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Summary: Thorne finally makes it back to his dorm, only to converse with the one person he didn't want to see.
Masterlist
Words: 1.2k
AO3 Link
A/N: bless my kaiswell heart. oh, and if you love thorne, i'm sorry. he will be going through it for the majority of this miniseries.
By the time Thorne got back to his dorm, he felt like he just finished a marathon. He spent the last two days at his fraternity, more time than he’d spent there the entire month, got drunk both times, was forced to watch over new pledges, narrowly avoided missing the due date for his paper, then proceeded to screw things up with the best person in his life.
Honestly, he felt like ripping open his shirt and screaming if he had the energy. Instead, he folded over his bed, groaning into his pillow. That’s when he noticed the silence. Where was his roommate?
Because the universe just loved tormenting him today, Kai opened the door. Wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, he looked like he’d just stepped out of an advertisement. Aces, when did his abs get so refined? Thorne had to keep up.
The kid’s eyes widened with excitement when he spotted Thorne. “You’re back!”
“What’s up, bro?” Thorne attempted nonchalance, trying not to think about how Cinder had shivered in his arms. Worst Roommate Ever award goes to Carswell Thorne for making out with the girl Kai had been obsessed with for the past three years. Though, of course, it was him who got with Cinder before Kai.
He eagerly set his shower caddy down and practically ran to Thorne’s side. “I need your help.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever said that to me. Let me relish this moment.” Thorne joked, but it felt off. Maybe because he just kissed his best friend! Maybe because he was already thinking of ways to get her to his room without Kai knowing! The same guy who begged for his help whenever she was single! Kai should not want his help.
“Put some clothes on first, Calvin Klein.”
Kai ignored his request. “I drank way too much last night and I said something to Cinder and I think I freaked her out.”
“I could tell. You slept until it was practically dark out. What did you say?”
He already knew. Cinder had told him. Then he kissed her. And she kissed him back. What does that mean? Usually A + B = C, but in this case, it equaled glaring and hatred. He may have instigated it, but she returned it.
“I don’t remember. Not really. Something about Jade.” He frowned. “But she’s been ignoring my texts.” He groaned.
“Are you and Jade dating, by the way?” Please say yes. Aces, Kai, for the love of everything good in this world, please say yes.
Another deliberating glare. Maybe Cinder and Kai really do belong together. Maybe Thorne should kiss Kai to make it even.
“You of all people should know how much I want to get out of this. I trust you the most.” He paused, as if debating whether to add to his statement. “You’re like my best friend, actually.”
On the outside, Thorne was merely looking at Kai, maybe even smiling. On the inside, Thorne was smashing his head against the wall, trying (and failing) to remove all feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. So he’d managed to screw over two of his best friends today, and he was lying to one of their faces. What a day! He used to consider himself lucky; now he was convinced he was out of stars to wish upon.
“I love you too, bro. No need to get all emotional.” He managed to speak. Then his tongue ran faster than his brain (which kept happening in all sorts of different ways). “Is that why you have no clothes on? Are you trying to seduce me?”
Another Cinder-like scowl. “Sorry, but I don’t swing that way.”
“I could kiss you right now and I think you’d like that.”
“No, I’d gag–”
“You sure would.” Thorne erupted into a grin.
Kai gaped for a second, then recomposed himself. “I actually don’t think I could, given that I’ve seen your ‘friend,’ and it’s nothing to look at. Actually, it was hard to tell what it even was, given how small it was.”
“Aw, you think about me that much? I’m touched.” He cocked his head. “Just like how I’m going to–”
“Ok, I’ve had enough.” Kai turned and walked away. Thorne chuckled and watched him leave.
“Turn around, pervert.”
“Nah, I like the view.”
Glare number three.
“If you wish, but only because I’m your best friend.”
“Shut up. I take it back.”
“No takebacks.”
“This isn’t kindergarten.”
“I don’t care.”
Once Kai changed, he returned to Thorne’s side of the room. “I think I might like Cinder again.”
Aces and Spades, sometimes Kai acted like they were in middle school. “What, do you like-like her?”
Glare number four. “Actually, I don’t need your help.”
Thorne grabbed his shoulder before he could leave. “I’m sorry, dude. Continue?”
Kai sighed, running his hand through wet hair. “I mean, I don’t even think I ever not liked her.”
“You mean love.”
He remained silent, which was all the confirmation Thorne was going to get.
“Well, you’re an asshole.” Thorne blurted. Perfect example of the ‘freudian slip.’ He knew that from when he’d quizzed Jacin in psychology.
Kai whipped his head towards him. “In what way?!”
Thorne shut his eyes. He remembered how distraught Cinder looked over Kai still being with Jade. The very reason she came to Thorne was because of this kid. Did Kai not know how much pain he was causing her?
“Imagine how Jade’s gonna feel if you got with Cinder. She might actually kill both of you.”
His roommate nodded. “I’ve accepted that fact, but something tells me that’s not all you meant to say.”
Thorne sighed. Kai was always good at reading people. He always had to be on guard whenever he had to hide something from the kid.
“Well, you’d make Cinder upset too.” He tried to act cool about it, but he couldn’t forget his desire to cheer the girl up while she subconsciously bit her lip.
Kai’s eyes narrowed. “You saw her today.”
How did he know that? “Uh, what?”
“You did. She told you what I said, did she?”
“I saw her, but she only seemed down. She didn't talk much.” No, but their bodies were. Oh, shut up Thorne!
Kai stared at him for a few more seconds before dropping the subject. “I think I’m gonna sleep now.”
The kid, disheartened, sluggishly made his way across the room. He climbed the cheap wooden ladder to tuck himself into his lofted bed. Thorne finally collapsed on his own with a deep sigh and finally began to unpack his bad decisions.
Sure, Thorne has found himself attracted to Cinder, but he never considered a relationship with her. No–he had. He never thought about it seriously enough to expect a good outcome, however. Plus, he couldn’t tell if Cinder actually thought he was hot or not.
The answer was yes, apparently.
Thorne shut his eyes, remembering the feeling of her lips against his. The way her fingers tugged recklessly at the ends of his hair. How she quieted his grunts with her mouth and–
“Thorne?” Kai suddenly asked.
He reluctantly opened his eyes. “Yeah?”
“You’ll help me? Get with Cinder, I mean?” Kai’s voice was small and vulnerable. He could feel the hope behind it.
He gulped. “Yeah, dude.”
“Also, can you turn off your lamp?”
Thorne chuckled but it sounded hollow against the guilt in his chest. “Sorry, yeah. Good night.”
“Night.”
He might be a bad friend tonight, but he’d make up for his sins tomorrow. Now, all he had to do was to get Cinder out of his head.
A/N: fyi, this is how allegedly straight male guys in college act with each other.
Tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @therealkaidertrash21 @cinderswirecutters @cyborgcourt @alsedoesart @asters-28 @sarabankesley @fuck-is-going-on @chronicles-rampion (i'm going to be tagging each new ch so let me know if you'd like to be added or removed <3)
I just accidentally deleted an entire album labeled “finished art”, including a project I just finished yesterday for a commission and all the previous artwork I’ve ever made since getting Procreate. This was all because I wasn’t paying attention and was just trying to delete the most recent item in the album but I mistook it for a lone file because it was the thumbnail if that makes sense. I suppose I just move on now, ANYWAY.
Good news, the newer TLC art I’ve been working on remains preserved. Gosh, if I lost that I’d be bawling
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I fear my expectations of my future husband are increasingly growing after every Kaider fic I read. I’m going to kiss him and accidentally call him Kai /j
sometimes the reason i wonder why i haven’t dated anyone is because i’m waiting for kai. i have to let him go before i can commit myself to someone else… but i can’t
Wait so we’re all just waiting for the same person who happens to already be married to the lady we simultaneously worship. Right right right. So… do we kiss
Summary: Still confused after Kai's drunken confession, she decides to visit a friend for advice. Except, there's something different in the air this time and one thing leads to another.
Masterlist
Words: 2.4k
Ao3 Link
A/N: So... this is what I've been rambling on for month. I think is was this chapter that I released a snippet of. Anyways, here's the college headcanon that I brought to life via this fic. Kaider fans, you might not like this, bue stick around. My rarepair shippers, FEAST.
Cinder struggled climbing over the gutter that led to the roof of her dorm. Students were strictly forbidden to trespass, and for good reason, but she and Thorne had claimed this haven a little over two years ago. Nobody else knew about the secret path they carved out, other than their friends, and it remained one of her favorite places.
As first-years, Thorne would invite her on a secret rendezvous to go smoke and bicker. Sophomore year Cinder quit smoking, and he followed suit a couple months later. Still, she felt at peace when she was there, alone or with him. It was silent; a corner of the earth she could escape to when everyone else was too loud.
She grunted, stepping over the brick ledge, finding Thorne already grinning at her.
“Hey, princess!” He greeted, a little too chirpily at this hour. “Need some help?”
She scowled in return. “Don’t call me that.” She grumbled as she wobbled to him. Thorne stole the nickname from Jacin, who dubbed her that last year when Iko made her walk around campus with a plastic tiara after losing a bet. Unfortunately, it stuck around.
“Hey, watch that attitude. You called me here, ‘member?” He rolled his eyes.
Cinder caught a whiff of an unpleasant smell she thought they left behind. “Are you smoking?”
He huffed out a small puff of grey air. “The house had some extra, and I wanted to release some steam. I can tell you need one too.” He replied, not waiting for a rebuttal.
Although cigarettes made her cringe, she couldn’t deny his accurate inference. After a moment’s hesitation, she sat down and lifted her palm up expectantly. He took one from the Marlboro box on the ground and gave it to her.
A breeze tickled her bare shoulders. She cursed. “It’s cold tonight.” Maybe she should’ve not worn a tank top.
Beside her, Thorne chuckled. “Here, take my jacket. I’m starting to sweat.”
Cinder opened her mouth to protest, but he was already shrugging the big leather garment off and placing it over her back, cigarette poking out from the corner of his mouth. She could only thank him.
Whenever she thought about her closest friends, Iko was no longer the sole face that popped up. The blue-haired girl now shared a seat with Carswell Thorne. He became her confidante, advisor, and occasional person to do reckless things with. With Iko at sorority events, Cinder got even closer to the rogue. Even though he too was involved with Greek life, he skipped them often and never faced any consequences. They’ve grown considerably comfortable around each other. Comfortable enough to randomly appear in his room and ask to sleep in his bed when she was too lazy to clean her sheets. Comfortable enough for him to show up at her dorm and for none of her suitemates to be bothered. Comfortable enough to doze off on each other’s side after studying for midterms. From the moment they met, they had an instant connection, a connection that had lasted for almost three years.
Thorne laid back on his palms, staring at the sky. “Ok, what’s up?”
She did the opposite; she leaned forward and hugged her knees to her chest. “Couldn’t I just call you here because I wanted to see you?”
“Ha! That’s sweet. I appreciate your obvious adoration towards me, but we both know that’s not why you called me.” Silence followed. “This is about my roommate, right?”
Cinder huffed and dug her head into her forearms.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He sighed and blew out his cigarette again.
“I just don’t know what to do.” She confessed, her voice half muffled. “You don’t know what he said last night.”
“I don’t. He was already in bed when I got home last night and dead asleep when I left this morning. He only gets like this when he’s severely hungover. How much did he drink, Cinder?”
“A lot. I mean, enough to make him bad off, which is not much compared to you,” she joked.
“What did he tell you?” He asked bluntly.
She recalled the fuzzy memory from last night. His closeness. His sparkling copper eyes. The genuine but heartbreaking tone of his voice. “That he only dated Jade because she reminds him of me.”
Cinder refused to move her gaze from her beat-up Converse. The corner of the white tip was starting to bend upwards.
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.” Thorne sat up, covering his face with his hands. “To be fair, I don’t think Kai knows that when he’s sober.”
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” Cinder mumbled. She didn’t want to think about it, not really. She came here to escape, not to wallow. The small white object twisted around her fingers.
“I always hated that saying. It’s not true. Do you know how many things I say to girls when I black out?”
“I don’t want to know.” She grunted. “It’s true this time, though?”
“Yeah, everyone knows that Jade hates you because you’re gonna take Kai away from her one day.” He noted.
She finally raised her head and glared at him.
“What? We all know this.” Thorne chuckled. “I think most of their arguments are about you.”
She groaned. “I think I want your lighter now.”
He sighed. “It’s so farrrr.” He then perked up and got close to her. “Put it in your mouth.”
Cinder raised an eyebrow, but obeyed nevertheless. He put his own cigarette in his mouth and leaned in so close she thought he was going to kiss her. She nearly jolted back before she realized his goal. He touched the tips of the tobacco-filled paper, using his already burning end to light hers.
The closeness and intimacy of the action made her heart race, just ever so slightly. He stayed there for a few seconds, making contact with her own widened eyes. She tried not to breathe as his gaze gradually intensified. Or move. They’d been much closer with each other before; however, this felt… different. Weird. In neither a good nor a bad way. Just… weird.
Once her end was lit, he pulled away, leaning on one hand while the other rested on his propped-up knee. He didn’t stray too far, though, and remained close. Cinder blinked the tension away from her mind and focused on her cigarette.
“So, will you?” Thorne asked, still looking at her.
She coughed. It’s been a minute since she smoked. “Will I what?”
“Take Kai away from Jade?”
“No! I’m not a homewrecker!” She rubbed her face with her fingers.
“Well…” Thorne responded in a high-pitched voice. “He kind of did confess his love for you.”
“He never said he loved me. Whatever crush he seems to have will pass– I’m sure it will.”
“Has yours passed?”
“That’s assuming I ever had one.”
“Well…”
She yanked a piece of his short brown hair. He cried out, flinching. “I don’t!”
“Cinder–! Damnit.” He caught her wrist before she could make another move. She moved to her knees trying to pull away, but he only tightened his grip. She was essentially kneeling in front of his slouched body. “That– that huuuuuurt.”
Cinder paused, cocking her head. Something about the tone of his voice, the slight slur, and demeanor of his movements wasn’t right. Oh stars, she had been too wrapped up in herself to notice Thorne’s state. “Are you drunk?”
His head, that was previously hung in mock pain, slowly lifted. A slowly increasing smile revealed the truth. “No…”
“Carswell, I’m not going to thug this out with you if you’re not with me.”
His tone grew serious. “Seriously I’m not. I only had a few shots before I got here–”
“A few?!”
“But it was at the house, so if anything, I’m tipsy. Definitely not drunk.” He chuckled.
She bit the inside of her cheek, contemplating. “Ok…”
With his free hand, he smoked his cigarette again. She did the same. He still refused to let go. “What do you feel when you see him?” He asked.
She blinked, looking down at her knees. Emotions she tried to push back threatened to break the vault she so laboriously created. Copper eyes and perfect smiles greeted her imagination. Giggles and complaints. A brush of the hand, a stolen glance, and sarcastic comment. Really, there was so much she could dwell on but refused to. He was a great friend, he couldn’t be anything more. Ever. Right?
“I… Don’t know.”
“So, not nothing.” He chuckled dryly.
She copied him. “No, not nothing.” Why was he still holding her hand?
Another puff of smoke. “You love him.”
Cinder flinched, looking up. “No, it’s not that.”
“You do. It’s evident on your face. You love the kid.” He rolled his eyes. “You’ve known longer than I have, sweetheart. You just refuse to admit it.”
They stared at each other for a long time. Then, something sparked in his eye, like an idea. He got closer. Cinder didn’t move. He dug the bud on the concrete floor.
The silence brought her to submission. “Maybe you're right.” She whispered. He finally let go of her arm to throw away the bud from the other. Sitting up, they were now eye-level to each other. Cinder kneeling and Thorne comfortable in front of her.
“I am right.” He smiled again, leaning even closer. What was he planning to do?
“What do I do?” She asked, like a plea for help. Like she was barely hanging on a broken raft at sea and he was a captain of a mighty ship, promising safety.
“I can tell you, but you won’t like it.” She could smell the alcohol and smoke on his lips, dangerously close to hers. Still, she didn't think much of it—only that she needed an answer. Or rather, she needed a distraction to cover up the turbulence brewing in her mind.
“Tell me.”
He chuckled again. She started to feel slightly intoxicated herself. “You have to tell this-” He tapped his index finger to her temple, “-to let this out-” he slowly dragged it down to her rapidly beating chest, “so you can use this-” his finger carved its way up her neck to her mouth, slightly opening it, “to get what you want.” He then cupped her cheek, replacing his index with his thumb.
“Let my heart out, huh?”
“Now, you’re getting it, honey. Let go.” He kept smiling—his gaze moving between her lips and her eyes while hers remained fixed.
“What are you doing?” She asked, utterly perplexed. He was confusing her even more. First, he tells her that she’s in love with Kai and now he’s holding her face like wanted to kiss her.
“I don’t know, this feels right.” He hummed. Then—oh stars, he started to lean in.
She froze instead of stopping him, missing the opportunity to push him away before he pressed his lips to hers. Let go.
She didn’t know what exactly possessed her, but the vault she tried so hard to keep closed suddenly broke open, everything flooding out like a dam breach. Her eyes shut closed as her mind wandered, and her senses took over.
Cinder kissed him back. She clutched at his hair like it was a lifeline and he responded almost immediately. His fingers rolled circles on her neck while his other one roamed free around her back. She bit back a moan when he found her hair. Suddenly, she was sitting on his lap, practically straddling him, wrapped up all over each other. He pulled his jacket off her shoulder and teased his hands under her tank-top.
Then, the strangest thing that has ever happened to her began. It was like she was suddenly yanked out of this universe and into the galaxy within her own brain. Thoughts assaulted her with metal baseball bats. The pelts almost felt painful physically.
As her fingers coursed through rough hair, she couldn’t help but imagine them much softer– silklike, even. The hands groping her were not rough but gentle and patient. The grunts she heard beneath her weren’t deep and growl-like, but patient and low. Even the lips she seemed infatuated with felt fuller and less-hungry.
She heard the same voice over and over in heard, swirling around her like she was caught in the middle of a school of fish. Or a flock of birds. Her eyes grew sore because of how tight she was squeezing them, trying to get the buzz out of her head. It was sweet, kind, and beautiful. Forgiving. Good stars, he had a girlfriend! Kind of! He shouldn’t say those kinds of words to someone who’s loved him forever. Who he possibly loved back. Right? Right?!
I always wanted you.
With a cry, she pulled away, about to accuse Kai of messing her up and throwing her off her rocker, when she realized that the startled eyes staring back at her weren’t the warm copper she expected—but harsh blue.
She gasped, suddenly remembering where she was and what she just did. “No, no, no, no, no–” She mumbled, pulling away from Thorne.
“Cinder, wait! I wasn’t thinking straight–” He tried to grab her but she jerked away.
Standing up, she tidied herself up, including fixing her top he was trying to take off. She quickly grabbed her phone and moved to make a quick escape when he begged her to wait once again.
“Just shut the fuck up!” She screamed. “I don’t want to see you! Leave me alone!” Tears sprung to her eyes, but she knew it wasn't from Thorne alone.
“Wait!” Thorne followed her down the wall. “Cinder, please!”
Once she successfully landed on the metal platform below her, she paused and looked above. Thorne was leaning over the brick ledge with his hand stretched out, the same one that attempted to remove her bra not even ten minutes ago. “What?”
He stuttered, searching for words. “What does this mean?”
She started, not expecting that. “Nothing, Thorne.” She tried to ignore how mean she sounded by ducking inside the door and away from her best friend.
So she did love Kai. And she found that out by kissing his roommate.
A/N: YAY! She finally posted it, after promising to do that for months. Sheesh, I hope she continues to update every Tuesday like she said she was.
Tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @therealkaidertrash21 @cinderswirecutters @cyborgcourt @alsedoesart @asters-28 @sarabankesley @fuck-is-going-on @chronicles-rampion (i'm going to be tagging each new ch so let me know if you'd like to be added or removed <3)
Ykw I was skeptical (in a good way) at first when u previously mentioned this idea, but reading this now was even more fire than I had anticipated. YES CINDER, YOU WANT KAI, NOT THORNE! GO GET HIM, TIGER
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Summary: Still confused after Kai's drunken confession, she decides to visit a friend for advice. Except, there's something different in the air this time and one thing leads to another.
Masterlist
Words: 2.4k
Ao3 Link
A/N: So... this is what I've been rambling on for month. I think is was this chapter that I released a snippet of. Anyways, here's the college headcanon that I brought to life via this fic. Kaider fans, you might not like this, bue stick around. My rarepair shippers, FEAST.
Cinder struggled climbing over the gutter that led to the roof of her dorm. Students were strictly forbidden to trespass, and for good reason, but she and Thorne had claimed this haven a little over two years ago. Nobody else knew about the secret path they carved out, other than their friends, and it remained one of her favorite places.
As first-years, Thorne would invite her on a secret rendezvous to go smoke and bicker. Sophomore year Cinder quit smoking, and he followed suit a couple months later. Still, she felt at peace when she was there, alone or with him. It was silent; a corner of the earth she could escape to when everyone else was too loud.
She grunted, stepping over the brick ledge, finding Thorne already grinning at her.
“Hey, princess!” He greeted, a little too chirpily at this hour. “Need some help?”
She scowled in return. “Don’t call me that.” She grumbled as she wobbled to him. Thorne stole the nickname from Jacin, who dubbed her that last year when Iko made her walk around campus with a plastic tiara after losing a bet. Unfortunately, it stuck around.
“Hey, watch that attitude. You called me here, ‘member?” He rolled his eyes.
Cinder caught a whiff of an unpleasant smell she thought they left behind. “Are you smoking?”
He huffed out a small puff of grey air. “The house had some extra, and I wanted to release some steam. I can tell you need one too.” He replied, not waiting for a rebuttal.
Although cigarettes made her cringe, she couldn’t deny his accurate inference. After a moment’s hesitation, she sat down and lifted her palm up expectantly. He took one from the Marlboro box on the ground and gave it to her.
A breeze tickled her bare shoulders. She cursed. “It’s cold tonight.” Maybe she should’ve not worn a tank top.
Beside her, Thorne chuckled. “Here, take my jacket. I’m starting to sweat.”
Cinder opened her mouth to protest, but he was already shrugging the big leather garment off and placing it over her back, cigarette poking out from the corner of his mouth. She could only thank him.
Whenever she thought about her closest friends, Iko was no longer the sole face that popped up. The blue-haired girl now shared a seat with Carswell Thorne. He became her confidante, advisor, and occasional person to do reckless things with. With Iko at sorority events, Cinder got even closer to the rogue. Even though he too was involved with Greek life, he skipped them often and never faced any consequences. They’ve grown considerably comfortable around each other. Comfortable enough to randomly appear in his room and ask to sleep in his bed when she was too lazy to clean her sheets. Comfortable enough for him to show up at her dorm and for none of her suitemates to be bothered. Comfortable enough to doze off on each other’s side after studying for midterms. From the moment they met, they had an instant connection, a connection that had lasted for almost three years.
Thorne laid back on his palms, staring at the sky. “Ok, what’s up?”
She did the opposite; she leaned forward and hugged her knees to her chest. “Couldn’t I just call you here because I wanted to see you?”
“Ha! That’s sweet. I appreciate your obvious adoration towards me, but we both know that’s not why you called me.” Silence followed. “This is about my roommate, right?”
Cinder huffed and dug her head into her forearms.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He sighed and blew out his cigarette again.
“I just don’t know what to do.” She confessed, her voice half muffled. “You don’t know what he said last night.”
“I don’t. He was already in bed when I got home last night and dead asleep when I left this morning. He only gets like this when he’s severely hungover. How much did he drink, Cinder?”
“A lot. I mean, enough to make him bad off, which is not much compared to you,” she joked.
“What did he tell you?” He asked bluntly.
She recalled the fuzzy memory from last night. His closeness. His sparkling copper eyes. The genuine but heartbreaking tone of his voice. “That he only dated Jade because she reminds him of me.”
Cinder refused to move her gaze from her beat-up Converse. The corner of the white tip was starting to bend upwards.
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.” Thorne sat up, covering his face with his hands. “To be fair, I don’t think Kai knows that when he’s sober.”
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” Cinder mumbled. She didn’t want to think about it, not really. She came here to escape, not to wallow. The small white object twisted around her fingers.
“I always hated that saying. It’s not true. Do you know how many things I say to girls when I black out?”
“I don’t want to know.” She grunted. “It’s true this time, though?”
“Yeah, everyone knows that Jade hates you because you’re gonna take Kai away from her one day.” He noted.
She finally raised her head and glared at him.
“What? We all know this.” Thorne chuckled. “I think most of their arguments are about you.”
She groaned. “I think I want your lighter now.”
He sighed. “It’s so farrrr.” He then perked up and got close to her. “Put it in your mouth.”
Cinder raised an eyebrow, but obeyed nevertheless. He put his own cigarette in his mouth and leaned in so close she thought he was going to kiss her. She nearly jolted back before she realized his goal. He touched the tips of the tobacco-filled paper, using his already burning end to light hers.
The closeness and intimacy of the action made her heart race, just ever so slightly. He stayed there for a few seconds, making contact with her own widened eyes. She tried not to breathe as his gaze gradually intensified. Or move. They’d been much closer with each other before; however, this felt… different. Weird. In neither a good nor a bad way. Just… weird.
Once her end was lit, he pulled away, leaning on one hand while the other rested on his propped-up knee. He didn’t stray too far, though, and remained close. Cinder blinked the tension away from her mind and focused on her cigarette.
“So, will you?” Thorne asked, still looking at her.
She coughed. It’s been a minute since she smoked. “Will I what?”
“Take Kai away from Jade?”
“No! I’m not a homewrecker!” She rubbed her face with her fingers.
“Well…” Thorne responded in a high-pitched voice. “He kind of did confess his love for you.”
“He never said he loved me. Whatever crush he seems to have will pass– I’m sure it will.”
“Has yours passed?”
“That’s assuming I ever had one.”
“Well…”
She yanked a piece of his short brown hair. He cried out, flinching. “I don’t!”
“Cinder–! Damnit.” He caught her wrist before she could make another move. She moved to her knees trying to pull away, but he only tightened his grip. She was essentially kneeling in front of his slouched body. “That– that huuuuuurt.”
Cinder paused, cocking her head. Something about the tone of his voice, the slight slur, and demeanor of his movements wasn’t right. Oh stars, she had been too wrapped up in herself to notice Thorne’s state. “Are you drunk?”
His head, that was previously hung in mock pain, slowly lifted. A slowly increasing smile revealed the truth. “No…”
“Carswell, I’m not going to thug this out with you if you’re not with me.”
His tone grew serious. “Seriously I’m not. I only had a few shots before I got here–”
“A few?!”
“But it was at the house, so if anything, I’m tipsy. Definitely not drunk.” He chuckled.
She bit the inside of her cheek, contemplating. “Ok…”
With his free hand, he smoked his cigarette again. She did the same. He still refused to let go. “What do you feel when you see him?” He asked.
She blinked, looking down at her knees. Emotions she tried to push back threatened to break the vault she so laboriously created. Copper eyes and perfect smiles greeted her imagination. Giggles and complaints. A brush of the hand, a stolen glance, and sarcastic comment. Really, there was so much she could dwell on but refused to. He was a great friend, he couldn’t be anything more. Ever. Right?
“I… Don’t know.”
“So, not nothing.” He chuckled dryly.
She copied him. “No, not nothing.” Why was he still holding her hand?
Another puff of smoke. “You love him.”
Cinder flinched, looking up. “No, it’s not that.”
“You do. It’s evident on your face. You love the kid.” He rolled his eyes. “You’ve known longer than I have, sweetheart. You just refuse to admit it.”
They stared at each other for a long time. Then, something sparked in his eye, like an idea. He got closer. Cinder didn’t move. He dug the bud on the concrete floor.
The silence brought her to submission. “Maybe you're right.” She whispered. He finally let go of her arm to throw away the bud from the other. Sitting up, they were now eye-level to each other. Cinder kneeling and Thorne comfortable in front of her.
“I am right.” He smiled again, leaning even closer. What was he planning to do?
“What do I do?” She asked, like a plea for help. Like she was barely hanging on a broken raft at sea and he was a captain of a mighty ship, promising safety.
“I can tell you, but you won’t like it.” She could smell the alcohol and smoke on his lips, dangerously close to hers. Still, she didn't think much of it—only that she needed an answer. Or rather, she needed a distraction to cover up the turbulence brewing in her mind.
“Tell me.”
He chuckled again. She started to feel slightly intoxicated herself. “You have to tell this-” He tapped his index finger to her temple, “-to let this out-” he slowly dragged it down to her rapidly beating chest, “so you can use this-” his finger carved its way up her neck to her mouth, slightly opening it, “to get what you want.” He then cupped her cheek, replacing his index with his thumb.
“Let my heart out, huh?”
“Now, you’re getting it, honey. Let go.” He kept smiling—his gaze moving between her lips and her eyes while hers remained fixed.
“What are you doing?” She asked, utterly perplexed. He was confusing her even more. First, he tells her that she’s in love with Kai and now he’s holding her face like wanted to kiss her.
“I don’t know, this feels right.” He hummed. Then—oh stars, he started to lean in.
She froze instead of stopping him, missing the opportunity to push him away before he pressed his lips to hers. Let go.
She didn’t know what exactly possessed her, but the vault she tried so hard to keep closed suddenly broke open, everything flooding out like a dam breach. Her eyes shut closed as her mind wandered, and her senses took over.
Cinder kissed him back. She clutched at his hair like it was a lifeline and he responded almost immediately. His fingers rolled circles on her neck while his other one roamed free around her back. She bit back a moan when he found her hair. Suddenly, she was sitting on his lap, practically straddling him, wrapped up all over each other. He pulled his jacket off her shoulder and teased his hands under her tank-top.
Then, the strangest thing that has ever happened to her began. It was like she was suddenly yanked out of this universe and into the galaxy within her own brain. Thoughts assaulted her with metal baseball bats. The pelts almost felt painful physically.
As her fingers coursed through rough hair, she couldn’t help but imagine them much softer– silklike, even. The hands groping her were not rough but gentle and patient. The grunts she heard beneath her weren’t deep and growl-like, but patient and low. Even the lips she seemed infatuated with felt fuller and less-hungry.
She heard the same voice over and over in heard, swirling around her like she was caught in the middle of a school of fish. Or a flock of birds. Her eyes grew sore because of how tight she was squeezing them, trying to get the buzz out of her head. It was sweet, kind, and beautiful. Forgiving. Good stars, he had a girlfriend! Kind of! He shouldn’t say those kinds of words to someone who’s loved him forever. Who he possibly loved back. Right? Right?!
I always wanted you.
With a cry, she pulled away, about to accuse Kai of messing her up and throwing her off her rocker, when she realized that the startled eyes staring back at her weren’t the warm copper she expected—but harsh blue.
She gasped, suddenly remembering where she was and what she just did. “No, no, no, no, no–” She mumbled, pulling away from Thorne.
“Cinder, wait! I wasn’t thinking straight–” He tried to grab her but she jerked away.
Standing up, she tidied herself up, including fixing her top he was trying to take off. She quickly grabbed her phone and moved to make a quick escape when he begged her to wait once again.
“Just shut the fuck up!” She screamed. “I don’t want to see you! Leave me alone!” Tears sprung to her eyes, but she knew it wasn't from Thorne alone.
“Wait!” Thorne followed her down the wall. “Cinder, please!”
Once she successfully landed on the metal platform below her, she paused and looked above. Thorne was leaning over the brick ledge with his hand stretched out, the same one that attempted to remove her bra not even ten minutes ago. “What?”
He stuttered, searching for words. “What does this mean?”
She started, not expecting that. “Nothing, Thorne.” She tried to ignore how mean she sounded by ducking inside the door and away from her best friend.
So she did love Kai. And she found that out by kissing his roommate.
A/N: YAY! She finally posted it, after promising to do that for months. Sheesh, I hope she continues to update every Tuesday like she said she was.
Tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @therealkaidertrash21 @cinderswirecutters @cyborgcourt @alsedoesart @asters-28 @sarabankesley @fuck-is-going-on @chronicles-rampion (i'm going to be tagging each new ch so let me know if you'd like to be added or removed <3)
Ykw I was skeptical (in a good way) at first when u previously mentioned this idea, but reading this now was even more fire than I had anticipated. YES CINDER, YOU WANT KAI, NOT THORNE! GO GET HIM, TIGER
Summary: Kai tells Cinder something that throws her off. He's also slightly intoxicated.
Masterlist
Words: 777
AO3 Link
A/N: Chapter 1 of my College AU miniseries! Hope you enjoy, I've been saving this one in my pocket. Also, shoutout to @cinderswirecutters who beta-read the first couple chapters and has provided me so much support! Love you! This is a short one, so bear with me...
Kai was drunk—that much Cinder could tell. He giggled over every small joke, slurring on every phrase, and was as pink as a peach. His usual kept hair had fallen into his eyes, and whatever composure he’d started the night with had long since vanished.
Oh, and he was clutching onto Cinder for dear life.
She, who had a few drinks but nowhere near as many as Kai, laughed along with him and found his chuckles endearing. They were on the couch in her small suite of four. Cress went to bed early, but Scarlet, Wolf, Jacin, and Winter played cards on the ground. Thorne had a mixer at his fraternity. Iko was passed out in a corner after losing a drinking game with none other than, yes, Kai.
“No, Go Fish, baby!” Scarlet grinned at Winter. Winter pouted on Jacin’s arm and picked up yet another card. She was having lots of bad luck in this game. Wolf was on the same boat. Jacin and Scarlet were neck and neck.
Kai muttered something to himself and then laughed out loud again. “Kai, what’s up?” She giggled.
“You’re– You’re just so warm.” He cooed, tucking his head inside the curve of her neck. If she didn’t feel hot before, she definitely was now. His arms were still wrapped tightly around her waist, securing her by his side. “Don’t leave,” he muttered.
At least he didn’t have wandering hands. He only wanted to hug her, it seemed. She tried not to think about why.
She did not want to think about his patient smile or his pretty eyes. Or how he could always tell when she was uncomfortable and magically appear to make her feel better. She did not want to think about their years of friendship—full of almosts and tense moments. Their almost-kiss when he passed his calc exam with flying colors (which he insisted was because of her). The way she could easily relax around him without even trying. The way he made her laugh.
She definitely did not want to think about the way his silky black hair fell beautifully on his face every single time. Or how unfairly intelligent he was—or how he seemed just as infatuated with her. How she often caught him staring, talking about her, grinning at her. How beautiful he looked in the sun.
Yet, they were merely friends, right? These feelings, which seemed to come and go since the beginning of their relationship, were transient. They were only merely attracted to each other, nothing else. A small crush, but nothing more. Maybe she did have too much to drink.
“Are you tired yet?” She asked through her blush.
“Yes. Sooooo tired,” he groaned, moving his mouth against her neck. “I need to text Jade.”
She also did not want to think about his kind-of-but-also-not girlfriend. Jade, a 5’2” black-haired Chinese girl with tattoos, was obsessed with him. So much that she forbade him from seeing Cinder because she thought Cinder was trying to steal him at all costs. He broke up with her a month ago, claiming that he never really fell in love and could not see a future with Jade, but somehow he got back into texting her again. Kai swears they’re not together, but they hang out after their policy class and text almost every day. Thorne, his roommate, also swears that he’s trying to end it, but Jade was just persistent and clingy, and Kai, being the empath that he is, felt bad.
Not that Cinder actually wanted him, or anything. Jade had nothing to worry about. “Then go text her.”
“I don’t wanna.” He sounded like a two-year-old. “She’ll just get mad and insist on dating again.”
“Are you not?” She teased, already knowing his answer.
Kai let out a long dramatic groan. “Noooooooo. I don’t want her.” He struggled to puff out air. “I–I never wanted her.”
She had to admit it was kind of fun teasing him like this. He’ll regret his answers in the morning. “Then why’d you date her?” She asked with a smile.
He paused for so long she thought he actually fell asleep. Then, he slowly pulled away so he could meet her eyes. She saw copper brimming with emotion. His lips trembled as if he were struggling to get the words out. After a sigh, he spoke, “because she reminded me of you, Cinder. I always–” Another sigh before continuing, “always wanted you.”
Cinder’s heart froze in her chest. His words didn’t even have time to sink in before he collapsed in her lap, this time falling asleep for real.
And now her whole world was off-center.
Tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @therealkaidertrash21 @cinderswirecutters @cyborgcourt @alsedoesart @asters-28 @sarabankesley @fuck-is-going-on @chronicles-rampion (i'm going to be tagging each new ch so let me know if you'd like to be added or removed <3)
Sighhh I wish I were bored. Rn I have two summer classes going on, both with a shit ton of notes to revise through so that sucks. But I am a youngho thru and thru so I’ve been going downtown practically every day since it’s been hot n sunny out, just shopping and hanging out down there. A little sweet treat and cafe studying. Oh yeah, and I’ve been working on top of all that
But there’s literally sm I want to do, such as post that Cinder art, but I’m just juggling everything all at once and trying to stay afloat
Today I ate a sandwich, but it turns out it was the sandwich of doom and despair cause I literally felt depressed the whole drive to school after. Heavy sighing ensued
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Today I ate a sandwich, but it turns out it was the sandwich of doom and despair cause I literally felt depressed the whole drive to school after. Heavy sighing ensued
