this garden of eden within these broken bones

Cas’s grip on Everett’s hand was tight, all he cared about now was taking care of him. He laughed a little at his reaction to the bathroom. “Well yes. I’m a mer, we can’t be away from water for too long. Thally had this house built with that in mind, there are pools everywhere. You’ve never even seen my tail have you?” he wondered if it would freak Ev out like it seemed to with some other people. He stepped up to the sink and gently tugged the sleeves of Ev’s shirt up and sighed. “Ev…don’t do this again. Please?”

“ no no i haven’t seen your tail “

but he had wondered. sometimes when it was hard to sleep he’d stay awake and imagine it; whether it was blue or gold or green, whether his prince’s eyes would change like others in the royal family. everett watches cas curiously,

“ would you let me ? “ it’s a quiet question before he sighs at cas’ request. the shadow seelie rubs a hand over his inner wrist, fingers sliding over red jagged lines, the limited space free of them dotted with scars of where ones used to be.

“ cas i.... i don’t know if i can do that . “

“Of course I want to.” Caspian paused for a moment and then pulled his shirt over his head. His torso was covered in scars. “I got these in captivity. I didn’t put them there myself, but now we’re even. You can see mine, so you don’t have to worry about feeling bad about me seeing yours.” He takes Ev’s hand again, pulling him toward one of the bathrooms, which has a full sized lap pool inside that Cas likes to use for exercise. He can also clean them up there.

cas had wanted him to focus on his scars but that plan backfired. ev peels his eyes away focusing only on where their hands are joined in an effort not to ogle his prince’s exposed torso. when they reach the bathroom ev curses under his breath, taking it all in with wide blue eyes.

“ holy fuck — cas you , you have a swimming pool ? in your bathroom ? what the fuck ? that’s — what the fuck ? “

     “ lose the attitude. ” leo said firmly, lips formed into a frown for a moment before the arrogant smirk made its way onto his features again as the demon blooded shadowhunter looked at the halfling with a careless gaze. “ what else do you suggest i do while talking to someone other than looking at them ? ” he asked, tone almost mocking. “ man up. look me in the eye. you look like a bloody deer caught in the headlights. don’t. ” 

ev rises to the challenge, a mistake on his part really, but he’d always been too confrontational; always in bar fights over the tiniest things. famous collinsworth blues give the older shadowhunter a deadened stare.

“ what fucking attitude ? “

he shoots back. internally ev panics, this wasn’t the way he was meant to be with his mom’s partner. it seemed lately he was just committing one mistake after another. but he’d done it now, so it was go hard or go home.

“ sorry I haven’t looked you in the eye old man but you see , there are a lot more interesting things to look at . there’s also a pretty big difference between just looking and watching someone like a fuckin’ creeper . “

the brunette adds, waving a hand in front of Leo’s eyes.

“ do you know the difference gramps ? or is your vision going already ? “

Cas could feel the guilt coming from Ev, he didn’t need to threaten to break the bond, besides he knew Ev would never intentionally hurt him, and it would only make things worse. “Tell me what to do, tell me how to make it stop I’ll do anything I promise.” Right now if Ev said he needed the moon Cas would be already be searching for the nearest rocket ship.

“At least let me clean them. The salt water isn’t gonna feel good unless we’re healed up.” He took Ev’s hand in his gently and kissed his palm.

his only response is a soft ‘ i don’t know ‘ . he was making it stop the only way he knew how, even if the only way he knew wasn’t the healthiest. it’s only as he’s wrapped up in cas that he realises just how tired he is. everything is so draining, he just wants it to stop. everett baulks slightly at the offer, a sudden rush of nerves flooding through the bond.

“ ... are you sure that you want too ? “

     at his words elena was quite confused —- what did he mean by all that ? as far as she knew, everett didn’t even know lily that well, but then again, she had discovered that she actually didn’t know everything about the woman who called elena her ‘sister’ for all those years. “ your lily ? your mom ? ” she questioned, arms around the toddler tightening slightly as she couldn’t really wrap her arms around herself as she’d always do facing things like this. oh well. apparently, lily went and adopted her brother now. way to add to her insecurities when that same woman gave her away to a family that didn’t even lover her instead of taking her in herself all those years ago. “ when did that happen ? ”

he flinches at her tone, the action involuntary. he hadn’t consulted his siblings about the adoption, his father had been more than happy to sign ev away, part of him had been too afraid that they’d happily sign him away too. the other part terrified that they wouldn’t. but from the look in elena’s eyes everett should’ve at least said something. her reaction made sense, at least in his mind it did; she hadn’t wanted him to know they were related in the first place, and now here he comes, barging into her other family, the family she chose. he’s done it again, he’s fucked up again and suddenly it’s even harder to breathe, why does he always fuck up? why does he always ruin the good things? everett takes a few steps back muttering excuses as he tries to make his exit.

“ i - uh , a-a few days ago ? two ? three ? i don’t .... i should probably go ? yeah imma go i have shit - stuff to do ? “