e·phem·er·al

My anxiety is killing me inside. I feel like I am drowning but no one was able to save me. Deep down, I am suffering and yet on the outside I look fine. I stare blankly on the wall. The stillness is comforting and frightening at the same time.

I have longed to have this feeling with someone. I was scared that I would never feel like this again. I thank you for making me believe that falling in love is still possible.

I’ve never felt so alone when I needed you the most.

Love shouldn't hurt, but why does loving you hurt so much?

There are days that I wished that you loved me as deeply as I do for you.

"Instead of receiving kisses from you, all I am receiving are goodbyes."

I thought that I have moved on from you. I thought that I can finally look you in the eye and say "I'm over you". How can I say that to you when I can’t even be honest with myself.

For all this time I have not seen you, my feelings for you still have not changed. I wish I didn't, but I still feel strongly about you. But I know it's not good for me to keep on hoping and waiting for someone that is not ready to be with me. Whether you want to be with me or not, I will always have a place for you in my heart. That's one thing that will not change.

I remember walking out the door in the pouring rain to get fresh air. I felt the cold droplets on my cheeks, and the cold breeze. Suddenly, I felt your presence lingering behind me. And it was you. I didn’t expect you to come after me, but you did. My tears mixed with the rain, but you didn’t notice how happy it made me when you came looking for me. Like rain, you were unexpected. I hated you at first, for ruining my hair and messing my make up but with time, I found out that I was pretty fond of you. And just like you arrived, you left but the sun shining above my head didn’t make me happy at all. Since you were no longer with me, I became rain myself and poured my heart out. What I didn’t know is that storms always come back.

All I wanted was for you to be happy, and that’s when I realised that what I felt for you was more than just feelings; I loved you. I will do anything for your happiness.

You didn’t want to hurt me, but you did. I was falling for you harder than I anticipated and you couldn’t catch me. I will miss you for all the time we will be apart. I hope that you will find yourself and heal. It was selfish for me to want you to feel the same way for me when you clearly not ready. I’ve got closer to you these past few weeks. You can’t just expect me to let it all go just like that. However, I do want it all to go back to the way it was. Where it was all simple, where it was just you and me; I want my best friend back.

I drink to drown my sorrows I want to feel everything Yet nothing at all at the same time I'm not sure what's for better or worse To feel numb or to feel everything I'm still trying to figure out what it could be