♔ … ❝ GUARD. ❞

do i regret him? i regret him.  i regret his neck. the way the evening set upon it, i regret his charm, his ‘you can talk to me about anything.‘  his eagerness, his books, his shoes, his knees, his bow legs, his arrow tongue. his ‘i can’t talk about this now.’ his ‘meh’. his changing. his sacrilege, his ‘it doesn’t matter’s’. his strength. his arms. his weakness. his heart. his history books. his refusal to listen. his friendship. his wanting more. his love. his heartache. his accepting. his leaving. his coming back. my olive branch. his changing. his changing. his slackness. his ‘no’.  his ‘i miss you’. his drunk. his drunk. his sober. his absence. his repetition. his rinsing and repeating. his ‘we’re friends.’ his flirting. his absence. his trying. his failing. his time wasting. his seeking advice. his ignoring advice. his forgetfulness. his slackness and slackness. my trying to understand. my ignoring. my loving. my hating. my forgetting him. my friend. my friend. my ignorance. his ignorance. we’ll never talk about this. we’ll never talk about this. our scared. our pathetic. our coward behaviour.  (two cowards should never be in the same room) my soulmate. my soulmate. his growing brain and his shrinking heart. i regret. i repent.  what was the point. what was the point. i regret. i regret. if it ends like this. i regret.

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.

And suddenly, the monster in him falls silent as he rests his head on her lap.

she spun herself a crown of gold, thrones of bones and citadels. to the deaf stars she screamed:make me queen or i’ll make you bleed.

you were born in a summer storm drops of honey on your tongue i was born in a winter weary snowflakes melting in my lungs i suppose it’s only fair, my dear that you were to be my sunshine my guiding light in the storm of life the true north on my heart’s compass for even kings of winters and wars have hearts, have loves, have summers i’d fight for our entire kingdom – but i would only die for you.

xiv.

screw stardust; be iron instead. be the element that creates stardust. be the element that causes the largest stars to explode. be the element that is strong enough to collapse an entire universe.

Being the smallest one out of your group of friends like