captain hook

Emma turned back around and shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. “Are you sure? I mean you need to grieve and I understand that” She smiled softly and locked eyes with the pirate , hoping that she could at least be some kind of support to her friend. “I am truly sorry Killian okay , I never wished this pain on anyone..” The blonde gave out a short sigh as she tried to break the barrier the pirate had around himself.

“Turns out..” He chuckled darkly, a hand running through his dark hair - “They’re still alive, back at least.” They’d managed to come back from the dead, it should’ve eased his pain - but somehow it didn’t. He was still mad and annoyed - he was still grieving the pain and loss of losing them. 

Frowning at his words, CJ watched her father closely. She had seen him drinking before, but she had never witnessed him so far gone and in such despair that he thought that he was imagining her behind him.

The water taunted her as it calmly washed up against the stones of the docks, the small crashes that used to send her to sleep as it rocked the ship that she called a home, now filled her with dread every time she heard it. A sharper crash of one of the waves made her jump as she tried to catch her trains of thoughts; her head feeling so fuzzy and overwhelmed that she was ready to run to her home and curl up in a ball under her quilt to hide.

“No one coulda saved me papa” CJ shakily informed him, because it was true, she had fallen into the water at a time that everyone was freaking out about the portals and the earthquakes; not only that but she had disappeared to the docks without telling anyone so no one knew where she was.

The smash of glass shocked her and made her jump as a whimper escaped her lips; her arms moving to wrap around her as she tried to keep it together.

“But I should’ve.” Killian spoke, the truth had finally hit him, why his self-hatred was on a higher level than it had ever been. He had let two of his kids die and he should’ve saved them. 

“If yer had anyone else as a da’ he would’ve saved both of yer, and helped Harriet. Any other parent would’ve done the right thin’ an’ been there fer yer all. An’ I should’ve been there for yer, should’ve found some way to save you an’ Harry, cuz that’s my job an I’ve been failing at it me whole life. But just this once it would’ve mattered, if I’d saved ya then, maybe it would’ve made all me other mistakes go away, an’ I could’ve been all yer hero, not for anyone else but ye’ three.” 

This was his drunk rambling at it’s best, but the more he spoke the sober he became and while his rambles has started as him simply trying to express his feelings and thoughts to his imaginary daughter, it had turned into what he wanted and needed. “A’ failed all of yer’s an’ I’m so sorry.” 

The broken glass crushed under his heavy footfall as he took the smallest of steps towards his daughter, eyes red from the unshed tears he hadn’t managed to fall since he’d learned the dark story of what had happened to his kids. “Don’t disappear.” Left his mouth in quiet whimpers, not pirate-like of him at all, but he was at breaking point. This had to be real. 

In fact this had now become his second, nearing onto third as his cup was almost empty, coffee and he might’ve became addicted to the caffeine in it - for some way it tasted better to him than his beloved rum, right now. 

His hook rested on the table, while his human hand brought the mug back to his lips finishing it off, as annoyed, as he was with his own hangover, it was relaxing to be for once in a not-on-the-verge-of-a-freak-out mood. Placing the cup back onto the table, while he moved to get up, Killian was about to pick up the cup once more to get it refilled when he knocked into someone else. “Fuck, sorry, mate.” His calm-ish mood also had him thinking calmly, for once.

“Do ye know what is some sick joke? To think ye actually care about any of us.” She fumed, her heart beating painfully in her chest. Chest constricting making each drawn in breath painful. “Do ye know wha’ I’ve been doin’ with my time pa? I begged the Sheriff to get the Queen to take my heart. I begged her to help me forget to let me follow my family to the Underworld. Then I found a way in. I went to the belly of the underworld. I spoke with Hades who told me Harry and CJ were already returned.“ he could call her cruel. “Hate ye? I love ye more than anything. It’s you who hates me apparently.”

“Calista is alive and well - considering - and currently likely to be helping herself to a bottle of rum from Bael’s bar. I should probably lecture, but am sure Bael will cover tha’.” Harriet sneered at him, dropping the bag filled with her’s and CJ’s things. Turning to face him, she wasn’t a kid anymore and she could go toe to toe with his anger - after all, she inherited hers from him. “Where the fuck were ye when the portal to the underworld open? Where were ye when I was alone? Ye know what, dinnae answer, I can smell it fae here.” She laughed bitterly, like it matter, it mattered as much as she did to him apparently. “Ye should aye. I didnae see him when I was in the underworld, but Hades assured me that Harry made it out with Octupusgob and Prettyboy - and since I work wi’ Prettyboy, I have it on true love authority.”

She saw the curled fist and she scoffed, shaking her head, back teeth grinding as she fought for some semblance of control. Harriet was the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Trying to get through to her pa over and over, and only ever incurring his anger. “I love ye papa, I do. More than ye will likely ever love me. But I cannae keep fighting ye. Yer my papa. So if ye need to swing at me to make yerself feel better. Go for it. But ye better make it count, ye only get one.”

“Ye need to bare in mind, yer not the only one who was hurting.”

Killian was now losing his temper with his daughter, she had thought up this bullshit story in some bratty attempt to hurt him further, to tear him down until he was as broken as she must’ve been. And it was working. His eyes wet with something which was not tears, his fingers pressed tightly into the inner corners of his eyes until the wetness had left and hidden back inside of him. But he left her to rant until she had gotten it all out, the sad pitiful story of how she had somehow managed to travel to the underworld and save her siblings, he would’ve laughed in her face had it not broke another chip away from his cold and dead heart. 

Villains did not get happy endings, and that was the only proof he needed to believe that his children were not back to life, they weren’t back, and they’d never come back. If they got lucky, Milah would be with them, looking out for them as he knew she would do. 

“If yer’ quite done now.” He growled words drawing out slowly, while his hook made home under her chin, dragging her face up until their eyes met, and the anger and hurt which invaded his eyes, he could only guess was replicated within his daughters. “I didn’t need ye’ to tell me how I’ve fucked up, I already know that. I’m the king of fucking things up, haven’t ye’ noticed that yet, I can never make ye’ happy because I’m incapable of that, but don’t ever doubt that I don’t love ye’ cause ye’ and yer siblings, yer the most important to me, an’ that’s sayin’ a lot.” 

His words broke, hook falling away while he took a step away from his daughter, so much he still wished to say to her but he didn’t know the actual words he should’ve spoken. He couldn’t deal with things when they got too much like they previously had, and his instinct is to turn to drink before anything else, because that was his coping mechanism. But he has already failed his children, even if she was telling the truth, he had still failed them. 

This was what he hated. The attitude. The self-assured cockiness that had been inherent in the man before him even when he’d been a teenager, duped into thinking he’d landed on his feet when he was swept up onto the Jolly Roger. Perhaps it wasn’t truly as forceful, no threat involved, but it still made Neal want to sneer at the man who hadn’t changed. It was no wonder Harriet had come by the bar, miserable as all hell. Obviously she’d found him.

The money slammed onto the table was indeed a surprise, but Neal wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Killian could spend all his money here, if he so liked - Neal had no intention of letting the man leave with a penny to his name now. “By all means, waste your money on alcohol. The more you spend here, the more can line your children’s pockets.” Every cent would be spent on CJ and Ettie. Neal had decided. It was his damn bar, he was going to make sure the girls got what they deserved.

Neal rifled through the money on the bench and turned, grabbing a bottle of the captain’s preferred beverage to hand. He pulled a couple of glasses and poured the precise amount. Not the best in the bar - he wasn’t going to waste that on Killian - but good enough that the pirate couldn’t complain. “Now drink and get out. Last thing I need’s you making my staff angry.” The last thing he needed was Harriet coming in for her shift and immediately going off the wall.

His current, and only thought since he stepped into the bar had been to not let anything bother him. Not the looks, or the comments he knew he was going to receive. The town was now crawling with villains who had made lives for themselves, he was doing the same only with revolving his life now around alcohol. Numbing the pain until it would no longer bother him, he had done it with his past love, he would be able to do it again. 

“Aye whatever, ye’ say mate.” Hook grumbled, not caring where his money was going, although he must admit to only himself, but at the mention of his brats kids, it did make him proud, was the correct term maybe? That they’d found a place with someone who was looking out for them, even if it was a stranger. 

In the state which he had put himself into, Hook didn’t care what he drank, he just wanted to get drunk enough that he would feel numb. “How much for the bottle, mate?” He couldn’t help his own cheeky question that came out, a grin equally as cheeky to match. But he did as he was asked of him, for once. And backed the beverage. 

His smile did nothing to her, if anything she thought it just made him look stupid, who needed to smile like that, anyway? “Not unless you want to pay, Gothel’s prices - take what you can get, pirate.” With an eyeroll that followed her words, she took her own swig from the bottle, keeping it out of reach of the alcoholic pirate. 

“Who said I had paid for this bottle? And someone has too, so it might as well be you, Captain.”

Hook’s eyes remained stuck on the bottle that had now been removed from his reach, although he knew he could get it back as soon as he wanted it back. Which he did, he wanted it back. From everything he had already lost he wasn’t afraid to spill extra blood, it would do Gothel a favor as well. 

“Why would anyone want to pay Gothel’s prices. They’re worse than this bar.”

Emma sighed at Killian’s comments and shifted back as she eyes wondered on the hook in front of her. “Woah calm down dude” She gave a short awkward smile as she could see the sorrow within the man’s eyes and it made her heart sunk. The blonde knew she shouldn’t push anything on such a broken man but she truly believed that they could get through this and become good friends.

“I am not going to force myself into your life just know I am here to help..” Emma’s voice became softer before dipping into her jacket pocket and placed a small bottle of rum for the pirate to enjoy.

“I will be leaving now as you wanted..” 

His hook lowered, slowly but his actions still held a caution. An anger. He was grieving, but he was too angry, it wasn’t how anyone had expected a person to grieve. Might as well live up to his villainous persona. Underneath all of the anger though, he was just upset, a broken shell of a pirate he once was. 

His face held a false, light to it - it was the kind that could make one person happy but for him it was nothing but fake. His own way of coping. “Aye, thank’s lass.” He had not expected the rum, but it was gladly accepted. 

“Coming right up handsome.” The witch smirked lightly, shoulder shimmying excitedly. Bouncing up to the bar, she ordered the strongest drink the bar had before running her finger around the rim of the glass, a wordless spell to make it stronger before setting the glass in front of the pirate. “Cheers and good fortune’s pirate.” The witch tilted her glass lightly before taking a sip.

His smile was delicious, and were versed it seemed, hell it was causing a flutter in her chest. But she was a Sanderson witch, and men and Sanderson witches didn’t last very long at all. Ask her own father. He was six feet under, mouth stitched closed. Rowan and Aspen had no fathers to be seen. No, men didn’t fair well with Sanderson witches.

“Fun for whom? The drinker or the person watching thou?” The witch cooed gently; because it had certainly been a lot of fun for her to watch.

Receiving the drink from the blonde, a dashing grin now president on his lips, as he cheerily raised his own glass, a tip of a cheers in the blonde’s direction. Taking a much larger sip than what could be considered a sip, his throat happily burned from the straighten of the drink, he hadn’t managed to find any beverage in this town that could reach this kind of strength, maybe he had to keep the blonde around, she clearly knew some kind of alcohol secret. 

“Aye that -” He paused to take another drink, halving what was left in the glass. “Is good, yer have a great’ taste.” That would be as close to compliment as anyone would get from the Captain. 

Neal was finding he needed to settle down. Finding his former family of sorts here in the form of Harriet and her little sister CJ, not to mention certain other surprises, he knew he had to stay in Storybrooke for at least a while. He needed to make it up to Emma, more than anything else. But that meant finding a job and somewhere to live; he couldn’t just rent at Granny’s for the next few months when there were probably cheaper options.

It was the search for inspiration that led him to the bar he was now trying to clean up. A deal with a dodgy bank clerk (Neal knew the look in his eyes; it seemed Hansel of the gingerbread stories was more devious than he’d been led to believe) and Neal was now the proud owner of Away with the Fairies. Perhaps it was the new arrivals and the trouble they brought with them, or perhaps it was simply relief that things were going back to normal, but the atmosphere was gently buzzing. Pleasant.

At the sound of a voice, Neal turned to greet his new customer and very nearly dropped from shock. The colour must have drained from his face for a moment but it quickly gave way to shock, resentment and a long burning anger.

“Hook.”

He hadn’t forgotten. He’d been sold out, dragged to Neverland and it was largely down to the man on the other side of the bar. But years had also tempered his rage and as much as he wanted it to burn, it was mere smouldering embers. “Best’s probably more than a pirate like you can afford.”

The bartender knew him, which wasn’t all that much of a surprise to the Captain - he wasn’t gloating, but he was known well throughout the realms, being a villainous pirate captain came with a side where everyone would hear stories about him an’ his crew. Not that they were all true, but only a few were. 

“Aye, the great Captain Hook, in yer bar. Ye’ should be lucky.” The cockiness was evident in his words, yet it never held the same flare it had once held, the power that would scare people into never speaking back to him, he’d get back to that part of his reputation once he had his ship and could leave this god forsaken town, and all the curses that came with it. 

Yet, the more he stared at the bartender, the more he held a familiarity which made his heart ache in the most painful of ways.  He looked like Milah. Although, he knew that to be impossible, Bae - the boy he had once tried to make a family with - had been taken by the lost boys, and Hook had never heard of him since. 

CJ was terrified.

She had heard that her father had been spotted and hope had jolted through her as she heard the rumor but then when it was mentioned that he was down at the docks, she had instantly withdrawn and ran before she ended up having a panic attack in front of the goody two shoes towns folk.

CJ didn’t need her sister learning about the attack, it was bad enough when she woke up from he nightmares and woke either Ettie or Ant or both.

But the hope that she could see her father again kept building and pushing at her mind, so CJ tried to push the fear down as she cautiously began to walk down to the docks, her eyes lingering on the ship that she and her sister had lived in the first time she had entered Storybrooke and then she spotted her father. A bottle of rum in his hands.

Why was she not surprised.

“P..p..papa?” CJ called carefully as she spotted that he stood only a step or two away from where she had met her first death, her breath catching as she tried to ignore the water that surrounded her.

The rum was getting to him, had he drank too much for his lifetime, that now he would always be imagining his children around him? Is this the sick cruelty he got from being a pirate, being a villain? The voice he had heard, had been CJ, his youngest, his daughter, taken away from him by the one place he would only consider his only home. If he didn’t turn around, he could pretend she was truly there, that none of his children had left. Or drank enough rum, emptied every bottle until he would always hallucinate his kids around him - it was better than the real life, the alternative. 

“Am so sorry Calista Jane, I should’ve been there, should’ve saved you.” His words were direction the water before him, no idea that his daughter was actually stood behind him, if he did turn around though and finally set his sight upon her, would he believe she was truly there? Or a figment of his highly intoxicated personality. 

“But, ah couldn’t save ya’ not any of ya’s.” Came his grumbled words, another swig of his rum while the anger built inside of his, a side effect of his grief, as well as how angry he was, anyway. Hand tightens around the bottle, a quick spin as he was ready to throw the bottle against the nearest wall but never managed to do it. 

“Gothel can hardly be to blame for leaving her children in charge. Perhaps she decided with her children alive it was time to make amends.” Eyes flashed to the Hook, suddenly it made sense though and she leaned back in her seat, just watching him for a minute, observing.

The Queen of the Underworld leaned forward, extending her hand. “Persephone Thanatos, wife of Hades, and Queen of the Underworld.”

She sipped at her drink before sliding it over to him. “Here have mine, mortal drinks can’t get my drunk anyways; it just tastes like water too me. Might as well go to someone who might actually enjoy it.”

“Aye, but why own a bar if yer jus’ gonna leave yer runts ta run it.” Hook pointed out, choosing to ignore the heart wrenching fact that Gothel of all people; Gothel. Had managed to get her children back, and he was still here avoiding his only one left. 

“Killian Jones, but most people have taken to call me by my more colorful moniker – Hook, Captain Hook.”

“You should be careful down here pa. Dock’s are a dangerous place to be when no in control of your senses. I can’t drag another body from that water. No again.” The pirate scowled a little as she hiked her bag with her’s and CJ’s things higher up her back. She was shaking a little and not from seeing him, or from the chill in the night air; but the last time she was stood on these docks, she was soaked and trying to revive her little sister, unsuccessfully. Perhaps it wasn’t just CJ who needed to avoid the docks for a while?

Harriet could use the break from scarring memories too. She was struggling. Even after her trip to the underworld, cursing out Hades himself, even knowing her family were ok. She’d been alone for weeks. Wallowing in her own grief, begging the sheriff to convince the evil queen to take her heart, make her forget again, to just wipe her mind clean; or send her to the underworld to be with them. Clearly, this new leaf thing was apparently important to the Mayor. What an irritating time to grow a conscience. 

It hadn’t just been CJ, the realisation of Harry having been back through the portal, Anthony. She hadn’t known where her papa was, the rest of her crew scattered and grieving privately. She’d lost everyone. One swoop of the blade and it was as if her own hand had been cut off. Harriet had one proper companion during that time, however briefly - a ten year old kid who refused to leave her alone even with threats. Of course she’d bumped into others - Uma for one, but the altercation was tense, blame lying heavily on both of them, but blaming the other out loud. 

“You should see CJ. She need you, she’s terrified of the water no.” She needed him too. But Harriet couldn’t help but feel like she failed him. She should have saved CJ, she shouldn’t have let Harry go back through that portal. There was a lump in her throat, a reminder to herself to not let herself break, but she couldn’t stop the pained sound as she tried to clear it away.

Hook had heard her voice before he’d seen her. How could he have ever forgotten the sound of his eldest’s voice. It had brought a calm to soothe his madness even if was just the smallest way, yet it also reminded him that once again he had left her all alone. She had lost both siblings and he had left her to fend for herself. Any other father would’ve been there for their child but not him because when he was on self destruct he rather was alone. “Aye, I won’t fall.” Was his only reply to her statement, he didn’t want to think about his daughter’s body in the water. Lifeless. Taken away by her home. 

He froze paused stuck in his spot at the mention of his passed child. Finally being the thing that forced the captain into looking at his daughter after all this time. “Is tha’ supposed to be some sick joke, kid?” Hook spat, venom filled his words and his tone, as he dangerously took a step towards his daughter. “Yer really hate me tha’ much? Wha’ think it’ll get rid of me too?” 

“I don’t work here, but I could always buy you another.” She cooed lightly, a smirk moving to line her features as she watched the man. Nothing brought greater joy to Willow since her memories returned than watching people self-destruct in the wake of the portals and the stunningly beautiful realization of death and despair.

More’s the pity it was children who had perished, Willow had been decidedly testy since the curse lifted. Surely her mother and aunts would appear soon enough and they would expect children to make themselves young and beautiful again - they were obviously going to die anyways, they might have well been useful in doing so. “What has you drinking alone at this time? Hmm?”

Hook was in his element in this town. All these pretty faces, it was just like back when he would sail the open sea, stopping in different realms and only flashing that one much practiced smile would leave them all weak. “That, love, would be wonderful. I’ll have whatever yer’ havin’ but stronger.” He chose then to relax back into the uncomfortable bar chair, and flash his well known smile her way. 

His smile, and charm all these layers Hook had built up above him, since losing his beloved Milah, and then his children. He had to pretend, it’s what the pirate captain had become. 

“You’ve been on the strongest, there is no stronger.” Ginny pointed out, as she passed by the table, barely giving the pirate a second glance - she could smell the alcohol on him, and while the smell had usually been calming to her, welcoming. The amount coming from the captain was nothing less of sickening. Yet still, she refilled the glass with a bottle of her own - seeing as she hadn’t actually been working today. 

“You’ll owe —— Gothel, for that. I’m not actually working today.” She still hadn’t been able to bring herself to call the woman who hired her, mother.

“Aye love? Yer sure, that yer can’t find is anythin’ just a bit stronger.” He flashed her his best charming kind of smile, a one that once women would drop to there knee’s for him. And his charming had worked like a charm his glass was once again refilled, Hook made a quick move of backing the strong drink instantly, the burn not even registering against his throat. 

“I think you have the wrong person love. I don’t work here.” The goddess had seen the man sitting wallowing, he seemed to have troubles. She’d been on her way up to the bar to have a look at their selection. Bar’s were perhaps not the best place for the goddess of spring, their drink’s tasted like water against her tongue and clearly nothing like the nectar of the gods, but she was trying to fit in here in this quaint little town, and Hades was currently working.

“What’s troubling you?” she asked gently seating herself across from him. Did his friends not some back when the link was opened? It was a possibility, anyone killed before the children ended up in her realm had to be bargained for. It was possible that with all the children coming back that, he’d gotten his hopes up. Then again, maybe the issue was his life in this town? She’d heard talks about a curse.

“Aye, seem to be earin’ that a lot ere. Yer’d think by tha’ sound of it. Ne’ one actually works here.” Hook rolled his eyes, hook dragging down the table, leaving a very noticeable line now engraved in the table forever. “Blame Gothel really, heard she left her spawns in control.” Or was it only one? Hook had no idea, nor did he care to find out. 

“Somethin’s troubling me?” Killian was not going to open up to some stranger who looked like she had came from a royalty. Princess’s or whatever she was, would never mix well with the pirate captain.