downfall

              As the words of clear self-hatred fell from her elder brothers lips, the younger of the two allowed the tears to fall from her face. Her un-beating heart continued to break in her chest as Clark blamed everything on himself, putting so much pressure on his shoulders as he used to do back home. “I shouldn’t have come,” she finally stated, blocking out the rest of his spew, probably able to summarize it anyways. “If I didn’t come here, if I just asked for help elsewhere, you wouldn’t feel this way.” Blaming someone was the only thing she could do in this situation, and with her loving nature she couldn’t bring herself to blame Remi for the horrid life she had forced her into. Instead, here was a newborn vampire who just wanted to rip her own brothers head off his shoulders in order to get to his blood, blaming herself for her struggles. “You didn’t fail me,” she finally shouted, the tears streaming at a steady pace, despite her hatred of allowing herself to cry in front of Clark, wanting to be her strongest self in front of her brother who raised her to be a strong woman, someone that didn’t need to rely on other people to save her. “You raised me amazingly, you are the reason I am still here, Clark. Dead or not, I am still here and ---- and I’m going to figure all of this out, I promise. I ---- I’m trying, I’m trying my best,” stutters echoed around them before the vampire reached towards her brother, gasping for air as she attempted to calm herself down. “Please don’t hate me ----- Clark, please.”

                Despite Natalie telling Cammy that it wasn’t her fault, as she stood across from her elder brother ; the male that raised her like his own child, she could almost feel the reality rushing through her veins that he would have known. He would have been able to see the warning signs and could have prevented any of this happening to his younger sister, but she was too focused on having the comfort of someone that she didn’t see the red flags. It stung as she heard him begin to talk, tear forming quickly in the vampires eyes and moving down her cheeks, leaving a small trail of black behind them as the mascara was taken with each one that moved down to her chin. “It wasn’t your fault,” she choked out, shaking her head quickly. Maybe it was just her love for the male, her ability to look past all his mistakes and focus on the fact that he was the one that put away his childhood to raise all his siblings that caused her to consistently take his side. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you did the best you could with what you had, Clark. You raised us amazingly and it was not your fault for what happened to Beth ; and it is not a bad thing that you left when you did. You deserved a life of your own without us holding you back,” she stuttered over each word that fell from her lips. Pressing her lips together, she shook her head quickly as more tears fell down her cheeks, hands clenching tightly at her sides. Nails dug into her palms enough that blood began to form at the small indents that soon healed themselves, her head shaking from side to side. “You don’t think I don’t want to wake up from this dream?” Snapping wasn’t the best option, but the vampire could barely feel her control staying in tact the longer she stood there. “I don’t just know her, Clark. She ----,” there was a pause before she took a deep breath, saying it was only going to make it more real. “She killed me, Clark. She ----- killed me, and I can’t stop thinking about how -------- glorious it would feel to rip your fucking head off your shoulders right now. I don’t ---- I don’t know how to control this.” 

                 Telling Clark was the one thing that Cammy hated the thought of doing, breaking it to the man that literally raised her and taught her the ways of the world in such a raw way to make sure she wouldn’t make the same mistakes he ever did; to tell him that she basically fell for a vampire that snapped her neck without even thinking of the consequences and left her in the woods for her own survival. To tell him that her hands were covered in multiple peoples blood and her mind was filled with the amount of screams and pleads for her to stop before skin was torn off their bodies and limbs were broken off to make the process faster. Draining innocents, leaving them in piles all the way to Red Creek without a care in the world about her own verdict of being a murderous monster until her hunger was satisfied. The thoughts of the blood pulsing through her brothers body was enough to put her on edge, only wishing that Bea was by her side to hold her back, just enough so she didn’t rip her brothers head off neck and lather herself in his blood to feed the hunger that was making her dead heart pulse in her ribcage. “Something happened,” she finally said in the silence, moving her eyes from the main artery in his neck to his eyes, keeping her distance and even taking another step back for more space. “After Beth ----- the rest of the family was so ----- rude, constantly bringing up your name and dragging it through the mud just because they needed someone to blame and I couldn’t ----- hear it anymore,” she said as her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides, teeth biting at her cheek to keep her focus on the self-inflicted pain rather than the rushing of blood. “I ---- found someone. I found someone and something happened,” she whispered, eyes slowly raising to look at her brother; full of disappointment and sadness on her own behalf. “Her name was Remi Carmikael, Clark.”