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Jake realized something was off when Norm approached him and told him to go talk to somewhere private. They went to a quieter section of the village, where they could speak without the fear of passerby people hearing.

“What happened?” Jake asked, already expecting bad news. You probably got sick, and your human body didn’t take good to it. Maybe they’d have to take you back to the High Camp or something.

Norm was direct. “She’s pregnant” 

Jake thought he misheard at first, blinking a few times. “What?” He said, mostly just to be sure he heard the words right. “She’s pregnant” Norm repeated, one hand going to rub his neck.

Jake was surprised, yes, but he realized it was something to be expected, well, sort of. The primary suspect on his mind was Spider, after all, it seemed you two were attached at the hip.

Spider was human like you, was your same age and spent almost all his time with you.

Jake’s fingers went to the bridge of his nose, his tail flickering behind him. “I’m gonna kill that kid” He said.

“Jake” Norm said, already suspecting Jake was thinking the culprit was Spider. Now it was the hardest moment, to tell him the full truth.

“I leave them alone for five minutes and-”

“It isn’t Spider” Norm interrupted. Jake freezed for a second, his hand stuck in place before his face turned deadly serious.

“Then who is it?” Jake asked, his mind dreading the possible answers.

Norm looked away, because he had no answer to that question. “That’s the problem” He said. 

“I initially assumed the father was human” Norm began explaining. "You telling me..." Jake said, assuming the worst.

“From what the results gave away, the fetus is showing genetic structures that shouldn't exist in a fully human pregnancy” Norm continued. Jake felt his blood run cold. "The skeletal development patterns are wrong, everything seems wrong"

Jake cursed under his breath, running his hands down his dreads, slightly tugging on them.

"The closest match I could find wasn't human- it resembled some sort of Na’vi-human hybrid” Norm finally said, dropping the bomb.

In Jake’s head, everything faded away, Norm, the distant sounds of the Metkayina folk, the ocean breeze. His brain was doing flips trying to process what he just heard.

“Did she tell you who the father is?” Jake asked after a tense silence. Norm stayed silent, looking away again.

“Norm” Jake said, his tone almost sounding dangerous.

He hoped, wished the kid was from some Metkayina, because the other option made him want to go insane.

But his brain, against his will, began putting the pieces together.

The only Metkayina you spoke to was Tsireya.

The nights you’d arrive late next to Lo’ak.

The lingering looks he often ignored.

The way you two were always too aware of the other.

YOU FORGIVE HIM:

The morning after, you hadn’t even realized you slept ‘till late. By the moment you opened your eyes, you were the only one in the Marui, curled around the empty space where Jake was last night.

There was a small portion of fish and fruits over a wooden plate for you. You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, letting your bare feet on the cold floor let you wake you up. You didn’t feel the need to rush now, after all, you could feel the usual knot in your throat slowly dissipate after last night’s events. 

Ewayn was gone, that was at least one problem.

You silently ate the food, letting the sea breeze accompany you as you softly chewed and swallowed. Then, you fixed everyone’s hammocks, since it seemed Kiri and Neteyam were the only ones who understood the concept of cleaning and you went for a small stroll. None of the boys’ clothes needed fixing, so you decided to take a free day.

As you mindlessly walked down the shore, you found Lo’ak, nearing the edge of the Metkayina village.

He sat next to the shore, fiddling with some rope, practicing knots. His ears moved slightly, sensing your footsteps, even then his eyes didn’t lift up to meet yours, focused on the rope as the water softly reached his feet.

You felt something complicated grow inside you. He was once so small you’d have to constantly carry him with you, and once he learnt to walk, you’d run behind him as he instantly began showing his more adventurous personality- he was like a mirror of Jake.

And here he was now, giving you the cold shoulder.

“Lo’ak” You said, not in a stern or commanding tone. You walked closer. He let out a breath he seemed to be holding, but he still looked tense. 

“Mother” He simply answered. Not mom, or your own name, but something far more formal. “Can I sit with you?” You asked, waiting patiently a few feet away, giving him his privacy unless he allowed you to come closer, after all, you were done with fights.

“You can do whatever you want” He said, eyes flickering once to you before settling back onto the rope- you swallowed down the small ache from his words, after all, you had to put yourself in his place, you had to cross the bridge between you, not break it further.

You put on a gentle smile on your face as you sat next to him. You stared at the sea, at the other Na’vi riding their Ilu’s, a few feet away some kids played in the water, everyone continued their life normally. 

You turned to look at Lo’ak. The knots had turned messier, just like when Ewayn had gone to speak with you, making you mess them up as well- so you could only imagine what was going on his head right now.

The minutes passed in silence, until you decided it was time to finally speak. You softly took the rope from his hands, and began untying the messy knots.

“When you were Tuk’s age, you used to get into so much trouble” You said, a genuine smile forming now on your face at the thought. 

The ocean’s soft waves reached your feet now as you worked on the rope. Your words caught Lo’ak’s attention- his brows frowning.

“It wasn’t everyday” Lo’ak quickly said, defensive.

“It was” You said, working on the rope. “It wasn’t!” He quickly said. You had to muffle a small laugh, realizing that, he quickly looked aside ashamed. But the priorly tense shoulders had eased.

“I remember when you and Neteyam went out without telling anyone… Your father was fuming” You added, stopping with the rope to look at Lo’ak. “The RDA hadn’t attacked us in years, but my mind wouldn’t stop screaming at me that they had taken you both” The confession took a weight off your chest, the memory aching almost to a physical point.

They were so young, Lo’ak, as always the adventurous one, and Neteyam followed him because he never allowed himself to let Lo’ak go to danger alone, even at such a tender age.

You had ridden your Ikran, body tense as you searched for them, Jake and another search party doing the same.

Lo’ak stared at you now- his tail giving small tics as his eyes were on you.

“You had hidden in a cave. You had convinced yourself you could hunt down a Hexapede, and ended up lost. I was the one who found you…” You continued. “You were still proud of managing to shoot an arrow into it, even with those little hands” A small laugh left your mouth at the memory- such a young kid and still always wanting to show how he was able to fend for himself.

“Dad still got mad at me” Lo’ak said, but he wasn’t trying to push you away now.

“I didn’t. I was so relieved I almost felt like I was going to pass out” He didn’t answer, merely turned to stare at the sand underneath him.

You passed him the rope, the knots now fixed. 

“Point is, I know you resent me for my problems with Jake. Yes, I might have allowed fear to win, and that drove me far away from my kids, but something that never changes, and will never change… Is that I have never stopped loving this family” You said as you began to stand up, brushing some sand off your legs. 

“Not for a single day”

…

Lo’ak didn’t answer as you left, but you hoped the small conversation would at least ease things between you. Now, you still had a bit of day left before sunset set in, so you decided to go find Jake. While last night you had “fixed” things up, you knew you still had some things unsaid.

You walked back to your Marui, you weren’t hungry, since you had breakfast late, so you skipped the communal eating.

There, you found Jake once again, he was sitting on the floor cross legged, taking a look at the arrows you brought Neteyam. His rifle was next to him, unassembled, probably he was cleaning it as well.

Jakes’ ears moved slightly forward as you entered, his eyes finding you, his pose stayed the same but you knew how to read him like a book. He was tense.

“Hey” He said as you moved to sit in front of him, your hands finding one of the rifle parts and a cloth to help him clean it, besides you needed something to hold on to for this conversation.

His voice sounded… Cautious, as if he was afraid of saying the wrong thing, after all, the cut on his face was just beginning to heal, and before you had cleaned them Ewayn had been there, her hands on his face. You had to contain the frown forming on your face at the thought.

After a few minutes of silence, you spoke. “There are things i need to say” You finally said, looking at him in the eye.

“Alright” He answered, putting the arrows down, his full attention on you.

You took a deep breath before deciding what you’d say. The ocean breeze softly entered the Marui, giving you fresh air.

“I don’t think you… Understand what happened to me. To be honest, I don't think I quite understand it myself” You began.

Your eyes looked at him, his facial features, his eyes, his dreads falling down the sides of his face. 

This was the man you loved. The one that made you fight for the Na’vi, betray the RDA, carry his children and form a family you’d protect with everything you had.

When did things even begin to go so sour? He went from being your whole world to almost being invisible. The man you almost lost.

“I began feeling invisible… When we arrived to the Metkayina, you were so busy with everything, I slowly began creating a wall. I was hurt from leaving the Omatikaya, from leaving my people, i hadn’t realized i was also losing my family” You finally said, and could see in real time how guilt crept up his face.

You weren’t accusing him, just stating facts.

“It eventually seemed like everyone needed you except for me. It didn’t help that I'd have to go every few days back to the High Camp. I left my children alone, with the flimsy excuse I needed to see my human body. The clan needed Toruk Makto, the children needed their father…. I didn’t know if i even belonged anymore” Tears began blurring your vision, your hands now letting the rifle piece down on the floor.

Jake’s hands slowly went to find yours, his bigger hands gently holding yours. “Baby…” He said, your eyes now going to the floor.

“Let me finish, Jake… Please” You said, your voice slightly cracking.

Your eyes went to where his warm hands were on yours. His thumb softly caressed your blue skin. Your tail was limp behind you, tired, just like you.

“Then Ewayn arrived, and began taunting me. She never was clear about her intentions… But I saw it in her, the need to break me” Jake frowned at the mention of Ewayn. He had spoken to her earlier, while you were still asleep he went to tell her he couldn’t give her classes anymore. 

It was wrong of him to let her aid him last night, knowing you’d arrive any moment. And he was so grateful you had decided to give him a brand new chance.

His eyes looked… Unique. Something you barely got to see in all of the years together. It was as if he was looking straight into your soul, his yellow-ish eyes staring at everything that made you, uniquely you.

The tears began rolling down your face. The realization that you almost lost him hit you, he wasn’t any normal man, or well, Na’vi. He was Jake Sully, the man who always did anything for you, that even when things began going rough he still tried to whisper sweet nothings into your ear- until you pushed him away.

“Then Lo’ak got all defensive… He stopped respecting me as his mother, he wasn’t the little kid playing bird anymore, he was another stranger in my life” The confession tore another sob from you, straight from your inner turmoil. “I tried to ignore those hurtful words, telling myself he was just angry and that it’d pass, that he didn’t mean it…”

Jake’s jaw tensed, yes, he had realized your relationship with Lo’ak wasn’t exactly good lately- and he didn’t even try to correct the boy. He simply would turn the other eye.

Before he could speak you continued. “He called me a coward, that I was running away from this family… He looked at me like i was ruining this family” And there, you finally broke- small sobs turned into a cascade of tears down your face.

Jake quickly moved, closing the distance between you two, pressing your head against his chest as his hands hugged your body. 

“Let it all out, baby” Jake said, his hands caressing your back in soothing patterns.

What else was there to say?

You two stayed there for a good time, in each other's arms, as you wept, your hands holding onto him. 

This didn’t mean everything was finally solved, that you’d return to normalcy, no- but at least it was an honest start, the same chance of a new beginning that was soon to grow inside you in months.

YOU BREAK UP:

You quickly made your way to the Ikrans, Neteyam following you silently- he knew the least you needed right now was to be interrogated. From behind you, Kiri called. “Mom!” But you knew you couldn’t stay there- not near him.

He wanted to be sneaking away with Ewayn? Then you’d get off his way. You had your limits, and your limit was finding your baby girl crying alone and your boys fighting because they couldn’t find him.

Tears kept falling down your face as you got on your Ikran, taking some furs from the bag you had rushed to get your stuff in and covering both you and Tuk, who looked up at you with wide eyes, brows furrowed. “Not now, baby” You said to her. “Everything will be alright” You added, and she nodded, sitting in front of you in your Ikran, letting you cover her from the night’s cold.

Neteyam followed behind you, getting up on his Ikran. You formed Tsaheylu with yours, and Neteyam did the same with his.

Right then, you heard Jake’s voice calling out -thankfully everyone was asleep by now- as he ran towards you. You gave Neteyam a quick nod, and with that, you both flew away.

…

Jake fell to his knees as he saw you, Tuk and Neteyam disappear into the night sky. His eyes went to his own Ikran, but before he could get on it, Kiri’s hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Dad… Don’t” She said, her eyes moving from the figures in the sky down to her father. He clearly wasn’t thinking right, and letting him fly away in this state would only worsen things.

“Babygirl, please- move” Jake said, his voice bordering desperation. Kiri’s hand only pressed harder against him.

“Not like this” Kiri said, and Jake’s eyes looked up at her- Not like this? How was he supposed to react then? That was his mate leaving with two of their children, the eldest and the youngest.

Kiri felt the need to panic deep inside, just like how probably Lo’ak was right now, Spider had gone to find him. But someone had to step up and at least make sure things didn’t go even worse.

“Kiri… Please…” Jake said, his hands turning to fists against the sand, the small sand grains escaping his grasp as his fists tightened.

Kiri had to push back her own tears. “She doesn’t want to see you right now” She said, the words final and brutal, not meant to harm, just meant for Jake to realize it was far too late.

Jake’s eyes closed as he let out a pained grunt- why had he allowed Ewayn to come so close? Right after you two had managed to get on good terms, why had he fucked up again? He didn’t see anything in Ewayn, he shouldn’t have let her go behind him for so long, knowing it only hurt you deeper each passing day.

Kiri had to help him up, and guided him back to the Marui, Jake’s eyes lost on the floor, each step draining him further. All that replayed in his mind was how hurt you were when you found him. 

As they arrived at the Marui, Spider was with Lo’ak, trying to calm him down. Lo’ak’s tail was lashing behind him angrily.

Spider cursed under his breath as Lo’ak’s eyes settled into his father, his energy renewing.

“There you are!” Lo’ak said, completely unaware that his siblings were also missing. He hadn’t seen you leave. In his mind, you probably ran off to the High Camp again, abandoning them.

Jake couldn’t even look at Lo’ak. “Where the hell were you!? Mom was acting all crazy, Tuk was crying, Neteyam and I were running like crazy trying to find you and-” Spider interrupted Lo’ak. 

Lo’ak grunted as he continued, ignoring Spider. “One bad night and everyone loses their minds!” he said, raising his arms in the air. Jake’s shoulders tensed, his eyes set on the floor as Kiri looked up to him with concern.

Lo’ak took the silence as a sign to continue rambling, all his pent-up feelings finally exploding. “Eywa, she looked like someone had died when she came back here- it’s like… It’s like everything just becomes a disaster when she’s around!” Lo’ak said, Spider looking up at him as he stepped between him and Jake.

“Lo’ak, stop” Spider said, even if his human body was barely a match to Lo’ak’s current anger, he couldn’t simply stand there- he wasn’t aware of the full context, but he had seen Kiri’s face and a simple look explained everything to him.

Lo’ak’s tail kept lashing behind him. 

“All she does is cry and make Dad feel guilty! So what if he was training that girl? It’s not like he was doing anything wrong!” Kiri stepped forward now. “Brother, stop” She said, her voice a deep tone which meant she was serious.

“What!? You know I'm right!” Lo’ak said.

“Stop” Jake said from where he was standing, one hand covering his face, his whole posture tense.

Lo’ak finally shut his mouth, finally taking in Jake’s appearance. He frowned, the pieces finally setting in.

“Where is she?” Lo’ak asked, his tone finally changing from anger to something more vulnerable. Jake wouldn’t be acting like this if you had only gone to the High Camp.

Spider looked away, and Kiri looked at Lo’ak, the words simply didn’t come out of her mouth.

“Where's mom?” Lo’ak said- his voice going up a few pitches, his nervousness growing, all rage and anger quickly fading to form a knot on his stomach. Just then he noticed the absence of his little sister and his older brother- his bro.

“Where’s Tuk and Neteyam?” Lo’ak asked again, eyes darting between the 3 people in front of him. No one answered.

Jake’s eyes met Lo’ak’s, tired meeting scared. “No” Lo’ak said, voice breaking- last thing he did to you was hissing, as if you weren’t the reason he was brought into this world in the first place.

“They left” Jake said, voice hoarse and tired. “What do you mean they left?” Lo’ak said, suddenly his own body felt like some sort of trap, his ribs squeezing his lungs too tight, as if the air had dulled out.

“Where?” Lo’ak asked, this time his eyes meeting Kiri’s. Her eyes were glassy, as much as she tried to swallow it down. “Mom took Tuk, and Neteyam followed her” Kiri said, the only option left being filling in the context, as the question “Where?” Was something not even she knew.

Lo’ak stood there, frozen, his ears drawn back, his tail stiff in the air.

All he could remember was how you had seemed to fix things with Jake- the other night, when you arrived to eat together at night, how you had even returned to sharing the hammock. “She’s just being dramatic” Lo’ak quickly said, trying to fool his brain.

“She’ll be back tomorrow, complaining about the long ride she had” Lo’ak continued speaking, words coming out without really being thought out.

He could picture it out of desperation, you arriving with Tuk in your arms, Neteyam following, you had probably gone for a night ride. There’s no way you actually left.

Because as much as he told you you had abandoned them -or him?- his worst fear was becoming true. You had actually abandoned them.

And the last thing he did was hissing and storming off, even as you called him baby, as if he was still a little child who sought his mother, when in reality he hadn’t looked for you in a long, long time.

Everyone stood still, no words were left spoken.

Lo’ak’s eyes went to the Marui’s entrance, almost expecting you to walk back inside. You always came back- he never acknowledged it, even after the worst discussion with him or Jake- when the rumors about you became too much, you always came back with some sort of gift from whatever clan you visited on your trip.

“She’s coming back” He repeated. Not “Them” this time- just you. He knew his siblings would be fine, but what about you? Tuk and Neteyam would come back, but the worst part was he wasn’t even sure you’d do the same.

Kiri looked away, and Spider looked at the floor.

By now only Lo’ak was talking, everyone seemed to simply let him finally realize things by himself.

His breathing became quicker, images in his mind flashing one after the other.

When he’d spend all day with Tsireya after Jake got pissed at him, only for you to always wait awake until he was back safely, his hammock already with a pair of furs for him to not be cold at night.

When Ao’nung and him got into a fight, and there you were, patching him up just like Neytiri had told you to do.

And these last few weeks, every cruel word directed at you, every time he walked away from your open arms, every time he blamed you for the family’s problems.

“She… She doesn’t deserve a son like me” Lo’ak said, without even realizing. He felt devastated- his shoulders began to shake, his eyes going blurry with tears. Jake’s eyes met Lo’ak’s trembling form, and he took a step forward, fatherly instinct overriding the current pain.

“I kept saying those things” Lo’ak admitted. He almost always said them to Jake’s back, knowing Jake would be pissed if he heard him.

Jake took another step, giving Lo’ak time to step away if he wanted. “What things?” Jake asked.

Lo’ak frowned. “Shit- everything, weak, coward… That she was ruining our family” His hands turned into fists. There was something else he had told her once, something he couldn’t bear to acknowledge now.

“Dad is miserable because of you”

More tears fell down his face at the memory. Even that day, you had waited for him to come back- but your eyes were tired. Neteyam had scolded him, but he was so angry at you always running away, he couldn’t control his words.

“She called me baby and I hissed at her. Before leaving” Lo’ak said, his eyes finding Jake, who was standing in front of him now.

Jake was tense once again, Lo’ak could see it, he was pissed. At just finding out now- of letting this go through so long.

Jake breathed in, and Kiri thought for a minute the usual Jake would break in, always scolding Lo’ak for everything.

Instead, Jake reached for Lo’ak, pulling him into a hug.

Jake realized how badly Lo’ak was suffering right now- screaming, yelling, punishing would only make things worse. Right now the boy needed his father.

…

A few months passed by. A good pair of months, to be honest. Your stomach grew into a nice round shape, you began eating for two, and Neteyam helped you, Tuk spending most of her time using her hand-made body paint to paint your stomach, giving you name ideas, even when none of you had any idea what gender the baby was to even begin with.

You had first gone to High Camp. There, you spent a few nights until Norm managed to get you a small spot on a nearby forest clan. And you made him promise he’d take care of your human form, after all, you didn’t have the time to be moving around so much, especially with your children following you and a third one steadily growing inside you.

This clan was nice, they didn’t know much about you, as you left things vague purposefully. But they trusted the resistance, and therefore, they took you with open arms.

For a while, you got used to it. Neteyam began helping the other young men there to hunt, and Tuk also joined a group of children to play and learn, and when she wasn’t with them, she was stuck to your side.

You’d help the clan’s Tsahik, gathering herbs, weaving, and overall doing as much as your pregnancy allowed you to.

You had arrived from a long day of assisting wherever you could help, as being busy avoided making you overthink too much about Jake and your other children. Were you a bad mother? Just as the thought crept in, Tuk’s voice interrupted.

“Sit!” She said, pulling your hand inside the Marui, pulling you down on a woven mat.

“Tuk!” You said with a warm smile. You had to hold in back a laugh as her big eyes stared at you finally on her eye-level as you sat down.

As you sat comfortably, Tuk instantly moved next to you, a smile growing on her face as her little hand placed over your stomach. The baby had been more active lately, occasionally giving a few quicks here and there. Hey, as long as it didn’t kick you right in the bladder you were all good- least you needed right now was to piss yourself.

“Are they listening to us?” She said, looking up at you, her tail moving curiously behind her.

“If they are, they must be tired of hearing you talk all day” You said, laughing at her reaction. Tuk gasped, offended. “¡Impossible!” She said, her other hand also going to your stomach, almost as if waiting for an answer from her unborn sibling.

And as if on cue, the baby kicked, right under Tuk’s hand. She smiled. “There! I knew it! They’re listening to me!” She said, pressing her ear against your stomach.

“Hi baby, I love you!” She said, laughing. A real smile crept up your face, one you didn’t even realize was on you right now.

…

Of course, you couldn’t stay there forever. This was a temporary break from all the drama- one you desperately needed. And as much as Tuk enjoyed being back on the forest, she did miss the Metkayina reef.

She began asking small questions to Neteyam. “Have you heard about Tsireya? Is Ao’nung still annoying? How’s Kiri?”

Then, she began asking about Jake. 

“Do you think dad misses us?” She asked Neteyam at night, you were fast asleep, and Neteyam didn’t know how to answer. The answer was an obvious yes, but he had to speak with you first.

So a few nights later, when you were sitting outside the Marui, cutting some fruit slices, he sat next to you. You cut a slice and handed it to him with a smile. “Eat, I can't have my warrior starving himself from working all day” You said.

“Tuk wants to go back” Neteyam said after a few minutes of silence as you ate a fruit. You paused your snacking, and turned to look up at the sky. You already knew it, she wasn’t exactly subtle.

“I miss them” Neteyam added. And now you turned to look at him- you missed them too.

Kiri and the deep conversations you two had about girlhood and her special connection to Eywa, Spider always complaining about wanting to get an Avatar just like you, and Lo’ak… Those little times where you’d watch him from afar, with a soft smile on your face.

Jake. Of course, he’s still your mate, you assume. You’re not sure if the idea makes you feel better or worse.

Truth is, you hated how much you missed Jake. That single evening you two rekindled the flame, where all problems were set aside as you put yourself on his lap, how afterwards he intertwined his tail with yours, his fingers wrapped around your hand as he proudly walked next to you… Only for then to find him with Ewayn.

“You don’t have to forgive anyone” Neteyam said, noticing your silence. “But mom… The baby deserves a family too. And I… Miss dad”

You let out a small, weak laugh. Of course, it’d be selfish for you to keep them more time away from their family.

“Besides, you know he’s probably miserable” Neteyam said, another laugh escaping your mouth, louder this time. “Neteyam! That’s your father you’re talking about!” You said- he’d very occasionally throw in those jokes, as he knew he had his reputation to maintain. It was a little secret shared between you two. 

You rolled your eyes and Neteyam softly laughed, receiving another fruit slice from your hands.

And there, you realized it was time to go back.

By next morning, you had packed back up your things, and as you thanked the Olo’eyktan for taking you in these months, Neteyam prepared the Ikrans. After a few hours you were on your way back to the Metkayina territory.

Oddly, the flight felt much shorter, it was morning, and the sun kept the cold at bay as you reached the coast.

Before getting on the Ikrans, Tuk had been inseparable from you, whispering things to your stomach excitedly. “Guess where we’re going?” She said with a smile, her tail excitedly moving behind her.

And now, the turquoise sea of Awa’atlu was in sight, each minute only growing nearer. Tuk was the first to comment on it, as she was with you on your Ikran- “We’re home!” She said, turning to look at you with a wide smile.

You smiled back at her, but deep inside, you didn’t exactly feel joy. You knew things would be awkward. After these peaceful months, you weren’t sure coming back here felt like coming back home.

As both Ikrans descended, a bit of a crowd had formed, the Metkayina staring at your arrival- Ronal stood in the middle, giving you a judgemental look, Tonowari next to her, opening his arms at your arrival.

Tuk was almost vibrating with pent up energy as you shared a few words with the Tsa’hik and Olo’eyktan, and the second you were done, Tuk had run away. Neteyam, who was standing next to you, went after her.

As the crowd began to disperse, a familiar voice called for you.

“Mom!” Your eyes widened as you turned, seeing Kiri. She was running, Spider following close behind. You opened your arms as she finally closed the distance, hugging you- your stomach was a bit in the way, but you couldn’t care less. This was your babygirl.

“On the name of Eywa, don’t do that again” She said, her face against your shoulder, your arms hugging her back. “I missed you too, Kiri” You said, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

Spider stood behind Kiri, his eyes going from you down to the sand, then to the Metkayina already dispersing. “Hey-” You interrupted by grabbing him and also pulling him into the hug. No need to act nonchalant now, you missed all your kids.

Then you felt a pair of eyes on you. Your eyes moved up, and found the yellow orbs you had spent so many years staring at. Jake.

You softly let go of Kiri and Spider, who noticed Jake behind and quietly moved away.

He looked tired, probably from everything that had happened. His eyes were fixed on your now fully formed pregnancy bump.

You took a few steps forward, feeling the sand under your feet, your tail cautiously moving behind you. “Hey” You said first, your eyes more gentle now than the last time you two spoke.

“Hey” He said back, one hand going up to the back of his neck. Probably it was the fact you spent so much time away from the other, but you couldn’t help but notice his biceps flexing as he did that.

“Hey there” You answered, stepping even closer. Your tail wrapped around your leg shyly. Jake’s eyes went from your eyes down to your feet, taking in every detail that had changed since you had gone away.

“You look good” He said, tilting his head.

You knew exactly what he was doing- those head tilts, the same ones that had driven you two to that first encounter in the lab.

And suddenly all past hard feelings were gone, and you felt your face slightly heat up.

But before you could answer, the moment was shattered as Lo’ak approached you, his eyes already promising a storm. “You actually came back” Lo’ak said, but there was no warmth in his tone.

The warmth in your gaze faded away as you turned to look at your son. You knew this would be the hardest part, him confronting you.

His tail lashed behind him, and you could see the hurt and betrayal in his eyes. Months of feeling abandoned, wondering where you had gone, made the sadness turn back into anger.

Kiri, who was about to leave with Spider, stopped on her tracks, her hand leaving Spider’s.

“Lo’ak” Jake said as a warning. You were here now, he didn’t want you to leave again. “¡No! You leave for months, you left us all behind!” Lo’ak said, taking steps towards you, his ears drawn back.

Spider stepped forward. “Bro-” He said, trying to calm down Lo’ak, to no avail.

“Lo’ak, baby…” You said, unsure of what to even do or say now- he was right after all. You had been selfish.

“A real mother would have stayed” He said, and you froze. Your tail freezed in the air, your ears went down, your eyes widened, your hand went to your pregnant stomach, almost as if preventing the baby from somehow hearing those words.

“You left us… You left me!” He finally admitted. “You’re a coward” He added.

This time, Neteyam stepped in, standing between you and his brother. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Neteyam said, turning Lo’ak’s anger to him so he’d stop hurting you.

“There we go, the perfect soldier” Lo’ak said, rolling his eyes.

“Both of you, quit it” Jake said, giving you a last glance before walking towards the siblings. Last he wanted was for the whole clan to hear his family problems. Lo’ak hissed as Jake guided you all to the Marui, there, you’d all have a good conversation- but one thing was clear. He wouldn’t let you go again, not after thinking you were gone for good.

The walk back to the Marui was awkward and quiet. You walked next to Kiri, holding her hand- her mere presence always made you feel more calm. 

The only sounds present were the footsteps on the walk through the Marui’s and the sea, some distant Metkayina voices as well.

Your free hand was over your belly, fingers splayed over the bump, feeling the small movements of the little creature growing inside of you.

Jake avoided looking back- because he was well aware that Kiri was a soothing presence next to you- a few months back that would have been him. And the thought only complicated things.

As you all entered the Marui, the tension was heavy, a weight on everyone’s shoulders. You sat on the floor, Tuk -who at some point joined you on the walk back to the Marui- sat next to you, leaning against your side, your hand going to her shoulder to gently hold her.

Jake kneeled, Kiri sat next to Spider, and Neteyam imitated Jake’s posture on the free side next to you, the only one standing up being Lo’ak.

Jake looked at his son, giving him a silent command to sit down- which Lo’ak ignored, his eyes going to you instead.

“You didn’t answer, mom” Lo’ak said, his ears moving back, his tail once again moving erratically.

“Weren’t we enough?” He said, and you looked down at the floor, ashamed. You knew it was bad of you to leave them behind- but he had to understand you had your reasons. He sounded wounded- and that made your chest hurt, right in your heart. He was right- you were a coward.

“I was angry, and wounded” You said, trying to find the correct words, taking a deep breath as your eyes got glassy.

Lo’ak didn’t answer immediately, his tone lowered, and he looked straight into your eyes. “You think I wasn't? Every fight, you’d take your things and leave, but now it took you months to even come back”

“Lo’ak” Jake said, but you motioned for him to not interrupt. As much as it hurt, Lo’ak was right. You abandoned them, didn’t even visit on your time away, you separated the family, because you were scared.

The fight had been between you and Jake, yet you still made your own children pay for it.

“You left and you took Tuk and Neteyam” Lo’ak continued- but his tone wasn’t hostile anymore. His voice cracked. “I thought… You didn’t want me anymore” He admitted, his eyes just as glassy as yours.

Lo’ak looked away, as if the vulnerability he just showed was a physical wound he didn’t want you to see.

You began sobbing. “Oh, my baby” You said, standing up, even as your back complained. You went towards Lo’ak, who was barely holding back his tears, his hands turned into fists as he stared at you approach him. But before his mind could decide between stepping back or forward, you hugged him.

“Don’t be- don’t be stupid” You said, holding onto him. “How could you ever think I don't want you?”

You weren’t hugging the warrior in training, the boy who always got into fights, no, you were hugging your son.

Perhaps, now both of you could forgive and move on.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

notes: hi there! so, my tiktok feed is now 99% Avatar content lol, so i got motivated to write the second part of this lil' one shot, since i got a looot of requests to continue it n.n

You always had everything growing up.

You could never say you lacked anything- from a warm bed, three meals a day, and as many things as you could ask for.

Except for love. Your parents never were the loveable type, always keeping a distance even between themselves- while you read princess stories, all you had in home was distant glances from the people you called family.

You didn’t even have any siblings to share with, all you had was Minnerva, Minnie, for short- your pug. A fat, loveable thing that followed you everywhere.

You could live with that- after all, you began going out much more instead of locking yourself all day in your room. Everything changed when you met him- Jonathan Joestar.

Dark blue hair, eyes like the sky, brave like a soldier from the stories you read. You were about 12 when you two met.

You were being bullied by some goons, them taking one of your novels as you read under a tree, tearing its pages and making you cry, calling you insults, and how you were just rich trash, Minnie barking behind you, her structure not making her suitable to defend.

Then he arrived, out of the blue- of course, they beat him up, but at least they didn’t finish breaking your book. When you went to help him, he swatted your hands away, talking about how it was a gentleman’s duty to protect a lady. You were too shocked to even ask his name, coming back to your senses when he had already left, picking up his handkerchief and realizing who he was.

Jonathan Joestar- son of George Joestar. Your parents had talked to you about the patriarch of that family, he had wealth for generations, and a heart of gold.

Minnie gave your hand a small lick as she let out a soft whine at the smell of the blood on the handkerchief, you gave her head a few pats before standing up, watching the blue-haired boy slowly disappear from your eyesight.

…

Days turned into weeks, and weeks to months- before you even realized, it had been years of your friendship with JoJo.

You and JoJo met weekly, sometimes under the same tree, other times by the river for a swim.

You liked JoJo, it was something you realized soon after becoming friends. He was thoughtful, considerate and a true gentleman. He always remembered things about you, like your favorite novels, how much sugar you put in your tea and how many treats you gave to Minnie in one day.

You were fifteen when things changed.

You were under the tree you two met, you reading as JoJo carved something into the tree’s trunk, you reading the novel out loud for him.

“That sounds terribly sad” He said, finishing his work and sitting next to you, as you had just finished reading. The novel had a grim end, about two lovers that never managed to be together. 

“It is, but at least their love was genuine” You said, closing the novel and looking curiously up to what he had carved.

First your ears went red, then the rest of your face. Your initials on a heart.

“JoJo!” You said, completely red faced, using your book to cover your flushed face.

But even as you complained that day, your mind imprinted on itself the image of what he had carved.

Things changed from that day- stolen glances were mutual, or how he’d get red whenever you whispered secrets to his ears, like when Minnie stole a whole bread roll and you had to blame it on yourself. With JoJo, it was natural, the laugh, the feeling of love.

It was warm on your chest, butterflies on your stomach, a feeling that left you always wanting more, to the point where you even began taking novels with happy endings whenever you saw him, just to see him smile when the ending meant with the two characters finally together.

Eventually, you met what would become your cage. Dio.

You and JoJo were walking after a long day of being in town, when another boy your age came into view.

He had golden hair, sharp eyes and pale skin. “Oh! That’s Dio!” Jonathan said, giving him an excited wave. You knew that name- even if you had never interacted together. Dio Brando. George Joestar 's adopted son. You knew the rumors that surrounded him.

A friend of yours mentioned how she saw him kick a stray dog once, or how he used to treat JoJo when he was first adopted- the thought making you feel uneasy.

“Dio, this is-” JoJo tried saying, only to be interrupted. “I know who she is” Dio said in a carefully constructed tone which made a shiver run down your spine.

His voice felt… Weird, not bad, or anything that could catalogue it as such. But something in your mind was warning you about this boy. 

Then, he smiled, his eyes going from your polished shoes up to your dress, and then to your face in a way you wanted to squirm away from it. The smile made you more unease- it looked almost like a mask.

“JoJo speaks of you rather often” Dio said, standing in front of the two of you. A faint blush appeared on your cheeks- nothing compared to JoJo’s now beet red face.

“I do not!” JoJo said, avoiding looking at you.

“You do” Dio answered, his gaze still firmly locked against yours.

Being close to both of them, you noticed their contrasting natures. JoJo was beautiful in the way a sunset was, warm, full of life- and Dio was more like the beauty of a recently sharped knife.

The thought remained stuck in your head for a long time.

…

You were walking down an isolated path one evening, the sunset giving you a soft warm feeling. Tomorrow you would see JoJo, and you’d go swim in the river, a small smile and blush crept up your face as you stared at a small rock you were kicking. 

Until someone stepped on the stone. You looked up, finding Dio, a small frown formed on your face.

The sun was behind him, bathing him in an ethereal glow that made a knot on your throat- you never bought this whole good facade of him.

“You seem happy, going to see dear JoJo tomorrow?” He said, his tone dangerous. This wasn’t a random encounter, and you knew that. He had been waiting for you.

His shoe kicked the rock to the grass, making you take a step back he quickly diminished by stepping forward into your personal space. 

“What exactly do you want from me? JoJo is my friend” You said, frowning- you looked at the path in front of you, no one was near. You felt like a cornered rabbit.

“Yet you look at him as though you’d like him to be more” He answered, making your face go red between anger and embarrassment of being read so easily. Your mouth opened but no sound left- what could you do, deny the claim? You couldn’t lie with something like that- specially since your feelings were filled to the brim towards JoJo.

Dio’s face morphed into satisfaction at your reaction. 

“Do you know what I think?... I think JoJo would never take what he wants from someone like you.” He said, and his eyes roamed your body with an intensity that made you feel physically nauseous.

There wasn’t desire, or lust in his eyes- it was something worse. It looked like ownership. Like branding an animal.

Sensing the danger, you tried to push past him- but his hand grabbed onto your wrist, hard, his strength nothing compared to anything you’ve felt before.

“Let go!” You said, trying to pry yourself from his grasp, his hand only tightening around your wrist until it hurt.

“But I am not Jonathan” He said, and pulled you towards him, his lips meeting yours. Your eyes widened and tears filled your vision, your free hand going to his chest in order to push him away, his other hand quickly grabbing it.

Tears now fell down your cheeks, softly landing on your clothes after going down your face.

Your first kiss. You had planned it- it would be with JoJo, under a sunset as pretty as this one.

But he wasn’t JoJo, and now there wouldn’t be another first kiss.

…

In the weeks that followed, people treated you differently. As if you belonged to him. Dio.

Jonathan- not JoJo anymore, you lost the ability to use his nickname after that fatidic kiss, became a ghost in your mind. It was near impossible to find him now. You were tied to something you repulsed, and worse? You couldn’t even fight back.

You saw his strength that day, and you were scared of what it could do if you retaliated.

You couldn’t do much except be quiet, and sadly, it only fueled the town’s rumors. Somehow word spread that you were now being courted by Dio, and of course, you couldn’t bear to speak now, it was too late. What were you supposed to do? Your parents were finally happy with you, since Dio was highly respected. 

He wouldn’t truly pay any sort of attention to you- only when necessary, like rubbing salt on a wound, locking your cage as you couldn’t do anything but watch from inside.

You learned very quickly that your words didn’t matter anymore. What once were loud laughs with Jonathan now was nothing but quiet glances with Dio, filled with hate and fear.

Poor Jonathan- you could see it in his eyes, whenever he greeted you from a respectful distance, you could easily see his torment. He had fought so hard to finally have a good friendship with Dio, and he was torn whether to fight or simply stand back, but it was too late to fight now, even George seemed excited about Dio’s future with you, completely unaware of the special bond you had with his other son.

…

Years showed no mercy, time never slowing. It was as if you saw yourself in third perspective, your only escape now being your novels. Your little act of rebellion was to read and re-read the ones you used to share with Jonathan, a little secret of yours Dio hadn’t found out. Or maybe he did, and merely allowed you that out of the mere satisfaction of knowing you were only suffering more with each page.

You were 18 now. You had grown into “quite the lady”, as some older women said, since you wore your quietness as a veil. Rarely you spoke, only when strictly necessary.

Dio enjoyed that part a lot. He had once again outsmarted JoJo. With the years you became compliant and more like a doll than a human being.

Today, you had been invited to the Joestar’s manor, apparently there was some sort of social gathering, even your parents attending such a thing. You stood next to Dio, in your usual quietness.

You had noticed something about him. He had always seemed charming on the outside, but you knew better- yet, it was as if something was unraveling inside him. It all began when Minnie went missing.

She was too old to run away, and too fat to even consider said activity- yet one day after you refused to go out with Dio in order to spend time with her, she disappeared- left without a trace. Your parents insisted maybe some other creature got her, but you knew Dio’s stance on dogs.

You didn’t want to believe such a thing, how could someone be so cruel and heartless?

One of your friends insisted she saw him at night alone- drinking and attacking some homeless drunk. That she thought it was somebody else, after all, Dio was extremely respected! How could one man have so many faces?

Dio’s hand placing on the curve of your back snapped you back into reality. Right. The social gathering.

It felt so weird to see so many people here, all blessed with exorbitant amounts of money, completely indifferent to how the people in the lower side of town suffered. You felt uncomfortable, the feeling becoming worse after you saw Jonathan’s dark blue hair walking across another room.

“He still thinks people are rewarded for loyalty. For honor…Pathetic.” Dio said. He didn’t bother hiding in his mask in front of you, you were practically an obedient pet by now.

You knew what he meant by that comment. Jonathan had always thought goodness mattered- something Dio didn’t even bother trying to believe or try.

You lightly frowned, keeping your mouth shut. George Joestar was talking to your parents- but he looked… Wrong. His skin was pale and his hands had a light tremor. Dio didn’t even bother mentioning it to you- you only realized about a week ago you came to visit.

From that time, in which you had a small pleasant chat with him, he told you he had gotten skin with something still not discovered, that he had been given medicine, but it was barely starting, and he had hopes it’d get better. The moment he mentioned Dio even helped give him his medicine, you felt a shiver run down your spine, forcing a smile as your mind drifted off to the worst thought.

He wouldn’t- right?

A stone mask sat on Jonathan's desk. A stone that’d mark the end and the beginning at the same time, question is, what will your role be?

...

You wanted it all. Of course, how could you not?

You were… Perfect-

Your body was a canvas full of perforations, scarification and paint. You pierced each one in front of Varang, all alone in her Kelku- letting her lick the blood off your ashy skin as the metal and bone penetrated your skin.

You cut the kuru’s off of the weaker ones that dared to challenge you for your place next to Varang. You had lost fights once, before she had put her eye on you. 

From then on, you swore you’d never lose again. All for her, for her fire.

And you were in fact, rewarded for your strength.

Not softness, more like the warmth of feeling fire under one’s fingertips, of choking back whimpers as it burns your skin.

You didn’t need Eywa, all you needed was her, burning your skin.

—

Your ears flicked back as you stared at him. Varang’s mate, Quaritch.

That should have been your spot. Years of fighting and chasing after her, yearning to feel her tsaheylu in a way that wasn’t for punishment, and in a few days he came and won that spot.

Passion is dangerous, it makes one act in stupid ways. Same stupid way that made you follow him into the forest, crawling through the branches with nothing but your obsidian blade in hand. You never learned how to use one of the rifles the RDA brought- and didn’t bother learning to.

You waited until his squad left, all scattered around the forest, and he was right underneath the tree you were perched on.

“You’re loud, Princess” He said, catching you off guard, making you slip.

Your ankle twisted making you lose control, and you went down.

You hit yourself against a few branches and then landed on your back against the dirt, your air kicked out of you.

Your lungs ached and burned as you hit the floor, but the instant thought of failing so miserably in front of him burnt deeper than any physical pain could.

“You have guts, I gotta’ admit that. A damn shame you’re still a blue monkey” He said, looming over you, one hand over his gun as he stared down at you.

You had no idea what a monkey even was- but you assumed it was an insult. He sure had a lot of guts insulting you when you two looked the same race. You had to think quickly on what to do. Your dagger was too far too reach, and your ankle felt on fire, the smallest of movements making you choke back a whimper of pain.

Your ears flattened as you hissed at him, brows furrowing as you got up on your elbows, the added pressure of the rope tightly binding your breasts doing little to ease the pain from the fall.

Unbothered, he kneeled next to you, stretching to grab your blade. “Veteran 101, you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, even that bastard Sully knows it.”

His gaze moved over you with little shame, from your sprained ankle up to the way the rope barely hid your areolas from him- nudity wasn’t something explicitly sexual for the Na’vi, but you had learned quickly from the RDA pink-skins that had gone to bring guns for the Mangkwan that for them any inch of skin could be seen in a more depraved way.

“Does Varang know you’re out here embarrassing yourself like this?” He said, his eyes meeting yours.

That did it- ignoring the sharp pain igniting your body, you lunged at him, trying to retrieve your dagger from his larger hands.

 “Gah!” You screamt as you awkwardly pounced over him, your tail lashing furiously as you tried to push him off balance.

But he clearly had the advantage, one hand shooting up to your neck and directing your body to the floor, once again knocking the air out of you.

You loudly groaned in pain, fangs blared as your hands went to his on your neck, not choking you, but keeping you down. “Stay down” He said with a stern tone.

Your sharp nails dug into his wrist, scratching and trying to get free, squirming even as your body ached.

His other hand moved to your face, roughly grabbing your cheeks and keeping your head still, completely ignoring your hands raking violet lines on his arm.

You hissed again, earning a laugh from him. “Thought you were supposed to be her best- from here you look like nothin’ but a brat who needs a lesson” He said, squishing your cheeks under his fingers, the feeling of his extra finger odd on your skin.

His hand let go of your face and moved to grab the dagger, raising it up in the air, his other hand on your neck tightening, a silent warning for you to not move.

“We can do this the easy or hard way, Princess”

But you’d be damned if you ever listened to someone who wasn’t Varang. Your tail lashed angrily under you, and you hissed as you dug your nails into his skin as deep as you could, a silent protest- but not wanting to test how far he’d go, after all, you weren’t dumb, he had the upper hand now.

His ears went back as he noticed your little rebellion, making his hand leave your neck, his arm with small violet cuts from your sharp nails. But before you could sing victory your own dagger was pressed against your neck.

“You always this dramatic, princess?” 

You didn’t flinch- even as he pressed it tighter against your skin.

You held his gaze, your hands turning to fists as you were trying out to think of a way out of this.

At your lack of answer he continued.

“You got a funny way of entertainin’ yourself.” He said now, slowly, almost as if savoring each word- his gaze changed, no longer a soldier, but something else. The dagger moved down on your body, leaving a violet line down on your ashy skin, some drops of blood mixing with ash and body paint.

Even the most subtle movement from your part made him give you a warning glare, the dagger pressing down harder into your skin- so you finally gave in, at least for now.

The blade met the ropes on your chest, and that’s when you voiced your concerns.

“'Upe lu nga- Skxawng! [What are you- Moron!]” You said as he cut through the first ropes. But before you could get up his free hand shot out back to your neck, keeping you down as he cut through the other ropes. freeing your breasts, each with red long violet lines from wearing the tight ropes all the time.

You hissed at him as his hand tightened around your windpipe, finally beginning to panic.

Your mind ran through the worst possible outcomes of this scenario- what was he planning to do?

“Bleedin’, scratchin’, beggin’ for attention- Tryin’ to sneak up on me, maybe all you need is a good lesson, princess” He said as the blade moved down your ribs and stomach. 

Your sore ankle was a constant, feeling on fire and already feeling how the skin and meat there was swelling up. You were trapped.

“So I repeat myself, we can do this the good…” He paused for a few seconds, hooking the tip of your blade on your loincloth. “Or bad way. It’s your punishment, so i’ll let ya’ choose, Princess”

You sucked in a breath. What… Was he going to do? You finally felt the unforgiving rush of fear, a feeling you had grown to hate. Because it meant you had no way out.

“English” He ordered as he saw your mouth open. “G…Good” You said, your accent harsh in the other language.

The blade retreated, and he smirked.

“Atta girl” He said, and moved from kneeling to sitting down, his hand leaving your neck in the process. You couldn’t run, your ankle prevented you from doing so, besides you had no top to cover your intimacy. You were stuck with him here.

As you sat up, his hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him.

“Figured you’d have a little more bite” He said with a small laugh. You winced as your ankle burned in pain as you moved towards him, you awkwardly landed on his chest, sitting on your knees with your hand still held by his.

He let out a groan as your bare breasts pressed against his chest.

His hand left your wrist and went down to your tail, tugging on the base, making you growl in warning. Yes, he might have the upper hand, but you still had some pretty sharp canines and it wouldn’t be the first time you bite down on someone’s aorta.

His hand moved along your tail, his fingers tracing the decorations on it, slightly squeezing as he did so, making your cheeks go a light violet tone, making you feel ashamed. This was wrong- you hated him, had you somehow forgotten why you had come here in the first place?

But the moment he grabbed your kuru you went stiff, even your growling stopped abruptly. He brought the end of your long braid towards his face, staring at the pink tendrils softly moving “Everything you are braided up in one place… risky design.” He said.

You held a breath in, hands turning to fists.

He looked down at your hands, and smirked. “Well, we can’t risk you giving me a purple eye, can we?”

—

You groaned as you tried fighting the restraints, to little to no avail.

You didn’t give as much fight as you wished you could- the adrenaline had faded to a low energy + tired state, your muscles sore, your ankle swollen and your whole body aching from the prior fall and being manhandled by Quaritch.

But you didn’t want this. Or so you tried telling yourself. 

But it was hard to make him listen to your insults as he held your kuru dangerously close to his. He was yapping about how he had only done it with Varang, first time in torture, the second and other times in much more intimate contexts, only adding to your wounded pride.

You felt your pride twist in your chest, bubbling your insides which were boiling with rage, even as a faint warmth grew in your loincloth. Your tail lashed angrily, and you squirmed against your restraints, holding you still in a sitting position against the muddy floor.

“You don’t get to touch that, sky-man” You hissed at him, baring your fangs. He might be blue now, but you knew how dangerous his kind was. 

He smirked and pulled on your braid, making you hiss in pain, your queue straining against your skull.

“Oh, really, princess?” He said, letting out a low laugh. “I ain’t gonna bite… Unless you give me any reasons” He added, enjoying your discomfort.

“I always wondered how these damn’ things work” He said mostly to himself, and brought your queue towards his face, smiling as you squirmed harder.

He slowly poked his tongue out and brought it to the pink tendrils, letting them gently wrap against the wet muscle.

You let out a sharp groan. You couldn’t describe the sensation- it was extremely off-putting, as if your whole consciousness was wrapped in his tongue, you could feel its warmth, the wet and sticky saliva, the way it subtly moved. Your eyes closed, your face contorting into pure distress.

“Stop it!” You managed to yell- no longer caring for alerting his men. Your legs began trembling, your ears flicked back and the moment he pulled your kuru away from his tongue you let out an awkward whimper- a sound you were pretty sure you had never done before.

It wasn’t like Varang’s tsaheylu tortures, this was worse- it was stimulating you.

“Maybe I should bring you to Varang, princess. Let her deal with you.” He said, laughing at your deplorable state, you were sure not even the ash hid the deep blush in your face now.

Gran pecador, gran pecador…

Vuelve a pecar, vas a pagarla completa

“You’re gonna pay for this” You said, drool running down your lips, looking at him with pure hatred- this was worse than any body injury. He was directly harming your honor, and you were doing your best to ignore how your body was receiving the attack.

“Really?” He said, moving in front of your kneeling form, letting go of your kuru, he kneeled in front of you, now being face to face.

“Because you seem to be enjoying this as much as me” He said in a low tone, moving the flap of your loincloth to the side, revealing the wet spot on the underside.

You let out a hiss, your tail lashing once again.

This wasn’t looking good.

---

The lab was never quiet. Either it was the distant footsteps of scientists, or the machines beeping every few seconds.

The room was full of samples, delicate glass vials filled with different liquids.

You had been taken in a raid- little was known about your past, and little did the scientists care.

The only important thing here was your genetic material- everything they could sample with their complex machines. You had been sedated, drugs pumped every few minutes to keep you in some sort of comatose state.

Your fingers faintly twitched as you floated inside the tank, a breathing machine in your face, and the liquid around your body slightly bubbling as the machines inside it moved with precision, proding with large needles your vulnerable body.

Once you had worn gorgeous beaded tops and loincloths colored with roots in a way you could get lost just staring at the intricate designs you had dyed onto them. But those days were long gone. 

You had lost everything, even if you weren’t awake to realize it. The scientists had given you a nickname to refer to you as if you were nothing more than a school project. 

Specimen #1, Recom Viability Trial.

They couldn’t care less about searching your true name, even as the soldiers heard it being screamed at by other Na’vi as they took your unconscious body after the fight.

Your clan, your clothes, things as intimate as your songcord were all trashed.

All that was left of you was your naked body floating day and night, being fed by a tube while they used you for resources.

“Sedation holding alright?” Said a scientist to another as he checked your pulse on the monitor. Steady as always. Because of budget cuts, they had to change the sedation drugs, giving you a cheaper one that had the risk that if it’s use was interrupted you could regain consciousness, But after being trapped there for so long, it was most probable your brain would be all mushed.

“Yup, most we’ve gotten is some minor spikes on neural activity” Answered another one with a lollipop hanging from her lips as she typed the daily advances on a computer.

A distant alarm began blaring- the two scientists freezing for a few seconds. Gunshots began being heard. 

Their station wasn’t in Bridgehead, but instead in the forest- could they have been spotted? But it wasn’t Na’vi war cries that could be heard- these were not a random clan attack. It was the Resistance.

For a few minutes they just stared at each other, the lollipop falling to the floor.

The gunshots were clear now, screams both in English and Na’vi could be heard. The security alarms began blasting louder. The monitors had an EMERGENCY: ABORT AND EVACUATE screen on them.

“Shit” Said the male scientist as he ran towards the computer, dismissing the notifications and quickly typing.

“What are you doing? We have to evacuate before they get to us!” Said the female scientist, trying to pull the male towards the exit to no avail.

“We can’t lose all our progress! We’re taking as many samples with us as we can” He said, and with a final click of his mouse the small glass boxes holding vials unlocked. He grabbed a metallic case and began putting as much as he could inside, his co-worker doing the same as the gunshots slowly got closer.

As they finally finished, there was only one last thing to do.

The computer had the instructions on.

DESTROY SPECIMEN #1

The male scientist looked at his co-worker, and she nodded as she searched for the keys for the helicopter. He gave her the metallic case and unholstered the gun from his belt, made exactly for moments like this.

With a quick movement of his finger, he pulled the trigger. The glass broke and the water quickly moved your body to the floor, landing between the broken shards of glass, red lines appearing on your blue skin.

“May god forgive me” He whispered before running away with his co-worker.

You laid there, limp. The breathing machine still beeped, your pulse was weak, but still there. The translucent liquid surrounding you now was all over the floor, your body uncomfortably twisted over the glass shards cutting into your skin.

The breathing machine was still on your face, softly beeping with each soft breath.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Slow drops of the translucent liquid from the tank ran down your body, making your hair and eyelashes wet.

Drop, drop.

They slowly fell down your body, pooling under you. Your tail gave a small flick, then your fingers. 

You felt as if you were being born. Colors danced beneath your eyelids, each part of you felt at least ten times heavier, and you slowly began waking up from your years-long slumber.

You could feel the blood being pumped by your heart move through your veins along with tickles on the tip of your fingers and toes, but even then, you couldn’t move or do anything. It was as if there was a heavy blanket over you, lulling you back to your long sleep.

The needle which pumped the drug continued oozing the amber liquid onto the floor, hanging from the tank.

The floor vibrated as footsteps approached.

—

Smoke made everything hard to see, some fuses had been shot, its cables burning and filling everything with a thick layer of smoke and the smell of burnt plastic.

The once clean halls of the small laboratory were now stained with blood and bullets on its walls. 

How did the Resistance reach it? They had been kidnapping Na’vi. From different clans, sometimes they sent soldiers to go and kill everything that resisted, other times they’d use more quiet methods, drugging and kidnapping Na’vi’s with the bad luck of being alone with no one near to help.

They were specific. Only Na’vi’s in their early 20s, blue-skin only, no teal. There was a few exceptions, but not many.

Many clans had gathered to discuss. Hunters began going missing, gatherers disappearing during their usual activities, banished in thin air. The smell of gun powder became present in other parts, leaving bloodshed behind.

Jake wasn’t stupid, he could realize this was the RDA planning something. “They’re selecting them” He said- the all mighty Toruk Makto feeling the weight of somehow finding a solution to this problem. 

Thankfully his kids were too young to fit in the criteria, but that didn’t ease him- everyone was looking at him, waiting for a plan. He used to be a soldier, he had the advantage of having been with the enemy once, he knew how they thought.

And here it was, the proof of what he had suspected at first.

A lab hidden in the forest, its walls painted and camouflaged to not be spotted. 

Norm moved through the halls in his Avatar body, one hand pressing a face mask against his face, the small machine softly emitting sound as he breathed in and out, looking for more survivors.

Two avatar fighters moved in front of him, rifles in hand just in case another RDA soldier popped out of nowhere. They had cleared three rooms already- Two of them had different supplies which would help the Resistance, guns, canned food, ammo, and some more useful things.

The third was a long hallway with cells, some were empty, others had Na’vi on them, some recently taken, others had been here for more. 

As the Avatars helped the last few outside, taking turns with the face masks- one stopped, grabbing onto Norm’s shirt.

At first Norm couldn’t understand him, as the poor Na’vi’s voice was rough and couldn’t stop coughing. But then Norm understood it. “There’s… Another one” The Na’vi said in a rough voice.

“Another one?” Norm asked, raising an eyebrow. The Na’vi nodded “They kept her separate from us” he said.

They reached the exit, and Norm helped the Na’vi onto the floor to sit with the other rescued people.

Max approached Norm, looking up at his friend and coworker.

“You’re not gonna like this” He started. Max’s clothes were dirty from all the prior fuss as they fought against the soldiers, one of his sleeves torn where a bullet had grazed him.

“It seems they were experimenting with the prisoners” Max began- explaining what he had seen inside, not much because of the smoke they couldn’t enter all rooms, and before running away the scientists had deleted most of the information from the computers.

Norm nodded. “I saw the equipment, like Jake said, it sounds like they were trying to get something specific from the Na’vi.” He said

“Not just sampling- Neural scans, long-term sedation protocols, blood samples, and more” Max added, fixing his breathing mask.

Jake came into view. Norm remembered what the Na’vi had told him- about another prisoner being still inside.

“That’s all of them?” Jake asked Norm, who shook his head. “There’s another one apparently” He answered.

“Let’s hope that alive” Max added. “Let’s go then” He said before entering back the ruined laboratory, Norm and Max following as the other Avatar and humans of the Resistance helped the rescued Na’vi onto the helicopters.

The smoke was somehow thicker now, the stench of burnt metal stinging the nose of Norm and Jake, the face masks soothing it lightly, while Max’s full face mask prevented him from smelling.

Eventually Norm got ahead, Jake following with his rifle in hand, just in case,

There it was, the last room. Liquid oozed from the slightly ajar door, making the men’s boots and feet wet.

“Watch the ground” Jake said as Norm entered first, seeing the broken shards of glass on the floor from behind. The smoke made it hard to see, the red alarm blasting making it harder.

Norm squinted his eyes, but managed to make out a silhouette. “There” He said, walking closer, his boots cracking the pieces of glass. Jake stood by the entrance, since being barefoot didn’t let him get any closer.

You were still on the floor, body sprawled, looking almost dead, if it wasn’t for your tail giving small flicks.

Norm wasted no time in lifting you into his arms, the smoke barely letting him see who he was holding.

As they once again exited the laboratory, Norm carefully put you on the floor, one of the Avatars quickly approaching with a blanket to cover your intimacy.

Max grabbed a first aid kit to see your signals and clean the injuries from the fall and glass shards. Jake kneeled next to your form, frowning as he recognized you, his hand going to bump Norm’s shoulder- they both recognized you.

“Hold on” Jake said as his hand went to your chin, moving your face lightly. Yeah, it was you.

It also clicked on Norm’s head. “Wait- i know her” He said, Jake muttering a “Me too”, his fingers going from your chin to your neck, checking your pulse. Good, you were holding onto life.

“Yeah… yeah, she’s- crap, what was her name..” Norm frowned- “A warrior… from another clan, the one that trades with the Omatikaya constantly” Jake added. They both had seen you- heard of your disappearance a year or so ago.

“She trained with us a few seasons.” Jake muttered. So this is where you had been all this time- you were probably one of the first to be kidnapped.

Max approached with a small flashlight in hand, opening one of your eyelids with his fingers. He pointed the light straight to your pupil, the pupil barely reacted, making Max frown. “That’s not good” He said.

“She’s doped. Sedated, heavily” Max elaborated, letting Jake see how dilated the pupil was.

“What else?” Jake asked. “Hard to say without proper equipment” Max answered with a sigh. The other warriors called for them. It was time to part back to High Camp, as any minute the RDA could send backups.

So they lifted you up, and took you to one of the helicopters, back to the High Camp where they could properly contact your clan and send you back home.

–

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The beeping of machines seemed to follow you everywhere.

Max had you on a stretcher inside the lab at the camp, sitting next to your still unconscious self as he wrote down in his notebook.

Lo’ak and Spider were nearby with Kiri, next to Grace’s Avatar, muttering about something.

Norm entered, still on his Avatar, he just came back from talking with Jake. 

Your mouth felt dry, your tongue almost too big for your mouth, your tail was uncomfortably twisted under your body, the stretcher too cold, making goosebumps grow on your skin.

Your eyes barely opened, struggling to continue the effort it took to do so.

You only saw blurry shapes around you at first, nothing made sense- your head felt too heavy to even move, and every time you tried looking around you felt dizzy, as if you had run for an  hour in circles. A faint noise left your throat, making Max look up from his notebook.

“Norm- she’s waking up” Said the human as he stood up, checking on your vitals.

You began panicking. Who was this person speaking? Why were you wearing such weird clothes? The material felt odd against your skin- you couldn’t remember anything, your mind feeling like a sea, and you were currently drowning in its expanse.

Your breathing became labored, and you tried to move, barely moving your arm- it felt wrong, too heavy. It took everything just to lift your shoulders a few centimeters before falling back down, your tail moving under you and anxiously flicking, knocking things down.

“Easy there-” Said the human next to you. Who was this stranger? Too much white, too much sky-people technology. You slowly regained your control as you finally snapped your eyes open, seeing nothing but human technology. 

Your vision was still slightly blurry, but you saw someone approaching. You felt a tug in your heart- the sensation of knowing this person. The way his stripes looked familiar, his hair not in the usual Na’vi braids, but instead straight seemed… So close to a memory.

“N….Nm…” You tried speaking- you needed him, you weren’t sure how, as if he was the only piece of land in the sea that your mind was right now. You sucked in a big breath and used all your strength to push yourself up, feeling the world around you twist and turn as you managed to do so, completely ignoring the sky-person next to you speaking hurriedly.

You slipped one leg around the edge, then the other. You still felt so, so dizzy. 

“Wait!” Said the human, to which you hissed at, your ears going back as you bared your fangs at him.

But you quickly realized why he had tried to stop you, as the moment you tried standing up your legs gave out, and before you realized you were going down.

But before you hit it, Norm was quick to move and grab you, your face falling on his chest.

His hands hooked under yours, grabbing onto your torso, your own hands desperately grabbing onto him- your face pressed against his upper torso, hands twisting the fabric of his shirt, your whole body was trembling in half fear and half weakness.

Norm looked at Max confused. Yeah, you two had met before, but never interacted in a way that would explain this desperate attempt to get to him.

Max merely shrugged.

Your face moved slightly, looking up at Norm. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re safe”

“N…Norm” You finally said, your throat dry and sore from so much time without uttering a single word.

—

This would be hard to explain to Mutxuk. They weren’t mated, but it was clear to everyone Norm wanted to court her.

But what could he say? How could he explain this situation? You were a respected warrior in your clan, from what he heard one of the very best, but here you were, reduced to a shell of what you once were.

“Confabulation” Max said- intentionally speaking in english as you didn’t understand it. You sat next to Norm, playing with his hands.

They had been trying to diagnose you for a few days now, but you were extremely distrustful to anyone who wasn’t Norm, and on top of that you barely talked.

“Confabulation. Like when the brain fills in the gaps with fake memories?” Norm asked, his shoulders tensing as your tail wrapped around his ankle as if it belonged there.

Your body had multiple stitches from the glass injuries, but your eyes held a warmth whenever they looked up at Norm.

Your fingers the fifth finger in his hand almost lovingly, your body pressed to his side as he spoke to Max.

“'Upe's going sìn ma yawne? [What’s going on my beloved?]” You asked, mixing some loose words you seemed to remember in English with your native Na’vi. Your voice sounded raspy, and you clearly struggled to speak.

“Ke'u… Syor [Nothing… Relax]” Norm said with a faked sweet tone, giving your hand a pat with his free hand. 

“Her brain’s filling the gaps with something that makes sense emotionally” Max added as he rummaged through the files he had been writing about your situation.

Footsteps approached, and you instantly tensed. “Who do you think knocked her up?” Said a male voice, Lo’ak.

“I think it was Norm, think of it, two Avatars, all alone in the woods- Ow!” Added the same voice, and a slap sound interrupted him. Then Lo’ak and Spider came into view, walking side by side, Kiri behind them.

“How’s it going with the nutcase?” Lo’ak said, letting out an Ouch! As Kiri pinched his arm.

Norm let out a sigh. “She’s not a nutcase, Lo’ak, she’s…” Not even he could find a word that could explain this situation. At his lack of words Lo’ak nudged Spider with a laugh.

Kiri rolled her eyes as she stepped closer.

Your ears went back and your tail began lashing from side to side, letting out a low hiss, pressing harder against Norm.

“Pefya lu ngaru tì'efu? [How are you feeling?]” Kiri asked you, giving you a sympathetic smile, which took you by surprise.

You couldn’t explain why, but it felt… Comforting, to be near her. You simply nodded, looking at the side ashamed of your prior hostility.

“She’s still disoriented” Norm explained. Spider leaned a bit, trying to see you better. It was so odd to see a Na’vi in clinical gowns.

You frowned- you didn’t understand them whenever they spoke in english. 

“M… Ma… Yawne… oeyktìng [M…My… Beloved… Explain]” you said, tugging at his shirt. Your grip on him was soft, gentle, your eyes almost shined like glitter looking up at him.

Norm cringed at the words- but didn’t show it. Kiri stared at you, then at Norm- Spider raised his eyebrows as well as Lo’ak. “No shit” Spider said.

Lo’ak grinned. “Yeah dude, she definitely thinks you're her mate” He said.

“It’s the confabulation. Not weird with these kinds of memory issues.” Max explained as he grabbed a specific folder, opening it and going through the pages. “So she just… picked him?” Spider asked.

“Well, he was the first stable figure she saw when she woke up, familiar race plus non threatening behavior” Max explained further. “Besides she already knew him prior to the incident, so it’s her brain doing it’s best to reconstruct what’s missing in her head” 

Nom stared at Max, all the while Mutxuk was on his head.

He needed to report the whole situation to Jake. Maybe he’d know what to do.

After you fell asleep, Norm went towards Jake’s Kelku- the walk across the high camp feeling weirder. Lately Norm hadn’t left the lab, as he was afraid other Na’vi would feel your scent all over him.

It didn’t matter how much he thought of other things, Mutxuk was a constant in his head. She probably realized by now how distant he had been- and he had no words to explain this situation.

He arrived at Jake's kelku with a sour taste in his mouth. Jake was cleaning his rifle, Neytiri behind him fixing his dreadlocks.

Jake stared at Norm, trying to put on a serious face, but Norm noticed the faint smirk on his face. “What?” Norm asked, noticing how even Neytiri seemed to already know of the whole ordeal.

“Lo’ak told me about the situation” Jake said, raising an eyebrow. “Seems you got yourself in a situation” Jake added. He let the rifle over his knees as he leaned into Neytiri’s hands on his hair.

“She’s confused” Norm said, getting slightly defensive, not enjoying Jake’s teasing. Jake only nodded- “She’s traumatized” Norm added.

“Does that include her wrapping her tail on your leg?” Jake said with a grin. Norm’s ears flattened in embarrassment. “I was trying to keep her calm” Norm tried explaining, when in reality there was little to explain, the situation spoke for itself.

“Sure looked calm when she was calling you ma yawne.” Norm’s tail freezed in the air as Jake said that, his face becoming a deep violet shade. “Dude, come on, cut me some slack” Norm said, running a hand over his face, letting out a sigh.

Jake motioned for Norm to sit, Jake’s grin softly fading into a more serious face as Norm sat down. “Alright, jokes aside…” He began.

“It’s not your fault she’s all over you man, but it is your responsibility to be honest, with her, with yourself.” Neytiri silently nodded behind Jake, her fingers twisting his dreadlocks with patience.

“I’m not lying to her, I'm just-” Norm began, only to be interrupted by Jake. “I don’t mean words. You can’t let her build a life in her head that ain’t real- what will happen if she regains her memories? What will happen with Mutxuk?” Jake said, his tone far more serious than his teasing tone before.

Norm swallowed, staring at Jake.

“She trusts you- right now that trust is probably the only thing keeping her steady. So… Stay close, help her. But set boundaries.” Jake explained, Norm nodded.

“And what do I tell Mutxuk?” Norm asked. “If she hears it from someone else it’ll be worse. So be honest with her.” Jake answered.

Norm muttered a curse under his breath- he was royally fucked. You weren’t ugly- at all, but his heart was torn between protecting this illusion for your sake and being honest to Mutxuk. Whatever he chose, he’d make someone upset.

“You got a good heart, Norm. That’s why she picked you- now go get some rest” And with that, Norm thanked Jake and got up, going back to the lab, hopefully you wouldn’t recognize him in his human form, and he could take some days to think about this whole thing.

—

Well, he thought wrong. 

The moment you saw him in his human self, you curiously followed him- of course, you recognized his scent, but… You hadn’t connected the dots that he was an Avatar. Still, that didn’t stop you from slowly approaching him and being behind him all day.

Things got worse as you began heading out of the lab, interacting with other Na’vi and people and carelessly saying you were Norm’s mate- not understanding why some people gave you the side eye, as you were completely unaware of Mutxuk’s existence.

Then you got more bold. The size difference played quite the image as Norm barely reached your ribs, and still you’d be all over him, thankfully you waited to be alone in the lab to begin your little shows of affection.

At first it was standing next to him, tail playfully flicking his behind as you’d then laugh as he’d tell you you couldn’t do that and get flustered.

Like a cat, you’d always pay attention to his weaker moments, whenever he took a nap or something you’d always be near, making sure he was safe. 

Of course, you couldn’t live in the lab, so you were assigned a Kelku, but you barely spent any time there, in fact, getting upset at the fact Norm was “moving you out” from the lab, and he shared sleeping quarters with other Avatars, so you barely had any more intimate moments.

Intimate moments Norm was sure he didn’t want- it’d make everything too real, and like Jake said, he couldn’t continue feeding onto this delusion you had.

But meat is weak, and there’s little to hold on to when you tempt him so badly, calling him sweet nicknames and giving him teasing shy touches, whether he was in his Avatar or not.

Right now, he had decided to bring you back to your clan- of course, you were confused, why was he leading you to the helicopter? But Norm had to do so before things escalated, maybe there you’d recover your memories.

He didn’t tell you where he was taking you- just told you he needed to take you somewhere special, which eased your mind, and gave you many ideas. Was he finally ready to form tsaheylu? You were already mated, but your mind was so foggy you couldn’t remember how it must have felt the first time, and in the name of Eywa, were you excited to try it again.

So with the few friends you had at High camp, you made sure to make a gorgeous top, using everything you had and that was given to you to make it as appealing as possible. Then your loincloth- it was short, dyed with roots to imitate Norm’s human hair color, and with small beads in the strings in the sides, inviting for your mate to untie it.

Norm noticed the change in your clothes as you two got on the helicopter, the fact you didn’t let anyone else go with you two being a dead giveaway as well.

He had gone back to his human self, as it was the only way to pilot the helicopter, which you hadn't thought about- humans weren’t able to Tsaheylu, but hey, you’d make it work- even if it was just a kiss, it’d be enough for you.

It didn’t take a genius to understand what you thought this was. Norm focused on the controls as the wind made your loincloth move dangerously, showing the underlayer pressed against your genitals.

He felt his stomach twist, already preparing himself for your heartbreak the moment you’d realize you weren’t going to what you thought.

You were sitting behind the pilot seat, occasionally moving to see down below, pointing out stuff to Norm with such a loving tone it only made him feel more anxious. The way you looked at him, even if he couldn’t see it, he was able to feel it. With devotion.

The flight was quiet other than your occasional comment and the overall sounds of the helicopter.

He set the helicopter down before reaching your clan, as a human arriving in a helicopter wouldn’t do anything in his favor.

The engine powered down and you carefully climbed off the helicopter. You smiled as you saw the vibrant flora- after being so long in the High Camp surrounded by nothing but stone, you finally had the feeling of grass under your feet.

Norm stayed on his seat for a few minutes, his hands getting clammy. By the moment he made up his mind to be honest, he got off the helicopter, and met your bright eyes as you waited for him, your cheeks slightly violet in anticipation, your tail moving side to side softly in excitement.

As he stood next to you, he made his mind- he was going to be honest. 

“Okay, listen-” He was interrupted as you kneeled in front of him, now being face to face.

“You bring me somewhere quiet- somewhere private” You began, a smile on your face, your hands settling on his shoulders, one hand going up to his face and caressing it.

You pressed your forehead against his. “So we can be… Close” You added in almost a whisper, closing your eyes.

It was too much for him. “No, please- its… That’s not why we’re here” Your eyes opened and you moved back, looking at him with a weird expression- completely thrown off guard.

“What?” You finally said, your accent thick on the English you had learned in this time.

He looked at your eyes, and his shoulders tensed as you retreated your hands. “I’m taking you back to your clan”

You were slightly aware of your condition- but they hadn’t told you much, only that you had been in a terrible accident that had affected your memories- you hadn’t bothered asking more, trusting that they’d take care of you. Not send you away like one would do to a pest.

Your ears flattened, your tail went still. “...No” You said.

Norm exhaled, not sure if he should step back. “You belong with your clan… They can help you remember- help you get better.”

“I don’t need that- i… I have you, it’s all I need” You said, your eyes getting wet.

“You’re confused” Norm said. Your tail began moving again in a frantic rhythm, your hairless eyebrows furrowing.

Your hands grabbed his shirt, your much bigger hands twisting the fabric under your fingers. “I am not confused. You’re my mate- you cannot send me away”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at you, almost as if saying sorry with his mind.

You put two and two together, the lack of touches, the fact that he always seemed to try to be busy so as to not have free time with you.

“You lie” You said, your hands tightening on his shirt, not letting him step back.

“I’m… You just- your memory is messed up, you’re mixing things together.” He tried explaining, only worsening the now open injury in your heart.

But then you realized. His words lied, but you knew, deep down, he felt the same. Those times where you’d curl on him on the really small human lab beds, how unconsciously he’d press his head against you deep in his sleep, your tail curled against his leg. How whenever you touched him you felt a change in his scent.

You had to show him you knew it- that together, it didn’t matter what happened, as long as you were together.

Mates or not, you were in love with him. He took care of you, aided you when you mostly needed it.

Your hands left his shirt and moved to his shoulders, this time softly grabbing them.

“I know how you feel” You said softly, a tear running down your cheek.

“That doesn’t mea-” He tried saying, but you were quick to interrupt.

“I know your scent” You began.

“I know” He said, unable to look into your eyes.

“I know your voice”

“I know”

“I know… You are mine” You said, moving your face in front of his, your hands going down his shoulders to his arms.

Norm felt a shiver run down his spine. “You can’t decide that right now, you’re not thinking clearly.” He said.

But you simply moved your hand to his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat.

“I see you” You said softly, letting him savor the words in the air.

He finally looked at your eyes, and you moved closer, pressing your lips against his. Even if your different anatomies made it weird, you enjoyed the feeling of his human lips against your Na’vi ones.

As you broke the kiss, he spoke once again.

“This isn’t right- You don’t understand what you’re asking.” Norm insisted, his smaller human hands grabbing onto your wrists, not pushing away, just… Touching.

“Then explain.” You said- he opened his mouth, but no words came out.

He could feel your pulse under his fingers now, how warm your skin was. “I can’t” He insisted once again.

Why couldn’t he?

Because it would be a lie.

Because somewhere out there was a life you couldn’t remember.

Because Mutxuk existed.

It was too much to risk. All the years it took him to be accepted by the Na’vi, then all it took you was waking up to choose him, Avatar or human, it didn’t matter.

“You don’t remember who you were before.” He said, taking in your facial features.

“Maybe this is who i am” You answered, not willing to give up.

“That’s not how memory works, you have a conditio-” He tried saying, only to be interrupted by your face moving close to his, lips just a breath away.

“It is how the heart works.” You finally said, it was the truth. 

When you woke up, you’d look for him.

When you slept, you searched for Norm’s warmth.

When you’re afraid, you need him.

And when he leaves, it hurts.

“I already chose you” You added. This was it.

It was up to him now to choose.

NOTES:

Guys there's like zero HD pictures of Norm... So i had to put on my pirate eyepatch and go to sketchy websites to go see if i could find the movie HQ to take screenshots but had zero luck... Anyways i have so much fics to finish omg i really hope i can get back to being as active as before!

If there was one thing you didn’t have the patience for, it was men who didn’t know what they wanted.

So of course, when Zdinarsik appeared, all confidence and appeal, you were quick to fall for her. She wasn’t the lovey dovey type- no, she was more of drinking a row of beers and then showing off to everyone how she could lift you up.

She’d walk with one hand always touching you, proud to make everyone know you were with her.

Something you had never experienced with Lyle. With him things were on the down low, always hiding, pretending nothing happened between you two.

So of course, you lost your patience, fuck him. You tried to open up to him, you bared yourself for him, and in exchange you were only seen as a mere sexual object.

So of course, when Zdinarsik had gone on a mission without you, you were surprised to see him entering your room without even knocking or something- well, you already knew him, so it was really not a surprise.

You were wearing Z-Dog’s shirt, nothing underneath. Her name was embroidered on the shirt in standard RDA font, and you felt slightly proud. Let him see it.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” He said. It seems the news of you and Zdinarsik arrived to him.

Well, you never officially broke up what you had- because it wasn’t anything. All the times you tried showing him what you wanted you were cut off. So you didn’t bother personally letting him know.

The letters on the shirt were clean, easily recognizable, unlike whatever you and Lyle used to have.

You were sitting on the edge of your bed, your bare legs facing Lyle. “You’re dating Z-Dog? Seriously?” He said as he fully stepped inside, his muscles flexing under the tension in his shoulders.

His voice sounded in a way not even he seemed to believe it.

How could you miss something you never had?

You were never allowed to have dolls, and the few times some RDA worker felt pity and gave you anything resembling a toy, it’d be thrown in the trash by any superior.

He had died before you were around 7. You barely remembered him, after all, he never really paid any attention to you other than making sure you were well behaved.

Not daddy, not papa, just father, or Quaritch.

There was no sentimental bond- you grew up practically alone, being taught how to hold a gun before you even knew how periods worked.

You were a soldier first, a kid later.

You had a brother, but you knew nothing about him. For all you knew he had died in the hands of blue savages.

You were chasing a ghost, it seemed. Literally. You had heard a few stories. Killed by Jake Sully’s mate, his corpse lost in action- you never really mourned or anything as you grew up.

You would have liked to meet your mother. In the pictures she seemed nice- the only picture you had was of her with baby Miles in her arms. You had no pictures of your father, except for a replica of his dog tags you had been given when it was confirmed he was dead. A small gift from an RDA worker.

The RDA didn’t send you to earth- as you were fully aware of the Recombinate Program a few years after he died. You began helping here and there, mostly learning so that once the project was finished you’d be able to ease the transition of being brought back to life for Quaritch.

You didn’t really care- here you had a room, a warm bed and three meals a day, good enough for you.

But things got harder once the program was successfully finished.

You saw as the Recombinates woke up one by one, and then it was Quaritch’s time. Would he recognize you? You were a full grown adult now, not that little girl that always silently waited for him.

You didn’t care, you just did this for the RDA. You told yourself that.

Everyone seemed excited about this, the scientists excitedly talking about how the first ones to wake up were a total success. There was only one left- you stood against the wall, the furthest away as humanly possible within the same room. You didn’t care, you repeated to yourself.

You no longer looked like him. You felt a weird pang in your chest, seeing the other Recombinates get ready for him, you could only recognize Lyle, as he was still bald- which was a little funny.

The small laugh that vibrated in your throat died as soon as you saw Lyle go towards Quaritch’s stretcher, making everyone shut up as the figure in it stirred awake.

You almost felt like you were about to puke, as if you were about to have a test.

You couldn’t do this. No.

You turned on your heel, and walked towards the exit- the unfamiliar feeling of tears accumulating in your eyes making you feel humiliated. You didn’t even turn back once you heard commotion behind, you needed to get out of there before anyone saw you crying like a baby.

The corridor outside the lab was cold, the air-conditioning softly buzzing. Your steps hurried, your eyesight turning blurry with tears and an unfamiliar pain in your chest.

Hate. You hated this feeling, the way your hands began shaking, how you almost felt scared he’d look down on you as if you were a kid again, how your hands once raised for a hug and he merely turned around and ignored you.

You hated him.

Why were you so affected? You managed to get this far alone, you didn’t need to go greet him. Why did you even go there?

“Get it together” You whispered to yourself as you arrived at your room, closing the door behind you and taking a deep breath.

You moved towards the small bathroom, and splashed cold water at your face.

There’s no space in the RDA for weakness.

–

Next morning, you had General Ardmore up your ass because yesterday you ditched your chores. So today you had to do extra work- just great.

Your first task was to go update the Recoms with what had been happening these 15 years that they had been… “Sleeping”... To put it lightly.

You walked the corridors of the facility, a folder full of papers in your arms, your military uniform suddenly feeling too uncomfortable, hot, itchy, tight- you were trying to make up some sort of excuse for some time. But you’d only delay what was meant to happen. See him.

You stopped in front of the panel door, hearing a few voices inside already.

You cleared your throat before opening it and entering, seeing the whole team there, your hands tightening around the folder as your eyes fixed on him.

It barely resembled your father. Blue, tall and uncanny- too young. You must have been a few seconds staring before his eyes met yours and he raised an eyebrow.

“Do I have something in my face, soldier?” He said with that stern tone of his, the one that showed how superior he was.

You felt a few of the other recoms snicker and your face heated up with embarrassment. 

“No sir.” You quickly answered before moving to the front of the room, hinting that you wanted to continue with your work. “I was assigned to provide a situational update regarding the elapsed fifteen years” You added, putting the folder in the podium in front of you, and getting a few papers out of it.

“Current operations prioritize security and finding and destroying The Resistance group, led by Jake Sully. Taking him down would be a big hit to the-” You began, but were interrupted by Quaritch.

“We already know that soldier. What’s your name?” He said as he stood up, making you awkwardly move your face up to see him.

You awkwardly spoke. “Corporal Y/N Quaritch, sir” You heard a no fucking way from the back of the room. Of course, the last time they had seen you was before that war… Just as they were about to head out, you had gone to give your father a small drawing you did. For good luck, you said in your squeaky child voice, you were only seven, and way different than how you looked now.

Your father didn’t react. Instead stared down at you- making you feel tiny. But it wasn’t like before- it was as if he was searching for something familiar in what he was seeing now.

He repeated your name, saying it slowly in a way it was as if the lack of saying it made him feel odd wording it. 

After a few uncomfortable seconds he stared at your eyes. “I take it it’s not a funny coincidence” He said. As much as you wanted to look at the side, you looked back at him.

“No sir” You repeated.

“You sayin’ you’re related to me, corporal?” He said, his tail moving behind him.

He must be fucking with you. It only made you feel more humiliated, had his memories been tampered with or something, and now he didn’t remember you? You felt your face heat up in embarrassment even worse than before. You felt again like that girl who was constantly ignored.

You nodded again, now fully incapable of staring at him. You looked down at your boots- you felt that pang once again. 

“... I don't recall that” He said. You had done a fool of yourself- you wanted nothing but the floor to open up and swallow you whole. You heard some mumbling from the back of the room.

After a few horrible, gut destroying seconds- you were lifted up into the air by two strong hands, your eyes widening.

Before you could even react you were pulled into an embrace, your body stiff as he hugged you, then put you down and ruffled your hair. Your face still in shock. You heard laughs come from the recoms behind.

“You should have seen your face, Squirt” He said low only for you to hear as he patted your shoulder. You cringed at the mention of the old nickname he had for you.

“Alright, corporal, we’re all ears now. Tell us what that bastard Sully has been up to” He said loud enough for all to hear as he moved back to sit down.

You cleared your throat as you fixed the papers on the podium, trying to clear your head. You were a soldier- and a small show of affection shouldn’t affect you.

But even then, your hands were lightly shaking.

–

You had a love-hate relationship with Pandora. You couldn’t lie.

It was breathtaking. You always moved within Bridgehead, never went outside. But ever since Quaritch and his squad got brought back to life, you began training outside- trying to catch up to the much advanced state of the Recoms.

You had no idea why you were there. I mean, having a human would only slow them down. But Quaritch insisted you had to go with them.

You didn’t remember much of before he died, but what little you remembered he never seemed too excited to have you near him, constantly getting some subordinate to take care of you through the day.

But by the way Ardmore had put it, he was your boss now- so you just stuck with it.

You began going out on days-long expeditions trying to track the Sully’s. You’d trip, run slower, get tired faster, Quaritch never slowed down for you. You could see the annoyed look on some of the Recoms faces whenever you were too slow. 

But that only made you want to get better.

You began.. Growing some kind of bond with your father. It was as if this second chance made him actually see you.

In one of these long expeditions you found a Viperwolf, all by itself- something unlikely to happen. Quaritch told you to kill it, for no real reason- just do it. You settled your rifle.

Your bullet went right through its eye.

You allowed yourself to smile as Quaritch patted your back.

“Through the damn eye” Said Lyle as he nudged the beast’s head with his boot after he gave it another shot to kill it.

“Good shot, squirt” He said before moving towards the dead beast.

You felt the ghost of his hand on your back, and a small warm feeling ran through your spine. The corners of your lips faintly moving into a smile.

You were finally feeling acknowledged. They all formed a circle to see where you should head next- but you stood staring at the dead Viperwolf.

Replaying it.

Good shot, squirt

Squirt.

The nickname he gave you when you were barely old enough to stand by yourself. He’d usually use it whenever you were misbehaving- when you’d try to follow him into important conferences, when he caught you once playing with his hand gun. It was always “Quit it squirt- move aside” Now it meant you had done something right. You had been seen, and congratulated.

A small pat on the back almost felt enough to forgive him for all these years of leaving you alone.

You felt something being shoved into your hands, making you snap back to reality. Quaritch was standing in front of you, a protein bar in your hands, Recom sized, which made it look ridiculously big in your human hands.

He didn’t say anything, merely nodded once you grabbed and turned back to the other recoms.

And from there, he slowly changed, you realized. It was barely noticeable- just including you. But it was more than enough for the little girl inside you, the one who never managed to see this side of Quaritch.

You began understanding him.

All those years ago you’d spend hours outside his conference rooms waiting for him to get out and finally notice you.

Now he’d pass you a map and would say “Point the fastest route, squirt” And you’d do it.

Back then you’d show him drawings done in crayons only for him to walk past you.

Now during training he’d go and help your posture with whatever gun you were using, giving you tips & tricks to get the best aim or to not get hit with recoil too hard.

It wasn’t affection- you knew better than to expect that from him. But it was better than the limbo you had felt trapped in all these years.

You weren’t waiting anymore to be noticed. Because he already saw you.

–

You moved through the forests of Pandora. Quiet, armed and alert.

You didn’t recognize this part. But the other recoms seemed to recognize it. Z-dog entered what seemed to be an old RDA ruin, while Quaritch approached a fallen Combat Exo, covered by vines and dust on the floor. You silently followed him, alert for any noises- you weren’t too fond of Na’vis, and you knew for a fact they weren’t too fond of humans either.

From afar, Spider and Lo’ak watched curiously.

“Bro… This is the place where your dad and mine fought” Spider said to Lo’ak- but then his eyes saw you. There was… Something curious, like a weird recognition he saw in your eyes, seeing you go next to the tallest guy there, your mouth saying something he didn’t get to hear.

Spider’s brows furrowed, the sensation feeling like a weird knot forming on his chest.

“That’s your dad’s actual suit” Lo’ak murmured, unaware of the tension in Spider’s shoulders.

Spider stared at the… Avatars? They weren’t Na’vi, judging by their perfect English and clothes, and the guns were a death-giveaway of their side here. 

You stepped closer to Quaritch, and saw his name in the metal, a chill running up your spine. The skeleton staring back at you said enough, and you decided you’d better stay quiet for now.

“Lyle, see if you can pull some data out that… dash cam” Your father said as he straightened his posture, and you began snooping around as well.

Deciding they had seen enough, Lo’ak told Spider that he’d contact Jake, and they retreated, quietly as to not be heard or seen.

But little did they know, they had already been too loud.

As they were escaping, one of the recoms popped out of nowhere, grabbing Tuk- the siblings quickly getting into position as they were surrounded by these strange Avatars.

Realizing they had no chance against the weapons held by these people, Lo’ak had to drop his bow, and command his siblings to also lower their weapons. They were quickly immobilized by the attackers.

You watched from a few feet of distance, slowly walking towards the captives, your eyes focused on the human within them.

 For all you knew he had died in the hands of blue savages.

Your own past thoughts came back to your head as you moved, your gun pointing down, your eyebrows furrowing.

He looked at you, and hissed. Just like a savage. But you saw the recognition in his eyes as well.

He looked… Different, so much different. From a small baby running around to a full grown man, his once short blonde hair now matted in dreads, and even though the mask reflected the sun, you could still make the shape of his face. The face of your brother.

Alive. Blue strips painting him from head to toe, marking him as a blue monkey. You almost felt offended.

You completely ignored Lyle and Quaritch talking about fingers or whatever- your mind still in shock of the discovery- which Quaritch was too busy checking hands to realize that his own damn son was there, playing pretend.

It wasn’t until he pulled out a knife that you snapped out of it, pointing your gun at the Na’vi with eyebrows as Quaritch threw him to the floor. He screamt out for his sister as Quaritch moved.

That’s funny, that’s why they were so focused on him, he was Jake Sully’s son. And staring at the other girl she seemed to be half human as well, human facial features and all, too uncanny for your liking.

The human screamt for Quaritch to not touch her- finally making him notice him.

“What’s your name kid?” He asked in a wary tone.

The human stared at him, then at you, still squirming under the grasp of the recom. “Spider… Socorro”

You had to force yourself to stay quiet and focused- to not show any of the surprise you felt on your face.

Quaritch motioned for the recom to let go of Miles, your face frowning at this confusing turn of events. He kneeled to be face to face with your… brother.

“Miles?” He said. You couldn’t see your father’s face, but you could hear it in his tone that there wasn’t any hostility like just a few seconds before.

Miles stared at Quaritch for a few seconds, his body tense. “Nobody calls me that anymore” He said, with clear disgust.

“Well, I'll be damned. You have grown a lot” 

–

Well, it could have gone worse, you thought.

You had been reached by one of Jake Sully’s mate arrows. Neytiri, her name was from the files you found. Your thigh had been the affected body part, the arrow going through it, leaving a bit of a nasty wound.

It seems that the rain had cleansed the poison from the arrows, as from what Quaritch told you she had a knack for poisoning them- otherwise you would have ended up just like him.

But not everything’s lost. You got Miles- err, Spider, as he liked to be called

As you got your injuries tended to, you limped towards the room they were keeping him in. Just as you arrived you saw Quaritch leave.

“Will he help?” You asked him, feeling odd at the… Messed family dynamics. In reality you wanted to ask him how he was- but you knew better than to be transparent with your feelings. It’d make you look weak.

The sterile environment did nothing to soothe your nerves. Spider stood out like a sore thumb in that questioning room, hissing and hiding under the table.

“He’ll talk. Eventually” Quaritch said before continuing walking. You slightly frowned. He had been back to that whole ignoring you thing- was it because you failed and got shot?

Whatever. You moved towards the glass and stared at Spider. Back at hiding under the table. You took a deep breath, and moved towards the glass door, stepping inside.

Neither of you spoke, shit, he didn’t even turn to look at you, eyes focused on the wall in front of him.

“You’re here.” He acknowledged, to which you nodded awkwardly.

“I thought you were dead” You admitted before you could stop yourself.

“Thought the same about you” He answered, frowning. You moved closer, sitting on the floor next to him cross legged, the bandages under your camo pants uncomfortably tight, the wound palpitating.

For a while neither of you spoke, the awkward and tense silence filling the room as you played with the loose hem in your pants.

“You look… Different” You said finally looking up at him. He looked not human, but neither was Na'vi- something in between. 

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you find a family that actually cares. You try to look like them” He answered, getting defensive.

“He cares about you, in his own way” You weren’t even sure why you were defending Quaritch. 

His head finally moved to look at you, his shoulders tensing. “Don’t”

“I was just saying that-” You tried explaining. “Don’t. He doesn’t care, he never did, at least never enough to properly look for me” He interrupted you.

“He couldn’t. Literally couldn’t- he was-” You tried once again, feeling him get on your nerves.

“Dead, and I wish it stayed that way” You simply stared at him in silence, brows furrowed. He wasn’t the only one that suffered. While he was playing pretend with the Na’vi you were being made into a soldier, and now he came and acted all defensive?

“You don’t get to say that” Quaritch had always been a sensitive theme. And he had re-opened the wound.

“You at least had a family. I didn’t get a forest, or a new family. All I got was training schedules and reports as soon as I was considered grown enough for it.” You said, face frowning as you stared at him.

“You still chose to stay with the RDA” He answered, but it didn’t sound as hostile as before.

You let out a sigh. “I chose to survive. Just like you.” Arguing wasn’t going to lead you anywhere.

The awkward silence once again stretched for a few minutes. You stretched your injured leg, biting back a hiss of pain.

“You got shot” He said, his eyes going to the very small red stain on your pants right over the bandaged wound. 

You looked down at the red spot. “Through the thigh. I’ll live.” You answered, the tense atmosphere slightly fading.

You softly smiled at the memory popping in your head.

“Besides. I’ve been through worse. When you were 3 you bit me so hard I still have the scar. This is nothing compared to that.” You said, watching closely for his reaction.

He blinked- clearly not expecting you to bring up past memories from before… Everything. He knit his eyebrows, not upset like before, more like lost in thought.

“…No I didn’t.” He said after a few seconds of thinking. The edges of your mouth softly moved up as you extended your arm towards him. And there, small teeth scars were on the soft part of your inner arm, so old the scars were white-ish.

“You locked on and wouldn’t let go” You added, biting the inside of your cheek to stop the smile trying to form on your face at the fond memory. 

The silence finally didn’t feel like a physical weight bringing you down.

“I don’t remember any of that.” He confessed, eyes still locked on the floor, but now it didn’t feel like they were avoiding you “I can remember enough for the both of us” You answered, finally allowing yourself to smile.

“…I don’t remember him much either.” The smile on your face faded, replaced by a thin line. Him. Quaritch.

You couldn't stop the frown forming on your face. For all you knew he could be outside the room hearing everything. So you reminded yourself to be careful of your words.

“Me neither… I mean, I did have to wait 15ish years for him to come back. And from back then… I… Don’t remember much either.” The words tasted like salt on your tongue, weird, unsavory. You couldn’t go yapping around about what you did remember- how you were always ignored, left behind. It was a white lie.

You took out a small protein bar from your pocket and handed it to Spider. You didn’t say anything, merely gave him a nod. As he took it, you stood up and walked towards the panel door.

Your hand hovered over the card to open it. Spider stared at the protein bar in his hands. “…You know you don’t have to stand at attention with me, right?” He said, and you stood there, giving him the back- because otherwise he’d be able to see your face, full of contained emotions.

“Get some rest… Spider” You said, finally exiting the room. Outside there was no one paying attention, no Quaritch, no scientists, only a few guards here and there. You had been paranoid for no reason- maybe you could have stayed for more time. 

As you arrived to your room, the AC was on, cold as always- You plopped down on the bed, your boots slightly staining the white sheets, Spider’s words resonated on your head. But was he saying the truth? He still was with the Na’vi, he still was an enemy against humanity.

You’re sounding like Quaritch. Maybe… You could go see him more. Just to make sure he doesn’t hide anything. Right.

—

Then it was time to head out to Pandora in search of Jake Sully. And Spider had agreed to at least teach the recoms how to survive and blend in.

It was awkward at first, walking side by side with your brother who you hadn’t seen in 15 years- you were staring at anywhere besides him.

Spider was still wary of Quaritch, so he would occasionally talk to you instead of him, and then you’d go towards Quaritch to pass on the information- or the times where you didn’t even realize you’d always move until you were walking next to each other. Whenever you had time to stop to rest or eat, you’d linger close to each other, but never bothered to acknowledge it.

The worst was when you’d had to swim. In Bridgehead there was no swimming practice for you- so you’d end up swallowing water that got inside your mask, your arms and legs quickly getting tired. But once Spider noticed this was your weak spot, he began… Helping you. Grabbing your wrist and pushing you towards the land, swimming for both of you.

You’d dry your mask quickly afterwards and avoid looking at him, because you knew he’d make you smile.

As a thank you, you’d hand him some of your eating rations whenever the recoms weren’t staring, and he’d leave you some fruit, even teaching you how to cut it.

As the days passed the silence stopped feeling uncomfortable- less like a requirement. You began growing comfortable next to him, having small talks that ended up in giggles as he taught you curse words in Na’vi.

When one of the recoms tried taming an Ikran and failed miserably, falling on their face, you couldn’t help the laugh bubbling in your throat, Spider joining in the laughter, you slapping his shoulder playfully.

Like that, quickly and steady you began bonding like siblings once again. Not exactly as close as you deeply wished you could be, but it was looking good so far.

After he noticed the bugs and beasts would always go after you instead of the others, he helped you.

You sat on a rock as the recoms planned where to head next. Spider sat in front of you, cutting your pants up to the knees, and next to him sat a wooden bowl with some blue paint he made out of different fruits and roots.

As the pants were done, you stared at him, giving him a nod as he held the blue paste in his fingers, and began painting your face.

“It 's cold. The blue thing” You said as you closed your eyes. Spider laughed, you always complained. “Keeps the bugs off. Mostly.” You opened an eye and raised an eyebrow. “Mostly” You repeated.

“If something bites you now, then it’s personal.” He said, and you laughed this time. “Reminds me of a certain someone” You added as your hands went to the scar in your arm, tapping it with your fingers.

He moved to paint your arms, your face done. He did some sort of Na’vi pattern, and you held a small chat as he did so, until someone interrupted.

“…Well ain’t this domestic?” Quaritch said standing over you two.

“It’s for the bugs, it works for him, so i thought it wouldn’t hurt to try” You answered, trying to make it sound as unattached as possible.

Quaritch stared for a few seconds before kneeling to your level, smearing one of his fingers with the paint on your skin. You furrowed your brows.

“You lettin’ him decorate you now?” He said. At your lack of answer he continued. “Couple weeks out here and you two act like you grew up in the same damn house.”

You visibly frowned. For the past few weeks he has been ignoring you, and when he finally speaks to you he’s a douchebag. Maybe it was the fact that ever since Spider arrived, you’ve been growing a stronger bond with him rather than being 24/7 Quaritch’s personal soldier.

You repeated- “It’s for the bugs”. Quaritch stared at both of you, ears slightly drawn back as his tail moved annoyed.

Then why is it shaped like Na’vi marks? He didn’t say it out loud, but you could assume he was thinking about it. Of course it wasn’t for the bugs, well, in part it was- but mostly to be more like him, to spend quality time with him… Spider. You had grown a soft spot for your brother, which after all these years you finally had the chance to have sitting next to you.

He stood up and straightened his posture, looking down at you. “You forget what you are out here, corporal?” He said with the same tone he used to command other people at the RDA. Like if you were just a lesser being, not a human with feelings.

You held back from letting out any emotion that would show how much he was upsetting you. The recoms were thankfully busy with the maps, so it wasn’t as humiliating.

“No sir” You finally answered, your shoulders tensing. Spider looked between you and Quaritch. “She’s just-” He tried to defend you, only to be interrupted by Quaritch.

“That wasn’t addressed to you.” He said, not even bothering to look at Spider, eyes fixed on you, daring you to look aside or complain.

You bit the inside of your cheek until you tasted copper, holding back the feelings with physical pain. Seeing your face slowly morph as you accepted the reality seemed to be enough for this time as he spoke again.

“There it is- I thought I lost my soldier.” He said, moving slightly down to pat your head, and whispering into your ear “Don’t make me regret trusting you, squirt- I’ll only be nice once, then i won’t”

–

Of course, you weren’t dumb. 

In the time it took you to arrive at the reefs, you had a lot of time to think.

Before Spider arrived, you were merely a means to an end, yes, he had some attachment, but he’d never go the extra mile for you. You were a tool, and tools don’t need intimidation if they cooperate willingly.

But Spider changed everything. Attachments are weaknesses, and that’s something you always knew. You became unpredictable, not out of line, but you began having small rebellions. Quaritch distances himself emotionally so he won’t hesitate later to do so.

But you were willing to finally fight for something other than direct orders. You had finally found your brother.

–

“I’ll be damned” Said Quaritch as he saw the Sully’s kids and some other Metkayina on the Tulkun. Spider stared worried- after all, it was his people who were there, Neteyam, Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk- after so long, he finally got to see them again.

You felt uneasy. They were easy prey there, they held little to no fight against all the RDA machinery in the Seadragon.

“Let 's roll. Not you two” Your father said to you both. Of course, he knew how attached you were already to Spider. Taking either of you into the fight meant having… Issues, rather than more hands to fight.

You were forced to be inside by the men in the ship, and you couldn’t help but just anxiously stare at the bombs being thrown into the sea.

You had never met the Sully family. But… Whenever he could, Spider would talk to you about them, usually when everyone was asleep, and it was just you two finally being able to talk without the fear of someone hearing.

He always spoke first about Neteyam. He’d use the word “Responsible”. It made you curious- It almost reminded you of yourself, always listening to your father, being a soldier rather than a person. The kind of older sibling that always was in charge, that prioritized other people rather than themselves.

Then, he’d laugh about his stories with Lo’ak. He was the complete opposite of Neteyam from what you’d heard. Eye-rolls, human insults foreign to his own kind- the both of them always seemed to get into trouble, always acting first then thinking. It even made you laugh with how many dumb things they seemed to do together.

You weren’t dumb, everytime he spoke about Kiri he’d blush, making you raise an eyebrow. “If you’re lucky you might be the first human to have a full on hybrid kid” You said, making him playfully hit your shoulder as he told you to shut your mouth. You could tell how much he liked her- i mean, it seemed a little bit weird at first, but then you realized she made him happy.

And Tuk was the one he spoke the least of, as most stories consisted of him following along to play childish games with her. But she did sound like a great kid.

It made you feel… Bad.

You stared at Spider now, his hands clenched, like he was about to fight his way out, barely contained.

He saw his loved ones. To him you were still sort of a stranger, just an extension of Quaritch. And he had seen what Quaritch is capable of as they burnt those villages in the reef, did he think you were just like him? After witnessing that he did seem to become more distant from you.

You wanted to tell him you weren’t like Quaritch.

To you he was still a ghost of a man, he wasn’t your father, not anymore.

Did you… Look like him? Did he see the same violence in your eyes? You did do stuff you regretted while following orders, you knew better than to say no. But deep down you regretted them, did he know that? 

The thought made you feel bad. Empty

But the dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn’t. Your guilt will not purify you.

You had to act. 

You could see how they had been captured. The forest Na’vi Spider had told you about- your heart breaking as you saw that one of them was a little girl, being roughly pushed by the recom team. You looked around as Quaritch pointed his gun against the head of one of the Na’vi, trying to find a way to somehow distract the people so you could… Do something, anything.

You were too lost in thought to even realize Spider had gone running towards them, to no avail, as the soldiers quickly immobilized him along with the other Na’vi, and Quaritch ordered Spider to be brought back to the bridge.

Now, you had never experienced an earthquake, but you were pretty damn sure this was something very alike. As the giant Tulkun emerged from the water, you couldn’t help but to run towards the glass and stare as it came down, crushing down soldiers and resisting bullets as if they were nothing.

Panic erupted inside, everyone running, checking systems- now, this was your moment. You turned around and locked eyes with Spider, and then looked down at the RDA embroidered logo on your uniform.

You had to choose one. The logo on your tank top seemed heavier than any gun you’ve ever held in your life- The ground shook as the Tulkun hit anything it could reach, men screaming, bullets raining.

You felt… Fear. You looked back at Spider, and saw a hint of hope in his eyes, that you’d run the final mile for him, to finally cut the leash Quaritch had on you.

You looked down again at the logo, and realized something.

The RDA was all you knew, your survival, your structure, your purpose. But it never chose you back.

In front of you, you finally had someone who had chosen you, Spider. Your legs moved by themselves towards the fire extinguisher, and with a sharp scream you charged the man at the controls and brought it down hard against his head, knocking him out- the sick crunch of the moment the metal hit his head resonating in your brain as you then destroyed the controls, adrenaline pumping through your veins.

As some men ran towards you, grabbing your arms, Spider burst into action, hitting them and getting them off of you.

By the time they had overpowered you two, it was too late, the whole ship moving forward and crashing into the smaller ships below. It brought everyone to the floor, and alarms began blasting as the ship began flooding.

You hit your head against the edge of the central display table in the midst of all the chaos.

There was no sound, as if the alarms, the screams or even the Tulkun had gone quiet. Just a blinding flash of white behind your eyelids, as if someone had turned on a lightbulb inside your brain.

It probably lasted a second, probably more, probably less. But then it all came back with a high pitched ring.

As you opened your eyes you saw everyone running, screaming EVACUATE NOW! , but you simply stayed down on the floor, as every small movement made the whole world tilt, as if you were the gravity center, and everything moved with you.

You tried pushing yourself up but your arms felt like noodles, barely even reacting to your command.

Your vision wasn’t blurry, but double, as if your eyes were a camera that had been dropped to the floor. The flashes of red from the alarms blared, only making your headache worse each second.

Something- no, someone helped you up. Spider- well, it looked like two of him, looking worriedly back at you.

“Shit- hey, look, look at me” Spider said as he helped you sit up amidst the chaos. His hands touched behind your head and he cursed as his fingers returned wet and red.

His face swam in and out of focus- one second clear, the next split in two.

“You’re bleeding” He said, cursing under his breath. It was now his time to help you- as the people evacuated, he passed your arm over his shoulders and grabbed you by your side, lifting you up- your headache worsened x10 with the movement.

If it wasn’t for the smell of salt and burnt cables, you wouldn’t have realized you were already out of that room, apparently everyone was too busy running away to realize you two had snuck out.

“Stay with me, don’t you dare pass out” Spider said as he used all his strength to move you, as your feet barely moved, mostly dragging on the floor.

The alarms kept blaring, the cold sea water making your boots wet and heavier.

You could then see blue figures, and for a minute you thought you might have been hallucinating, if not for the moment they spoke.

“Spider!” One said, you couldn’t make much out of him, as it was a blurry shape in your eyes.

“She’s hurt, it’s bad” Spider said, his voice echoing in your head. You felt your stomach do a flip as one of the figures lifted you in their arms. Suddenly you felt like you were a bird perched on the tallest tree.

You could hear them talking, but their voices mixed.

Another explosion made the whole ship move, and you were all standing just a few feet from the deployment bay, where all the machinery was kept.

The bullets being shot resonated in your head, as if it was a box and there was a ping pong ball constantly hitting the walls. 

You looked back- you could recognize Lyle’s blue bald head, and another of the blue shapes with you was shooting back at him.

Lo’ak, you assumed, pushed you towards the deck, but Spider’s grasp failed him, making you fall to the floor as he was already falling to the water.

You rolled on your side, a strong hand grabbing your shoulder and lifting you up- Lyle.

The one that was previously shooting was running towards the deck as well- Neteyam, from what you could remember.

Lyle pointed his rifle towards him- it was a clear shot. But you… Had to act, somehow. The blade in Lyle’s belt was just next to your head, so ignoring all the red flags in your head as you grabbed the blade and stabbed it on his thigh, managing him to lose his steady aim and shoot to the air instead of Neteyam.

Neteyam didn’t lose any seconds as he jumped, falling to the water with his brother and Spider.

Lyle stepped back and pushed you away, cursing but you could barely make out his words now.

As your back hit the floor this time the world didn’t flash in lights and felt like it was constantly doubling- no, it dimmed, slowly fading to black.

The deck felt cold against your head, which felt on fire. The alarms slowly faded to a hum, the vibrations of people running and the motors failing lulling you to sleep, but you weren’t tired- but you felt like it was moment, the moment to finally give in and sleep.

Then, everything went black.

—

Neteyam landed on the cold water, the water around him turning red. From the chaos he wasn’t sure how bad the wound was, except for the burning pain on his shoulder.

“Bro!” Lo’ak shouted, moving Neteyam over his Ilu, Spider getting there as well. 

“I think I got shot” Neteyam said through gritted teeth, his hands moving to where the pain was worse, red staining his blue hands.

They swam, reaching a nearby stone- Jake soon enough reaching it as he saw them.

He lowered his bow as he got on the stone, dropping it as he saw Neteyam bleeding. “You got hit” He stated, moving Neteyam to see his back as well. The bullet had gone through his shoulder- not reaching bone, but it did grab meat and muscle.

Jake ordered Lo’ak to press his hands against the bleeding wound, quickly making sure neither Lo’ak or Spider had any more injuries.

As Jake searched for any other wounds, that’s when Spider realized.

One, Lo’ak.

Two, Neteyam.

Three, himself.

There was one missing. Spider’s head snapped towards the burning and sinking ship. “Where is she?” He said, feeling panic burn through his chest.

“Who?” Said Jake, clearly confused. Of course, he was quite lost on the whole family lore of Spider- 

“She didn’t jump- She… she was still up there!” Spider’s mask fogged as his breathing became more labored because of the distress.

“His sister- fuck. She hit her head I think, bad, she seemed out of it” Lo’ak said, furrowing his brows.

“Spider-” Jake began, his hand going to Spider’s arm. “I have to go back” Spider said, but Jake’s grasp didn’t let him.

“Let go! She’s still up there!” Spider said as he continued pushing, to no avail.

The ship groaned, fire mixing with smoke as it slowly sank.

Jake’s shoulders tensed. He couldn’t risk also getting Spider injured, with Neteyam already in this state. “Son, if she was still conscious, she would’ve jumped. If she was still breathing, she would’ve surfaced. That ship is going down!” Jake said harsher than what he wanted it to sound.

The implication was enough to make Spider stop struggling to pull free.

Spider looked at Lo’ak, who simply looked down at Neteyam. “And you don’t dishonor that by throwing your life away too.” Jake added, letting go of Spider.

“Can you hear me corporal?” Said the voice through the comms.

Kiri and Tuk. “Where are your sisters?” Jake said to Lo’ak, who was still pressing down on Neteyam’s wound.

“I-I don’t know” Said Lo’ak, his voice cracking.

Tsireya, who had recently arrived, spoke for him. “They’re on the boat” She said, her face etched with worry.

“Same deal as before, you for them” Quaritch continued. “They- They're at the moon pool, at the well deck, midships” Spider said as he grabbed Jake’s arm. This meant a chance of going back. “I can take you there” He said, already standing up.

—

Quaritch stared through the scope as Jake and Spider moved towards the sinking ship. “Hold fire” He ordered.

“Let’s get this guy, it’s what we came here for!” Quaritch said to the recoms, who quickly got into position.

However, Jake didn’t go straight to them. He didn’t trust Quaritch’s words of letting his girls go if he surrendered.

Quaritch stood there, waiting for Jake to arrive, his tail flicking annoyed.

“How’s she doing?” He asked Lyle, who had recently brought your unconscious self. Lyle crouched next to you, checking your pulse. Blood had dried on your neck and hair.

“Breathing.” Lyle said, standing back up, slightly faltering from the open wound in his thigh from your previous stabbing.

Quaritch stepped closer, raising an eyebrow. He had seen traumatic injuries before, of course, it never looked pretty. He crouched next to you, hearing your shallow breathing. “Corporal, open your eyes” He said.

At your lack of response, he opened your eyelids with his hands, looking at the different dilation in each eye. “Damn it” He said under his breath-

“Get me a medkit” He ordered. He had some spare minutes before Jake arrived.

A soldier handed him a medkit, and Quaritch quickly got to work, as if it was another soldier- trying to detach himself as much as possible from the truth. It was his very own daughter.

“C’mon squirt, you don’t get to check out on me- Not now” Quaritch mumbled.

You opened your eyes lightly, they were unfocused. Your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out.

For a moment, it wasn’t the bloodied passed out woman he was seeing, but the little girl who’d chase him all day at the base.

He had to make a decision. At any second Jake could use the chance that he was distracted to attack. He was losing valuable time.

Quaritch let go of you, and stood up. “Stabilize her until we get Sully. She can get help back at the base” He said, a soldier going to keep your head up.

“He’s not walking off this time.” Quaritch said as he returned to stare through the scope, trying to see where Jake would be hiding on the ship.