皮肉屋と評論家

How do I even cook?

“Yes, I really, really think so little of your cooking skills.”  She replied, stressing the second ‘really’ for extra emphasis. “Do you remember that time when you got rice stuck on the ceiling, to this day I still cannot fathom how you managed to do that with just a pot and the stove.” Aradia laughed, shaking her head as she recounted horror stories of her sister cooking. It had been a great day for their nutritional intake when she had taken over the role of chief. While it was a struggle to find many of the ingredients needed for Japanese cuisine on Skaia, tonkatsu was an easy comfort food to prepare, even if, much to her displeasure, she couldn’t properly deep fry the pork within the kitchen set up. “Yes, it was your turn to go shopping, Feferi had gone prior to you.” She replied to Damara, her scolding quickly becoming halfhearted as she began to prepare the food.

Damara pouted at her younger sister’s words and stuck her tongue out childishly, “It can’t be hoped that no one informed me that it was my turn to shop. And the rice on the ceiling was not my fault… the water boiled a bit more… energetically than I expected. There was no way for me to know that the pressure release hole on the pot lid was clogged.” As the younger Megido began cooking and the scent of burnt food was replaced by the far better aroma of cooked pork, Damara went back to lay on the couch, relaxing as she awaited the meal, “So, how’s your day been, recent events notwithstanding.”

“No one told you it was your turn to go shopping because it is something you should be aware of at this point. Do we really need to put up a chore wheel like we are children?” Aradia chided, shaking her head over her sister’s ridiculous attitude. She worked at a casual pace, the recipe and required preparation coming to her with ease. “It is common knowledge that you have to watch rice carefully when cooking it on a stove top.” She called out as her sister retreated to the couch. In demonstration, Aradia turned back to the stove, checking on the pot of near boiling water and rice. Turning down the temperature, she grabbed the handle and moved around the content with a movement of her wrist. Letting out an exaggerated sigh, she employed a drop and duck tact to depositing the breaded pork into a hot pan of oil. “My day has been fine!” She said, letting out a soft yelp as oil sputtered onto her skin. Clearing her throat, Aradia dropped in a few more pieces into the pan, retreating back a few paces as the oil jumped. “What about you? Any more shenanigans I should be aware of?” She asked, turning her head to look at Damara. 

Aradia lifted the lid off of the pot, giving the rice a quick stir to ensure it didn’t stick to the bottom. Replacing the top, she turned her attention back to the pan, flipping the bearded pork in the oil, making sure that each side became a nice golden brown. It was only a shallow fry as opposed to the deep frying that tonkatsu was supposed to go through, but it would be good enough. She looked up to see Damara flipping her the middle finger, which was a pretty common occurrence. “Keep that finger up any longer and you will not be getting at of these delicious food.” She warned, her tone clearly playful in nature. The meat would take a little while to fully cook through and the rice needed about twenty minutes in total. Aradia listened to her sister complain about the middle Peixes. “No way, I am not about to get involved in this little war you two have going on, that would be an unnecessary death sentence.” She said with a laugh, shaking her head slowly and leaning against the counter top. “I swear, you have the biggest hate boner for Meenah.” She quipped, wiggling her eye brows. 

How do I even cook?

“Yes, I really, really think so little of your cooking skills.”  She replied, stressing the second ‘really’ for extra emphasis. “Do you remember that time when you got rice stuck on the ceiling, to this day I still cannot fathom how you managed to do that with just a pot and the stove.” Aradia laughed, shaking her head as she recounted horror stories of her sister cooking. It had been a great day for their nutritional intake when she had taken over the role of chief. While it was a struggle to find many of the ingredients needed for Japanese cuisine on Skaia, tonkatsu was an easy comfort food to prepare, even if, much to her displeasure, she couldn’t properly deep fry the pork within the kitchen set up. “Yes, it was your turn to go shopping, Feferi had gone prior to you.” She replied to Damara, her scolding quickly becoming halfhearted as she began to prepare the food.

Damara pouted at her younger sister’s words and stuck her tongue out childishly, “It can’t be hoped that no one informed me that it was my turn to shop. And the rice on the ceiling was not my fault… the water boiled a bit more… energetically than I expected. There was no way for me to know that the pressure release hole on the pot lid was clogged.” As the younger Megido began cooking and the scent of burnt food was replaced by the far better aroma of cooked pork, Damara went back to lay on the couch, relaxing as she awaited the meal, “So, how’s your day been, recent events notwithstanding.”

“No one told you it was your turn to go shopping because it is something you should be aware of at this point. Do we really need to put up a chore wheel like we are children?” Aradia chided, shaking her head over her sister’s ridiculous attitude. She worked at a casual pace, the recipe and required preparation coming to her with ease. “It is common knowledge that you have to watch rice carefully when cooking it on a stove top.” She called out as her sister retreated to the couch. In demonstration, Aradia turned back to the stove, checking on the pot of near boiling water and rice. Turning down the temperature, she grabbed the handle and moved around the content with a movement of her wrist. Letting out an exaggerated sigh, she employed a drop and duck tact to depositing the breaded pork into a hot pan of oil. “My day has been fine!” She said, letting out a soft yelp as oil sputtered onto her skin. Clearing her throat, Aradia dropped in a few more pieces into the pan, retreating back a few paces as the oil jumped. “What about you? Any more shenanigans I should be aware of?” She asked, turning her head to look at Damara. 

How do I even cook?

“Yes, I really, really think so little of your cooking skills.”  She replied, stressing the second ‘really’ for extra emphasis. “Do you remember that time when you got rice stuck on the ceiling, to this day I still cannot fathom how you managed to do that with just a pot and the stove.” Aradia laughed, shaking her head as she recounted horror stories of her sister cooking. It had been a great day for their nutritional intake when she had taken over the role of chief. While it was a struggle to find many of the ingredients needed for Japanese cuisine on Skaia, tonkatsu was an easy comfort food to prepare, even if, much to her displeasure, she couldn’t properly deep fry the pork within the kitchen set up. “Yes, it was your turn to go shopping, Feferi had gone prior to you.” She replied to Damara, her scolding quickly becoming halfhearted as she began to prepare the food.

Damara pouted at her younger sister’s words and stuck her tongue out childishly, “It can’t be hoped that no one informed me that it was my turn to shop. And the rice on the ceiling was not my fault... the water boiled a bit more... energetically than I expected. There was no way for me to know that the pressure release hole on the pot lid was clogged.” As the younger Megido began cooking and the scent of burnt food was replaced by the far better aroma of cooked pork, Damara went back to lay on the couch, relaxing as she awaited the meal, “So, how’s your day been, recent events notwithstanding.”

Prying her eyes from her book, Damara stood from the couch, wincing as she caught sight of the clouds of smoke. Striding into the kitchen, her wince only became more pronounced at the sight of the charred meat and still bubbling pot. Shrugging sheepishly towards her rather annoyed looking sister, Damara spoke, “Ahhh, umm, hello… imouto-chan… Is there… a problem?” Thinking desperately of some way to salvage this and not look quite as incompetent, especially since the younger Peixes could come in anytime, and who knew how much her and her older… sister? talked. She couldn’t ever let that bitch know about ANYTHING that could be held over her.

Turning around, she planted her hands on her hips and gave her older sister a disapproving look.  “Onee-chan,” she said with a frown, eyes darting back to the stove, where the clearly smoking pan, charred meat, and boiling water still sat, evidence of her sister’s failed cooking attempt.  “Yes, there is a problem. Our dorm room is filled with smoke and I think if I had not come home, the building would have burned down.”  She raised her eyebrows, leaning back against the counter and crossing her arms across her chest.  “So, do you want to explain to me why you were trying to make food? When we both know very well that you cannot cook.”  She let out an exasperated sigh, turning back around to deal with the pan, that now needed to be scrubbed, and letting her sister flounder over an answer.  

Laughing nervously, the elder Megido responded, “Ha…hahaha…I’m sure it wouldn’t have burned the whole building down… maybe only a bit of it?” She grinned sheepishly as she weakly defended herself and began trying to shift the blame, “And I was going to check on it after this next chapter anyways, nothing to worry about! And I was only trying to make food because neither of you were here, we’re out of the microwavable shit, and I happen to be hungry. Who’s turn was it to shop last? They forgot to get stuff I can actually prepare.” It had been her turn to shop last, but maybe her imouto had forgotten?

“Me, of all people? You wound me imouto, do you really think so little of my cooking,” the elder Megido drawled sarcastically before getting a bit nervous as her sister brought up who’s turn it had been to shop, “Ahhh, was it my turn? How time flies, I could have sworn it was Feferi’s...” Damara grinned weakly, obviously lying, if only as an attempt to save face. As Aradia pulled out more ingredients, her elder sister would be pouting at being caught out so easily, even if it was the sister she’d pretty much raised, and in response to the younger Megido’s question, Damara muttered, “Hai, hai.” TN: Yes, yes.

Prying her eyes from her book, Damara stood from the couch, wincing as she caught sight of the clouds of smoke. Striding into the kitchen, her wince only became more pronounced at the sight of the charred meat and still bubbling pot. Shrugging sheepishly towards her rather annoyed looking sister, Damara spoke, “Ahhh, umm, hello… imouto-chan… Is there… a problem?” Thinking desperately of some way to salvage this and not look quite as incompetent, especially since the younger Peixes could come in anytime, and who knew how much her and her older… sister? talked. She couldn’t ever let that bitch know about ANYTHING that could be held over her.

Turning around, she planted her hands on her hips and gave her older sister a disapproving look.  “Onee-chan,” she said with a frown, eyes darting back to the stove, where the clearly smoking pan, charred meat, and boiling water still sat, evidence of her sister’s failed cooking attempt.  “Yes, there is a problem. Our dorm room is filled with smoke and I think if I had not come home, the building would have burned down.”  She raised her eyebrows, leaning back against the counter and crossing her arms across her chest.  “So, do you want to explain to me why you were trying to make food? When we both know very well that you cannot cook.”  She let out an exasperated sigh, turning back around to deal with the pan, that now needed to be scrubbed, and letting her sister flounder over an answer.  

Laughing nervously, the elder Megido responded, “Ha...hahaha...I’m sure it wouldn’t have burned the whole building down... maybe only a bit of it?” She grinned sheepishly as she weakly defended herself and began trying to shift the blame, “And I was going to check on it after this next chapter anyways, nothing to worry about! And I was only trying to make food because neither of you were here, we’re out of the microwavable shit, and I happen to be hungry. Who’s turn was it to shop last? They forgot to get stuff I can actually prepare.” It had been her turn to shop last, but maybe her imouto had forgotten?

Prying her eyes from her book, Damara stood from the couch, wincing as she caught sight of the clouds of smoke. Striding into the kitchen, her wince only became more pronounced at the sight of the charred meat and still bubbling pot. Shrugging sheepishly towards her rather annoyed looking sister, Damara spoke, “Ahhh, umm, hello... imouto-chan... Is there... a problem?” Thinking desperately of some way to salvage this and not look quite as incompetent, especially since the younger Peixes could come in anytime, and who knew how much her and her older... sister? talked. She couldn’t ever let that bitch know about ANYTHING that could be held over her.

Ikatteiru?

“Absolutely no idea!” answered the elder of the sisters, grinning deviously. “But if I had to guess, I’d say she might spend at least part of that time having some fun, catch my drift? Anyways, you got a place to stay besides the dorms, sis?” inquired Damara, an eyebrow raising as she continued, “You know you can always stay with me in the apartment, right?”

Ikatteiru?