you down, trying desperately to avoid hearing you hiss in pain again due to your chest. “I’ll try not to go too hard but I can’t promise, baby girl.”

“Don’t, Chris. I want it, please baby.” Threading your fingers into his hair, you smile when he brings his forehead down to meet yours. “I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“I love you so fucking much, baby girl.” He kisses you and it’s slow and sinful as he thrusts back into you, holding you open by your thighs. Your moans get swallowed into the kiss as his tongue meets yours, rolling to match the slow grind of his hips as he works himself to the hilt. 

You both gasp when his knot presses against your entrance, Chris slowly disconnects from the kiss. “Not tonight baby girl, but soon you will take it.” 

“After my chest is healed, you can hunt me in the forest.” You’re panting softly, watching as Chris lets his eyes fall closed. “Then, you can give it to me. On the forest floor.”

“Fuck yes.” He gets lost in the idea of playing that game with you, that as his hips start to pick up their pace, he nearly misses the cues of your climax. He places one quick kiss to your lips before he sits up, pulling your hips up and slipping a pillow under them. From there he spreads you open more, holding you in an almost mating press.

“Chris!” Back arching off the bed, your hands grip his forearms. 

“Mmm, that’s the spot isn’t it baby girl?” He smirks as your nails dig into his skin, another cry of pleasure leaving your lips. “Hold on, my beautiful mate.” 

Chris chases your next climax like a man obsessed. Your walls flutter around him and he can feel your slick leaking down his shaft. The sounds bouncing around the bedroom are enough to drive him mad, the wet obscene sounds of his cock battering your pussy paired with the beautiful cries of his name that fall from your lips. 

He’ll never get tired of the way you scream his name.

Your nails dig into his forearms as you cling to Chris. His thrusts are brutal and you hear the low growl that rumbles through him as his eyes watch where your stretched and swollen pussy take him repeatedly. All you feel is the pleasure he is forcing your body to take and all you can do is cry out his name. 

“Chris,-“

“I know, baby. I know, me too.” He pants before letting go of your thighs, leaning down to one of his elbows beside your head, careful not to put too much weight on the side with your wound. “Cum for me.” His free hand sneaks between your bodies and traces his thumb over your clit slowly.

“Christopher,” His name comes out of you in a pleasured sigh before  he shifts his hips and you feel his cock slam against your cervix. The pressure of his knot trying to squeeze into you, mixed with the slow tease of his thumb on your clit sends you screaming over the edge. His name leaves you in a sob that is nothing to do with pain but everything to do with an overwhelming pleasure. 

Gentle kisses are scattered over your neck and jaw as Chris continues to rock his cock into you. The feeling of your release coating his lower stomach, his thighs and dripping on the bed paired with how your pussy is squeezing him sends him right behind you. 

His forehead falls into your neck as his thrusts fall out of rhythm and he slams home one last time, releasing hard. Your name is a growl followed by a whimper as he grinds his cock deeper, fighting the urge and instinct to knot you.

“So fucking perfect, baby girl.” He whispers praise and worship as he presses deep into you one more time, allowing his cock to be the plug that holds your release against your womb. “Good fucking girl, fucking taking all of it.”

You both lay there, a tangled mess of sweat and other bodily fluids, panting heavily as you come back to yourselves. Your chest stings a little but when you open your eyes to see Chris smiling down at you in awe, you seem to ignore the pain. Returning his smile, you reach up to brush his bangs from his eyes, taking in his beautiful amber eyes.

He leans down and captures your lips in a lazy but still vile kiss that is all tongue, like he can taste your post-orgasmic high. His growl makes you clench around him, setting off another chain of events. Chris grinds slowly into you, forcing some of his release from you but the way his cock brushes against your sensitive walls almost brings tears to your eyes. 

You pull back with a gasp as Chris kisses down your jaw and over your neck, nuzzling his nose against it before placing gentle kisses and licks along the line of your jugular. “Oh my god, Chris.”

“You just feel so fucking good.” His teeth graze where your mate mark will go, making you arch up to him. “That’s my good girl, just feel.”

He proceeds to pull more orgasms from you and as he grinds his second deeper against your cervix. His head falls to rest against your collarbone, most of his weight resting on you now. Smiling softly to yourself as your hands rub up and down his back, you notice he is still swollen and hard inside of you. 

“Holy shit, Chris, you’re still so hard.”

He flushes and nods, “if my knot was in you, we’d be stuck for a while.”

“Can we take a bath and you tell me all about it?”

He nods, “of course. I can’t make any promises that I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“I wouldn’t dream of asking you to do so.”

The smile on his face is blinding before he leans down and places a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love you, my darling mate.”

“I love you too, Chris. My savior.” You smile and nuzzle your nose with his. “My alpha.”

Chris groans and instinct makes his hips grind into you, causing you to cry out. The sound that movement makes, the wet slide of his cock pushing into you filing the silence. 

“You might actually cause me to lose my mind.” He whimpers as his cock swells more, pressing tighter against your overly sensitive walls. “We might not be making it to the shower anytime soon.”

You giggle softly and nod, "that's okay baby. I’m all yours.”

His smirk is wolfish, making you flush. “Damn right you are.”

Epilogue

Your feet pound against the freshly grown clover carpet of the forest. Spring has hit Horizon Forest but you can’t stop to admire the beauty. You have to run and you have to get away.

Behind you, miles away is the howl you have been waiting for.

Chris has gotten out of the basement.

It’s been six months since your first night with Chris. Since then, there has been a lot of development and adjusting you have had to make. Chris has had to make his fair share of adjustments too. 

Like accepting your help during his rut. 

Which started yesterday. Tonight is the night before the full moon, when his desire is the strongest. His instincts tell him that tonight is the best night to spread the wolf seed and expand the species. To breed.

This is also the night you two decided he gets to hunt you.. 

“So, can we return to the whole “fucking you in the forest” thing because I would really, really like to discuss that.” 

“Chris, it’s not even 6am.”

“I can’t help it. You have said it no less than five times in the last month.”

“Well, if you can find me, you can knot me.” You shrug, pouring your coffee into your favorite mug. “Simple.”

“Baby, my senses are heightened. It would be a bad sign if I lost.”

You shrug and turn to lean against the kitchen counter. His eyes are trained on your face, watching for a reaction you are not giving away. Slowly, you raise your coffee to your lips and take a small sip. “Win- win for me.” You wink and enjoy watching the cute flush crawl up his neck.

After your injury, Chris told you everything. Some things you had inklings about but others took you by surprise. 

He is a seventh generation werewolf and after losing his parents in a hunter attack, he sentenced himself to a life of isolation.

“We fought that night and I stormed out telling them I felt smothered. They died before I got to apologize.” His eyes were wet but no tears fell, he had done his mourning and had worked through a lot of his pain with the previous alpha of the pack. “So I came here, where my family has had land and I built this cabin.”

“Why don’t you stay with the pack?” 

“Felix and Jeongin are the only ones who stay on pack property for good. Felix needs to be where everyone can find him. Jeongin keeps busy by making sure the houses are in order.”

“Do any of the other guys have mates?”

Chris shakes his head. “Sadly no. None of them have found theirs yet but they all have female wolves they can turn to during the rut to safely get through it.”

“What did you do?”

“Before?” You nod. He wrings his hands in his lap. “It all depended. Before I was alpha, I was with a different woman every month, that’s just how we are. Sometimes we find a connection that makes us commit but most of the time we’re all pretty open.” 

When you’re silent, he continues after a deep breath. “After I became alpha, my ruts became different. They’re a day longer and it’s pretty continuous. Most females have their heats around the same time so it’s easy to keep up with regular wolves but alphas are much more intense about it. Most females cannot handle it.”

“What else is different?”

Chris flushes and looks down at his hands, “only alphas have knots and the sizing is increased slightly to produce and ejaculate more seed.”

You nod slowly, starting to understand.” So the knots are?”

“Plugs. They start growing at arousal and right before climax, if an alpha can get the female to agree, he will get the knot into her before it swells completely. It is locking them together for an extended period of time to ensure the seed is properly absorbed into the womb. Usually, the female heats during ovulation periods so it does end in a successful pregnancy.”

You’ve tilted your head and have been nodding with everything he is saying. “That is so interesting. I had no idea that was even a thing.”

“Shifters are still relatively unknown to human kind. Vampires came out of the dark and some other things followed but shifters like to stick to the privacy of their own kind.”

“So why me, then?”

Chris looks up at you, only seeing curiosity. “I’m not entirely sure. The pack’s theory is that  you offered unquestionable devotion. After I found you, you made your way back to me, even if it was unintentional.”

“So, have you been with anyone else during your ruts? Before we happened?”

He reaches out and touches your ankle, sliding his thumb over the delicate bone, just needing to touch you. “I had one of the guys lock me in the basement of the alpha house during the first rut after I dropped you off at the ranger station when you deemed yourself ready to return to the city.”

“You have been going to the reservation and getting yourself locked in a basement for the last almost 12 months?”

He nods. “ I only wanted you.”

Your heart flutters and you smile warmly at him, reaching up to cup his cheek. He nuzzles into your palm and places a gentle kiss to the pulse point on your wrist. “So you’ve never tried with a human?” 

Chris shakes his head and leans his head back against the arm curled under his head. “Never. You would be my first, if I allow it.” He stops you before you can disagree. “Your skeletal system is slightly weaker than a wolf’s, baby girl. If I move you too roughly, I could break something. If I press too hard in the wrong place, I could kill you. During those days, the wolf is the one entirely in control.”

“To breed a new generation.” Your voice is soft and Chris can’t help but notice the subtle shift in your thighs under the covers, the scent of your arousal stirring his own.  

A low growl rolls through his chest as he closes his eyes and lays back completely, facing the ceiling. “You’re not supposed to be turned on. You’re supposed to be nervous.”

“I trust you with my life. I have shown you that time and time again. I know you used to come curl up either under the window or at the foot of the bed in your wolf form.” You crawl down to straddle him, settling your weight over the thick, pulsing outline of his cock. “You won’t hurt me baby.”

Chris groans when your hips rock against his, “you’ll be the death of me, baby girl.”

“Then I’ll be right beside you, my love.” You lean down and press your lips to his.

That is how you ended up here, running through the forest towards your cabin located in the north east side of Horizon Forest. 

Chris was once again going to get himself “locked” in the basement. This time there are no locked doors, Changbin chained him to the wall instead. Mostly just to give you as much time as you needed to run around the forest before he can get out and start the hunt. 

You spent all day walking around the Forest. From the cabin, to the ranger station, then to some of your favorite spots. As night fell, your anticipation grew but so did your excitement. You took the truck to the edge of the pack’s land and checked your map once more. This was very thought out on your part, Chris didn’t want to know in hopes of making the chanse that more fun for him as well. 

You were headed to the first “check point” on your maps when you heard another howl, closer this time. You knew he would find you but you wanted to make it difficult. Make him earn the frenzied sex he was going to give you. Stopping for a moment, you remove your shoes, socks, and jacket. They each get tossed as hard as you can into different directions. Satisfied, you take off into a thicket of tall bushes, knowing there are trees you can climb on the other side. 

There are no thorns you have to worry about as you pick your way through. You freeze, hoping to pick up another howl or something to indicate where Chris is. An annoyed snarl rips through the air from behind you. He’s at the crossroads you tossed your decoys at.

Across the clearing, you see the giant maple tree. The one you need to get into to hopefully throw him off. The scent of that tree might mask yours enough to grant you a little more time to confuse him. 

Another snarl comes from behind you and you hear him breaking through the brush.

“Fuck.” You take off across the clearing, trying to get to the tree as fast as possible. 

Instead you make it to the first tree and you throw yourself around it just as he stops still hidden within the thicket. He’s tracking you, trying to decide where you went. You breathe as quietly as you can, trying to calm your racing heartbeat, knowing he can hear it but not sure which direction it is coming from. 

After standing still for a few minutes, you decide to make a move. Just as you crouch down to head to the next shelter tree a couple yards away, your knees crack. You curse and Chris howls, finally knowing the direction you went.

You sprint through the trees, not caring if he can see you. All you can do is put as much space between you before he inevitably catches you. Aside from your panting, you hear the powerful footfalls of the alpha wolf from behind you.

Chris told you he was fast but you didn’t expect this.

At the last minute, you decide to change direction, one last time. This direction will lead you to a meadow of soft grass and wildflowers. The grass might be tall enough to hide if you can get to it before he does. 

His snarl as you leave his line of sight once again makes you smirk. You were never athletic but being with Chris has helped your stamina, in more ways than one. For this game, you’ll be damned if you don’t give it your all. You have to assume he isn’t hunting you at full power and knowing that he is playing with you as much as you are makes you excited.

As soon as you make it to the grass, you zig and zag through it before eventually stopping and crouching down, trying to remain still, letting the tall blade of grass settle around you. Your forehead goes to your knees as you force your breathing to slow. 

Your ears pick up on the sound of the grass parting, he’s close again. Knowing it is futile, you’re up and running again as fast as you can. Managing to make it a few more yards, you soon feel arms wrap tightly around your waist and you’re pulled to the ground.

The pair of you roll through the grass and onto the bed of wild flowers, Chris ending up above you. His face is flushed, his body running warmer than usual, he’s breathing heavily, and his usually amber eyes are black as the night around you. His smirk is wicked, his bangs falling into his eyes as he gazes down at you.

You feel the sweat of exertion trickling down your temples, there are leaves in your hair, and you know you look a little crazed but you smile up at your husband. “You caught me.”

“You and I both knew I would.” His voice is rough from his pleas and shouts at you before his wolf takes over. 

Chris is naked between your legs and you can feel the full, hard weight of him pressing against your leggings. His nose finds yours to nuzzle softly before he captures your lips in a searing kiss. Your arms come up to wrap around his neck but he quickly grabs each wrist in one of his hands, pinning them above your head. When you gasp, he takes the chance to slip his tongue between your lips to roll against yours just as he grinds his hips down.

The searing heat of his cock pressing against you makes you whimper and wrap your legs around his waist, moving your hips with his. It’s filthy and uncoordinated as he thrusts against you, the friction against his weeping cock making him growl into the kiss. Each snap sends his shaft dragging over your clit and you feel how ruined your panties and leggings are. Not just from your arousal but from his cock leaking against you as well. 

You’re both now just openly panting into each other’s mouths, his free hand shifting down and you soon feel the cool spring air on your slick and swollen pussy. You arch up, trying to get closer, aching for him.

“Chris, please,”

He groans as his cock slips between your folds and whimpers as his head drops to your shoulder. “Begging for me already?” You whimper and try to press yourself up to him. “Let me stretch you baby girl. I gotta make sure this pussy is ready before I take you.”

Nodding slowly, you force yourself to relax. The smile Chris gives you as a reward makes you clench around nothing. It’s full of teeth and you know he’s doing this for you because once that moon is at its peak in the sky, things will change. He’ll still be human but his wolf will control things, making Chris basically a mindless, breeding machine. 

“That’s my good girl. Relax and let me take care of you. The quicker I can loosen you up, the sooner you’re taking my cock.” He’s released your hands now, fully ripping your leggings off, gazing down at your swollen folds. “Goddamn, I need you to cum on my tongue.”

His nose drags over your neck, while his hips return to their relentless grind against yours, making you drip into the forest floor beneath you. “You smell so fucking good, baby girl.” 

“Baby, please, I need you.” Your whimper breaks off, the ache of emptiness making your voice waver. “I need something.”

His lips are at your neck, kissing over the mate mark he gave you the night of your wedding. The perfect half moon bite mark that Hyunjin tattooed to make sure it remained. Chris had to be removed from the Forest entirely while it was happening. 

“Fuck, when you beg for me so prettily, it makes it hard to say no.” 

You feel like you could cry. The pulse in your core and the feeling of having his cock so close to where you crave it but the relentless teasing is driving you crazy. Your fingers lace into your hair, trying to ground yourself as Chris growls and shoves down your body. 

He heaves your legs over his shoulders and gives you no warning before he drives in, licking a broad stripe up your slit. The groan that escapes him at your taste causes you to gasp, it sounds painful and that is when you realize he is trembling between your legs. 

Quickly he makes a drooling mess of your core and all you can do is hold on, loving the way he’s spread you open, his thumbs spreading your lips as his tongue fucks itself into you. Every so often he slurps your essence loudly and shakes his head from side to side, stimulating your clit with his nose. It is so obscenely messy but you love every second of it, your soaked pussy adding to the mess.

Your hands reach down and thread into his hair as your back arches off the forest floor. He growls and shoves his tongue noisily in and out of you, still slurping anything that leaks from you. 

“Chris! I’m-,”

“Cum.” It’s a growled command of a voice that doesn’t sound like Chris and it makes your hair stand on end. 

His wolf has come to play. 

The way the tongue flattens and focuses on your clit as he tests your entrance. One finger, followed by a second, then easily followed by a third. With his fingers stretching you, his tongue laps at your clit in long, languid licks. You grind against his tongue trying to get more friction. You feel the stretch as his pinky lips are in, giving you the fullest stretch to make sure you take his cock with little to no pain, for the most part. 

“Baby, oh my god!” You’re sitting up now, one hand braced on the ground behind you, the other still in his hair as you roll your hips against his face. 

His fingers are moving at the angle he knows will devastate  your gspot and within seconds he has his fingers battering the sensitive deep spot. You can hardly breathe with how quickly he is sending you up the climb to your climax and you can feel that release building. 

“Give me.” His voice is fully animalistic now, deeper and rougher as he watches his fingers drive you to your release. He leans in and sucks on your clit holding it between his lips as his tongue teases it slowly. 

“Chris! Oh my god, oh my god!” You’re screaming as your climax hits you like a freight train. 

“Yes,” Chris stares as your release squirts out of you, covering his wrist, his chin and neck. “Yes,” his groans rumble against your skin as he licks you slowly through it, twisting his fingers in and out of you. 

When his fingers slip from you, he groans and lays his tongue flat against your entrance and licks hard to “clean” you off. “So sweet, my mate.” He sits up, pulling you onto his thighs and kisses you, not shying away from letting you taste yourself on his lips. 

Moaning into the kiss, you slide one of your hands over his shoulders and the other down until it meets with the swollen bulb at the base of his cock. He whimpers as his hips fuck into your hand, desperate for a release. You feel hot drops of liquid that have leaked from the beautifully swollen head and land in your palm as you drag your hand up the throbbing shaft. 

“Flip me over and fuck me, alpha.” You whisper against his lips and Chris snarls, his cock throbbing and growing in your hand. 

The rut is in full effect now. 

Quickly, he has you on your knees, your chest pressed into the cool earth. Your spine is arched and your legs are spread enough for him to have a perfect, unobstructed view of your glistening sex. A sick smirk is on his lips as he watches your pussy literally drip onto the ground for him. He moves to his knees behind you, dragging his cock through the wetness that is still leaking from you, coating himself in you.

Leaning his chest along your back, a gentle kiss comes to your shoulder and to the side of your head. “I love you so much, baby girl. Tell me if it’s too much. I’ll try my hardest to reign it in.”

You smile and tilt your head to softly press yours to his, “I’m going to be fine, baby. Now please give us both what we have been waiting for.”

“As you wish, my beautiful, brave mate.” He places another soft kiss to your head as one hand guides his cock into you, groaning as he feels your slick, tight heat sucking him deeper. “Fuck, even your pussy is begging for me to breed you.”

You whimper and nod, “yes baby. Knot me, breed me.”

Chris whines and drops his head to rest on your spine between your shoulders. Even after taking his fingers with ease, he knew his cock was still going to be a challenge. During the week of his rut, his cock always hung heavier, sat taller, stretched thicker.

You clench around him once the burn gets almost unbearable, causing his hips to stop. A soft whimper leaves you as his hips gently roll, continuing to sink himself deeper, forcing your walls to stretch for him. 

His fingers circle your swollen clit slowly, making you gasp and rock back to his cock. Your legs spread on their own, as you arch more and press back, trying to take more of him in. Chris groans and manages to slip his cock deeper into you. Your pussy is soaking his cock, mixing with the thick beads of his own precum as he finally manages to shove the last few inches into you.

You moan loudly, feeling the pressure of his knot against your entrance, the bulbous head of his cock grinding against your gspot with each shallow thrust he makes. The sight of his swollen knot pressing against your beautiful stretched walls makes a growl leave Chris. 

“Mine.” You shift, trying to move onto your hands but Chris growls and his hand finds the back of your neck pressing enough to keep your chest to the ground as the other holds your hip in a bruising grip. Satisfied you won’t move, his hips start trusting, devastating you almost instantly.

“Oh fuck, Chris,” you whimper as the sensations threaten to overwhelm you. Each thrust has him against the deepest parts of you but still stimulating the spongy spot he can find with his eyes closed. The stretch that his shaft forced on your walls makes them feel extra sensitive to him so within moments you’re a whimpering and moaning mess, crying into the Forest floor.

The sounds that pass between the two of you are feral and down right cause for concern if anyone were to stumble across you. His hips are slamming into your ass, the skin on skin bouncing off the trees. The wet sound of your pussy sucking his cock in deeper as you drip down his shaft. Your cries of pleasure as he forces your body to feel pleasure you have never known before. His growls and groans as he ruts into you with the sole purpose of putting a new generation of wolf into you. 

“Chris!” You go to slide your hand under you but his hands move to grab both of yours, pinning you to the forest floor beneath him. The weight of him pushing you flat to your stomach as well. You are at his mercy and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Releasing his white knuckle grip on your wrists, his fingers shift so he can lace them with yours. The simple intimate act makes your heart swell and you squeeze his hand softly. “That’s it baby, you’re making me feel so fucking good.”

His whimper resonates against your neck as his teeth scrape the skin softly. His hips have slowed down but the force of his thrusts have not eased. “All mine.” He licks over the mate mark before he bites down.

You cry out his name just as he groans, feeling your walls clamp down around him. He releases your neck and licks over the fresh bite marks slowly, his hips starting a slow, deep grind into you. He’s getting close and you can feel how his cock is swelling, the knot pulsing hotly against your entrance.

“Chris, make me cum baby. It’ll make it so easy for you to knot me. For you to breed me, please.” You whimper before moaning loudly as Chris releases one of your hands and moves it so his fingers expertly circle your clit while stimulating your gspot with every thrust. 

His deep growls rumble through his chest to vibrate against your back as he snaps his hips harder. With the way he is slamming his cock against your cervix and the tight circles he makes on your clit, your orgasm slams into you without much more warning. 

Your scream of his name echoes through the forest as your walls clamp down around his shaft, your release flooding the ground below you and dripping over your thighs. Your body heaves with your breaths, struggling with the weight of the man above you.

Chris lifts his weight off of your back as he feels you struggle to get air, his palms resting on either side of your head as his knees rest on either side of your hips. With each deep grind, he continues to fill you, groaning when he feels your falls fluttering and clutching him. 

Behind you, Chris’s hips start to stutter and he whimpers lowly, forehead dipping to rest against your back. “Good girl.”

“Oh fuck, Chris.” You raise to your elbows, moving your hair to one side, showing your mate mark which he instantly leans forward and latches onto, sucking and licking over the mark. “Mmm, open my legs baby.”  

He growls, not wanting to stop his climb to his orgasm but deep inside his wolf brain, your husband knows you’re right. Without withdrawing from you, he shifts to move your legs, one at a time from between his legs. From here, he gets you both up on your knees. 

The pace Chris sets rewards him with more of your slick dripping down his shaft and over his thighs as he slams into your gspot. It only takes a couple more thrusts and Chris slides his hands down to cup your mound, holding you against him.

“Keep being my good girl and take it.” His hips press him deep, the slow deep stretch filling you deliciously. You feel him grind deeper, almost impossibly so but then comes the resistance.

His knot.

His fingers work your clit to help you relax as Chris continues to thrust his release deeper into you. Gentle lips find the side of your head as you moan and dip your hips and press back, trying to aid him. “Relax for me, baby girl. You’ve done so good for me.” With his soft words, you nod and take a breath to relax. Your thighs are still twitching from your orgasm.

Then you feel it. His hand on your hip guides you back as he slowly rolls it hips in. He roars into the night as his orgasm finds him. The immense pressure and what feels like a “pop” as his knot finally sinks into you. 

Chris groans heavily as his orgasm reaches a second peak, flooding you with more of his release. He holds you to him by the hand on your mound and rocks himself deeper into you, fully sealing his knot into you. The other hand moves up to cup your throat softly, pulling you onto his thighs when he sits back on his haunches, sinking you deeper onto him. 

“Fucking take it, my perfect mate.” He growls against your ear as your pussy flutters around him. “Cum.” His fingers are drawing lazy circles on your clit.

You’re stretched fuller than you ever have been before but you have also never felt better. His fingers circling your clit as the hand on your throat plays with your breath, making you feel deliciously light headed. 

And the way his cock is pressing everywhere inside of you, rubbing every spot, even the ones you didn’t know about, when he commands you to cum, it takes no time for you to soak him once again. 

The hand on your throat is tight enough that your scream is silenced but that just adds to the pleasure coursing through your body. Chris releases your throat and slows his fingers on your clit to help you ride your climax out, his lips on your mate mark once again. 

Slowly, you sink back into him, letting his arms support you. He chuckles softly and presses you tightly to his chest as he shifts to lay you both on your sides. “We’re going to be here a while.”

You nod and rest your head on his bicep, noticing his body has cooled slightly. He’s still incredibly warm but it seems like the height of the rut for the moment has passed. His arm draped over you keeps you plenty warm as you relax in the clearing of soft grass and wild flowers. 

“You did so good for me, baby girl.” His voice is soft as his lips press to the back of your head. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.” It’s then you notice his arm is resting below your navel, where your womb is currently flooded with his seed. “Do you think it’ll take?”

“Even if it takes a few moon cycles for your ovulation to sync up with the rut, I don’t mind practicing.” You giggle tiredly and Chris groans as your walls clench and release around him. “You’re going to kill me, woman.” His nose nuzzles into the spot behind your ear where your scent is the most potent. He already knows it will not take. 

Not this time.

You sighed, stood up, and quietly headed to the stove. A simple plate: rice, chicken, some side dishes. Food he liked and definitely needed.

The hallway light was dim as you padded towards his room. The door was half open, the soft glow of the ring light spilling out. Inside, you moved carefully, staying well out of frame as you slipped the plate onto the desk beside him.

Then you were gone again, retreating like nothing happened.

Chris glanced to the side. His eyes softened instantly, and a small laugh escaped him before he could stop it.

“Oh,” he murmured, voice fond. “This is so sweet.”

He stood, picked up the plate, and turned it towards the camera with a shy grin. “Look, my girlfriend brought me food.”

The comments flooded in

CUTEE COUPLE GOALS 🤍 SHOW HER PLS MAPPY HER ALREADY WE WANNA SEE HER!!

Chris laughed, shoulders shaking.

“Should I ask her to come here~?” he teased, eyes flicking toward the doorway. He already knew the answer. He just enjoyed pretending otherwise.

“Babyyyy!”

Then, louder, playful and whiny, “Babyyyy!”

“Babe, can you come here for a sec?”

You froze in the hallway.

The camera was still on.

Yet you moved back to the doorway where you knew you’d be safe, but not centimeter past it.

When you saw his teasing grin, you just shook your head quickly, eyes wide, refusing to even step fully inside.

“Why nottt?” Chris dragged out, pouting dramatically.

You only scrunched your nose at him in response. No way. Not yet. Not even your voice. Not the risk.

“Pleaaase?” he tried again, smiling too sweetly to ignore.

You hesitated. Then, with a quiet sigh, you stepped just BEHIND the camera. Carefully, you raised your hands and made a small heart with your index and middle fingers right in front of the lens.

The chat lost its mind.

Chris laughed, utterly charmed and steped closer to you and the camera as well. “They think that’s cute,” he said, between the screen and you. “They’re spamming that you should talk.”

Before you could escape again, he gently caught your hand and tugged you closer – careful, always careful not to pull you in frame. “She doesn’t want to show herself yet,” he told the fans, apologetic but calm.

“Sorry,” he mouthed towards the camera, but the apologetic look he gave the camera wasn’t meant for them. He squeezed your hand, reassuring.

That was when you got an idea. You knew that they wouldn't drop until they got what they wanted... So what better way to get STAY's attention off of you than...

In one smooth motion, you slipped your hand away, grabbed the hem of his shirt, and tugged it up just enough for the camera to catch a glimpse of his toned abs… then you bolted for the door.

The reaction was instant.

The chat exploded.

Chris yelped, eyes wide, ears burning as he hurriedly yanked his shirt back down. “Yah—!” He cleared his throat, flustered, trying (and failing) to regain composure. He turned his head, just in time to see you at the doorway, shaking his head with an amused, helpless smile.

“Babe—”

Before he could finish, you flashed him the most innocent smile and a not so apologetic finger heart, then disappeared down the hall, door clicking shut behind you.

“God—” Chris muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair.

He looked back at the camera, embarrassed but laughing  

“My girlfriend, everyone,” he said fondly. “Brings me food and drives me crazy.”

He paused, smile softening.

“That’s my girlfriend for ya.”

A quiet exhale.

“Yeah... She’s something else.”

Rain sheeted across the empty streets. You should have driven straight home after work, but the box of blankets and canned food in your passenger seat wouldn’t let you forget. The hybrid shelter needed supplies, and tonight you were finally making good on your promise.

The sign for Safe Haven glowed a gentle blue through the downpour. You parked close, hefted the box, and hurried inside. Warmth and the scent of cleaner enveloped you. A lone volunteer at the desk looked up, tired but friendly.

“Late drop-off?” she asked.

“Yeah. Thought I’d better bring these before they become a permanent fixture in my backseat,” you said with a small laugh, setting the box down.

She thanked you and reached for an intake form. Behind the inner door came a scatter of small sounds, purrs, chirps, the rustle of paws.  Hybrids in their animal forms or human forms settling in for the night, you guessed.

A sudden bang! made you jump. The door from the back swung wide, and something golden streaked through like a comet.

“Felix!” a voice called from inside. “Wait—!”

Before you could move, a tiny body collided with your chest. Warmth and damp fur hit you all at once. Reflex took over and you caught it—him—automatically.

A kitten, but not quite. His fur was soft caramel marked with faint freckles along the bridge of his nose. Large amber eyes blinked up at you, startling in their intelligence. A deep, thrumming purr rose from his small frame, stronger than any ordinary cat’s.

“Oh—hey, easy,” you whispered, instinctively cradling him closer.

The volunteer rounded the counter, breathless. “I’m so sorry. He never bolts like that.”

The kitten made no move to leave. Instead, he pressed his tiny head firmly against the hollow of your throat, purring harder. His tail wrapped around your wrist, an unmistakable claim.

“That’s Felix,” she explained when she caught her breath. “Twenty-five. Kitten-form hybrid. He can shift, but he likes this size when he’s nervous. Usually when its storming, its been a rough fall for him and these cold fronts. He’s never…chosen someone like this.”

Felix answered with a soft chirrup, paws kneading the fabric of your jacket with quiet certainty.

The volunteer gave a small, amazed laugh. “Hybrids sometimes know their person right away. Looks like he’s made up his mind.”

You looked down at him, your heart caught by those trusting eyes. “So… what happens now?”

“We can start foster paperwork,” she said gently, “or adoption if you want. Either way, he shouldn’t ride home just in your jacket, it isn’t safe for either of you.”

You agree to sign foster paperwork for now since it was a sudden thing and those amber eyes had you melting already. You totally aren't a push over....right? It's just you couldn't imaging breaking his sweet little heart. Just imaging that cute little freckle face frowning already hurt your heart.... yeah you're screwed. 

After filing out the forms the best you could while keeping him close, they ran an initial background check confirming you were safe to house a hybrid. The worker disappeared briefly and returned carrying a compact soft-sided carrier lined with a fresh fleece pad. “Take this. It’s one of our loaners. When you bring it back, we’ll give you a coupon for Hybrid Mart downtown, good for starter supplies or his favorite treats.”

Felix gave a reluctant little whine as she opened the carrier, but he didn’t resist when you eased him inside. Instead, he circled once, pressed his small body to the fleece, and began to purr again, content now that you were still near.

“There,” the volunteer said, smiling as she handed you a simple claim slip along with the paperwork. “This way he travels safely, and you can pick up anything he needs with the coupon.”

You tightened your grip on the carrier’s handle, feeling the steady vibration of his purr through the fabric. “Thank you,” you said softly.

By the time you stepped back into the rain, the box of donations was gone, replaced by something infinitely more life changing. Felix peeked through the mesh, amber eyes catching the glow of the streetlights. He gave a quiet, satisfied trill as if to say he approved of this arrangement.

“Home,” you promised him, tucking the carrier close against your side.

The shelter door clicked shut behind you, leaving only the rain and the soft sound of a chosen hybrid already settling into the next chapter of both your lives.

🌧️😺🌧️😺🌧️😺🌧️😺

A/n: Please let me know if you'd like this to be fleshed out into a regular story or a few more drabbles possibly.

The flowers outside your bed look beautiful. The pink hues and the yellows all over the place, they look stunning under the orange sky. Oh how you wish you could be able to walk down there and touch those flowers. But you're stuck inside the hospital. Everything tied up and connected to you. You look into the mirror, you look terrible. Skin looking sickly, you just don't look or feel like yourself anymore. You've barely eaten and all you do now is sleep. You're still recovering from that car accident. It's taken such a toll on your body and recently your niece has passed on.

Depression and being bedridden doesn't mix well. You haven't had a visitor in weeks. Not even your husband Beomgyu. Not your best friend Gyuri. This isn't the best thirty-fifth birthday you've had.

When you were ten  years younger you imagined getting married to your Beomgyu and having children. 

You’ve been trying for so long, but it never happens, and each failure chips away at you a little more. Beomgyu keeps insisting it’s your fault, like there’s something broken inside you, something you can’t fix. 

He doesn’t even try to hide the disappointment in his eyes, as if the weight of it all is something you should carry alone. Maybe he’s right—maybe you’re the reason things never go the way they should.

Enough on that, today you have a bit more energy. So you convince your nurse that's watching you to go out.

"But miss you need to rest up," she protests, her voice filled with genuine concern as she adjusts the IV drip connected to your arm.

"I'd be gone a moment," you argue, your voice hoarse from disuse. The words scrape against your throat like sandpaper, but you push through the discomfort. You need this. You need to feel something other than the sterile coldness of these hospital walls.

The nurse reluctantly agrees, her expression softening as she sees the desperation in your eyes. "Come back in less than an hour. Promise me."

You nod weakly, already feeling the exhaustion creeping back in just from this brief conversation. But determination burns somewhere deep inside you, a flickering flame that refuses to be extinguished despite everything that's happened.

You say bye to Ms. Wally, she's a cancer patient, but one of the strongest ladies you know. She's been at this hospital longer than you have, she's always writing something down in that worn leather journal of hers. Her fingers, thin and fragile from chemotherapy, grip the pen with surprising steadiness as she looks up at you with those kind, knowing eyes.

"Dear are you feeling better?" Her voice is mixed with concern, each word carefully measured as if she's conserving her energy for the things that truly matter.

"Not really but what can I do?" The honesty surprises even you. With Ms. Wally, pretense seems impossible. She has a way of seeing through facades, perhaps because she's stared death in the face so many times herself.

"Don't put too much—" she pauses to cough, a harsh sound that rattles through her chest, "—pressure on your body. You're healing, even when it doesn't feel like it."

"I won't, don't worry about me." The lie comes easily, but her knowing look tells you she sees right through it. Still, she doesn't press further, understanding that sometimes people need to make their own mistakes to find their way.

You walk outside the hospital, the sun shining directly into your eyes. The brightness is almost overwhelming after weeks of fluorescent lighting and drawn curtains. It's been over three weeks since you left this place, and the world outside feels both familiar and foreign. The air tastes different—cleaner somehow, despite the city pollution. You take a deep breath, feeling your lungs expand fully for the first time in what feels like forever.

Your legs shake slightly as you make your way to the flower garden you've been staring at through your window. Each step feels monumental, a small victory against the weakness that has consumed your body. The flowers are even more beautiful up close. The petals feel like silk beneath your fingertips, soft and delicate, so alive compared to everything else in your world right now. You're not even sure if you'll touch them again, and this thought sends a chill through you despite the warm afternoon sun.

You see taxis coming around the corner, their yellow forms cutting through the traffic like beacons of hope. You wave frantically, worried that your weakened state might not be enough to catch a driver's attention. One pulls over, and you slide into the backseat with relief.

You reach into your pocket to take out a crumpled ten-dollar bill, the paper soft from being folded and refolded so many times.

"You don't have to pay me miss. It's on the house for patients." You remember that voice from somewhere, but your mind feels foggy, like trying to see through thick glass. The medication makes everything hazy, memories blending together in ways that don't quite make sense. You're too tired to remember where you've heard it before, but there's something comforting about the kindness in his tone.

You talk a bit during the ride, though you can barely remember the conversation afterward. Something about the weather, about how the city has changed, about hope and healing. The words wash over you like a gentle tide, soothing in their ordinariness.

When you arrive at your home, you hear voices drifting from inside. Does Beomie have people over? 

The thought brings a mixture of hope and anxiety. Maybe he's finally ready to talk, to work through whatever has been keeping him away from the hospital. Maybe this is the beginning of healing for both of you.

You go to press in the password, but the door is already unlocked. This strikes you as odd—Beomgyu is usually meticulous about security, especially with you being away. A small knot of unease forms in your stomach, but you push it aside. You're probably just overthinking things, a side effect of spending too much time alone with your thoughts.

You walk in and immediately notice a woman's high heels by the entrance. Black ones with red soles—expensive, designer shoes that you don't recognize.

Your heart begins to sink, that knot of unease growing larger and more insistent. These aren't your shoes. They're not your sister's shoes. They belong to someone else, someone who has been in your home, in your space, while you've been fighting for your life in a hospital bed.

The sounds get louder as you move deeper into the house. Voices, laughter, sounds that make your blood run cold. Your legs, already weak from the hospital stay, begin to tremble more violently. Each step feels like walking through quicksand, your body knowing what your mind doesn't want to accept.

"F-fuck!! You're so good B-beomie!!" 

The voice cuts through you like a knife. You recognize it immediately, though you wish you didn't. It's a voice you've heard a thousand times, a voice you've trusted with your deepest secrets, your fears, your dreams.

You walk slowly to the bedroom, each footstep echoing in your ears like thunder. Through the crack of the door, you slowly push it open, and the sight that greets you destroys whatever was left of your already broken heart.

You see your best friend—Gyuri. And your husband, Beomgyu. They're tangled together in the bed you share with your husband, the bed where you've made love, where you've cried about your inability to conceive, where you've planned your future together. The sheets are the ones you picked out together on your first anniversary, now twisted around their bodies in the most intimate betrayal imaginable.

"Oh shit!" Your husband yells, his face going pale as he sees you standing in the doorway. The color drains from his features so quickly you think he might faint.

"Y/n? A-aren't you supposed to be at the h-hospital?" Gyuri yells, her voice high and panicked. They both scramble to put on clothes, their movements frantic and desperate. But it's too late. You've seen everything. The image is burned into your retinas, into your soul.

"Y-you assholes.You fucking assholes!!" You screech, your voice breaking with the force of your anguish. All the pain from the accident, from the depression, from the loneliness, comes pouring out in that scream. Your throat, already raw from weeks of disuse, tears with the intensity of your emotion.

"Jesus Christ, Y/n—" Gyuri starts, her face flushed with panic and embarrassment as she scrambles to pull her clothes on.

"Don't," you cut her off, your voice shaking. "Don't you dare say my name."

"Look, this isn't—this isn't how we wanted you to find out," Beomgyu says, his hands fumbling with his shirt buttons. His voice wavers between guilt and defensiveness.

"How did you want me to find out?" You laugh bitterly. "How long? How fucking long has this been going on?"

They exchange a glance, and that's all the answer you need.

"Since before the accident?" you ask, your voice getting quieter, more dangerous.

"It's not that simple," Gyuri says, finally fully dressed. She's trying to sound reasonable, but her voice shakes. "Things between you and Beomgyu were already—"

"Were already what?" you snap. "We were trying to have a baby. We were planning our future together."

"You were planning," Beomgyu says, and there's something ugly in his tone now. "You were always planning. Planning the perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect life. But what about what I wanted?"

"You married me," you whisper, staring at him in disbelief. "You proposed to me."

"I know, I know, and I—" He runs his hands through his hair, looking genuinely tormented. "I thought I could do it. I thought I could be the husband you needed. But after the accident, when you were so... when you needed so much..."

"I needed you," you say, tears streaming down your face now. "I was dying, and I needed you."

"You're being dramatic," Gyuri says, but her voice lacks conviction. "The doctors said you were going to recover."

"I couldn't even walk for two months. I couldn't remember half of our life together. And you two were—" You gesture helplessly between them.

"We didn't plan this," Beomgyu says quickly. "It just happened. Gyuri was there for me when I couldn't handle... when visiting you got too hard."

"Visiting me got too hard?" Your voice climbs higher. "I was fighting for my life!"

"And I was falling apart!" he shouts back, finally showing real emotion. "Do you know what it was like? Seeing you like that? Not knowing if you'd ever be the same person I married?"

"So you decided to find comfort with my best friend?"

Gyuri steps forward, her jaw set. "He needed someone, Y/n. He was barely sleeping, barely eating. Someone had to take care of him."

"Someone had to take care of him?" You stare at her in disbelief. "I was in a coma for three weeks!"

"And he was by your bedside every day," she shoots back. "Until he couldn't take it anymore. Until he started having panic attacks in the hospital parking lot."

"That doesn't justify this," you say, but your voice is smaller now, confused.

"Doesn't it?" Beomgyu's voice takes on a pleading tone. "Y/n, you've been gone for months. Not just physically—mentally, emotionally. You're not the same person I fell in love with."

The words hit you like a slap. "I had a traumatic brain injury. I've been trying so hard to get back to who I was before—"

"But you can't," Gyuri interrupts, and there's something almost gentle in her cruelty now. "You can't, and we all know it. The doctors know it too, even if they won't say it outright."

"That's not true."

"Isn't it?" Beomgyu's voice is softer now, almost pitying. "You forget things constantly. You have mood swings. You cry all the time. You can barely take care of yourself, let alone be a wife."

"I'm getting better," you whisper, but even as you say it, you can hear how unconvincing it sounds.

"Are you?" Gyuri asks. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're getting worse. More dependent, more fragile, more..."

"More what?"

She hesitates, and for a moment you see a flash of the friend you once knew. "More like someone I need to take care of instead of someone I want to spend time with."

The honesty in her voice hurts more than any insult could have.

"So this is my fault," you say quietly.

"It's nobody's fault," Beomgyu says quickly. "It's just... it is what it is. We can't keep pretending everything's going to go back to how it was."

"I never asked you to pretend," you say, your voice breaking again. "I just asked you to love me through it."

The silence that follows is deafening. In that silence, you have your answer.

Something inside you snaps. All the pain, all the betrayal, all the months of fighting to survive and recover, and this is what you come home to. This is what your life has become.

"You're right," you say quietly, and both of them look surprised by your sudden calm. "I did die in that accident. But I've been trying so hard to come back, to be the person I was before. For him. For you. For everyone who said they loved me."

You take a shaky breath, feeling something shift inside you. "But maybe I should stop trying to be someone who clearly wasn't worth loving in the first place."

"Don't be so dramatic," Gyuri says, rolling her eyes. "You're not going to do anything stupid."

"Stupid?" you laugh, but there's no humor in it. "What would be stupid? Staying here and pretending this is okay? Going back to the hospital and fighting to recover for people who don't want me to?"

"You're talking crazy," Beomgyu says, and for the first time, you hear genuine concern in his voice. "You need to calm down."

"I am calm," you say, and you realize it's true. For the first time in months, you feel perfectly, eerily calm. "I'm seeing everything clearly for the first time since the accident."

"Y/n," Gyuri says, her voice changing slightly, "you're scaring us."

"Good," you reply. "You should be scared. Because I'm done being the victim here. I'm done being the broken one, the burden, the pathetic shadow of who I used to be."

You turn to leave again, but Gyuri grabs your arm. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Let go of me," you say quietly.

"Not until you calm down and we can talk about this rationally."

"Rationally?" You laugh again, that same hollow sound. "There's nothing rational about any of this. There's nothing rational about finding your husband in bed with your best friend. There's nothing rational about being told you deserved it because you're broken."

"You're twisting our words," Beomgyu says.

"Am I? Because I heard every word very clearly."

Gyuri's grip on your arm tightens. "You're not leaving like this. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Let. Go. Of. Me." Each word is pronounced clearly, with a finality that makes both of them step back slightly.

But Gyuri doesn't let go. Instead, her grip becomes painful, her nails digging into your skin. "You're being selfish," she hisses. "Do you know what this is doing to him? Do you know how guilty he feels?"

"He should feel guilty," you say, trying to pull away from her.

"He shouldn't have to! You're the one who's been making everyone's life miserable with your depression and your neediness and your constant—"

"Stop!" you shout, finally wrenching your arm free from her grasp.

The sudden movement throws you off balance, your weakened body unable to compensate quickly enough. You stumble backward, your legs giving out beneath you. Time seems to slow as you fall, your arms reaching out instinctively to break your fall.

But instead of the floor, the back of your head connects with the sharp edge of the kitchen counter with a sickening crack that echoes through the room. Pain explodes through your skull, white-hot and all-consuming. You feel something warm and wet spreading beneath your head, and you realize with a strange detachment that it's blood.

"Oh my God," Beomgyu's voice sounds far away, muffled as if you're hearing it through water. "Oh my God, what did you do?"

"I didn't mean to—" Gyuri's voice is high and panicked now, all her earlier cruelty replaced by terror. "She pulled away, I didn't push her that hard—"

You try to speak, but no words come. The world is spinning, colors bleeding together in ways that don't make sense. You can feel the stitches at the back of your head, the ones from your accident, pulling and tearing. The doctors had warned you about protecting that area, about how fragile the healing tissue was.

"Call an ambulance," you hear Beomgyu say, but his voice sounds like it's coming from the end of a very long tunnel.

"What do we tell them?" Gyuri asks, and even through your fading consciousness, you can hear the calculation in her voice. She's already thinking about how to explain this, how to make it not her fault.

"We tell them she fell," Beomgyu says quickly. "She was upset, she wasn't thinking clearly because of her head injury, and she fell."

You want to protest, to tell them that's not what happened, but your body won't respond to your commands anymore. The warmth beneath your head is spreading, and you can taste copper in your mouth. Everything is getting darker, quieter, more distant.

"Is she breathing?" Gyuri asks, and you realize with a strange sort of peace that you're not sure if you are.

The last thing you hear before the darkness takes you completely is Beomgyu on the phone with emergency services, his voice shaking as he explains how his wife, recovering from a traumatic brain injury, had an accident at home. How she fell and hit her head. How it was just a terrible, tragic accident.

But as consciousness slips away from you, you feel something else. A lightness, as if a great weight is being lifted from your shoulders. The pain fades, the betrayal fades, the crushing disappointment of what your life has become fades into nothing.

And then, impossibly, you're opening your eyes to fluorescent lighting and the familiar hum of office air conditioning. You're sitting at a desk—your desk—but it's not the same. The computer is older, the papers scattered across the surface are different, and when you look at your hands, they're unmarked by IV needles and hospital bracelets.

You reach up instinctively to touch the back of your head, expecting to find bandages and tender skin, but there's nothing. Your hair is longer, healthier, and when you catch your reflection in the computer screen, you see a face that's ten years younger. A face unmarked by trauma and betrayal and months of fighting for survival.

The calendar on your desk reads a date from ten years ago, it's your birthday. You're twenty-two  again, sitting in your first real job, in the office where you've only been dating Beomgyu for four months. Where you and Gyuri got the same job. Where all the choices that led to that moment of ultimate betrayal first began.

Your heart pounds as the implications sink in. You stand up so abruptly that your chair rolls back and hits the wall with a loud thud. Several coworkers glance over, but you barely notice them. Your hands fly to your face, touching skin that's smooth and unmarked by the stress lines that had etched themselves so deeply around your eyes and mouth.

"What the hell?" you whisper, stumbling toward the small mirror hanging by the office coat rack. The reflection staring back at you is impossible—bright eyes instead of the hollow, haunted ones you'd grown accustomed to. No dark circles, no sickly pallor, no visible weight loss from weeks of barely eating hospital food. Your hair is thick and shiny, not brittle and falling out from stress and medication.

You touch your head frantically, running your fingers through your hair, searching for the scars that should be there, the tender spots where they'd shaved your head for surgery. Nothing. Just healthy, beautiful hair that you haven't seen in years.

"This can't be real," you mutter, loud enough that your cubicle neighbor, Minji, looks up from her computer.

"You okay, girl?" she asks, concern written across her features.

You stare at her—Minji, who you'd lost touch with years ago, who'd moved to another city before your wedding. Minji, who's sitting right there, young and alive and looking at you like you might be having some kind of breakdown.

"I—I need some air," you stammer, grabbing your purse and practically running toward the elevator.

The moment you step outside, you break into a sprint. Your legs—God, your legs actually work. 

They're strong and steady and carrying you forward without trembling, without the weakness that had plagued you for months. You run three blocks before you even realize you're doing it, and when you finally stop, you're not even winded.

You look down at your body in amazement. No hospital gown, no IV marks on your arms, no catheter sites or surgical scars. 

You're wearing the navy blue dress you'd bought for this job, the one that had made you feel so confident and professional. It fits you perfectly—not hanging loose like clothes had in the hospital, not tight in the wrong places from inactivity and poor nutrition.

A laugh bubbles up from your chest, wild and free. You can run. You can move without pain. You can breathe deeply without your ribs aching.

"Holy shit," you say to no one in particular, spinning around on the sidewalk. A few people give you odd looks, but you don't care. You feel alive in a way you'd forgotten was possible.

Your stomach growls loudly—a real, healthy hunger, not the nausea and forced feeding of the hospital. 

When was the last time you'd actually felt hungry? 

When was the last time food had sounded appealing instead of like a chore you had to endure?

You spot a convenience store across the street and practically skip over to it. The bell chimes cheerfully as you enter, and you're hit with the smell of fresh coffee and warm food. Everything looks incredible—the bright packages of snacks, the refrigerated section full of sandwiches and drinks, the hot dogs turning on their little rollers.

"Can I help you?" the clerk asks, smiling at your obvious enthusiasm.

"Yes," you say, grabbing a basket. "I want everything."

And you mean it. You fill the basket with chips, candy, a sandwich, a soda, some fruit, cookies, and a hot dog from the warming case. Your hands shake slightly as you pile item after item into the basket, marveling at how easy it is to reach, to lift, to move without exhaustion crushing down on you.

At the register, the clerk rings up your haul with raised eyebrows. "Hungry?" he jokes.

"Starving," you reply, and it's the truest thing you've said in years.

As you walk out with your bags of food, you catch your reflection in the store window one more time. Young, healthy, alive. Somehow, impossibly, you've been given a second chance. A chance to make different choices, to avoid the paths that led to such devastating heartbreak. A chance to save yourself from a future that ended in blood and betrayal and the crushing realization that the people you loved most were capable of such cruelty.

You look around the street with new eyes, seeing not just your past, but your future stretching out before you like an unwritten book. This time, you'll write a different story. This time, you'll choose differently.

This time, you'll choose yourself.

The little contact you and Seungmin had only minimized from there. No more late night phone calls or chats. You were just barely negotiating the doctors appointments. And with nearly 30 weeks pregnant, the birth came closer and closer, hanging over you like a stormy cloud.

After the shame you experienced you chose to keep some distance between you and Seungmin, physically and emotionally. But feelings couldn't be turned off from one moment to the other, right?

And you didn't want to hold a grudge when birthing your son. But you couldn't just go to him like nothing happened. You just couldn't. All the shame and sadness you felt forbid it.

You didn't know what caused the sudden coldness that Seungmin faced you with. Maybe it was his way of telling you that you didn't have a chance with him. Maybe he told you through his actions that you weren't worth his time and he would rather spent it with another girl.

The image of the thin blonde glued to his arm like a lifeline was burned into your mind. Funny, you almost felt like he had cheated on you. Which he hadn't because you never were together in the first place. You never had a claim on him. Heck, you didn't even spoke about the topic 'One-night-stands' since he knocked you up. Never, you had agreed to stop seeing other persons.

So, you were the only one to blame. This mess, this huge fucking mess was only your fault. And now your damn heart was involved and wouldn't face the truth. The truth that you would never be in a relationship with him. That you would never get the love back you gave him. And you couldn't do anything about it.

Sanha had spent the last five days with you, taking Seungmin's place at the appointments while he was away to another photoshoot abroad. On one side you were glad he couldn't come. That gave you more time to recover your broken heart and the ability to face him again. You didn't know what you would do if you had to sit in a room together, waiting for the doctor. No, thank you. You didn't want that uncomfortable silence.

Instead, Sanha tried to cheer you up with jokes and horric stories from the time you had started college and her highschool years.

"To remind you what you will be missing" she had teased, showing you her tongue.

"Oh, I think the headache after a night of drinking won't be something I'll miss." you had replied with a giggle while a part of your brain was still thinking about Seungmin. Maybe he was already sleeping with another idol or model in Japan. Who knows?

You absolutely didn't care.

Well, maybe you did.

Who could blame you?

You thought about the conversation with your cousin. He had encouraged you to show your feelings openly to Seungmin, to ask him out on an actual date. Well, this was before you had seen him with another girl on his arm.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Sanha confronted you as you stepped into your apartment after the doctor's appointment, feeling the exhustion of the day lay heavy on your shoulders. "That was already the tenth time you sighed in the matter of an hour" she poked your side, leaving you squirming.

"Hey! Stop that! I'm fat now and can't avoid your fingers!" you squealed.

"Don't care. That's not my problem, rather my advantage" she smirked, her humoured face growing serious as she flopped down onto the couch with you. Well, you at least tried to do it gracefully but with that huge bump of yours it was rather impossible.

"So, tell me Moma. What's up in your head"

"Just the usual, you know. I still can't believe how my relationship with Seungmin developed." you caressed your belly. A gesture that had slowly grew into a soothing habit.

"Forget that asshole" she rolled her eyes, picking up her phone to swipe through it. "you need to get laid"

You snorted. "Of course. But have you seen the obvious baby belly? I bet everyone wants to sleep with a whale. But hey, at least I can't get pregnant anymore" you shook your head and Sanha giggled.

"Come on. You are a pretty whale" she joked, showing you an instagram acc from a man your age. "This is someone in one of my classes. He is cute and so friendly. Plus, I know from a trustworthy source that he has a crush on you"

Suspiciously, you lifted an eyebrow. She had tried to set you up once before with a guy in her major. Let's just say that he was weird and it was better that it was just one short date.

"Come on! Trust me with this one! I swear" she argued, pouting and making puppy eyes. You knew she wouldn't take a no for an answer and if you wanted to sleep tonight, you would be forced to say yes.

"Are you happy when I say yes?"

"More than happy" she replied, nodding eagerly and already texting the guy. "And then I can send Seungmin a photo from what he is actually missing!" Her laugh was the pure evil and if you didn't know her so well, you would think that a demon possessed her. But no, this was just her personality when it came to you and your feelings.

"Be careful, Sannie, your devil is showing" you pointed to her head where her imaginary horns grew. She quickly covered them, giggling. "Shit, you're right"

❤☯❤

Minho: Y/n? Are you alive?

Minho: Y/n. You can't play dead right now.

Minho: I'm going to annoy you until you are reviving yourself.

Minho: Y/n, I mean it.

Minho: I will not hesitate to send Jisung for you.

Minho: you know how annoying he can be, and ambitious.

Minho: I'm serious, he will come for you. In...

Minho: ...three...

Minho: ...two...

Y/n: Jesus, Minho. What's wrong with you?

Minho: still alive I see. I guess I don't need to send Jisung after you

Y/n: No? Why should you?

Minho: Because we never see you around anymore. Some may think you are dead

Y/n: No, I'm not dead, Min. Just busy

Minho: Uhh, I smell an argument in the air

Y/n: Maybe you should let your nose be checked by a doctor. You shouldn't be smelling such weird stuff.

Minho: So I am right, huh?

Minho: What did that Pabo say to you? Should I air fry him? Or feed him to my cats?

Y/n: Well, it wasn't an argument. We didn't fight, okay? I just misunderstood some of his actions. It's okay, really. No need to bury a body.

Minho: too bad. I already planned out the place where l would bury him.

Y/n: Sometimes I wonder if you're just the male version of Sanha, you know?

Minho: Well, I can't deny some similarities. But my humour is way better

Y/n: Don't let her hear that or your body is the one being buried next.

Minho: hm, i'll take that risk.

Y/n: your choice. But I gotta go now. Need to get ready

Minho: get ready? For what?

Y/n: none of your business?

Minho: how rude. I mean it. Or I'll let Jisung out

Y/n: Why are you threatening me with the quokka? He is cute and cuddly. What is he going to do? Cuddle me to death?

Minho: Maybe. Plus, he is going to annoy you so long until he was the answer I want. And he's going to eat all of your food.

Minho: So, spill. Or I don't have any other choice

Y/n: okay, okay. I'm going on a date

Minho: with Seungmin?

Y/n: no? Why should I?

Minho: why shouldn't you?

Y/n: I think he made his point very clear

Minho: yep, I definitely should air fry him

Y/n: What does that have to do with an air fryer? Nevermind, I need to get going

❤☯❤

As you didn't respond, Minho put his phone away and quickly walked out of his own room. He and every other member just had finished practise and were in the dorms. Everyone chose to spend the early evening at the dorms. Everyone except Seungmin who had quickly ran off to his own apartment, his face hard like stone.

Even before he had asked you, he was sure that something must have happened between you two. Something bad that made you distance yourself from him and the other members. Minho just didn't knew what.

Well, now he was 100% sure that the younger male had done something stupid. Very stupid. That pabo.

Minho sighed, rolling his eyes in annoyance and slipped his shoes and jacket on. "Where are you going to?" Jeongin asked, his head poking around the corner with a snack in his mouth. "Just giving Seungmin a piece of my mind. Oh, I'm going to kick his ass for making me walk out there in this shit weather" Minho grabbed his face mask and base cap along with an umbrella.

"What did he do now?" Chan's head appeared next to Jeongin's, his face showing concern for their other member. Minho sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Y/n wouldn't tell me specifically. She just explained that Seungmin clearly isn't interested in her"

"Well, that's bullshit. We all know how smitten he is" Felix commented who leaned against the wall. "Yes, he even wanted to ask her out on a date a few weeks ago. But didn't because he told me that she was already dating somebody" Changbin added, shrugging his shoulders and throwing an arm over Hyunjin who had appeared next to him.

Minho rolled his eyes in annoyance. "That pabo." He massages his nose bridge. "And now he is sulking and driving her further away just because he is assuming?" another sassy eyeroll.

"Jup, I tried to tell him that he should at least try, especially since she never brought another man up" Changbin nodded, retelling his conversation with Seungmin he had a while ago.

"Okay, I'm going to kick his ass straight to Y/n" the older one agreed and finally slipped out of the dorms and outside into the stormy weather that was already going on for a few days. The hot summer was nowhere in sight.

Even though he wore his face mask and base cap, he still kept his head down so that no fan would recognise him. Right now, he wasn't in the mood for photos. Fortunately, Seungmin's apartment wasn't so far from their dorms and just ten minutes later, he was standing in front of the door, ringing the bell a few times. He didn't even wait for the door to open and instead choosing to push the bell some more just to annoy the younger.

"What the fuck, Lee Minho?!" Seungmin growled and Minho's face lit up to having his goal reached. "Good evening to you too, Seungmin" the older mused, watching the other roll his eyes.

"Why are you here? I thought we have the evening off?" finally, Seungmin let Minho into his apartment who took his base cap and face mask off before answering.

"Yes, we have. I'm here for something else." he crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the wall while Seungmin sat back down on the couch, the TV played one of his favourite shows he was rewatching. "Have you spoken to Y/N?"

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze down. "No, why?" "Because you got her pregnant?" the older replied, sighing. "And maybe because you have feelings for her, pabo?"

"That doesn't matter anymore" he murmured, eyes wandering back and forh but never to his hyung. "Why? Why doesn't it matter anymore? Did she tell you that she wasn't interested?"

"Well, not exactly but-"

"But what, Seungmin? Did you assume that her meeting up with another male was a date? But you didn't ask her, right?" Minho was slowly growing tired of the dumbness of his friend. He wanted to help him, he really did but he was making it very difficult right now.

"No, it was obvious that they were close" Seungmin defended. "Just because they are close, it doesn't mean that they are dating. He could have been family for god's sake" the dancer growled, his voice growing thicker and louder.

Minho stepped closer to his friend, crouching down in front of him. "Do you know what she is doing today?" he asked, his voice not thundering through the room anymore, instead he chose to speak calm with him. When the younger didn't respond, he continued. "She's on a date. And not because she was dating all along, no, because you drove her away."

Seungmin's eyes shot up to look into his member's, to search for a clue that he might be lying. But no, he wasn't lying it was the brutal truth.

"B-But she-" he started stuttering. "No, Seungmin. You are an idiot. So I'm telling you right now." he gripped the vocalist's shoulders tightly. "You. Have. A. Chance." he emphasized every single word, hoping to bring his point across.

"Really?" Seungmin's voice had grown thin, shaky even as he realised his mistake. Guilt washed over him and shame, terrible shame that he could have avoided if he had just asked. Minho nodded. "Yes. You had it since the beginning. Now, go to her and talk. I won't say she will forgive you easily but you have the chance."

Seungmin scrambled up, nearly knocking over the TV as he searched for a fresh hoodie. "Fuck" he yelped as he ran against the door frame, knocking his foot on the hard wood, causing his toe to hurt. Minho sat down on the couch, enjoying the scene of Seungmin jumping on one foot while holding the other and cursing in front of him a little bit. That's for making me walk up here in rain, he thought with a small smirk that he quickly hid.

Before Seungmin could storm out of his apartment, he stilled in the doorway and turned back to Minho. "Min, What if she doesn't want me?"

"Well, I guess then you have to win her back for real" the older nudged him out and Seungmin nodded. In his hurry, he had forgotten any sort of protection from the rain that immeadiately soaked his clothes. He cursed as the cold water hit his skin, holding his hands above his head to shield at least his face. The coldness only made him run faster. Of course he could have taken his car but he forgot to grab the keys. At least he had still some money in his trouser pockets but not much for a taxi either.

❤☯❤

"I didn't know you were so good at sports!" you giggled at the brown haired man sitting right in front of you. Your date was on its peak, Wonho, the blind date Sanha had organised you, was extremely charming and friendly. It was obvious that he was nervous but who wouldn't be? He was cute how he brushed his hand through his fluffy hair every few minutes to soothe his beating heart and the way he played with the fork almost unnoticable.

"Well, I try. I'm good at swimming but I suck at everything on land. Honestly, sometimes I feel like a fish out of water." he added, a laugh permanent on his face. Despite your concerns prior, you had really much fun. He had a great humour and filled the silence with words.

"I know what you mean. That's why I don't even try sports"

The restaurant he had chosen was great with so much meals they offered that you were completely overwhelmed. Plus, this wasn't just a normal restaurant, no, it was michelin restaurant with many stars and absolutely not within your price range. That became painfully obvious when you had entered and the waiter took your jacket and brought you to your table. Not just once you had tried to tell Wonho that you couldn't afford it here but he just patted your hand, that he had taken carefully to help you out of his car and hadn't let go since then, and claimed to pay for the food.

Of course you wouldn't let him do that but he was persistent. Over the course of the meal, you both had told each other things about yourself. What surprised you was that he wasn't even staring so much on your obvious baby bump. Of course, you had told him that you were pregnant and weren't together with the father but despite that, he wasn't asking much more. It was strange. And you somehow liked it. It was like he hadn't just minimized your presence to your pregnancy, no, he was actually interested in you.

And he didn't seem to care that soon, there would be a baby that would demand much attention. "I'm sorry to be so forward but I'm just curious. You don't seem to mind that I'm pregnant. Why? I mean, it wouldn't just be me you will be meeting at some time" you asked him, comfortably leaning your head on your hand. He chuckled, quickly chewing the stew down before answering.

"You're right. At some point, there will be a baby constantly at your side. But honestly? I love kids, especially babies. They are so cute and I wouldn't mind to help you" he smiled, giving you a giddy feeling.

"That's great, thanks" you mumbled, flushed. Despite how well you two clicked, your mind always thought back to Seungmin. To that black haired asshole who wasn't worth thinking about.

And yet, here you were. Comparing them both to each other. Not just once you noted that Seungmin loved to hear you talk, with Wonho, it was mostly him bubbling nonesense to get you to laugh. It was like it was his mission to make you laugh, even though you didn't mind some seriousness. Then, he wasn't as attentive.

You knew it wasn't fair to compare them both. They were completely different people but in secret, you somehow searched Seungmin in Wonho. And that wasn't possible.

Not just once, you whished that it was Seungmin facing you, laughing at your jokes and telling you about the new song he and Chan were working on. Seungmin was much more observing, noticing every little action you did. He would give you a tissue whenever you needed one, ordering your another ice tea without you telling him to.

No, this wasn't Seungmin. And you felt so bad for even trying to forget the black haired through Wonho. That wasn't fair at all. He was a great man with a big heart but you knew deep inside you that there weren't any feelings. No butterflies doing loopings in your stomach. Just a platonic sympathy. And he definitely didn't deserve to be told anything else. You couldn't lie to him, using him as an object to get other your broken heart.

Despite having such a good copamy, you felt more sad at the end of the date. It was already pretty late, nearly midnight since you had so long conversations, and the still continueing downpour of rain was adding to your resignated mood. Your feet were swollen, half from the long sitting and not moving around and half from your pregnancy that made your limbs swell, even your fingers.

Now, you just wanted to get into bed with the big ice cream box Sanha had left in your freezer for sudden heart ache and watch another episode of your series before drifting off to sleep. That was your master plan to avoid thinking about Seungmin so much.

To add up to all your discomfort, little beanie didn't seem to understand that it was already bedtime for him and should already be sleeping in your belly and not kick against your ribs. Damn, he was already strong, you thought after a particular hard kick.

Wonho parked right outside of your apartment building, jumping out of the driver seat while opening an umbrella to protect you from getting wet. He then helped you out which was an exercise itself because the bump in front of you was pressing you deeper into the seat.

"Thank you" you murmured as he clasped your hand tightly in his warm one and helped you up. "Careful Mama" he teased, steadying you with an arm around your waist. It felt wrong to have someone else touching you there despite Seungmin, you thought.

Just in front of the front door to your apartment buidling, you both stopped, his arm still on your waist, his warmth pouring even through your clothes. "Thank you for the great evening" he voiced, a smile on his lips and his eyes sparkled with adoration. You nodded, wetting your lips and looking away.

"Yes, it really nice" you agreed, feeling guilt wash over you. You felt like such a bad person. You needed to tell him there wouldn't be more, nothing more than friendship you could offer. But you didn't want to crush his hopes and hurt his feeling. He was such a great man that didn't deserve a rejection.

"Is everything okay, Y/n?" he asked you, laying his head to the side in concern and cupping your cheek which you hadn't expected and flinched slightly. "Sorry, didn't see that coming" you gave him a crooked smile. "And yes, everything is fine."

You took a deep breath before lifting your gaze to look him in the eye. He stared at you in full anticipation. "Wonho, really, thank you for the great evening. I really enjoyed it and had a great time but..." you couldn't bring yourself to end the sentence, too afraid to hurt his feelings and bring a heart ache to another person.

"...but you absolutely aren't interested in me" he completed the sentence. Now it was his turn in giving you a crooked smile. Well, you hadn't expected him to notice and frowned. "How?"

He sighed but giggled at the same time, booping your nose. "You're wearing your heart on your sleeve Y/n. I could tell with how you reacted that I'm not the one for you. You sometimes looked like your mind was elsewhere. And that's okay."

You stilled, bititng your lip because you felt like such an egoistic asshole. And he was okay with that? Really?

"Y-you aren't mad?" You asked hesitantly to which laughed again, shaking his head at how cute you were. "Oh I'm absolutely fine. I'm not mad at all." He winked at you playfully as you looked at him sceptical.

"Really, I liked talking to you and I hope that the person your heart belongs to is finally seeing what a great person you are."

"Did somebody ever say to you that your a great listener and friend? Thank you" you murmured with a smile. "I've been told" he grinned teasingly.

"And now go up there and sleep. It's way too late for you, Mama" he added mischievously and nudged your arm. You giggled and brushed him off playfully. "Yeah, yeah. I'm already on my way" you rolled your eyes. You hugged him as a goodbye before slowly carrying your tired body up the stairs.

Stairs were another enemy of you. That bump didn't do anything for your agility. You wondered how it would be in a few weeks when the little bean was even heavier. Sleeping in the hall was tempting instead of doing this hell of a workout. You sighed when you finally reached your floor, searching your keys in your bag without looking up.

You hummed in delight when you found it at the bottom of your small, black bag. You hadn't even noticed the person dressed in black clothes sitting against your door. But as he stood up in a quick movement, your head shut up as you picked up the movement from the corner of your eyes.

You screamed terrified, swinging your bag at full force to protect you from the unknown man. The bag hit his head not once but twice, leaving him clutching his head with his one hand while groaning in pain.

"Jesus Christ, Y/n. What do you have in that bag? Rocks" the person moaned, looking up at you. You covered your mouth in shock as you noticed who it was. You squealed in guilt, coming closer. "Ahh, what the fuck are you doing here, Seungmin?!" you yelled, before clasping your hand in front of your mouth as you remembered that this was your apartment building and you shouldn't be screaming right now.

"Oh my god, I hit you" you whispered, touching his head in concern. "Yes, and may I say that nobody will rob you with these kind of moves?" he scratched the spot you had hit. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you. You scared the shit out of me" you scolded him lightly, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"It wasn't my best idea to wait here all dressed in black, I guess" he laughed awkwardly, cursing himself for spooking you so much. His face became serious. "How was your date?" his voice was tight and clipped, looking away. You sighed, brushing your hand over your hair. "It was okay. Wonho is a great person" You saw him flinch slightly at your words, his eyebrows knitted.

Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. "That's - uh - that's great, I guess" he stuttered, looking less confident with how his shoulders sagged.

"But he wasn't the right one. I didn't feel anything beside the platonic sympathy" you added, watching how his head shot up immediately in hope.

"What are you doing here, Seungmin? The next appointment isn't until next week" you mentioned curiously. Seungmin sighed, pain shooting into his heart beause you thought that he was only here for the baby and not for you. Which wasn't true. He had made you believe that. And he was such an idiot for that.

"I wanted to see you" he murmured, his voice thin and emotional. He knew if he wanted to have you back, he would need to be honest even though it was difficult. His gaze was turned away shyly as he exposed himself to you.

You frowned, knitting your eyebrows in confusion. Yes, you were confused. Confused because he was here, standing in front of you. Confused why he was talking to you at all when this was the closest thing to a normal conversation in weeks. "Y-You wanted to see me?" you stuttered, suddenly very uncertain about the situation and how you should react to such an statement.

"Yes, I needed to see you" he confirmed with a nod, a shy blush forming on his cheeks. He then seemed to remember something and pulled out his second hand from behind his back. "I also got you that" he murmured shyly while scratching his neck. In his hand was a small bouquet with different kinds of flowers. Roses, Lilies and so much more.

Carefully, he reached out to you, laying the flowers into your hands which you clasped tightly like a lifeline. They were stunning and you would lie if you said that it wasn't doing anything with your heart. In fact, it was doing loopings and beating faster, threatening to jump out of your chest. But it all confused you even more. Why was he here all of the sudden, saying he needed to see you and giving you flowers when just days ago he wouldn't really reply to any of your texts, let alone talk to you?

You knitted your eyebrows and laid your head to the side. "Why are you here, Seungmin?" you asked carefully, voice wavering slightly, afraid of what he might answers.

"Because I need you, Y/n. And not just as a mother to my child. I need you because I you make my day better. You make every conversation, every little thing into an adventure that has me wandering what will follow. I need you because I can't bear to spend a day without your beautiful smile, your laugh that lights every room you enter"

Your breathing stocked as you processed his words, your fingers curled around the stems of the flowers, trying to ground you. Trying to keep yourself from imagining things. As tears of overwhelm built up in your eyes, you shook your head.

"Why, Seungmin. Why are you saying that?"

"Because it's true. It's true that I can't live without you anymore without spending every second away from you, asking myself what you are doing. I never thought that I would find my person as an idol. But I did. And it's you, Y/n. You are my person" his words were clear and strong, not wavering or showing any signs of uncertainty. No, he was meaning it. Every word was meant like he said.

Despite your efforts to keep the tears in, a stray tear escaped, rolling down your cheek as your heart clenched tightly. Your breathing was shallow and your fingers trembled. "Then why? Why Seungmin? Why did you meet up with that blonde girl? When what your saying is true, why did you choose to have sex with her?" you confronted him, more tears rolling down your face as your voice overlapped, breaking in the middle.

This was torture, pure torture. Seeing him walk down the street with that girl glued to his side was your personal hell. And just the mere though about it, what they were about to do, made your heart shatter into a million pieces again.

Hesitantly he came closer, his face twisted in pain as he thought back to that day. He regretted his decision. He regretted that you had seen him him with another girl and he definitely regretted watching your face fall into sadness. Gently, he cupped your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

"A few weeks ago, I wanted to ask you out. On a real date. But I watched you in a café with another man. I thought that you were already dating someone and got angry. I was trying to forget you, to get you out of my head but nothing worked." he answered, voice gentle and soothing.

You knitted your eyebrows, thinking who he could mean. "That was my cousin you idiot!" you snorted, shaking your head in disbelief.

"I could beat myself for assuming so quickly - without asking you first" he answered truthfully, before clearing his throat. "When I was with that girl, I tried to forget you. And when you saw us? My own heart shattered into pieces watching your face fall. I promise, nothing happened. I couldn't do it. Because whenever I closed my eyes, I saw you."

You quietly gasped for air. "Y/n, I'm so sorry for being so distant. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. I was an idiot for believing that a distraction could help me forget my feelings because it didn't." a small smile formed on his lips and his fingers caressed the tender skin of your cheek. As the loose fabric of his hoddie's sleeve brushed over your face, you gasped again, shocked how wet it was. That explained why his hands were so cold too.

"Seungmin, your hoodie is wet! You will get sick" you muttered but the black haired only shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. I needed to tell you what I feel, Y/n. It doesn't matter that I have been waiting for hours. Because I couldn't hide it anymore and bring even more pain to you. Because the truth is, that I love you." he made a little pause to look you deep into the eyes. "I love you, Y/n. You and our little bean. I love you both so much it hurt to be away from you",he whispered and his face came closer, his lips almost touching yours. You didn't even try to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks as your fingers clutched the fabric of his black hoodie. "Seungmin, I love you too" you murmured against his lips and finally overcame the small distance. His lips were soft like a pillow and you felt his breath getting caught in his throat as he pulled you impossibly closer.

Kissing Seungmin was like breathing air after diving too long in the sea. Like a missing piece of a puzzle finally slipping into the right spot. It felt magic. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers in his damp hair.

When you ended your kiss, he leaned his forehead against yours, smiling brightly while tracing patterns with his index finger on your cheek. You returned the smile, leaning against him comfortably. Now, your heart finally didn't feel stabbed anymore. Like it was healing, slowly and piece by piece. It already did loopings in your chest, beating faster at what just happened.

Seungmin pecked your lips once more before bending down to search for your apartment keys you had let go of. Triumphantly he smiled, trying to distract you from the blush on his cheeks that most likely matched your own.

"Let's get you inside". he murmured, grabbing your hand slowly and interwined his fingers with yours. You nodded, following him like a lovesick puppy (that you were). He let you in first before locking the door behind him and you sighed comfortably as the warmth enveloped you. You saw how Seungmin shuddered slightly. You took his hand again, noticing how cold he really was. No doubt, if he went home like that, he would definitely catch a cold.

"You're shaking" you noted and he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm fine. It's pretty late. I should leave you alone to sleep" he murmured, brushing over your hand affectionately.

You shook your head no. Absolutely not. You weren't letting him go in this state. "Stay" you said certainly, already pulling him through your apartment. "Are you sure? I don't want to overstep" he layed his head to the side but followed you either way.

"Yes. You will be sick if you don't" you firstly filled a vase with water and placed the beautiful flowers in it, arrannging it on your kitchen counter. Then, you strolled to your bedroom and rummaged through your closet until you found some pieces your cousin had forgotten here a while ago when he had visited. He lived far away and always slept here whenever he wanted to meet your side of the family. "Should I be worried why you have men's clothes in your closet?" he teased with a smile, taking the hoodie and shorts thankfully.

You poked his side while rolling your eyes. "These are from my cousin. Don't worry" you added, walking to the bathroom with a hand on your back. This whole standing was the dead of your back. And your feet were killing you too.

In the doorway, you turned. "Up for a bath?" Seungmin nodded, noting that it will be the best to finally ward off the cold out of his bones. You hummed as you let the bath tub full of water and added a bath bomb along with some oil.

As you waited for the tub to fill, Seungmin stepped closer to you. You felt his presence behind your back and relaxed, especially as his arms sneaked around your waist and he hugged you from behind.

"Wanna keep me company?" he whispered into your ear, caressing your bump gently. You nodded, turning in his arms and catching his lips with your own. He moaned into the kiss, kneading your sides. Slowly, his lips moved against yours and he licked questionately with the tip of his tongue over your lips. You moaned loudly, opening your mouth which he immeadiately used to slip his tongue into your mouth. Tenderly, he let it dance around yours which turned slowly into a fight over dominace.

Your hands shot up to his hair, brushing through his soft strands and pulling gently, earning another breathy growl. Your teeth clashed together as the kiss got rougher and more passionate. Heat pooled in your stomach, leaving you whiny.

Before you could rip his clothes off his lean body, he broke off the kiss. He chuckled at your disheveled and desoriented state, pecking your lips and nodded to the tub. "It's full. We should soak in the warmth first, especially with your back hurting" he caressed your back gently. You were shocked that he had noticed your pain. Just this mention alone made your heart beat faster in delight.

"You're right" with that, you watched the black haired strip bare of his clothes. If Sanha was here, she would have mocked you about your open mouth and nearly drooling. But luckily she wasn't here to tease you. You knew he was lean and muscular but damn, he must have bulked up more since the first (and last) time you had seen him naked at the one-night-stand.

Everything on him was perfect, built like a god. You definitely understood why his fans freaked out whenever they saw him. Because you were freaking out too on the inside. You felt the heat in your cheeks and were sure you could compete with a tomato right now.

In a swift motion, he stepped into the tub, moaning as the hot water enveloped his cold skin. Goosebumps formed on his arms as he leaned back, watching you with a crooked smile. "Are you gonna stare forever or are you gonna join me at some point? Do you wanna take a picture? It holds longer" he smirked and winked at you, observing how the blush in your face intensified.

You cleared your throat, stepping from one foot to the other. Suddenly, you were nervous. Anxious even. This would be the first time he saw your pregnant body. You had swollen legs and feet and with over 30 weeks pregnant, your skin around your belly was strechted and marks were forming, blue and ugly.

You never were so self-conscious before because you had always been satisfied with your body but now? You whole body had changed, nothing was like before and most likely would never turn back to what it had been.

Water splashed, breaking your trail of thoughts. Seungmin leaned over the bathtub rim, water dripping down his arms as he props himself up. "Hey, Y/n. What's going in your cute little mind, huh?" he asked tenderly, his voice soft and soothing.

You cleared your throat, looking down at the white tiles. "Nothing..." you answered hesitantly, drawing out the word. The black haired layed his head to the side, analyzing your body language.

"If it's about your body, I need to tell you that I find you incredibly attractive. With or without your bump. Honestly, I think you're even hotter with a baby in your belly" his ears turned red but his words lacked any sign of lying. They were dripping of pure honesty, leaving you blushing and smiling.

Still nervously, you shrugged your pullover and your jeans off, leaving you only in your underwear. Silently, you watched Seungmin's face closely. But you only saw affection in his eyes. With a deep breath, you slipped out of the last clothes and stepped into the tub.

Seungmin positioned himself in front of you, turning you around so that you could sit in his lap. His forehead touched yours. "See. You look absolutely perfect. Like a goddess" he whispered into your ear and pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, making your breath hitch. Your fingers clutched his shoulders as his own massaged your sides and travelled up and down your back.

Along with the warmth, you felt the tension slowly fade and you relaxed fully in his arms. His little pecks and suckles continued on your neck, bringing back the longing and desire you had felt earlier.

You pushed his face away from your neck and captured them instead with your own. Again, his tongue slipped inside your mouth as you lazily made out with each other. Heat started to pool in your stomach again and you moaned into his mouth from time to time. You were desperate for more.

But not just you were affected by your passionate kissing, his own cock started to harden, twitching between your thighs whenever he drew a high-pitched moan from you. Experimantaly, you rolled your hips, earning a breathy groan from the man underneath you and his fingers tightened around your waist. Surely, he would bruises there but you couldn't care less.

All you wanted was to relief the aching between your legs and to finally let go. To let go and fall for the desire and longing you had haboured since the night you had created the life inside your belly. Since then, you were desperate for more. To feel him again. To feel the pleasure and the bliss he had given you.

You rubbed your core repeatedly against his cock, feeling him moan into your mouth whenever his hard member slipped through your wet folds. The whole sensation left you shuddering. He stopped your movements with his hands on your hips, breaking the kiss. You both heaved, chests touching. "Stop, my love. Are you sure you want to right now?" his voice was raspy and deep, showing the desire he felt. You nodded eagerly and tried to move again.

"Are you sure? I mean I won't hurt the uh - baby, right?" His ears turned pink instantly and he scratched his neck. You giggled, shaking your head at his adorableness and letting it fall onto his shoulder. Gosh he was so cute.

"The baby will be absolutely fine. He isn't going to get hurt at all" you placed a gentle kiss on his sensitive skin before you lifted your head to peck his lips. Then, you straddled him, lining his hard cock up with your pussy.

Slowly, you sank down onto him, feeling him glide against the tender skin. After such a long time without sex, you knew you needed some time to accommodate to his size. He wasn't that thick but very long and he stretched you out. With shallow breaths, you tried to relax around him to ease the pain if the stretch. To keep you from focusing too much on it, Seungmin brushed his hands up and down your waist, kissing your forehead soothingly.

"Are you alright?" He asked into your ear, telling you that it was completely fine stopping at every moment, whenever it got too much or painful. You shook your head, giving him a crooked smile. "I'm fine. The burn isn't that intense anymore" you calmed him down, testing how you felt with rolling your hips.

He moaned at the feeling of the velvety walls dragging against his sensitive cock. You both opted for a slow pace, passionate and full of longing and desire you both had suppressed for so long.

"At least we don't need to use protection anymore" you giggled which turned into a moan as Seungmin hit the right spot inside of you. He snorted, rolling his eyes playfully. As your movements turned sloppy, Seungmin took over, moving his hips up and down.

You leaned your head against his neck as you whined, feeling your legs tremble slightly. Your fingers clawed at his back, surely leaving some marks. The black haired kissed the spot between your neck and shoulder, sucking at the sensitive skin which only added to your pleasure.

As he tried a new angle, you moaned high-pitched, the new spot he hit inside you let you see stars and you clenched around him, earning a breathy groan. Your mind was swimming in pleasure and desire while a knot formed in your core, tightening ever so slightly with each thrust.

"Oh my god, Seungmin" you muttered in between heavy breaths, sweat forming that was immeadiately washed away by the warm water around you. It splashed as his movements grew faster, more desperate. He was chasing his own high, you could feel it.

"I'm close" you stuttered, lifting your head to look him into the eyes. They were dilated with lust and a deep adoration, the love he had talked about earlier. He smiled widely before pressing a kiss to your lips. "Me too, my love" he whispered against them, his tongue dancing with yours in their own dance.

His hands grabbed your hips, guiding your body up and down with surprising strength. His hips met yours halfway, slamming into you to draw these beautiful sounds out of you that he loved so dearly. His thrusts got faster and harder, pushing you to the edge and suddenly the knot in your core dissolved, leaving you in pure bliss. His own orgasm followed almost immeadiately, his hips stuttered and he pressed his cock deep inside of you, feeling how your orgasm made your walls clench down on him, massaging his cock.

He moaned, letting his head fall on your shoulder, his wet hair tickling your skin. You felt himpulsating inside of you, only adding more pleasure to your own high.

It took you both several minutes to catch up afterwards. He was still deep inside of you, his cum filling you to the brim. You felt warm, giddy even and utterly exhausted. His hands glided over your back soothingly, helping you to control your rapid breathing.

"Let's get you cleaned up", he murmured into your ear, his voice raspy and deep, sending a chill over your back. You nodded trying to get up from his lap but slipping and crashed back down. Jup, your legs were definitely wobbly.

He groaned as his cock brushed over your walls. He stilled you, stopping you from another attempt. "If you keep doing that, we won't sleep tonight" he replied, voice thick with lust. You giggled. "Ups, sorry"

Carefully, he lifted you up until his cock slipped out of your pussy before sitting you back down on his lap. The feeling of the sudden emptiness left you whining. He laughed wholeheartedly, pecking your forehead affectionately. He grabbed a wash cloth you had laid out earlier and spread some body wash over the soft farbric, rubbing it in and then trailing it over your back and shoulders. You sighed comfortably, laying your head on his chest, closing your eyes.

Carefully, he poured over your head to make your hair wet. He massaged your scalp with the shampoo and conditioner, poking your side as he let it rest. "Don't fall asleep on me now" he whispered into your ear. You murmured something incoherently, lifting your head up. Your eyes were still half closed and a dreamy smile formed on your lips. "Never" you replied, earning a chuckle. "Of course" he washed the conditioner out of your hair and helped you climb out of the tub ungracefully.

"Oh my gosh, I feel like a walrus" you comment with a giggle, wrapping your hair in a towel and your body in a bathrobe with your belly peeking out. "No, you're more like a fairy. A beautiful one" he corrected with a smirk. You snorted, rolling your eyes. "Are looking at your own reflection in the mirror? Or am I just a fat fairy?" you giggled, poking his defined, exposed belly. He squirmed away from your touch, defending himself against you.

"You're not fat. You have my baby inside of you" he corrected again, caressing over your belly.

You giggled, nodding along. "You're right. And I don't regret being pregnant at all. I kinda love the feeling of having a bump even though it's getting on my nerves sometimes when nothing is fitting anymore"

You let the bathrobe fall, walking to your cupboard completely bare, knowing that Seungmin's hungry eyes followed every step you took. "Wanna take a picture? It's gonna hold longer" you winked, picking up the phrase he used before. He shook his hand in amusement, a corner of his lips twitching upwards. You rummages through the cupboard, grabbing a special lotion that really helped moisturize your stretched skin.

Before you could spread some of the milky liquid on your hands, Seungmin took the bottle from you. "Let me" he commented, rubbing the lotion between his hands and laid them gently on your belly. You stilled, holding your breath as Seungmin moved his hands in slow circles.

He caressed his fingers over your stretch marks, drawing figures over your sensitive skin. You giggled. "What are you doing?" you laughed. "Worshipping your body, what else?" he responded playfully, tracing every little thing that lets you sometimes feel self-conscious about. He cupped your bump with his hand, smiling widely in happiness as well as in shock as your skin extended slightly right were his hand was.

Your little bean was kicking, or rather running a marathon in your belly with how much kicks hit you. You winced as he boxed you right in the ribs. "Beanie, isn't it way too late for you? It's bedtime" the black haired scolded your child, index finger pointing at your belly and poking back whenever a new kick hit you.

"At least I know now where all this kicking and poking comes from" you rolled your eyes dramatically, squirming away from Seungmin's hand. "Stop running away! I was having a conversation with my son" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"You can have as much conversations as you want when beanie is born" you replied mockingly, slipping into a wide t-shirt and shorts because you couldn't fit your pyjamas over your bump anymore.

"But that will take such a long time!" Seungmin pouted but also dressing in the clothes you had layed out for him.

"such a long time? Seungmin, I'm 32 weeks now. With only 8 more weeks to go" you corrected, already feeling giddy as you thought about holding your little bean in your arms. Well, first you had to survive the birth.

"That are 8 weeks too long" he smirked, grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the bathroom. Together, you walk into your bedroom, jumping into bed with the blanket like your own little bubble of comfort. Without second thought, he pulls you towards him until your face is only centimetres away from his, your legs tangled together.

Now, the weight of the day settled again, laying heavily on your eyelids. Sleepily, you blinked, shuffling until you laid comfortable which grew more difficult with how further this pregnancy progressed. Seungmin gave you a kiss on the nose, featherlight and tender.

"Good night, my love" he whispered which you replied, loving how his hands sneaked around your waist, caressing your bump lovingly. Lulling you to sleep with his breath hitting your shoulder as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his rich scent.

❤☯❤

The next morning, you slowly woke up to the feeling of warmth radiating around your body, enveloping you in a cocoon of comfort. Your eyes were still closed, thinking that a little bit of sleep wouldn't hurt anybody. You loved the warmth that's why you always let your curtains wide open to let the sun in. Just like now. The sun must have fought against the heavy rain to shine so warmly.

But it wasn't the sun that warmed you, it was something or rather someone. Seungmin to be exact. You were in his arms, cuddled up with your back against his chest. For a second, his lips pressed a ghost like kiss on your neck where his head had tested before his arms opened and he quietly shuffled out of bed.

Confused, your eyes fluttered open, asking yourself why he was getting up. And it wasn't even six o clock yet. And the sun wasn't even shining, thick raindrops still hitting your window with force. The storm hadn't even begun wearing down.

Your bed squealed slightly as he moved to the edge, sitting up and rubbing over his face in exhaustion. You stilled completely when you heard his bare foots against your floor, almost soundlessly sneaking out of the room.

You turned to the now closed door (which was a full workout with the bump) and suddenly felt so cold. Now, your personal heater was gone and with him was your confidence you had yesterday before going to sleep. Never, you would have thought that a single action would make you question everything he had said and done.

Was he leaving? Despite having been up for only a couple of minutes, your mind was running a marathon. Why was he leaving? Why didn't he stay with you?

Was he regretting what he said yesterday? Was he ashamed? Thousand questions bombarded you, leaving an insecure and self-conscious person behind.

Was anything he had said true? Could you believe him? Or was this all just a sick joke you fell for?

You sighed, already fighting your tears. How could you be that dumb? How could you think he really thought of you more than just being the mother to his unwanted child? Pathetic, absolutely pathetic. He had fooled you once, you had misunderstood once and now, you were repeating the same mistake again and again.

You rubbed your hands over your face, refusing to cry over a man that hurt your heart already. There was nothing left to break. It was already in shambles, everything. Your heart, your mind and your whole body.

Even though, you didn't want to meet him while he was sneaking out like an unimportant one night stand, you couldn't think about getting back to sleep right now. So, you pushed your overly tired body up and sighed as you already felt the back pain beginning to form. That was going to be a long day, you thought.

Quietly and with a sour mood, you walked into the kitchen, eyebrows knitted in annoyance. You stopped in your tracks when you saw Seungmin. He is still here, you thought surprisingly.

His head shot up in surprise when he heard your steps. His smile was warm, inviting you closer. But you were hesitant, having actually expected him to quickly flee from your apartment and never speak again about what had happened yesterday.

You wrapped your arms around your body, trying to shield what he was going to say. Would he say that you two should better forget what had happened in the bath? Would he thank you for another one night stand and make you sign another NDA?

You noticed that he was already dressed in his own clothes again that you had thrown over your towel dryer but you doubted that they were already dry since they weren't long enough on it.

"Y/n! Why are you awake? I'm sorry if I woke you up" he sounded genuine like he meant what he said. But you didn't trust the adorable smile on his lips that made his dimpled pup out, you couldn't. Not when he could crush the hope that bubbled up inside of you within a few words.

"So, you wanted to leave? Without saying something?" You replied coldly, not answering to his question. Judgemental, you squeezed your eyes together, watching how his movements stilled for a second.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you up this early. But I have practise in about an hour" he voiced without any sharpness, just the gentleness he had shown you yesterday. Oh, but you weren't buying that.

"Was any of what you said yesterday true?" Your voice vibrated harshly with the hardness that echoed through the room, showing clearly how hurt you were from him sneaking out. Seungmin's concerned face grew tenderly, even a little bit calmed down.

With careful steps, he came closer to you until his hands wrapped around your upper arms. "Or was it just a one night stand again?" You tried to sound carefree as if the answer he was about to give to you wouldn't change everything. But your own voice betrayed you, breaking in the middle.

Seungmin's eyes softened even more, his fingers rubbing over your bare arms soothingly. "Oh Y/n, I meant everything I have said. Every. Single. Word. I love you and the baby, so much. I'm sorry I made you doubt my words. But they are true. You are my everything. I love you" goosebumps formed all over your body as you processed his words. They wasn't any hesitance or shaking, nothing that would show you that he was toying with you. No, he meant it. Every single word.

Your resistance crumbled and thick tears of reluctance rolled down your cheeks. Seungmin cooked at you, hugging you tightly and swaying your body from left to right in a soothing manner. "Sh, it's okay. It's my fault. I should have made it very clear that I'm not joking"

"So you are not regretting anything?" You whispered in his hear, voice shaky and thin. Seungmin shook his head, bringing a few centimetres of distance between your faces to show you how serious he was.

"I don't regret it. I don't regret having sex with you yesterday. I don't regret falling so deep for you that even I can't deny anymore that I'm whipped. And I'm absolutely not regretting our one night stand that lead up to this point. No, I'm thankful for that. Because that night changed everything. My life did a full turn, but it got so much better. Because I not just found my one person I'm sure I'll marry someday, but I also got gifted with a wonderful son that will have the beauty of his mom. And maybe Santa isn't bad either but we don't tell her that" Seungmin smiled brightly, proud of you and what he had been gifted with.

You couldn't help but stifle a laugh between your overwhelmed sobs at the mention of Sanha and their love hate relationship. These raw feeling made your heart feel light and beat faster as if it tried to jump straight out of your chest to be closer to Seungmin.

"W-what are we, Seungmin?" you added. You couldn't breathe, just the mere thought that he could maybe just want friends with benefiets made you squirmish with anxiety. But Seungmin's smile never died down, not when his hand gently cupped your cheek, pushing your chin up so that you needed to look him in the eyes. His index finger drew lines over your bottom lip, making you nearly sigh deeply into the tender touch.

"Whatever you want us to be, my love" he murmured, eyes observing you softly. "Because I'll be happy with everything you give to me. Like I said, you ruined me for every other person. I love you. And I would be happy - no, I would be over the moon to call you my girlfriend."

You gulped, a small smile spreading over your lips as you layed your hand over his that was still coupling your face. "Then, I'll gladly call you my boyfriend" he shuddered at the phrase, closing his eyes to get used to the sweet sound of boyfriend from your mouth. Gosh, he already loved this name. He should record it and make it his ringtone.

"Say it again" Seungmin plead, the biggest smile lighting his whole face, dimples showing and eyes forming crescents.

"What? That you're my boyfriend?" You giggled, mocking him lightly to which he whined in response.

"Stop teasing me, my love." He pouted, looking exactly like a puppy. You laughed wholeheartedly. "Seungmin, my boyfriend-" you began, wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him closer which he hadn't expected at all. "-I love you too" his eyes sparkled like you had gifted him the world on a silver plate.

"Oh I love that sound" he murmured, connecting your lips in a passionate kiss and you felt him smile. Before you could even think about deepening the kiss, you picked up a strange smell. It smelled burned and you broke the kiss to check where the ugly smell came from.

"What is smelling so burnt?" You questioned, knitting your eyebrows and sniffing the air. Seungmin stilled and yelped, running out of your intimate hug to your cooker. Dark grey smoke rose from the pan and you coughed, quickly opening a window to prevent the fire alarm going off. With a hand covering your mouth and nose, you waved your other hand from left to right.

"Oh my god, Seungmin. What did you do?" You coughed out, turning to him as he moved the pan from the cooker to another surface where it wouldn't burn further. He scratched his neck, chuckling nervously. "Actually, I was making pancakes for you to eat later when you wake up. But I guess I should leave the cooking to Felix and Chan" you giggled, shaking your head at his comment.

"No word to anyone. I swear!" He added, panic settling into his eyes. "Felix will unalive me if he finds out that I ruined pancakes that were made after his recipe. He will take that personally" he told you with wide eyes.

Your giggles turned into a laugh. You couldn't imagine the kind sunshine Felix to murder your boyfriend. Boyfriend. That sounded unfamiliar, even in your thoughts. But not in a bad way, no, it made you giddy, excited for the future awaiting you two.

Seungmin checked his phone, cursing as he saw how late it already was. "Shit, I need to get to practice" he murmured, quickly saying goodbye to you with a peck on your lips and a affectionate rub over your bump. He was nearly completely out of the front door, when he stopped again, turning around and grinning widely. "Can I see you tonight again?" As you nodded, his smile widened even more, winking at you and yelling an 'I love you' so loud that you were sure that the whole apartment building had heard it. Either way, you followed his example.

❤☯❤

Chan's Chaos kids + Y/n

Chan has added you to the group chat.

Hyunjin: Tell me, Y/n. Spill. What did that idiot pay you for you to be in a relationship with him? Thousands? Millions?

Changbin: He isn't that rich.

Seungmin: Rude.

Y/n: he didn't pay me anything.

Jisung: WHAT? SINCE WHEN? WHAT HAPPENED?

Jeongin: Hah, I knew it. Changbin and Felix give me my money.

Seungmin: You actually made bets? What kind of friends are you?!

Jeongin: Friends who know how profitable bets can be. I expect you to give me my 50$ after dinner. And Sanha wants her money too.

Felix: I'm never betting with you ever again.

Changbin: I bet he is going to do the exact opposite in three days.

Minho: I bet that he will start betting again tomorrow.

Changbin: deal.

Seungmin: You guys are unbelievable.

Y/n: Wait guys. Sanha bet how long it's going to take us to get together?

Jisung: Yes, and she was pretty accurate.

Y/n: Betrayed by my own best friend ...

Hyunjin: Welcome to our family

Y/n: okay, now I slowly see why this chat is called Chan's Chaos kids.

Chan: Jup, now you know what I need to endure all this time. They never give me a pause with their shit.

Seungmin: Aww, do you need a pause, old man? Should I get your walkers?

Chan: Fuck off.

Chan: I hope your son gets at least his mother's character traits. Otherwise we won't survive.

You giggled as you read their texts. It was cute that they added you to their group chat. They sent some more texts but you couldn't read them because Sanha's profile plopped up as she called you.

"Why did Felix and Changbin give me my money? Have Jeongin and I really won the bet? I can't believe it!" she rambled vividly and you could practically see her in front of you, throwing her hands in the air. "I mean, I don't mind the money but why the hell didn't you tell me at first?!" she exclaimed, huffing in annoyance.

You giggled, shaking your head at her antics. "Sorry, Sannie. I just - after the date yesterday with Wonho - which was perfect if I'm being honest - Seungmin waited in front of my apartment. We spoke and he apologised." you recounted, pulling the blanket thighter over your own body. After Seungmin went to practise, you opted to cuddle up on your couch with a fluffy blanket and your series.

"Uhh, interesting. And then?" she wanted to know giddily. "Then, he told me how he really felt for me and gave me a bouquet." you noticed how your cheeks turned red and were extremely grateful that your best friend couldn't see it. Otherwise, she would never let you live that down.

"A bouquet? Shut up! I need a photo. Now!" she yelled excitedly, the sound of her hands clapping could be heard in the background. You laughed, rolling from your comfortable spot to snap a quick photo. "Oh my god! It's so cute! When he isn't an asshole, he is actually a gentleman" she noted approvingly.

"What happened to my best friend who tried to unalive him?" you questioned in mockery. "She's still there but right now, she is just happy that her best friend is happy. You know? I can easily kill him the next time he does something stupid" she shrugged. You hummed, mindlessly caressing your bump.

"Did you have sex afterwards?" Sanha asked boldy. You weren't even surprised for her to ask you. Actually, you had guessed that this would be the first question from her. "Yes, we spent the night together" you affirmed, blushing at the memory of your bath last night.

"Uhhhhhh" she teased, drawing the sound out. "Was it good? Did you have fun?"

"Yes, it was even better than the first time" you agreed. "And what does that make you? Are you in a relationship now?" she asked hesitantly, careful not to press more salt into a possible wound. But luckily, there was no wound. Just a healing heart that would take some time to trust him fully and be confident in the relationship. But it was a beginning. Hopefully, a beginning to something big.

"We're together now. He asked me this morning after I confronted him. I was so anxious that I had misunderstood him yesterday. But he could reassure me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend." you told her truthfully.

"Aww! Congratulations Y/nnie! It was about to be time!" she squealed in joy, telling you something about her work and how she hated it that her lunch break was nearly over. For a few minutes, she told you the newest gossip at work and hung up.

Now that the semester was over, you could really prepare for the birth of your little one and start planning the nursery. You still didn't know where the hell you should fit his room. Well, as a stillborn, he would be at your side at night anyways. But after this phase, you really needed to think about where to put his crib. Maybe in the living room? This was the only room that could fit a crib. Not even your bedroom was big enough.

You feared that you didn't have any other option than moving into a bigger apartment. You hated this. You hated that you would eventually needed to leave your home you had worked so hard for. And every apartment you had looked up was well over your price range.

You sighed, that was a problem for later, you thought. You still had eight weeks to go. That was enough time, right?

You spent the next few hours with watching your series, napping and looking for all kinds of stuff you needed when the little bean was born. In between, you ravaged all the food in your kitchen, searching for your next craving.

Over text, Seungmin had informed you that he would be at your place around eight pm with your favourite ice tea and food. At the mention of food, your mouth watered. Point eight, he knocked gently on your door and greeted you with a peck on your lips. You were still surprised how natural it felt. Like you had been together for longer, not just for a few hours. But the way he acted around you, didn't change at all. He was still very observant with his usual snarky comments you loved so dearly.

But now, he was far more affectionate and showed his love openly. And you were a sucker for that. You leaned against the kitchen counter, pressing a hand on your belly to soothe the minimal pain you felt. It was normal, your docter had claimed. This were practise contractions to prepare you for birth. But that only made you more scared for the actual birth and contractions. You had a low pain tolerance but you hoped that once the little bean was there, all the pain would be forgotten.

"Where did you get the food?" you asked curiously, huffing in annoyance as the next painful wave hit your body and your stomach clenched uncontrollably together. "I forced Minho to cook your favourite since I didn't want to actually burn your kitchen down this time" he grinned triumphantly and you peeked over his shoulder.

"Uhh pasta. My cryptonite" you giggled happily, groaning when another wave rolled over you. "I know. Redemption through pasta, right?" he stated smugly, his eyes growing concerned when he saw you twitching in pain. For a few seconds, he abandoned his place at the cooker to reheat the pasta and brushed soothingly over your back. "Are you sure you're alright?"

You hummed in exhaustion. "Yup, I guess my body just wants to be well prepared" you joked around, breathing deeply as the pain decreased. "By the way, have you thought about baby names?" you changed the topic, swaying the brownish ice tea in your glass. It was a cocktail glass. But who was going to judge you? You wanted to drink with elegance even though there was not a hint of alcohol.

Seungmin turned to the pasta again, then placing the pot on your kitchen table as he shut the cooker off. "Well, I needed to confront myself with baby names when beanie's uncles are already suggesting the most terrible names for months!" the black haired chuckled, recalling the funniest ones.

"I wasn't even surprised when Minho brought up 'Gremlin Jr.' as the first name. But now, it turned into a whole competition who could find the craziest name. We've got Cryzilla from Hyunjin, Lord Droolia from Jisung and Caption Cutie McBurp from Changbin. I can't tell which one is the best"

You snorted at the suggestions. They were hilarious and you didn't know how they came up with these names. "Well, at least we know how we aren't naming our child" you commented, munching on the first spoon of pasta and moaning in delight at the sinful taste.

"Damn, Minho should cook more often for me" you murmured, head thrown back. "I can ask him what he thinks about being our personal servant" Seungmin winked, smirk displayed on his mouth. "I think he will hit you with a frying pan as soon as you speak it out" you commented. "Ah, I bet he will be overjoyed." the black haired joked.

"Okay, but seriously, do you have any names you like? Because I have some" you changed the topic back to the more serious one. "Hm, difficult question. The most names I looked up didn't really convince me but I kinda like Byeonwoo" he explained, the tablewear clanked against eachother.

You hummed, nodding at the name. "I don't really like the syllable 'Byeon' but I love the ending 'woo' since it means universe." you commented. "I thought to maybe play with the meaningof the name. Because we call our baby beanie as a nickname, I figured that it may be cute to combine it with his real name. So, maybe Saengjun or Jongwoo?"

Seungmin nodded. "I love Jongwoo! It's so cute" his hand reached for yours, brushing over your thumb tenderly. "So, Jongwoo it is? It means origin of greatness and I think that's the perfect meaning" you told him and smiled widely. Your little bean was really the origin of greatness. That night, that one night stand, changed your life forever. It changed it into a better version. Now, you had everyting you had hoped for as a child. A boyfriend and an unborn child on the way.

Well, maybe you hadn't seen it coming that you would check the point pregnancy off first and then boyfriend but that's unimportant. Without beanie, you wouldn't have met Seungmin again. Without him, the black haired wouldn't sit across from you, here in your apartment, holding your hand like you meant the entire universe for him.

❤☯❤

"Oh my god, Y/n! You are so big!" Jisung squealed high pitched a few weeks later, opening his arms to give you a tight hug. You chuckled. "Thank you for the reminder" Chan rolled his eyes in annoyance, giving his younger member a slap on the back of the head while exclaiming "Yah, you don't say that to a pregnant woman you idiot!"

Jisung pouted, rubbing his head as he let go of you, going to sulk while cuddling Minho who smirked at Seungmin. "I didn't know you like bags so much. if I had known, I would have bought you one for your birthday last year." Seungmin flipped him off, still holding your bag he insistent on carrying because he claimed that your back is strained enough from the baby. Yet, you must say that Minho had a good point and the bag actually kinda suited him (but you weren't telling him that).

"It's been so long!" Felix shouted, jumping up in down while wearing a smile that could compete with the sun. You nooded in agreement. "Yes, I know. I'm so sorry. But all those doctor's appointments and searching for the right hospital I want to give birth in, kept me very busy"

"Plus, your boyfriend kept you to himself like a caveman. I'm surprised he let you out of your cave to come here" Hyunjin added, brushing teasingly through Seungmin's black hair, only annoying him further. "Now I know why I just spent time alone with her" your boyfriend murmured, pushing out a chair for you to sit at. Jeongin came hugging you from the side, poking your belly affectionately and greeting him as if he would hear it through your belly.

"How long until this beanie enters the world?" Chan asked, filling your plate with steak and smashed potatoes. "About five weeks" you answered, wanting to take the plate but Seungmin grabbed it instead. "You're a glutton!" Changbin scolded him immeadiately but your boyfriend just laughed, shaking his head.

"You're idiots sometimes. Pregnant women aren't allowed to eat meat that isn't overcooked." he sounded like he was reciting out of a maternity book, shocking you all. You shrugged, taking the plae back once Seungmin had pushed the flesh on his plate, leaving only potatoes and souce on it. "Well, at least someone is paying attention" you giggled, feeling warmth climb your chest at the mere thought that Seungmin had researched and remembered those things.

"What would you just do without me?" he answered with a wink. "Eating steak and drinking an cocktail?" Minho answered on your behalf. "Not being in a relationship with a pabo?" Felix added, seemingly enjoying to irritate his fellow member. "Sleeping calm through the night without back and neck pain or the constant feeling to pee?" you decided to throw into the enumeration, standing up to do your third walk to the bathroom in the fifteen minutes you were at their dorms as if you needed to prove the point.

"Okay, okay I get it!" you heard the black haired exclaim in the kitchen, clearly pouting like a sore loser. "Well at least my life is now so funny with your little chaos group." You yelled with a laugh, earning the outraged gasped from them and the bickering continued.

As you slipped back into your seat, listening as they conversed about their next comeback. "I can't wait to see Stays reaction!" Jisung babbled, swinging his fork from left to right.

"Fortunately, we still have four months until release. The management was not amused to postpone the date" Chan chuckled, remembering the struggle. Three months ago he had helped Seungmin with informing the company about the pregnancy and that Seungmin would need some time off to take care of you and the little bean.

"Jup, I feared that JYP would murder you for it. Seriously, the way his screams could be heard through the whole company was absolutely terrifying." Jeongin recounted.

"Well, I didn't leave room for arguments." Seungmin replied smugly, recalling the red agitated face his boss had made. Just for this expression, it was absolutely worth it.

"The baby can finally come" you exclaimed, rubbing over your swollen belly. "I just need to find a bigger place to move in."

Changbin patted you shoulder. "We'll find something. Even when we need to throw Seungmin out of the forms so that you can have his room for you and the baby"

"And where should I sleep?" Seungmin questioned, eyebrows raised. "You have your own apartment?" Hyunjin commented, rollings his eyes.

"Wow, thank you Hyunjin, really" Seungmin snorted teasingly.

As the dinner slowly winded down, Seungmin brought you back to your apartment. Sadly, he couldn't stay at your place since he and the boys were going to fly to the USA for a few days for several interviews and some fashion shows. This was the last time they will be away before your birth. But nonetheless, you didn't want to part from them, not even for a few days.

"Thank you for the great evening. I'm glad I could spend some time with you all before your trip" you murmured, watching the city lights flow by.

"Don't say you are going to miss me?" Seungmin gasped dramatically, a smirk forming on his lips while his eyes stayed trained on the street in front of him.

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your growing amusement. "Of course I'm going to miss you. You practically lived with me at my apartment at some point. And now it's going to be so quiet"

"Speaking of apartment, I could help you, you know? With finding the perfect place for you and Jongwoo" his voice turned more serious as he reached over with one hand to caress yours. You sighed, playing with a hair strand. "I know, I know. But I don't want that. Everyone will think that I got myself knocked up just to profit from your wealth."

"But I know that's not true - we all know that's not true" he soothed, slowly parking in front of your apartment building, shutting down the engine and turning fully towards you.

"Yes, but I don't want to rely just on you. I don't want to be called a money digger." You reasoned, eyes growing concerned as you thought how every person you would meet would immediately associate you with Seungmin. They all would only see the money he spends on you, not the love you shared. They will say that you are only with him for your benefit, like he was your sugar daddy.

He cupped your face gently, smiling lightly. "I know you love your independence but at least let me spoil you sometimes, okay? And besides, I have already thought a bit about another option. At dinner, when Hyunjin mentioned my own apartment, I got the idea that I have enough space there. I could clear my little office for the little bean. I wasn't much in there anyway. What do you think? Do you wanna move in with me?" His expressions were curious and gentle, not demanding you to immediately answer and let you think about it at first.

"Really? Is that okay for you? We would spend every second together in the apartment and we aren't together for that long" you voiced your concerns. Seungmin hummed, acknowledging your thoughts.

"Personally, I couldn't contain my joy but I know that it will be a massive change in our lifes. And I'm not saying that it's gonna be easy. I mean - besides the boys I never lived together in one place with anyone. But I would love to spend that extra time with you. I could be there for you and the baby. But I'm not going to force you to live with me. That's your choice, completely. I just want to give you this option"

"Thank you, Minnie. I appreciate the offer. And if I'm being honest, I love the idea. I mean - you are practically already living here. Under one circumstance I will move in with you." you held your index finger up. "I want to pay some rent. I would like the rent split in half, equally since he both would be living there."

"You obviously don't have to but if that's what you want, I'm completely fine with that. That way I have more money to spoil you" Seungmin winked, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips.

"Kim Seungmin don't you dare!" You scolded him, scrunching your nose together. Your boyfriend just laughed and booped your nose. "Just kidding. But I want to add one condition - when I'm back from America, I want to take you out on a date. A real one. We didn't have the time to celebrate our relationship with a fancy dinner, so that's my only condition" he submitted confidently.

"Well, if I want to live with you, I guess I don't have any other option" you shrugged playfully nonchalant, trying desperately to keep the smirk from forming on your lips.

"To finalise our negotiations, we need to seal it with a kiss" the black haired proposed as if it was some important business contract. "Sure, nothing easier than that" you winked, leaning over to the driver's seat to minimize the distance between you. Just to play a little bit with his sanity, you chose to lick over your lips, smirking at the way his gaze flickered down from your eyes to your lips. They stayed there, following every move with growing need and desire.

"What? Aren't you going to seal our contract?" you teased, earning an eyeroll and his hand gently grabbed your neck and pulled you close for the kiss while your hands rested on his upper legs to steady yourself. It started out tender at first, filled with a gentleness that left goosebumps all over your skin but soon, you felt his tongue brush over your velvety bottom lip and you moaned, lettng him inside. His mouth was pressed hard against your own, your tongues circled eachother like two enemies ready for a fight. And they fought - they fought a fiery battle of love and dominance.

Seungmin groaned, his one hand slipping into your hair, making a huge mess and the other rested on your waist, gripping you like you would dissapear if he didn't. You broke the kiss to breathe again and observed his swollen, red lips with satisfaction. You bet that yours didn't look any better. Your hands were still supporting your body while laying on Seungmin's legs and when you looked down, you couldn't help the smirk.

"Ups, gotcha all riled up, didn't I?", you giggled devilishly, brushing your hand in a slow motion over his buldge that was visible through his blue jeans. Biting your lip again, you loved the way he twitched under you touch. Seungmin groaned, laying his head slightly to the side and in his eyes blazed a fire of desire. "Careful with what you play, my love"

"Why? Because you would stay here with me instead of going to America?" you giggled, pressing a kiss to his nose as you let your fingers glide over his hardening member again. "Don't tempt me, my love" his voice had dropped, sounding raspy and full of longing for more.

"What if I want to?" you teased him and played with the zipper of his jeans, slowly pulling it down while never breaking eye contact. The buldge in his boxers was now larger once it was freed from the tight jeans material. Seungmin's breath hitched once you slipped a hand inside, pushing the last bit of fabric down until his pulsing cock stood tall in all his glory.

Through half closed eyes, he watched you intently as you wrapped your hand around his length and he bit his bottom lip to express a moan just at the sight. Slowly, you began to pump your hand, your grip squeezing him ever so slightly. Trying to draw out a moan with massaging his tender, reddened tip. He was already leaking precum and the black haired threw his head back against the seat while you spread the white liquid over his cock.

You loved the sounds he made and you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter with every second. Confidently, you leaned down and wrapped your lips around Seungmin's swollen tip, tracing sinfully slow over it and collcting precum on your tongue. Then, you pushed your head down, feeling him writhe in your hold. He squirmed in pleasure, cursing something under his breath.

A loud moan left his lips and his hands flew to your head, brushing harsh through your hair and gripping a few strands. but immeadiately unclenching them in concern to hurt you. You hummed, the vibration around his member making twitch and seeing stars.

"Oh god, Y/n... you're incredible, oh, fuck..." he groaned, opening his eyes to watch you move up and down on his cock. Your hand pumped what you couldn't fit in your mouth as you continued to swallow him whole, slowly letting your eyes wander upwards until your gazes met. Seungmin swore, he would never forget this image of you, his cock in your mouth and blinking through your lashes like a beautiful goddess. Yes, this picture was now burned into his mind and he would treasure it for his entire life.

In satisfction, you watched his face relax and contort with each movement, with each stroke of your tongue against the sensitive tip. You followed the sounds of his enjoyment, feeling praised whenever a loud moan echoed through the car or his hands tried so desperately not to pull on your hair.

Hair strands slipped from behind your ear in front of your face and Seungmin pushed them immeadiately away, moving them back where they came from so that nothing could block the exceptional view he had. Slowly, his moans grew higher, the other arm thrown over his face in pure bliss. He knew he wouldn't last long as the hot knot grew in his stomach, urging him to push his hips upwards to meet your movements. His pretty sounds encouraged you to continue.

"fuck... Y/n, my love. I'm-oh my- I'm gonna come" he warned in between groans and moans but you didn't let that stop you. instead, you sucked him in so deeply that his tip hit the back of your throat and moved quicker.

Light tears were running down your cheeks and Seungmin groaned loudly as his high crashed over him, wave after wave. His hand held you unintentionally down as his warm cum filled your mouth. Slowly, after the final drops of cum spilled out, his hand loosened and his head threw back again against the seat. Lifting, your head, you took a deep breath and wiped your chin of the little drips that escaped before swallowing the cum. Seungmin observed you quietly, chest rising and falling fast and his face was flushed red in heat. Gently, he cupped your cheeks, brushing the drying tears away and mumbled a thank you against your lips.

"I love you" he added softly, tucking himself back in and helping you out of the car to your apartment. "Thanks for bringing me up" you replied moments later as you stood in the opened front door, saying goodbye to the black haired since he needed to go back to the dorms because their flight would be leaving very early in the morning.

"Of course. What a boyfriend would I be if I just dropped my girlfriend off without making sure she got inside safely?" he rolled his eyes, connecting his hand with yours and pressing a tender peck on your lips.

"I'm gonna text you as soon as I get from the plane. And promise me to call me if anything happens to you or the baby. Then, I'll be in the next flight back to you" he exclaimed and you nodded. "Calm down, Minnie. Jongwoo and I will be perfectly fine. We still have five weeks and I think he isn't going to come sooner. Please, don't be so concerned, okay?"

He nodded, sighing. "Too late. I'm not even in America yet and all I'm thinking about is you and beanie" You pressed your lips against his for a second, leaning your forehead against his. "Have a good trip and come quickly back to me"

❤☯❤

Saying that your life without college or a job was boring was an understatement. With almost nine months pregnant, you couldn't work anymore, especially in a cefé. The most time was spent with Sanha when the boys were away. Even though you loved the time with your best friend, your heart ached to hold your boyfriend close.

The calls on a daily basis and the texts had been far from enough to stop you from missing him. Therefore, you were even more excited now that the five days were over and you were finally going to see him again.

Through the (very chaotic) group text, you knew that they all had boarded the plane a few hours ago and if your right, they must be landing soon. Sadly, you couldn't wait for them at the airport because of the attention they would attract from the media and their fans. You knew that, especially if your relationship with Seungmin grew more serious, there wasn't any chance to keep your relationship a secret forever. But now you didn't have the nerve to make it public. That was definitely too stressful before the birth and leaking this big information could seriously harm Seungmin's career as an idol.

No, right now, you could happily enjoy your life without a camera in your face all the time. Privacy had always been something you loved. And you loved to go out without people noticing you, discussing everything that you were doing or wearing. No, you didn't need that for now.

Seungmin: We just landed safely and I even napped for a few hours.

Y/n: that's great. Can't wait to see you. I missed you so much.

Seungmin: I missed you too.

Seungmin: Be ready at seven. I want to take you out to dinner.

You stared at the screen of your phone, smiling widening every time you reread his message. It was surprising that he wanted to go out after such a long plane ride. He must be so exhausted and still, he wanted to take you out. Of course, you had thought that he might come visit you after being away for five days but you rather thought about a calm evening on the couch, watching the movie you two had talked about during one of your calls.

But an actual date, your first real date, made you even more excited. Shit, what should I wear? You thought, the usual panic setting in to find something appropriate to wear. If you didn't have this giant bowling ball in your belly, you would have at least your whole clothes available.

Now, you could barely fit into a hoodie, let alone a t-shirt of yourself. You had made Seungmin race to your apartment at an ungodly hour a week ago to bring you some of his own clothes because with all the hormones invading your body, you had a mental breakdown about your unlucky clothes situation. Now, you mostly wore Seungmin's clothes, even leggings, because the big bean (yes, big bean because he sure as hell wasn't a little bean anymore) made sure his mommy had nothing else to wear. Little betrayer.

Clueless, you ravaged through your wardrobe, suddenly feeling like the you a few months ago when Seungmin had accompanied you to the doctor for the first time. Then, you remembered the dress Seungmin had gifted you after his trip to Paris. The dress. The red one. After a quick search, you held the beautiful dress in your hands, the material was soft and definitely not cheap, maybe even worth your whole existence.

The red, stretchy fabric hugged your body tight. It wasn't too tight, not pressing the air out of your lungs, rather a comfortable tight that felt like soft blanket around you. Even little beanie seemed to like it as he pressed his foot against your belly, suddenly becoming more active.

You chuckled, rubbing circled over your stretched skin. "I know beanie, I love it too. Your dada bought me this dress" you positioned yourself in front of the mirror, judging critically how this material hugged your body and you must say that it had been weeks where you had felt so pretty and comfortable in clothes at the same time. I guess I'll only walk around wearing this dress until birth, you joked in your head.

You brushed your hair into a loose bun, letting some stray hair strands fall out while some dangly golden earrings decorated your ears and a cute necklace your neck, drawing the attention to your exposed collarbones and neckline.

Then, you busied yourself with your makeup, choosing a more obvious but still beautiful style that would make your eyes pop out. Seungmin had said that he was going to take you out to dinner, probably into a fancy restaurant where they didn't put any prices on the menu cards.

The time flew by as you got ready, painting your nails with a pretty red polish that was nearly identical to the colour of your dress. With each minute you got more excited to finally see him again. It felt like an eternity since he had you in his arms. And you nearly sprinted (the fastest you could with your bowling ball of a child) through your shirt hallway, almost tripping over your shoes you had laid out for tonight.

Heaving, you opened the door with a wide smile, laying your head to the side. You knitted your eyebrows as the only thing you saw was an ocean of red flowers, roses to be precise. So many, that they blocked your sight on who was holding the large bouquet. But you didn't need to guess. It was Seungmin for sure.

His black hair popped up behind the mass of flowers, his face lit with a smirk. "Missed me, my love?" He asked cockily, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You rolled your eyes in response, gently grabbing the bouquet and placing it on the sideboard in the apartment to finally greet your boyfriend properly.

Quickly, you fell into his arms, hugging him tight with the intention of never letting go. His lips pressed a tender peck on your hairline, breathing in your scent and then capturing your lips with his own.

As the kiss ended, you watched how his gaze moved up and down your body, taking the sight of you in a pretty dress in. His mouth opened and a rosy blush coloured his cheeks in a pretty pink.

A smirk quickly hid his stunned expression. "Wow, I knew this dress would compliment you but it's better than in my imagination." He took your hand, nudging you to spin around yourself. You giggled, showing him every angle. He winked, whistling through his teeth.

"You look gorgeous. I knew it was a good idea to get red roses" he nodded approvingly, slipping his arm around your waist.

"You chose the flowers based on my outfit?" You snorted amused, shaking your head in disbelief. Seungmin scratched his neck, chuckling. "I hoped you would wear the dress I gifted you"

"Well, you weren't wrong. And it's so pretty. Do I wanna know how much it had cost?" You knitted your eyebrows.

"Nope, you don't want to know but I can reassure you that I would buy you thousands of dresses just to see you in them." He proposed, fingers caressing your side. "Which brings me to my next point - we should just stay home"

"What why?" You questioned with a pout. You didn't make yourself presentable just to stay here after all.

"Because you look too good. Other men will look at you and I definitely not want that when you are wearing something so sinful" his gaze darkened only at the thought of other men touching you, even staring at you was forbidden.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, patting his chest soothingly. "Okay, come down Mr. Dominant. We aren't cave people anymore. I didn't spend so much time getting ready just to sit on the couch. Plus, something so sinful? Are you serious? I'm just wearing a dress" you chuckled, pointing down at you.

"A very pretty one, to be exact" he answered smugly, holding your hand again. "But I think I have no other option than taking you out for dinner. I'll just keep you very close to me and unalive everyone who stares at you with my eyes" he exclaimed confidently, guiding you out of your apartment but you stopped him, pointing to your sneakers in the hallway.

"But first, I need you to help me into my shoes" you proposed, plopping down on the chair next to the front door. It usually was one of your kitchen chair but now, until the birth of beanie, that was his new job.

"Putting your shoes on? I would rather undress instead of dressing you" Seungmin joked, nonetheless getting your sneakers and slipping them on your feet. You rolled your eyes at his mockery. "Well, with that giant bean in my belly I can't even see my feet" you exclaimed, trying to look over your protruding belly with no success.

"Luckily you have me" he smirked, jumping up from the ground to help you up. You picked his lips as a thank you and let yourself be guided out the apartment building.

"Where are we going?" You asked him for the twentieth time by now, earning yourself another annoyed glare. But you couldn't help it. You just felt so excited that you couldn't do anything except letting it all out. So, you have been babbling the whole twenty minute drive about the five days you didn't see him, telling him what weird new cravings you had and how Sanha had broken another glass again through her clumsiness.

Seungmin just listened and drove, replying every now and then to show you that he actually listened and enjoyed the time with you. As he stopped the car, he took your hand again, bringing you to a small looking house that was rather dark and looked not fancy at all.

"Are you sure it's open?" You questioned curiously, judging the closed door and the low light that just fell through the windows.

"Jup, Trust me. It's open" he nodded, pushing the door open and the door bell ran, announcing you as new customers. An older woman dressed in a black shirt and trousers came to you, greeting you with a friendly bow and motioned you to follow her. You grew even more curious when you noticed the lack of tables and other guests.

But you two followed her, Seungmin's hand calm in yours. As the older woman pushed another door open, your face was lit up with hundreds of fairy lights. You weren't in the house anymore, instead she had guided you out into a small inner garden that was closed off by houses in every direction. The garden was decorated with various kinds of plants. Trees, bushes shaped in different motives and flower beds. From tree to tree hung fairy lights, creating a romantic and soft atmosphere.

You noticed that all the other tables were full with customers, only one free to which the lady guided you. You sat amongst flowers, smelling their sweet scent in the air.

"Oh my god. How did you find this?" You asked Seungmin excitedly, your gaze still roaming through the whole garden. "Changbin was once here with Wooyoung, a friend from another group and they let me accompany them. It's one of my favourite places to be and despite the strange look on the outside, it's really popular. Here, you can't get a table without a reservation" he told you, watching your smiling face.

"Yes, I can believe that everyone would love to have dinner here. It's truly magic" Seungmin nodded, opening the menu to scan for something to drink. "What are you going to drink? Something fancy?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows even though he knew exactly that you couldn't drink any alcohol.

"Actually, I think I'm going to be a little bit risky tonight and order the ice tea" you giggled, making Seungmin return your gesture. In shock, he pulled the air through his teeth. "Are you sure? I mean - be careful to not get a headache afterwards"

"I'll be careful of course" you agreed teasingly.

❤☯❤

"Be careful! These are the boxes with the photos and kitchen utensils!" you squealed, clasping your hands in front of your mouth as you watched Changbin and Chan lift the two boxes like they weighted nothing. The muscular member snorted, rolling his eyes. "Relax, I'm not gonna let it fall."

"I know but those photos are very important to me" you murmured, wandering through your empty apartment. It was strange to see it so empty, lacking every little memory you had made.

It was as if you had never been living here. All those years were now stacked in those boxes, leaving no trace of you. While one part of you was sad about this sudden change in your life, another was happy, excited even to start this new chapter. Not just in a new apartment but with Seungmin and little Jongwoo in your belly.

Two arms wrapped around your middle section from behind and a chin leaned on your head. "Relax, the others help where they can. I think with the boxes we have brought to our apartment already, we might actually get finished today." Seungmin whispered into your ear, rubbing soothing circles over your stomach.

You were three weeks away from your due date and not only his but also your nerves were getting thin slowly. Luckily, all the members were here and helped you this whole weekend during their only free time with packing and transporting it to Seungmin's apartment. - wait, it wasn't just his apartment anymore, it was also yours. Ours, like he had said.

"That would be awesome. I'm already dreading unpacking this mass of things" you whined, cuddling into his shoulder for comfort. When there was something you hated more than packing, then it was unpacking. This always took hours, even days. And with the constant urge to pee and immense back pain, it won't be any fun now.

"Luckily, you aren't the only one unpacking. I'm helping you so that you can relax on the couch and dictate where I should put your things" he winked, pressing another peck on your hairline. "Not bad, I like that idea" you hummed, leaving Seungmin's warm embrace to do a final walk through the apartment you had called home.

Everything was so empty, your bedroom was just a room. Without a bed, without your closet and without the memories you had made there over the last few years. Your living room was so cold without the couch you had bought with your own first money and the small TV that had accompanied you to all the movie marathons you and Sanha did.

Even though this was a goodbye, you had always known you wouldn't live here your entire lifetime. It was just something to live in when you were in college. And Seungmin and you would make sure to create new memories in your shared home.

"Okay, my love. Are you ready to go?" He asked you, after you had locked the front door and gave the key back to the landlord. "Yes, ready for our new adventure" you answered, watching the city blur as Seungmin's car moved faster. The others were already at your apartment with the van they had burrowed from the company.

Entering his apartment for the first time after your one night stand, immediately sent you back to that night. The night everything changed. You could practically see your past self in front of your inner eyes, how you had pressed yourself against Seungmin. How easily you had given into the pleasure and desire on a exhausting day.

But now, you weren't a stranger anymore. No, you definitely weren't strangers anymore who got together for a hookup. Now, more than your love connected you two. A baby. That was created from passion and pleasure, maybe not love in the first place but it was definitely the beginning of your love, of the family you had found.

Fortunately, you had labelled every single box precisely so that you all could split up in groups. While Jisung and Felix helped you with your clothes, Minho, Chan and Jeongin did the stuff for the kitchen and the rest took onto the everything else. It warmed your heart to have such a big family now. A family that spend their only time off from their very exhausting job, lifting heavy boxes. You were thankful and couldn't believe you had found such good friends.

Even Sanha came after her shift ended and helped with spreading your personal belongings such as photos or decorations through the whole apartment, claiming that she knew where you wanted to have certain memories. With all the effort, you were finished right at dinner time. Of course, you would rearrange some things over time but right now, it looked at least like a normal apartment and not like World War III. Minho had left with Jisung half an hour earlier to get takeout for you all since none of you were in the mood for cooking.

In fact, as soon as the last box was out of sight, you all plopped down in the living room. You, Sanha, Felix and Hyunjin on the couch while Chan and Jeongin got themselves chair from the kitchen. Seungmin leaned with his back against the couch, resting his back on your legs while sitting on the floor and after a few minutes, your hands wandered into his hair, playing with his stray strands.

Changbin had done the same as your boyfriend, giggling with Sanha about a random joke he made. Exhausted, you leaned your head back, looking up at the ceiling as another cramp hit you. It wasn't something unusual anymore for you. Nearly every day, you had those practise contractions.

"Everything alright?" Seungmin whispered, brushing his fingers up and down your leg in concern. You nodded, taking a deep breath as another wave hit you. "Yeah, just some contractions" you let him know with a crooked smile.

"You didn't do too much, did you? I read that exhaustion can cause early labour" his warm eyes observed every of your movement. "Don't worry. I was very careful" you replied, booping his nose as he looked up at you. "Okay" he hummed, closing his eyes and enjoying your fingers scratching his scalp.

"Dinner's here!" Jisung's voice rang through the apartment, the smell of hot, delicious food invading your home. Changbin was the first to reach his two band members with Hyunjin and Sanha hot on his heels. You weren't even surprised that your best friend was one of the gluttonous persons of your family.

"I'm gonna get some plates and forks" you mused more to yourself than to anybody, slipping quietly from the couch and into the kitchen. From there, you heard Jisung's enraged shoutings, assuming that one of the others wanted to take the bag full with food from him.

You reached down into the drawer with the plates, stopping as a sharp pain shot through your back and belly. Whining, you clutched your bump, inhaling over the searing pain like the nurse had taught you. Damn, those practise contractions are only getting more worse, you thought with a pout. You straightened as the wave minimized, bringing the plates into the living room like nothing happened.

Even though the contractions came from one moment to another and sharp, they luckily passed just as quickly. But you thought nothing of it. Why should you? You have had plenty of contractions during your pregnancy. This was just another preparation for your body, right?

But a sharp, sudden tightening in your lower belly woke you up from your sleep in the middle of the night. With jumping through the apartment all day, arranging everything, you and Seungmin had been really tired, getting ready for bed as soon as the members left to get back to their dorms to give you time to settle in alone. This tightening wasn't just a cramp, not a normal one. It was heavier, deeper, the kind of sensation that made you freeze and hold your breath.

For a second you laid completely still in the dark, unsure if you had imagined it and it was just another regular cramp. Maybe something had truly shifted. Your bedroom was consumed in silence except for Seungmin's slow, even breathing right beside you. You turned your head towards him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, his mouth slightly open and his messy hair hanging into his face. He looked cute, beautiful even.

You turned your head to the other side, looking at your nightstand where your alarm clock blinked brightly back at you. 1:43 am. It was still in the middle of the night.

Another wave came - this time stronger and your stomach tensed involuntarily. Sucking in a breath, you blinked up at the ceiling, feeling your heart began to race. What the fuck is happening? Is it happening? Does labour feel like that?

Your mind was drowned in chaos, thoughts turning into a tornado that left you panicking about what to do.

You hadn't reached your due date yet. It was too early. Way too early. This can't be happening. Not now. You didn't even live in this apartment for a day. Your nursery wasn't ready. You should still have three fucking weeks.

You slipped a hand under your belly, gently pressing the curve of it. Underneath your stretched skin, your little bean moved until the pressure of the contraction slowly faded.

Carefully, you sat up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. Your joints ached, your feet were swollen. Nothing you hadn't accepted over the last few weeks. But your whole body felt on edge, adrenaline pumping through your veins and the only thing you could feel was a mix of fatigue and nerves.

This was your first pregnancy and you had known from the beginning what was awaiting you. Labour wasn't something you hadn't read about or talked in classes for becoming mothers. And still - with those nine months of preparation - you didn't feel ready. Not really. But now, in the safe darkness of your bedroom, with shadows dancing against the walls, everything you thought you knew felt far away.

"Seungmin" you whispered, voice wavering with anxiety. "Seungmin, wake up" you added a little bit louder now. He stirred, eyes slowly blinking open with a groan. "What's wrong?"

You leaned forward as another wave hit you, pressing your hands against your stomach to somehow soothe the dull pain. A moan filled with pain escaped you, making Seungmin sit up immeadiately as his brain still processed what's going on.

"I think ... I think it's starting" you whined in between shallow breaths. The black haired's eyes widened, crawling over to your side of the bed to rub circles over your bump.

"Do you- I mean- Are you in labour?" he asked, his eyes scrunched together in concern. You nodded, relaxing as the pain ceased slowly, giving you finally the opportunity to breathe again. "I've had a few contractions. They are kind of far apart, but ... they feel different" you explained.

"Fuck. Okay, okay. Should we go now? Do we need to go now?" the last hints of tiredness were washed away from his face now, suddenly wide awake. You shrugged your shoulders, leaning against his chest. "I don't know" you murmured unsure, your voice thinner than you wanted it to be.

Uncertainty passed between you for a moment, before Seungmin swung his legs out of bed and stood up too quickly, stumbling slightly before rubbing his face. "Okay. Everything's going to be fine. Right. Okay. The baby is coming. It's happening. It's real. Oh my god. Okay. I need the hospital bag. I need to check if we have everything. Where is it? I swear to god if Jisung put it somewhere where we are never going to find it, I'll murder him. Actually, I think I'm gonna call him. Who was so stupid to give Jisung the hospital bag?! I should've known he would put it not on full display. I should have done it myself. Fuck. I'll-" you had watched the boyfriend freak out for a few moments, eyes wide in shock to see him in such a state. The last time he was so shaken, you had told him that he was going to be a dad. And now, his panic was clouding his mind while he ran through the bedroom, searching desperately for the bag as if it would be the most important thing in the world right now.

"Seungmin" you exclaimed loudly, trying to break him out of his trail of thoughts. But he didn't hear it, too focused on rummaging through your closet while mumbling something about murdering Jisung for putting the bag away. You rolled your eyes in annoyance. Fine. If he wanted it that way. Never anger a woman in labour, you thought, aiming a pillow at his head and throwing it with full force before another contraction consumed you.

The pillow perfectly hit the back of his head, making him turn around while you said his name again. "Calm down, Minnie. I'm okay. The baby's okay. So, calm the fuck down" you winced as you said that, leaning forward to put pressure on your belly. "Okay, maybe I'm not okay right now" you corrected in between.

Seungmin rushed to your side immeadiately, babbling sorrys and brushing your hair out of your face. "Sorry. I just panicked. What do you want to do? How far apart are the contractions?"

For the next two waves, he stopped the time, telling you that you were still in early labour if the information you had read in the pregnancy book was right. So, it was still too early for going to the hospital.

"Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?" he asked softly, cupping your cheek as you leaned against him exhausted. This was going to be a long night. "Shower. My doctor said that water could help to soothe a bit of pain" you mumbled, letting Seungmin pull you up carefully and walked you slowly to the bathroom. The floor underneath your feet was cool, grounding you slightly.

You blinked as Seungmin turned on the light and the reflection in the mirror looked crazy. Your face was pale and puffy, your hair tangled from tossing in your sleep. You didn't look like someone about to bring a life into the world. You looked like someone who had no idea what was coming.

Then another contraction hit. Stronger. Sharper. You leaned forward and braced yourself against the sink with both hands, eyes squeezed shut. Your breathing turned shallow, shaky. When the wave passed, you pressed a hand to your mouth. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes—not from pain, but from something deeper. From the overwhelming realization that there was no going back now.

This one was stronger than the last. You tensed and groaned softly, Seungmin's hands never leaving your back.

“Breathe,” he whispered. “You’re doing so good. Just breathe.” You tried. You really tried. But your heart was racing and your mind was crowded with questions. What if something goes wrong? When the pain eased, you sank back and looked at him, feeling a sudden sharp pain and water running down your legs, your (actually Seungmin's) shorts soaking up some of the liquid.

"Your water just broke" the black haired stated calmly, helping you out of the wet clothes and turned on the shower until the water was warm. The air turned warm and foggy as the water began to run. Slowly, he helped you into the shower, stepping inside behind you since he was afraif you would slip and fall whenever the next wave would hit.

You stepped under the stream, let it hit your skin and placed your hands on your belly. You were scared. Really scared.

Not just of the pain or the unknown, but of how everything was about to change. In a few hours—or maybe a day—you would no longer just be yourself. You would be someone's mother. And you didn’t feel ready. You didn’t feel brave.

Another contraction gripped you while you stood there, and this one made you cry out. In concers, Seungmin's hands found your waist, steadying you and calling out your name softly. "I'm okay" you exclaimed through gritted teeth even though you weren't sure if you were.

You pressed your forehead against the tile, breathing hard. Your hands curled into fists. You had never felt so vulnerable. So breakable. But beneath the fear, deep down, there was something else. Something solid. You didn’t know what it was yet—maybe instinct, maybe determination—but it was there. Quiet, steady, waiting.

The shower helped for a while as the warm water dulled the sharpest edges of the pain and gave you something else to focus on.But as the contractions grew closer - five minutes apart and then four - they took over. It became harder to speak, each wave tiring you out more and more. It got harder to stay upright, to focus on Seungmin's fingers dancing over your skin to relieve at leat a bit of discomfort. Pretending to be alright, to be not absolutely terrified was almost impossible as each cramp felt like someone was ripping your insides out.

By 6:20 am, you both made the decision to finally drive to the hospital. Seungmin quickly grabbed your hospital bag which he had found almost immeadiately after he calmed down. Gently, he helped you into new clothes before redressing himself as well, slipping your feet into some slippers. You didn't say much in the car as you gripped the handle above the door with one hand and Seungmin's hand in the other, breathing through another wave of pressure that made your eyes water. The streetlights were turning off now, daylight filtering through the clouds in soft beams. Every bump in the road felt amplified, every red light a personal insult.

Every now and then, Seungmin glanced at you in worry, knuckles white on the steering wheel. "You're okay?" he asked after each contraction, not complaining once about the tight grip you had on his hand. "No" you pressed out in honesty. "But don't you dare stop driving" the black haired nodded, giving more gas.

The drive felt longer than it ever had been. The seconds just wouldn't pass. After what felt like an hour, you reached the hospital and at the entrance, you were sat into a wheelchair, rolling you through the endless corridors. Finally, the elevator door opened, letting you into the labour and delivery floor. It smelled clean, too clean, making you scrunch your nose. With quick strides, Seungmin pushed you into an empty room, following the nurse who then helped you change into a gown and then attached a monitor to your stomach, tight and cold.

"It's messing your contractions and the child's heart rate" she explained with a kind smile. You nodded, sinking your head back into the cushion in exhaustion. You groaned as you rid out another contraction that felt like it was carving you open. "Can you tell me how far apart the contractions are?" the nurse turned to Seungmin who sat down in the chair right next to the bed, taking your hand mindlessly in his.

"Four minutes" he answered, brushing his thumb over yours. Another nurse checked your cervix, nodding satified while noting that you're six centimetres dialated. "Your progressing nicely" she exclaimed happily, leaving the room to give Seungmin and you some privacy.

You rolled your eyes. "Progressing nicely my ass. It hurts like hell" you mocked in a high pitched voice, making the black haired snort. "Be nice, Y/n. She only wants to help."

"I know. But nicely isn't that what I would describe this" you retorted before pressing your head back. Each wave of pain felt like a tidal wace, crashing through you, flattening every thought in your mind, every bit of control.

It was a pain beyonf anything you could have prepared for. You weren't an idiot. You knew very well that labour would hurt. But this was a whole new level. It came from the core of you, absolute and shaking every fibre of your body. Seungmin rubbed soothingly over your belly and whispered encouragements into your ear.

“You’re doing so well,” he said softly as you clutched the sheats tightly through another contraction. “He's almost here. I’ve got you.”

"You are doing amazing, my love." You wanted to believe him, you really wanted but the pain was overtaking you. They came hard and close now, relentless, like your body was trying to split in two. It was so overwhelming and you pressed your face into his neck to escape the pain and wailed.

"I can't do this, Minnie" you gasped in between sobs. "I just can't. It's too much" Seungmin hummed, trying to stay calm on the outside while everything within him was walking through hell with you. Seeing you in such pain, made his heart clench in concern. He felt so helpless. He couldn't do anthing except sitting there and watch you contort. Never in his life he had felt that way and he never again wanted to feel like this.

He cooed affectionately, brushing your hair out of your face with slightly trembling fingers. "You are doing it. Every second, you are getting closer to bringing our beanie into our arms. I'm right here, my love. You don't have to do this alone"

Time passed in slow waves, the room quietened and you somehow drifted in and out of sleep. Nurses came in to check your dilation every now and then, adjusting the monitore. Slowly, you felt the pressure increase, the baby moving lower.

It was alomst 10 am when you were finally fully dilated and ready to have your baby, at least that was what you told yourself. "It's time to push, Mama" the doctor said, glancing up with a kind smile. Seungmin helped you adjust your position and pressed a kiss on your slightly sweaty forehead. "I'm here, my love. Look at me. You can do this" with his encouragement, you started to push, holding his hands for comfort.

He didn't complain when with every push, your grip tightened around his fingers, pressing the blood out of them and he was sure that they will be broken afterwards. But that was okay because you were in much more pain right now.

The pressure was immense, like trying to move a mountain with bare hands. Your whole body shook as sewat rolled down your templed, your face contorted with the effort. You groaned, cried out and sobbed. your boyfriend never let go of your hand, he counted with you, breathed with you like you had been taught.

After the first few pushes, you said it again: “I can’t do it. It hurts too much.”

“Yes, you can,” he said, leaning close, his forehead pressed to yours. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. You’re doing something incredible. Just one push at a time.”

The nurse’s voice joined his. “You’re doing beautifully. Baby’s almost here.” Then, the pain doubled, no tripled. The dull pain changing to a ring of fire - sharp, burning and undeniable. You cried out, pushed harder than you thought was possible and felt your body tear. And then-

Relief. A tiny gasp filled the room. Then a louder cry. You took a deep breath, everything falling off your chest as you glanced down, dazed, exhausted and shaking.

Your baby was here. Your son. Your little bean. Your Jongwoo. He was finally here after nine months - red, perfect and alive. He was crying loudly, letting your take a deep breathe as the concern fell off your shoulders. A crying baby was a healthy baby. Carefully, the nurse laid him on your bare chest, slick and squirming and warm.

You couldn't tear your gaze away from him. Not for a second, afraid that he could disappear. Your hands cradled his fragile body as you cooed at him between happy sobs. Seungmin pressed a hand on his mouth to stop the cry from forming, his eyes were wet and he reached for you and your little bean. Protectively, he folded his arms around you both, around his family.

"You did it" he whispered, voice cracking with the weight of emotions. "He's perfect. He's so perfect" The baby squirmed against her skin, letting out a soft little cry before settling, his heartbeat fluttering fast beneath his little ribs. He was so small, so impossibly real. The nurse cleaned you and the baby gently. All of the pain faded, none of that mattered now anymore like a dream being pulled underwater.

The three of you, a family and together.

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

author's note: Who remembers where the insider "redemption through pasta" comes from? Anyways, thank you so much for reading this series! Seriously, this might be my favourite mini series overall because I had so much fun writing it and I was actually very satisfied with my writings which never happened before. I never thought that such a small idea I had randomly will turn into a mini series <3 but I'm really sad that this is the final part.

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You added another serving into the microwave because you knew he would be hungry as usual, just as you were plating both of your dinner you heard the door beep as Chan punched in your code to enter, it was pretty normal for you both to walk into each other’s apartments without ringing the doorbell, Minho loved you surely but he was so over it though, you on the other hand lived alone in your average sized studio apartment so it was more natural that Chan was over there a lot.

  “Please tell me you have food” Chan whined as soon as he shut the door behind him.

  “Yes, you food monster” you said smiling as he plopped down on the sofa while throwing his gym bag haphazardly to the side

  “What would I do without you?” his eyes lit up like a 5-year-old as he reached for the plate in your hand with the bigger portion.

  “I fear you wouldn’t be able to function without me babe”

You threw him a playful wink, taking your seat on the space next to him which earned you a cheeky grin in return. Flirty jokes were another normal occurrence between your best friend and you, neither of you ever took the other seriously but many of your other friends were convinced you both had something going on, which was so far from the truth.

Yes, you both knew the other was hot, and you both were extremely vain about it, maybe that’s why you both clicked so well. It would be a lie to say you had never thought about Chan inappropriately, clearly you weren’t blind or delusional but your best friend was easily one of the hottest guys you had ever seen, literally sex on legs.

From the corner of your eyes, you drank in his form, his strong muscular arms on full display in his black ‘3RACHA’ wife-beater which was damp from sweat, down to his loose-fitting gray sweatpants, his favorite Calvin Klein briefs peeking out over his waist. No doubt, your best friend was a snack but you shook your head immediately to clear your unholy thoughts.

Chan picked up the remote, “You got something in particular you wanna watch?” he said as he flipped through movies on your shared Netflix.

  “Nah you can just pick anything”

He hummed in agreement. After a while of aimlessly scrolling, he sighed and dropped the remote.

  “Wanna play a game instead?”

  “A game?”

  “Yeah, let me quickly hop in the bathroom and we can play 21 questions” he said, smirking with a mischievous glint in his eye.

  “Oh, I know that look! Okay hurry up, I’ll get us drinks to start”

Chan thanked you for the meal and picked up his gym bag before disappearing into the bathroom. You gathered the dirty dishes to the sink then grabbed two shot glasses from the top shelf in the kitchen and a half empty bottle of tequila from the fridge.

A few minutes later, you had set up the drinks and some snacks on the coffee table, the TV played a random movie on mute when Chan finally emerged from the bathroom, he held his towel to his wet hair completely ignoring the droplets of water running down his bare chest, as you discreetly looked him head to toe, you realized that he didn’t bother toweling off before throwing his gray sweatpants back on, the Calvin Klein brief band he loved to show off was nowhere in sight, your Greek god of a best friend was very naked under that offending sweatpants, you swallowed and immediately averted your eyes before they lingered in places they shouldn’t.

Seeing each other in various stages of undress wasn’t exactly new to you, Chan practically lived in your house and you were comfortable enough around each other to not really care, the problem for you however started when he decided he wanted to get drop dead sexy and started hitting the gym more frequently, the changes didn’t go unnoticed by your body and you started to find yourself picturing him when you had alone time or when your mind wandered while your eyes lingered a little too long on his unbelievable back muscles-

  “Please don’t tell me you drank half of that alone” Chan said, suddenly breaking you out of your reverie.

He had come to settle beside you on the sofa, holding up the bottle as if to inspect it in the light, both of you sat facing each other, your legs were tucked Asian style under you making you sleep shorts ride up higher at the stretch, a movement which Chan caught from the corner of his eyes.

  “Shut up and give me that” you said playfully, reaching for the bottle

  “I don’t know how someone as tiny as you could handle so much liquor” he said, moving the bottle away from your reach and filling up the shot glasses.

  “You’re just jealous cause you’re a lightweight”

That earned you a glare from Chan, “Hey I can handle my liquor just fine, I simply prefer not to drink alone like a loser baby girl”

It was that annoying nickname again, Chan called you baby girl a lot which is probably why your friend never believed you guys when you insisted that your relationship was platonic.

  “Okay I’m gonna go first” he said, the mischievous glint in his eyes returning.

You sighed; this was going to be a long night.

^^^

As the night went on and the tequila set in, you and Chan had both moved the game over to the bed. You had ditched the shot glasses and snacks on the coffee table and you both were facing each other with you giggling at something Chan was telling you about. Naturally, the game of 21 questions had graduated into you

spilling secrets that you never would have on a normal day, and now you were asking each other questions about kinks, first times and worst sexual experiences.

In the past years since you had been best friends and started doing this sleepover routine with Chan, he had always stayed on his side of the bed, no matter how gone he was. But this night? He was feeling a little more intimate, He turned you over and pulled you in by your waist, tucking your back to his chest. His heat immediately spreads over you and before you can speak, Chan does, his lips directly against your ear.

  “I’ve got a question”

  “What?”

  “What’s the naughtiest kink you have but you’re too chicken to admit?” he asked, dropping his voice an octave lower.

You were quiet for so long; your mind wandered back to what your ex had said to you when you told him about this. You weren’t sure if you wanted to tell Chan that. The conversation as it is, was slowly creeping past your friendship boundaries with him and you were trying to be wary of oversharing, Chan on the other hand didn’t seem to mind, he was enjoying this a little too much. You were just about to brush off the question when Chan moved, in one swift motion tugging you under him as he shifted up on his palms. The move made him hover above you, hands on either side of your head and you were even more aware of how his scent drifted into your nostrils. You widened your eyes in shock staring up at him in this sudden new position, your brain faltered. Chan’s full gaze on you suddenly had you fighting the urge to squirm. His features were so perfectly aligned to fit in his face, and when Chan smirked down at you, you could swear he was a god. He had to be a god. It made no sense otherwise how someone could be so wickedly handsome.

  “I can smell the lie about to leave your mouth” he said playfully squinting at me through his bangs that were falling over his eyes.

  “Just tell me! Remember we listen and we don’t judge?” he egged on.

You rolled your eyes, his persuasion had your tongue loosening, might as well just lay it all out, he was your best friend so what’s the worst that could happen?

  “I want to be held down and forced into submission. And then fucked.” You tightly shut your eyes as if trying to hide behind your eyelids, and Chan slightly shifts above you, you could feel his eyes on your face.

  “Held down? F-fucked? Like consensual non-consent?” The way the words left his mouth made it sound so sinfully delicious, and you were suddenly aware of how deep in uncharted waters you were. This seemed wrong. You nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah, that. I-I’d like to have someone pin me down and have their way with me. To force me to stay still and take it.” Chan went so quiet and still as a rock that you immediately regretted opening your big mouth, you were about to push him off you when his large veiny hand came up to circle around your neck, effectively pressing you into the mattress and pinning you in place, you mouth fell open, eyes wide like saucers, reflexively both your hands reached up to grab onto his jeweled wrist.

  “Like this? If the guy had you under him like this you would want that?” The silence in the room was so loud. Your brain struggled to process what your best friend was saying, this whole situation didn’t even feel real. You struggled to nod.

  “Use your words when I ask you a question” Chan said in a tone that was quite foreign to you, you swallowed.

  “I would try to struggle out of it, but yes. I would want it.” you manage to say.

Chan just continues to stare at you, or rather his hand on your neck.

  “Show me”

  “Chan..” he cut you off by applying more pressure to his grip.

  “Show. me.” he repeated, his eyes daring you to disobey. You started to trash and claw at his hands, at first not with enough force to remove it but when you started to feel the blood drain from your head, you instinctively entered fight or flight mode.

Heat started to pool at the base of your stomach as your body instinctively responded to your best friend randomly choking you out of curiosity, you bucked your hips upwards and met with his for a second and that was exactly when Chan released you and moved off your body just as abruptly as he had climbed on.

  “Shit, that was… I never pegged you for that kind of stuff” Chan said staring at you from the side as you tried to catch your breath, your face burned in embarrassment, you tried to hide under a pillow but Chan chuckled and stopped you. “I don’t mean that in a negative way… at all”.

  “Shut up! I didn’t expect you to actually do that” you whisper yelled, then tried to hit him with the pillow.

  “Is that how you get every time that happens?” he asked after a moment. The redness in your face came back.

  “I’ve never actually done it before… well before now” you muttered.

  “What? I thought...”

  “My ex said I was weird when I suggested it to him, so I never actually did this or went all the way with that fantasy”

  “Are you serious?” Chan was pleasantly shocked, the way you talked about it so wistfully, one would have thought you did it a lot.

  “There’s actually a lot I wasn’t able to do with him” you don’t know why you kept talking, because knowing Chan, he would ask but maybe you wanted to let him know, see what he would say.

  “Uhm, I don’t know if I should ask”

You rolled your eyes and turned away, your back now facing his chest again, Chan didn’t hesitate to pull you back into him, this time though you were aware of little Chan waking up behind you but you said nothing about it.

  “So, one time we watched porn together and there was a scene where the guy was … um, fingering the girl I guess, she squirted so much but I guess it was because he was so fast with it. I asked my ex if he could do that to me, he said it was impossible cause no girl actually came from being fingered, much less squirting, and I know I haven’t. I just concluded a lot of porn isn’t real”

Silence fell upon the room again, you could only hear Chan breathing, and of-course the wheels turning in his head.

  “Why do you think it wasn't real though?” He asks, finally breaking the silence.

  “Nobody gets fingered like that and it actually feels that good,” you replied. “I tried and it just hurts, so she was obviously faking it.”

  “Did you ever stop to think that maybe your ex just didn’t know what the fuck he was doing?”

You scoff. "Now you sound like you’ve actually made anyone cum from your fingers before. I doubt you've ever even made one squirt."

You feel him lift his head from the pillow behind you, "Are you implying I am just as clueless as your ex?"

  “This is not even about my ex,” you say, turning your head to look back at him. “Just stating the obvious, it takes a lot for a girl to squirt, it requires a certain level of expertise and I’ve been with enough guys to know that it’s not as easy as porn stars make it seem.”

  “So, you’re saying, you’ve never squirted before? Like no one has ever even tried?” he asked after a beat, looking at you with that strange serious expression again.

  “Yes, I haven’t and that’s about normal because I haven’t just been with only one guy.” you said matter of factly.

Chan said nothing, only just stared at your face like he was trying to find answers to something. As you stared back however, the absolutely neutral expression on his face, threw you in for a loop. You found yourself backtracking, talking again way too fast and digging yourself into a deeper hole.

  “He was moving way too fast that definitely had to hurt!” you said. “It didn't even look like he was hitting her g-spot, but there she was, squirting all over his hand! It just didn't seem real, I’m convinced they were acting, even her moans were so absurd?” you scoffed, remembering that particular porn video and how jealous and pissed you were of it.

  “Y/n, baby girl” he says. “I'm telling you, if no guy has ever made you feel that good from fingering, they're doing it wrong.”

  “All of them?”

  “I promise you”

  "So, what makes you think you can do it right?" you challenge. You had no idea why you were trying to get a rise out of him, like you didn’t just learn the hard way a few minutes ago when he had his hand around your neck, but he was way too cocky for this conversation, and that was starting to get on your nerves, you didn’t like being the only one who was getting hot and bothered by the back and forth.

  "I don’t think, I know" He stated it like a fact. It pissed you off, how sure of himself he sounded, you were the one with a pussy so you knew exactly what you were talking about and here he was acting like he was a grand master of some sort, that infuriating response of his was what motivated you to say what you did

  "Yeah right, I’d like to see you try." you challenge without much thought.

He lets out a small chuckle. "Be careful what you wish for y/n, I just might grant it"

  "What?" You stutter.

  "You do know what you’re asking right?" he smirks at you.

He shifts closer to you on the bed, his hand around your waist tightening and pulling you flush against him. “You want me to make you squirt... on my fingers” he whispers the last part, his lips so close to your ear that his breath sent visible shivers down your spine, a reaction that didn’t escape your best friends notice.

Okay so maybe you didn’t exactly think that through, you had expected Chan to back off, to re-draw the rapidly blurring line with white chalk but instead he was playing into it, pushing at your boundaries like a game of gay chicken. You were all too aware of his hard on pressing shamelessly on your lower back, you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol, you both had earlier that evening that caused this sudden boost of daring confidence on both your parts but whatever it was, Chan wasn’t backing down, and you weren’t about to ruin this once in a life time opportunity.

  “I mean, if you’re so confident and sure of yourself, why don’t you prove it?” you quip back.

  “You’re playing a dangerous game y/n” he warns with that dark low voice, pushing his crotch into the softness of your skimpily clad butt, you suck in a sharp bread as he digs into your flesh your thighs clenching in a subconscious response.

  “It kinda seems to me like you’re biting more than you can chew, so prove it Chan”

Your words are sarcastic but you get the reaction you wanted from him nonetheless; he reaches down your stomach and slides under the waistband of your shorts which were already damp and stuck to your naked cunt, pulling them down to your knees in one swift motion. You gasp loudly as soon as you realize you're left completely bare for him.

This had officially crossed into uncharted territory.

Reflexively, you try to cover your naked body but Chan grabbed your hand faster than lightening and pinned it behind you. He used his knee to pry your legs open to hang over his, baring your cunt even more that you felt the cool breeze of the air condition fan it.

  "I don’t think so," he chides. "You don't get to hide from me, I’m taking your challenge y/n." he put his hand on your knee and slowly glided it along your soft inner thigh sending electric sparks up your body.

He leans over the side of your neck to get a view of your core glistening and spread out for him; his mouth so close to your neck making you arch into him which earned a sharp hiss as you ground against his boner. he reached over you, ignoring your core completely to push two of his middle fingers past your lips. Your brows shoot up in surprise and he lets out a small breath that's reminiscent of a laugh.

  "Make them wet." he ordered.

You did exactly as you were told.

You swirled your tongue around the fingers in your mouth, getting them slick and lubed up for him. You did it so obscenely, moaning slightly at the taste of his fingers and he responded by shoving them deeper into your mouth, pumping them in and out like he had mentally pictured doing with his dick to your throat.

  “Look how quiet you’ve suddenly become,” he gloated, knowing he'd already managed to shut you up without even touching your cunt yet. “You only have one chance to tell me to stop y/n, we don’t have to do this, just say the word”

When he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, you shook your head no

  “Words” He warned.

  “I’m fine as long as you are Chan, unless you’re running away” you added the last part cheekily which made Chan chuckle.

He reached down your body, to the point between your spread legs and finally made contact with your folds. His touches were light and teasing. From behind you, he was watching the rises and falls of your chest, your labored breaths, he could even see the way your nipples had hardened in arousal and poking through your flimsy tank top material. Chan was in awe of your perfect body, if anyone had told him when he woke up that morning that he would be touching his best friend in the dirtiest ways only saved for his fantasies by the end of the day, he would have told them to eat shit.

Chan watched with rapt attention the way you tried to clench your thighs again not to hide from him, but to try relieving the pressure between your legs and he just smirks. When he had enough of the teasing, his slicked fingers dipped into your hole without resistance, you can hear the squelching sounds, a telltale sign that you were drenched, you let out a low whine at the delicious intrusion and Chan responded by taking your earlobe into his hot mouth, this time your moan was loud and clear.

He shallowly thrusts his fingers in and out teasing more whines and whimpers out of you, not wanting to give you what you wanted immediately, instead he gathered your wetness, bringing it up to spread across your folds. He tapped your clit with his fingers, not quite stimulating you but when you start to trash and whine to meet his fingers, he shushes you by squeezing your inner thigh and biting your ear.

When his fingers finally pay attention to your clit. He rubs circles around it, rhythmically and systematically working you up, slowly and steadily building you up until you're a complete mess in his hands. He switched between stimulating your clit and fucking his thick middle fingers up into your soaking hole creating the same lewd and squelching sounds you saw in the said porn video, occasionally he would curl them to hitting that honey spot that had you gasping and moaning his name over and over, it was safe to say you were on cloud 9.

You were so lost in the pleasure that you didn’t think before pulling up the hem of your tank top to free your sensitive engorged breasts, you reached for both of them and squeezed simultaneously pulling and twisting at your hardened nubs. You threw your head back onto Chan’s shoulder, giving his mouth access to ravage your exposed skin. Chan didn’t waste time in attaching his mouth to your neck to mark you up, but when his eyes locked on your naked tits it’s like something snapped in his head.

In one swift movement, Chan flipped you to your back again like you weighed nothing but a feather, he assumed his position back above you but in the space between your spread legs. He took a second to let his lust darkened eyes roam all over your body beneath him

  “Fucking hell y/n! You’re so beautiful” he whistled making you blush and look away

  “Look at me, I wanna see the face you make when I take you apart”

When your eyes met his again, the look he gave you was downright devious. He leaned forward not breaking eye contact with you, and spat directly on your soaked pussy. You gasped at the utter nastiness that was your best friend.

  "You liked that didn’t you?"

You nodded, but quickly corrected yourself when he shot you a look

  “Y-yes Channie, I like it”

  “You’re a fucking dirty girl, aren’t you” he sneered and You whined at his words, your hands still squeezing your full breasts, you looked so wanton and vulnerable.

When his fingers dived back into your cunt again the pace, he set was brutal, his fingers thrust into you hard and fast. His other hand joined in on the onslaught and attacked your clit, stimulating you from different points, Chan didn’t relent his wicked pace, all you could hear was his grunts, the sound of skin slapping skin, the squelching of your soaked cunt and your unbridled moans.

  "S’too much Channie" you whine. “Fuck fuck fuck”

  "Not yet baby girl," he tells you again. "You wanted it so fucking bad. You can take it. You’re almost there" Your hips buck up to meet his hands mid thrust and you start to pulsate around him-he could tell you were getting close. His fingers left your hole and attacked your clit, hardened and wet as he rubbed furiously but with precision and rhythm.

  “Chan please stop! I feel like I’m gonna pee” you beg, starting to trash around to escape but Chan splays his free hand across your stomach, effectively pinning you down.

  “No, you’re not baby girl, just let go” he assures you, not slowing down his hands for a second. “Let go y/n”

It was that last flick on your clit that had your body shutting down, all your nerve endings were on fire as you arched away from the bed and into Chan’s hand, your body shook with waves after waves of pleasure, your juices covering Chan in a never-ending spray, drenching his sweats and torso. You couldn’t believe it; you were watching yourself squirt and squirt like a broken faucet all over your best friend who just grinned and licked his lips. He looked like a mad man.

When you came down from your high you watched as he removed rubbed his fingers on your cunt coating his hand with your cum, as he looked at you all smug before he slipped them into his mouth with a grin. You stare at his drenched and still very hard dick in his sweats, still trying to catch your breath.

  "Mmmh, tastes like pineapples" he says to you smirking.

  “Oh my god Chan, what did you do to me?”

  “I just proved that I could make you squirt on my fingers” he winked, before finally getting up from the bed, his large tent still present and more visible now that the cloth was clinging to the very outline of his dick, you couldn’t take your eyes off it, it had to be almost as thick as your wrist and a good 8.5 inches long, your mouth watered

  “My eyes are up here y/n” you must have been staring for a beat too long.

  “You’ve been hard for so long, doesn’t it hurt?” you mutter in a small voice instinctively reaching for him

  “Don’t worry about me, I’ll handle it” he said catching your hand midair and placing a kiss on it. “Tonight, was all about you” he said softly.

  “But...”

  “Shhh, now let’s go get you cleaned up and then ill change the sheets” he cut you off, lifting you easily off the soiled bed and effectively shutting you up.

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Part 2

Authors note: Hi guys, so this fic is a reupload, I divided it into two parts so you can find the second part linked above.