The boy in front of you paused, seemingly unsure of where to start—how to start this conversation.

“Look I know what happened last year was my fault.” His eyes were hesitant to meet yours.

“Oh really.” Your tone came out more sarcastic than you would’ve liked, but you were too angry to care. “Because I distinctly remember you being the one to deny the very obvious feelings between us.”

“You’re doing it again.” He starts.

“Doing what?”

“You’re cutting me off before I can even explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Neteyam. Whatever you say now won’t magically change what happened back then.” You could feel tears burn behind your eyes as the memories began resurfacing.

Memories you’d spent countless sleepless nights trying to bury.

The late nights together, the feelings, the close proximity you constantly sought out.

You missed it, you weren’t about to lie to yourself and say that you’re over everything that happened. But you also weren’t about to admit how much seeing him everyday sent a pang through your chest.

Because deep down, you both knew the feelings never fully went away. They lingered. That slow, subtle flame that you couldn’t snuff out—like it was just waiting for you to feed it again.

“Syulang…” Neteyam slowly, cautiously reached out towards you. “Please let me explain this time. Properly.”

That nickname—the way it rolled off his tongue like it was natural and not just a nickname he gave to you one day when you were younger.

Suddenly, you weren’t standing in a cafe, thousands of miles away from home.

Suddenly, you were back in high school with your friends, worrying about nothing but how you were going to spend your evenings together.

“And you guys are sure you can’t stay?” Your arms tightened around your best friend.

The two of you were standing in her driveway, belongings already stored away in moving trucks.

“Believe me, I would.” Her grip on you never loosened.

You knew she would’ve. All of them would’ve. If it wasn’t for Jake getting a work opportunity, the topic of moving wouldn’t have ever been considered.

“Someone wants to talk to you.” She finally pulled away, moving to the side to give you a better view of the boy waiting for you.

Neteyam offered a small smile, nodding towards the park, a silent request to follow him before he turned around and started walking.

He didn’t need to look back to see if you’d follow. He knew you would. You always did.

The walk around the park was calm, filled with your typical banter and flirty remarks. Like your world wasn't about to change forever. Like he wasn't leaving you behind.

"You won't forget me, right?" Your voice came out in a tone so quiet you didn't even know you could manage.

"As if I could." He was quick to flash a smile. That stupid, boyish smile he only seemed to show around you.

"Good." You look away, but he doesn't miss the distant tone in your voice. Like you didn't believe him.

"Hey, look at me." His finger hooked under your chin, gently nudging you to look him in the eyes. “A little distance won’t matter. We’ll still talk every day.”

The sincerity in his tone was enough to convince you. Not like you didn’t believe him before, it just eased any lingering doubts you might’ve had.

“I’ll hold you to that.” You stuck your pinky out towards him—a childish tradition the two of you maintained since you met.

He smiled, linking his pinky with yours before tugging you closer to him. “May I?”

You saw the way his eyes trailed down to your lips before flicking back up to meet your gaze.

“Like you have to ask.” You were already leaning forward, meeting his lips in a soft kiss.

“I dunno, Kiri… Maybe I’m just overthinking things.” Your gaze fell to your phone on the table beside you, the messages between you and Neteyam open on the screen.

You couldn’t even say there were messages between the two of you lately. It was more like your wall of text with his occasional one-word answers. Two if you were lucky.

After a few weeks of this, you’d finally caved and told Kiri about how he’d been quite literally airing you.

So here you were, in one of your bi-weekly FaceTime calls, spilling all the details to your best friend.

“I’m telling you I can ask him about it.” Her pixelated face scrunched up, the frustration towards her brother’s behaviour was evident.

“It’s okay.” You shook your head. “I’m sure he’s just busy with classes.”

She gave you a knowing look. You were making excuses for him and you knew it. Yes, he was busy with classes, but he definitely had enough time to respond to you. If his social media posts were anything to go by.

“If you say so.” You swear you could practically feel her eye roll. “Are you still coming to visit?”

Before Kiri knew about what was happening with you and Neteyam, you had decided to use what little savings you had—with the help of your parents too, of course—and planned a solo trip to visit Kiri and the others.

Yes, you mostly wanted to use the trip to see your best friend, but it wouldn’t hurt to have the chance to talk to Neteyam and figure out what’s been going on.

“Yep! I’m staying for a week with you guys!” Your excitement was practically beaming through her screen

“Don’t focus on the skxawng, okay?” The insinuation was obvious.

You knew she was talking about Neteyam. It had been eating you up inside every day when he’d barely respond to you despite posting elsewhere.

All you could do was hope it wasn’t what you were thinking, and that everything could be cleared up when you went to visit.

“You’re here!” You immediately felt Kiri’s arms around your figure as you stepped out of the gates.

You hadn’t even been in Awa’atlu for more than an hour before Kiri had managed to track you down and pick you up from the airport to take you home.

“Everybody missed you.” Her gaze would flick to you every so often before focusing back on the road, almost like you visiting her after all these months separated wasn’t real.

“Everyone?” She knew who you were talking about.

Neteyam hadn’t said a word since you told him about your visit. In fact, you weren’t even sure he saw your message about it. Complete radio silence.

“He has to know. We went over it during dinner.”

You let out a loud sigh. “It’s whatever at this point.”

It’s wasn’t long before the two of you reached her house. When you entered the house, you were slowly greeted by everyone. Your second family.

Neytiri immediately pulled you into a near bone-crushing hug, missing the child she watched grow up like one of her own.

Jake followed suit, pulling you into a half hug, ruffling your hair.

Lo’ak, as much as he tried to hide it, was so glad to see you after a year apart. You’d been such a normal part of their family life that not seeing you everyday didn’t feel right.

Even Tuk came running up to you, eager to show you her newest addition to her rock collection.

Seeing everyone again felt… right. Like you were right where you were meant to be.

But something—someone—was missing.

Neytiri seemed to notice the way you looked past everyone else, almost as if you were looking for someone.

“He’s out with friends right now.” She offered you a small, sympathetic smile as she rested a hand on your shoulder.

She knew about your relationship with Neteyam. Or at least to the best of her abilities. As much as she tried to, Neytiri never quite understood why the two of you never put a label on it.

You quickly return her smile, hiding the way it obviously stung that Neteyam didn’t even bother to take time out of his day to greet you after the long travel to visit.

Your visit had been rather dull to say the least. Not that you weren’t enjoying the time with your best friend. Kiri definitely made sure your trip was worth while.

She took you to all of her favourite views, the best restaurants, whatever she could think of to pass the hours.

But the fact that you’d barely seen Neteyam despite being under the same roof really didn’t do anything to improve your overall mood.

He seemed to always have an excuse to be out of the house. Work, school, friends, anything he could think of to call out to his parents as he left the house in the earlier hours of the morning.

You finally thought you’d have the perfect chance to talk to him.

A few days into your trip, Lo’ak had told you that Neteyam was inviting some people over for a small house party while Jake and Neytiri went out on a date.

Maybe he’d talk to you in a public setting? Even if it’s just light conversation. It was better than nothing at this point, right?

Wrong.

The whole night, Neteyam seemed to purposefully ignore you the same way he had been the entire week.

If you made eye contact? He’d quickly turn to the closest person or group and strike up a conversation.

If you tried walking up to him? He’d excuse himself from whatever he was doing and go to another room.

It was infuriating to say the least. Kiri was by your side the whole night, watching as her brother blew you off every single time like you two weren’t practically all over each other less than a year ago.

You were ready to throw in the towel, flopping beside Kiri on the couch, drink in hand, accepting defeat that maybe it wasn’t in fact meant to be.

With a loud sigh, you leaned back, barely catching a glimpse of the boy you’d been trying to talk to since you got here.

Neteyam was standing outside on his back porch with a few friends, seemingly oblivious to the chaos inside. Maybe that was your opportunity to finally get more than just a stiff greeting out of him.

“I’ll be right back.” You lifted yourself off the couch, handing your drink to Kiri before walking towards the back door.

Each step you took towards the door had your heart rate spiking. Breathing in the fresh air that trickled through the mesh of the sliding door, you leaned against the frame, debating on the best way to approach the boy outside.

Before you had a set idea in mind, the voices outside suddenly began to clear up, no longer the muffled murmurs you’d heard seconds earlier.

“Dude! Who’s that girl who’s been tryna hang off you all week?” A deeper voice spoke.

“Yeah, ‘Teyam! You’ve been acting weird every time she’s in your space! What’s up with that?”

A pause, then a breathy chuckle.

“Just a friend from back home. She’s here for Kiri.” A voice—Neteyam’s voice spoke.

“Come on, dude. She’s all over you! What’s the secret? First love? Secret relationship?” The boy beside him continued teasing.

You could practically envision the eye roll that Neteyam was giving his friends. “No way bro, she’s just my sister’s friend. There’s nothing between us. She’s practically a nobody.”

So that’s what it was. Now that he had a whole new life, he didn’t need you anymore?

All the nights spent wrapped in each other’s arms, the quiet moments behind the school, the stolen kisses late at night when the two of you snuck out. Suddenly, none of those memories mattered to him?

Time seemed to slow around you as you kept listening to Neteyam talk to his friends. Obviously he wouldn’t have been saying all this if he knew you were listening. But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Your attention snapped to the screen door sliding open, two people entering the house, shooting you a sympathetic look. They knew you heard everything.

Neteyam walked back into the house seconds after, freezing as he locked eyes with you. He knew you overheard him. It didn’t take a genius.

He didn’t even fight it as you dragged him upstairs, away from the chaos of the party.

You didn’t even know what you were yelling about anymore. The back and forth had been going on for god knows how long now. Sure, you wanted to talk to him. But not like this.

“Did I really mean nothing to you, ‘Teyam?!” You were shouting so loud you couldn’t even hear your own thoughts anymore. But you had to, the music downstairs was far too loud to talk normally.

“You’re taking it out of context.” Neteyam pinched the bridge of his nose, voice barely audible.

He didn’t wasn’t yelling. He never yelled. Maybe that’s what made it worse.

“How could I take it out of context?? I heard the whole damn thing!”

“You just-”

“Just what?!” You interrupted him.

“It feels suffocating whenever you keep messaging me constantly. I need space and you just can’t seem to get the hint!” He finally snapped. “It’s like I can’t do my own thing without you nagging. We were never together and we never will be. How long is it going to take you to get it through your skull?”

He finally said it. The words you had been dreading. Ones you thought your brain could only make up to scare you.

All this time, you thought maybe he was just having a hard time adjusting to life away from home. But really, he had already settled in, found new friends. He didn't need you anymore

Neteyam thought he was finally getting everything out of his system, finally freeing himself.

But the look on your face when he finally looked up at you was one that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The look of pure betrayal.

“Syulang wait-” He tried reaching out, but you were already halfway across the room.

"I wish you would've just said that." You muttered as you reached the door, barely looking up at him as tears filled your eyes.

You gave the boy you'd loved for the better part of your youth one last look before slamming the door.

Truthfully, you couldn’t even remember how the rest of that night went. You just knew you booked the earliest flight back hope the following morning, barely even explaining to Kiri what happened between you and her brother.

You didn’t even know if you could face her after being absolutely humiliated like that.

The weeks that followed were silent. You barely answered texts from Kiri and Lo’ak. They obviously knew something happened when you cut your trip short.

Your phone buzzed again. Another text from Kiri, trying to put the pieces together. Because clearly Neteyam wasn't saying anything. So you weren’t going to either.

That was your life for the next few months. Complete radio silence. As if you never existed in the first place.

But you couldn't deny the ache that came every time your parents would bring up your friend.

You'd brush them off every time, claiming that you were just busy with your lives. They didn't need to know your whole childhood was basically shattered while you were out of town.

Yet despite it all, you missed your best friend more than anything. And you knew you couldn't handle if you lost anyone over a stupid boy.

Texting her was hard. Staring at the wall of her messages, dating back to the day you left. All of which went unanswered.

You lost count of how many times you typed out a message before deleting it, each attempt just seemed nothing like you. It didn't feel right. Eventually, you threw everything out the window and pressed call instead.

She picked up on the first ring, listening to everything that spilled out of you. You missed this, missed her. Hearing her voice again made you realize that nothing that happened while you were on that trip compared to your friendship.

It's not like you had to talk to him anyways. But you could be civil for everyone else's sake.

"So no, there's nothing to explain!" You snapped out of your bitter memories, stepping forward into Neteyam's space. "You made it clear where I stood in your life so deal with it."

"It was a mistake-" He started.

"Being friends with me was a mistake? Letting me believe you shared the same feelings as me was a mistake? Kissing me was a mistake?" Everything you wanted to say over a year ago was finally resurfacing.

You wanted this. Needed to hear what he had to say. Anything that would give you the closure you needed to finally work on forgetting your feelings for him.

"No. Eywa, nothing about you was a mistake." His voice raised. Not shouting, but louder than you'd ever heard from him before. "I made the mistake, okay?! I'm the one who let myself lose the one person who understood me best. I hurt you. And I can't get that look you had on your face out of my head."

"Neteyam-" You tried, but he held his hand up, stopping you in yours tracks.

"I finally got us to the point where we were talking like we used to. But I feel like I'm losing you again to someone who doesn't have half of what we have."

You knew what he was getting at. You and Ao'nung had gotten closer as the weeks flew by. And you'd be a liar to say that you didn't feel something with him.

But it wasn't anything like how you felt with Neteyam.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"No you don't. You don't know how he is with girls like you." He continued.

"Girls like me? What's that supposed to mean?" You felt the irritation bubble up. "He's been more genuine that you've been since I got here!"

"But that's the thing, he isn't! He has his fun before pretending like you don't exist."

You were quite honestly done with this conversation. It felt like an endless circle. And you really didn’t appreciate him tearing down one of your friends.

"Whatever. I'm done with this." You turned to go back to the break room.

"I'm just going this to protect you, Syulang." The boy grabbed your wrist, keeping you in place.

"Stop!" You yanked your wrist free from his grasp, turning back to him.

"Back up!"

It all happened so fast. One second you it was just you and Neteyam in the shop. The next, Ao'nung had threw a nasty punch at the other boy. You didn't even hear him come in. But now he was on top of Neteyam, throwing punches that were sure to leave his knuckles aching later.

"Ao'nung, stop!" You frantically shook off the shock and rushed in to separate the two boys.

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