kate 🍏🐛

She didn't respond.

"Have you eaten?"

"Not since yesterday. I don't have much of an appetite."

"That's unfortunate. Would you like anything?" They asked as they began picking up the luggage for her.

"-Thanks," She thanked them, "…No. I just want to sleep."

"I think you should spend time in the garden first. You always feel better afterwards."

"No-" "No, really.. I think you should. You're so… sad. Don't go to sleep so sad. It's not good for you."

They weren't going to drop it. She relented and gave in. "…Alright."

The friend poured a honey-colored tea mixture into their teacup and the girl's teacup. They were both in a greenhouse of sorts at the heart of the garden. Pink and orange flowers circled them, and the warm light from above enveloped them.

"…If you don't mind," The friend began, "Can I… know about what troubles you? What happened?"

" I got into it with my mother, and she sent me away for the summer. She didn't care about where I went, just that I did. I don't think my father even knows where I am right now." The girl hiked her feet into the chair, placing her arms on her knees and hiding her face in the little cove between her thighs and her underarms.

"You are twenty. Why does that concern either of them?"

"Because," She started, then sighed. "I'm more worried about my father being worried about me. If he even returns from his duties fast enough, that is. As I said, I don't think he knows."

"Sol." The friend said.

"Kobayashi." The girl replied.

"I think you're hiding something from me."

"Even if I didn't, what could you fix, Kobayashi? Tell me. I'm tired, and I don't want to think about it again. I'm just trying to humor you."

"I'm not trying to push you," Kobayashi cautiously replied, "I'm trying to understand… so I can help you. I don't understand… emotional creatures like yourself. It's hard for me to tell."

"…My mother wants me to marry Elashor. I've never liked him. He just… I don't know how to put it into words. I hate being around him. He reminds me so much of her, and maybe that's why she likes him."

Kobayashi removed their overcoat and placed it on the back of their chair.

"I couldn't even stomach packing much. A lot of my clothing, jewelry, and fragrances come from him. I don't have as much as a nightgown and other little things a woman needs." Sol continued.

Kobayashi listened intently. Their heart ached hearing about her distress. It was an… unsettling feeling. It had the same intensity as pain, but it didn't have its sting.

"I-I don't know, I guess… I guess…" Sol tried to continue. Her face began to fall, and her hands rushed up to her face as if she were trying to catch the tears before they left her face. Kobayashi reached over the table and caressed her upper arm.

Sol stands up and lifts her dress to make sure she doesn't trip. "I need to leave. I don't want to be awake anymore. I don't even want to think anymore. I'm just tired. I'm sorry." Kobayashi helplessly watched Sol try to compose herself. No matter how many times she straightened her face again, it kept crumbling under the weight of a possible, unwanted future.

"I'll show you to your room. I've already had the servants put your belongings there." They finally spoke, defeated.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

Through the long, drafty halls that held the fleeting warmth of the open windows, the echoing corridors, and up the ever-spiraling staircase, Sol was finally led to her room. Sol allowed herself to collapse on the bed, not caring about keeping up appearances around her close friend. She then felt the weight of said friend create a gentle dip in the bed. She turned her back, ashamed at the thought of letting herself cry again in front of them.

"Please don't shut me out. I'm sorry for making you remember what happened." Kobayashi began.

"Please, please stop apologizing. Kobayashi, it's never your fault. It's always me. I can't seem to keep it together, and you always have to comfort me like I'm a child. It's my fault for just standing there and getting yelled at. You aren't the problem." Sol assured them, while secretly chastising herself as she would in a mirror.

"Being angry at yourself is the problem." Kobayashi resolved. They lay next to her and wrapped their arm around her waist, bringing her closer to them. She let them.

"I should be angry. I have a right to be angry. Because- because I can't defend myself. I mean, I can, but I can't. When I try, my mind goes blank, and any argument I come up with just sounds stupid and short-sighted. Then, when it's over, I remember everything. When I try to resist things I don't want, I'm mocked and humiliated and made to feel like I am crazy for not wanting to be made someone's possession. I-"

"How can you defend yourself if you aren't allowed to?" Kobayashi asked.

…

"I don't know." Sol quietly replied. Still, Kobayashi could hear sniffling.

"…It will be difficult to accept, but you must accept that you will always be wrong to people like that. No matter what you say, it will be wrong. Why waste tears on people who clearly don't care that you are shedding those tears?" Kobayashi continued, now gently stroking Sol's hand.

"It's not on purpose. I love them, and I want them to love me. It's painful not to have someone love you back."

Kobayashi hummed in thoughtful consideration.

"Sometimes you have to live with difficult things, it seems." They finally said.

"Yes." Sol agreed, then went silent.

Sol allowed herself to be embraced by Kobayashi's warmth. A familiar, safe warmth. Still, she silently cried into the sheets, leaving a wet stain where her face should be. But she didn't know. Her exhaustion superseded her pain, and she let sleep rule over her.

"Do you know how long you've been sent away for?" Kobayashi asked, passing some foreign dessert over to Sol. The sun dipped under the horizon, leaving colorful hues of pink and blue to shine through the ornate floor-to-ceiling windows of the lounge. Sol sat in her nightgown on the opposite couch from Kobayashi.

"…No. At this point, I'm afraid to ask. It might be for the rest of the year." Sol replied as she took a few bits of the dessert for herself and passed the bowl back to Kobayashi.

"It was that bad?"

"It was worse than all the other times," Sol replied, then sighed. "I'm just… really tired."

"I'll let you stay for as long as you need." Kobayashi offered.

"I wouldn't want to be a burden to you. I could probably stay at my grandmother's estate."

"Why do you reject kindness from other people?" Kobayashi asked. Their tone wasn't accusatory or aggressive. It was actually even and maybe even curious.

"I'm not-"

"You are."

"No, it's just rude to overstay your welcome."

"Not if they offer you to stay as long as you want."

"You don't understand."

"How don't I understand?"

"People say things sometimes just to be nice. I learned that the hard way. I still don't get it."

"What do you mean?"

"When someone offers really selfless and kind things, they're usually expecting you not actually to take them up on the offer. Otherwise, if you do, they get angry with you."

"How stupid." Kobayashi scoffed.

"I know." Sol snickered a little.

"Do you think I am that way?" Kobayashi asked. Sol thought for a moment, lifting her gaze to the vaulted ceiling. She fiddled with the neckline of her lace nightgown.

"No. Actually, no…But I know you work in the business of debts."

"That doesn't mean I would be that way to you. You aren't some politician begging me for help."

"Kind of, I am. I have nowhere to go. I'm essentially homeless."

"If you're homeless, I have nothing to gain from you." Kobayashi attempted to reason.

Sol paused for a moment, her lips parted to speak when she was ready.

"It would be very easy to take advantage of someone who has nothing. Because they're at your mercy."

"I wouldn't do that to you. You know I wouldn't." Kobayashi again attempted to reason. Again, that intensity of pain without the sting bubbled up in their chest. They leaned forward, now sitting up.

"I know."

"…Maybe your brain does. But what about you?"

"What?"

"You're like a scared bunny. Whether or not the hand hits or caresses you, to you, it's still a hand."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It makes perfect sense. Just not right now."

"Then it doesn't make sense."

"When will you trust me?"

"I do trust you."

"So, please, let me take care of you. I don't want to hurt you."

"Why do you want to take care of me?"

"What's the point of doing the opposite?" Kobayashi replied. They didn't have a real reason… that they knew of. They just wanted to. "Why would I want to see you in pain? It does nothing for you. Do I need to prove myself to you? even after all this time?"

"No. I believe you." Sol began to stare at the fireplace and its dancing flames. She couldn't meet Kobayashi's gaze. The drenching of guilt put out the embers of what enjoyment she seemed to have had in months.

"I need to sleep." Sol stood up and dusted off crumbs from her nightgown.

"I think we should leave the estate for a while tomorrow. Isolation is driving you deeper into your mind. It's doing terrible things to you."

Sol gave Kobayashi one last gaze, then lowered it. After that, she went to retire to her room for the night.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

Kobayashi walked in the garden. Another sunny embrace by the sky was followed by the strongest of winds in the region. Kobayashi had unexpectedly received another guest, another close friend of theirs. This friend was of their same kind and of similar thinking. Where they differed was in how they handled the wispy, finicky nature of Earth or Earth-like creatures. This friend walked beside Kobayashi, entrenching themselves in the sad dramas of Sol in whispers.

Kobayashi never sought to disrespect Sol, only to find ways to help her. To them, it wasn't gossiping. It was merely a scientific dissection of her brain with another scholar.

"She really is a bunny. They're so easily scared."

"That is my concern," Koabayashi replied.

"Where is she right now?" The friend asked.

"She is resting. I think she is, but I did ask her to meet me here in the gardens today."

"This late in the day? It's almost time for brunch."

"I try to have her enjoy the day. But she seems so.. sad. And forcing her to try to enjoy the day seems to make it worse."

"Do you know why?"

"She goes to sleep sad, so she wakes up sad. I'm trying to have her rest with a relieved mind, but she resists. Like yesterday, she seemed uncomfortable that I had my arms open to her when she expressed that she had nowhere to stay. She thinks I'm going to hold her position over her head. I don't know why."

"I don't think she's resisting," The friend began, "…You said she came here because of her family, yes?"

"Correct."

"Maybe it has nothing to do with you."

"What could it be then?"

"Maybe your talks remind her of that pain she's clearly trying to get away from."

Kobayashi thought for a moment.

"Just try it. Stop talking about it for now, and maybe she'll come to you with it on her own. Maybe she feels trapped by it when she doesn't want to think about it."

"I am just trying to help her."

"Well, I know that. You have the most unnatural sense of care for a creature like her." The friend shrugged."

Hearing this, Kobayashi felt a jolt in their stomach that travelled to their chest. Their hands grew clammy as their body warmed. Then, they heard the soft, familiar voice of Sol.

"…Hello." Sol quietly greeted. Her eyes went to the other person with Kobayashi.

The friend bowed, and Kobayashi greeted her back.

"Sol, this is Artemis," Kobayashi began to introduce them, "Artemis, this is Sol."

Sol gave a short curtsey, and again, Artemis bowed.

Kobayashi's gaze lingered on Sol. The easter-yellow dress billowing in the wind reminded them of the sun. The kind of sun you see in different pieces of art across time and cultures, but the familiarity and beauty also stay the same, no matter how it's drawn. That's how they thought of her.

"I'm happy you decided to join us in the garden." Artemis smiled. "What empire do you come from?"

"Pâtissière." Sol nervously replied. "I- I'm the princess. I'm the princess of Patissere."

"Ah. Impressive."

"What were you and Kobayashi discussing before I came?"

"Life, really. It was… boring. Maybe you can offer something interesting to talk about?"

Sol panicked. The hot, bright sun felt less like the general atmosphere and more like a spotlight. She paused for a long time. Each passing second made her feel more and more like she wanted to be swallowed by the Earth.

"S-sorry, I couldn't think of anything." Sol stumbled over her words.

"No problem," Artemis replied, and began to speak about something else to Kobayashi. Although it was over, the lingering humiliation stayed with Sol. Why couldn't she speak? She always had so much to say. Yet, when she finally got the chance to speak, her mind went blank. She felt stupid. So utterly stupid and illiterate. She never had the right words. Despite being hailed as the heir, the leader of her own people, she couldn't withstand a simple conversation between friends. She was worthless. All the hope others looked to her for was misplaced. Surely, someone as capable as a future ruler of an empire should be able to speak with other people on equal ground. Worthless.

As Artemis and Kobayashi got caught up in their conversation, Sol quietly slipped away to a secluded part of the garden. She sat down behind one of the rosebushes to conceal herself and breathed a sigh of relief. She shook her head as she tried to wake it from the deep slumber of condemnation; she felt it sinking further and further in. Nothing worked. Everything kept coming back. She hoped that being in a new environment might offset these feelings and give her a chance to be a new person. But, as always, the demons were packed with her belongings.

She tried to let the wind carry her thoughts away, but they were as steadfast as the weakest of baobab trees. Her lip trembled, and she squeezed her eyes shut so tightly that her head began to feel like it was going to burst.

Sol heard footsteps making their way to her. She thought about moving away. She wondered who it was and if they could see her. A part of her would like to be seen crying. To be asked what was wrong and to be cradled and comforted like her sister was whenever she'd so much as shed a tear.

She just wanted to be held. But that was childish. Nothing even happened to her.

Even as she debated her options, she made no effort to move.

She just sat there.

"Sol. Sol?" Kobayashi called out. Sol didn't respond. She only looked at them in shame.

"Are you okay? Why did you leave?"

"I just felt tired." Sol partially lied.

"It is rude to disappear like that. I was talking to you, and you weren't even there. It was quite embarrassing-" Kobayashi attempted to joke, but when they looked at her, they only saw tears making their way down Sol's face. Kobayashi felt that intense feeling in their chest again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just-" Sol began to break up.

"I'm plain and uninteresting. I have no place here." Sol covered her head with her hands, sitting in the grass behind a large rosebush. "I couldn't handle a simple conversation. My mother might have been right when she said that without my position, I am worthless."

"Nonsense," Kobayashi furrowed their eyebrows. "No created creature is worthless." They knelt beside her.

"That's just the thing. Of course, no created creature is worthless, but I am- I wasn't created, I happened. I wasn't created out of love. It was a happening. The closest thing a child has to God is their mother and father. To know that one who created you doesn't want you is like saying God did not want you. Some days, it feels like my existence is damned." Sol began to grip her hair, now sobbing. She began to pull at her beautiful, soft hair in jagged and unpredictable motions. Kobayashi grabbed her wrists and forced them to a halt.

They forced her hands down to her lap and looked at her in her puffy, glossy eyes.

"You operate like everyone already hates you. Don't you know? You sabotage yourself when you think this way." Kobayashi replied.

"I'm sure I embarrassed my family when I wasn't able to talk. Talking. I failed at talking. I'm supposed to be proud and bold like they are, and I can't even do simple things."

"It's a skill that can be worked on. You are not hopeless or worthless because of a flaw. Everyone has flaws."

"But I have too many of them, and that's what makes me unlikable."

"If only you knew about how many people liked you. How many of us love you?" Kobayashi paused.

"I know what you said about your parents being the closest to God, but it's important to know that your mother is not God. You can't believe everything she says because she is fickle. She loves you when you obey and hates you when you even slightly go against her. It isn't just her, but a lot of creatures are like that. Forgive yourself, and forgive her regardless of whether or not she forgives you. You can only hope for that, but don't let her take you down with her."

Kobayashi gently let go of her wrists and moved their own hands to hers. "Come back. There's an open spot for you; you don't even have to talk… I just…" Kobayashi began to feel that jittery feeling in their stomach once again.

"I want you around me. T-that's what I'm trying to say. No more philosophical talk, I just want you around me. I missed you. So much. You're such a lovely presence that my home feels empty without you. I hate to see you so sad. You know, you and I are more similar than you think." Kobayashi's breath trembled. They realized that their hands began to sweat again, and an internal heat began to rise the more they spoke. Sol stayed silent.

They both let the wind carry their thoughts. Sol allowed herself to be helped up by Kobayashi, and they walked in silence to meet Artemis under a trellis.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

Late in the evening, Kobayashi saw Artemis off. And, at Kobayashi's pleading, Sol did too.

As they waited for the dinner to be prepared, they both decided to lounge in a private chamber close to Kobayashi's bedroom. Listening to soft music, Sol allowed herself to relax.

"Where exactly did you go after our time in school?" Sol softly spoke over the hum of the music.

"Well… as all of my kind do, we go into the trade of money," Kobayashi replied.

"That's vague."

"I know." Kobayashi teasingly hummed and smiled.

"All trades make money."

"Not all."

"What do you say about actors and actresses?"

"Once they age out of it, it's over for them."

"Oh, how rude." Sol lightly hit Kobayashi with her fan, causing them to laugh.

"You're so curious. Why does it matter? As long as I make enough."

"Fair, but I need to make sure you aren't killing people." Sol half-joked.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that."

"So is that a no?"

"..."

"Kobayashi!"

Kobayashi gave in and laughed even louder than last time. They had one of those laughs that you could hear in their body. It was so infectious and happy. Sol couldn't help but begin to laugh.

"Fine, keep your secrets. It's too much of a hassle to reveal them anyway." Sol conceded.

"That's the spirit." Kobayashi lay down on the couch. A pillow was propped up to keep their upper back and head elevated.

"I'm just curious, silly."

"What's the saying? Ah… never ask a man his salary, a woman her age…"

"Oh, heavens." Sol rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. She closed her fan as Kobayashi giggled.

"What? No, don't stop fanning me." They playfully groaned.

"Stop being annoying!"

"Well, that's like asking a bird to stop flying."

"Which is completely optional," Sol countered, "They have legs; they do not need to fly."

"You like to argue."

"No, it's you who likes to argue."

"I only find fallacies in the things you say."

"That's- hey!"

Kobayashi laughed again. Sol got up and made her way over to Kobayashi. She replaced the pillow they were lying on with her lap. She opened her fan again and began to flap it.

"You refuse to fan me over there, so you come over to more directly service me?" Kobayashi gave a sly smile.

"You're complaining?"

"Not at all. I might prefer it this way."

"Well, that's because you're spoiled"

"I'm spoiled?!" Kobayashi faked an indignant tone.

"Yes! Because I keep giving in to your harsh demands… You work me like a slave. Poor and sweaty in the sun."

"-And I'll whip you if you stop."

"Careful, I might like it."

Kobayashi's eyes widened in surprise at her little comeback. Finally seeing her triumph, Sol barked out a laugh. Kobayashi gave in and laughed along with her. It was so nice finally hearing her lovely laugh. After all this time, it was just as sweet as the first time they heard it.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

A few weeks passed, and the light, gentle showers tempered the rising heat. But the rain did nothing to cool the heat between the two young friends. Both of them sat under a gazebo in the middle of the garden, surrounded by cream-orange colored roses.

This time, they were eating cinnamon-infused raisin bread with cream cheese to spread on it. For their drink? pink lemonade. They sat at a small iron bistro table, chairs just for two. The set was white and featured an elaborate rose design in it. Kobayashi looked back at the garden as Sol quietly ate her slices of bread.

"You know," Kobayashi began, "These roses remind me of you."

"Really?" Sol looked up at Kobayashi. Today, she was wearing a silk, baby-pink dress with rose motifs at its hems. It was even etched into the laces of her train.

"Yes. When I first started this garden, I wanted it to be all of the same rose… But I think it's more special to have it at this spot. Our spot." Kobayashi looked back at Sol.

"I picked the peach roses because they reminded me of you." Kobayashi thoughtfully said.

"Nonsense. They were here before I ever came here." Sol shut them down.

"No, really. After we parted ways, I missed you. And that's not fair. I always saw you with those flowers. Flower crowns, armlets, ringlets, the flowers you kept in your dorm. Remember that I got this estate before we both graduated. So no, it's not nonsense." Kobayashi huffed the last part. Sol softly smiled, and her face flushed ever so slightly.

"You pay a lot of attention to me. It's like you're an artist, and I am a muse. Shakespeare wrote a poem about that, didn't he?"

"Sonnet 38? Yes." Kobayashi replied without a second thought.

"Oh, how romantic. You know the exact one I was talking about." Sol teased.

"We took drama together, don't act too full of yourself." Kobayashi fired back. "Although I am a little annoyed we never got to do Romeo and Juliet."

"It's for the better that we didn't. It didn't end well for either of them."

"You're afraid an old poem is going to curse us. Aww… You really do care about me." Kobayashi gently poked at Sol.

"Quiet, or I'll throw you in the rain." Sol threatened, sitting up straight now.

"As if. The princess who's needed me to do the heavy lifting all her life is going to put me out? That's cute."

Pouting, Sol got up. With a childish 'hmph!', she bunched up her dress so she wouldn't trip. She tipped her head upward and turned away from Kobayashi in one sharp motion, and began to walk out in the rain.

"Ah, are you going to bask in the rain with the other peach roses?" Kobayashi called out in a teasing tone.

"I'm going back inside and sleeping in your bed! But I'll get wet first, so it'll be uncomfortable!"

Kobayashi rushed outside. When Sol realized what they were doing, she began to run too. With excited, shrill pleas for mercy. They ran in circles around the gazebo and eventually deeper into the garden. With Kobayashi closing the distance between themselves and Sol, she began to panic.

Sol looked back. Since she wasn't paying attention, she slipped on the grass. The dirt itself was in a strange state between mud and solid dirt. Her heels dug into it, leaving clumps of land stuck to the bottom of her shoes. She fell backwards with a thud. Kobayashi, not being able to stop in time, tripped over Sol's legs.

After the initial shock wore off, Sol pointed her finger and laughed at Kobayashi. Groaning, they picked themselves up. Their pristine white shirt and vest were ruined by the dirt, and their ego was bruised by the equally damaging knowledge of her laughter.

"Now we're pigs!" Kobayashi exclaimed. This time, their disgust was more visible, and their annoyance was palpable. Sol laughed to the point that tears began to stream down her face.

"This isn't funny, mud will never come out of this!" Kobayashi pinched their nose in frustration.

"Oh, please don't be mad." Sol scooted closer to Kobayashi. She attempted to cup their cheek with one hand, but Kobayashi resisted.

"Oh, don't be like that." Sol cooed.

"My arm hurts," Kobayashi commented.

"So, let me help you," Sol replied. "Give me your arm."

Kobayashi obeyed. Sol began to rub the injured arm.

"Maybe next time, don't start chasing me as you do." Sol lectured Kobayashi as she began to massage the arm.

"You love being chased. As I said, you're a spoiled princess."

"And if I outsourced the job of attending to me to anyone else, you would get angry." Sol hummed.

"Well, of course. I have a right to it."

"Rite of passage or Right of land? Was it earned or did I give it to you?"

Kobayashi leaned in, their forehead almost touching Sol's. They raised both of their hands to her face and cupped it. With their thumbs, they gently caressed her cheeks. "I would hope it was a gift from you."

Sol paused. Then cracked a smile. "You can't try to smooth-talk me after eating dirt."

"But I can. I am right now. I am, and you aren't resisting." Kobayashi smirked. "So, by that logic, your standards are incredibly low."

Sol playfully pushed them away, laughing. She tried to appear angry, but she just couldn't muster what she needed to do so. "Come on. We need to get inside before we get sick. You're soaked, I'm soaked, and it's uncomfortable."

Kobayashi got up first and offered their hand to her. They slipped a couple more times before successfully standing up. They made sure to collect their little snack from earlier and retreated to the warmth inside.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

Later that same day, and into the early hours of the next, Sol lay awake in her bed. Her room was too cold, and her bed was too hot. She wondered what her sweet Kobayashi was doing. Sol sat up and smoothed her white nightgown. It had a sheer white overlay with roses as its etched pattern. Her sleeves were made the same way, and their shape bloomed. It resembled a classic princess sleeve. To finish them off, they had blue lace tied into a neat bow on the edge that meets the mid-part of the arm.

Sol slid off her bed. Her feet accidentally touched the cool tiles of her bedroom, making her retract them out of instinct. She reached over, placed her slippers directly in front of her feet, and stood up in them. She made her way out of her room. The only thing she took with her was a book.

Sol gently nudged the door to Kobayashi's room open. She saw them on their side, with their hair in a messy tangle. Their nightclothes were slightly unbuttoned, and sweat glistened on what Sol could see of their chest.

Sol climbed up on the bed and lay beside them. The messy and strewn-about nature of the bed offered a strange sense of comfort to her. A part of her wished that she could sleep here instead of on her own. Strange. Very strange.

Was she not begging to be left alone almost a month ago? A lot can change in so little time.

Then, Sol suddenly had the bright idea.

Sol set the book beside her and leaned over Kobayashi. They frowned in their sleep, as if they could detect the gentle breeze of Sol's breath on their skin. Sol bucked her eyes and kept whispering, 'Hi'. Over and over again.

Kobayashi began to move, and their face wrinkled with confusion and discomfort. When they finally opened their eyes, the deepest terror Sol had ever seen on anyone's face colored theirs. Kobayashi pushed Sol away, almost making her fly off the bed. Kobayashi, for good measure, threw some of their pillows at her.

"A-are you trying to finish the job?" Sol could barely get out. She wheezed as if she were a king who saw a donkey eating figs.

"What are you doing here?" Kobayashi's voice cracked.

"I wanted to see you- to see if you had trouble seeing as I did."

"Well, I was. But I finally managed to get to sleep- until you came!" Kobayashi threw one more pillow at Sol.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Sol threw her hands up in surrender. Kobayashi huffed.

"Now, as punishment, I want you to stay the rest of the night with me."

"Aww… no, not with your sweat-soaked sheets."

"They're not soaked." Kobayashi indignantly replied.

"So they're sprinkled?"

"Shut up and lie down."

"But I'm bored…!"

"Lay. Down."

Sol finally obeyed. Kobayashi wrapped their arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Maybe you were actually sent to me as help. For sleep."

"But I brought a book for us."

"You are unusually active and chatty at night. You little owl."

"I thought you loved it when I spoke."

"When I want to talk, yes, I do. Because you talk so little."

"Well, I'm chatty now."

"So spoiled."

"Please don't start this again-"

"You're right, I won't. I'll be the spoiled one this time. How about you read that book of yours to me? I'm sure hearing a gentle voice read to me will help me sleep."

"But what about me?"

"Trapped 'till morning."

Sol rolled her eyes.

"Please? I'll do the same for you in the afternoon when you crash."

"…Fine."

Sol picked up her book and flipped to the first page. It was a book about animals, oddly enough. Sol detailed the species; its name, where it came from, what family it belonged to, how and when it was discovered… everything. Kobayashi nestled their face into the nape of Sol's neck and soon fell asleep.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

The birds chirped as the pastel watercolors of the sky filled the room. The golden, warm sun gently nudged its namesake first. Once Sol woke up, she turned and nudged Kobayashi. Kobayashi groaned and turned their back to her, but Sol hovered over them and continued to nudge.

"…Keep reading…" Kobayashi mumbled.

"No. It's morning now, and I want to eat."

"…You can't eat by yourself?"

Sol flicked their shoulder. Kobayashi let out a small 'ow' before sitting up.

"Of course not," Sol replied.

Kobayashi stretched. After a moment of losing themself in a stare at nothing, they got up. They smoothed their hair and began making themselves presentable. Sol sat on the bed, watching them.

"Do you mind? I have to change… And you do too, that's no way to present yourself to others."

"We're not receiving anyone. Why can't we stay in our pajamas?"

"You never know. Especially for someone like me." Kobayashi shrugged as they began to take off their shirt. Sol quickly averted her gaze as she felt a heat creeping up her face. Sol left the room in a flustered hurry.

About half an hour passed. Kobayashi and Sol sat in the solar room of the estate. For today's breakfast, the two were served blueberry scones with coffee. Sol let a few sugar cubes dissolve in her coffee just before adding half of another one. Kobayashi raised an eyebrow and held back a chuckle.

"You have quite the sweet tooth."

"Bitter coffee is disgusting, Kobayashi. I don't see how you drink it like that."

"Coffee that's too sweet is just chocolate milk at that point." Kobayashi shrugged.

"You don't like chocolate milk?"

"Not when I want coffee, no."

"You would greatly benefit from just one sugar cube in yours. Come on, try mine." Sol offered, pushing her teacup closer to Kobayashi. They only pushed it back, shaking their head.

"Mm-mm."

"Just a sip. It won't kill you."

"It won't kill me, but it might make my blood sugars surge."

"I didn't know your kind was concerned about things like that."

"Any living thing with blood is concerned about how blood functions in their body, and what's happening to it. I urge you to be more mindful, too."

"Oh, don't lecture me like you're my father or something."

Kobayashi shrugged. "That statement alone tells me that whatever he says is correct."

Sol smacked her lips and rolled her eyes. "You're always supposed to be on my side!"

"In public, yes, but privately, I have to correct you."

"You really don't."

"Consider it a favor."

"Quiet."

Kobayashi smiled. "-Besides," they continued, "you still need to finish reading to me."

"You're really going to carry that over from last night?"

"I didn't get a full night's rest, and when I finally fell asleep, you disrupted that. I'm quite tired. Come on, let me hear your lovely voice read to me. It's not too hot outside. It's perfect."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's a favor. You owe me because I care enough to correct you." Kobayashi stuck out their tongue.

"A favor I didn't ask for!"

"But I still did it because I'm so generous and kind to you." Kobayashi's grin widened.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

Sol finally relented. "Fine. Fine, I'll do it. Hurry up and get a picnic basket and blanket before I change my mind."

"Annndddd I still find myself doing things for you." Kobayashi laughed. Then, they reached over and pinched Sol's soft cheeks. Before she could say anything, they quickly got up and went away to prepare the impromptu picnic.

Kobayashi lay in Sol's lap, feeding themselves and occasionally Sol the mix of fruits and berries they had brought. Sol wore a baby blue satin dress. Its form was more natural and modest compared to the others. Its details were only in the lacework of the hems and edges of the sleeves. This time, instead of roses etched into the lace, it was fruit. Sol wore a peach-colored ribbon on her neck to match her heels.

"Can I read something else? This is boring." Sol sighed. She picked a cherry from the bowl and popped it into her mouth. She spat out the pit and put it aside.

"Maybe. What do you propose?" Kobayashi asked.

"You like poetry. Let me read some to you."

"Yes, but do you have the passion to read it the way I'd want you to?"

"Of course I do, you stuck-up lemon," Sol replied. Kobayashi only laughed.

"You say I'm spoiled, but you're incredibly picky!" Sol spoke up again, putting her hands on her hips.

"I'm not picky, I just have standards, rosepeach." Kobayashi defended themselves.

"As much as I like you, you just aren't cut out for it." Kobayashi teased further, resting a hand on Sol's cheek. She only swatted it away.

"Isn't it bad enough you're lying in my lap while telling me I'm basically illiterate?" Sol asked.

"You're not illiterate; you can read."

"But I'm not very good at it?"

"I'm just teasing you." Kobayashi nestled their face closer to her stomach.

"You tease too much. It'll get you in trouble one day, mark my words."

"Yes, yes. Can you continue reading to me?"

"Hmph. No."

"Whyyy?" Kobayashi groaned.

"Because this is boring! I want to do something else."

"I don't have the energy to do anything else. I don't understand how you have so much energy." Kobayashi looked up at Sol. "We got the same amount of sleep."

"I… I'm not sure. I don't know, I was excited to see the morning sun. I don't get to watch it rise above the horizon that often." Sol wondered aloud.

Kobayashi gave a soft smile. Maybe Artemis was right- all they had to do was just… ease up. Let go. And now, they've been given the reward of watching Sol blossom like a rose.

"-Especially in the summer. The sun rises earlier than it normally does." Sol finished.

"No, rosepeach, that's just daylight savings," Kobayashi responded.

"You know what I mean." Sol rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid."

"Yes," Kobayashi began,

"Your saving grace is being around me." Kobayashi stuck out their tongue and was promptly slapped lightly on the forehead for it.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

The two stayed in the same area. It was now the afternoon, and they were both sprawled out on the picnic blanket. They pointed out clouds that looked like certain things, told stories to each other, and then… scooted closer to one another.

"…Can you imagine?" Kobayashi asked.

"Imagine what?"

"Empress Sol." Kobayashi announced with the gusto you'd expect from an announcer at an event.

"I can't. I may run away."

"If you do, run away here… with me."

The air was quiet between them for a moment, then Sol spoke up.

"I can't run into the arms of another person like that. It's a cop out."

"Who are you trying to prove yourself to?"

"Myself." Sol straightened her face in resolve.

"Who will rule your empire while you're away? Don't your people love you?"

"They love who they think I am. Besides, maybe my sister can rule when I'm away. Everyone acts like I'm invisible to them anyway, so does it matter?"

"But you were meant for the role. That's why you are the heir. No matter what people say." Kobayashi turned to Sol. "Don't let other people's actions ruin your destiny. Ultimately, it's up to you."

"Wise words from my personal philosopher." Sol snickered.

"No, I'm serious. Don't you know? We're in the same position."

"I think yours is a bit less restrictive. You aren't confined to a role or job."

"But the expectations are all the same." Kobayashi shrugged.

"It's your life; It's your time. Both are limited, so choose wisely." Kobayashi finished.

"Only if you do the same." Sol replied.

"Ah, don't tie your success to me."

"-And don't tie yours to me. We'll be together apart, and we can share in the burden of life if we both fail. In the same way, we can both share our joys, rather than going down in misery together."

Kobayashi heard her words, but didn't say anything back. They scooted closer to her until their bodies were touching. Sol supported herself on her elbows and rested on Kobayashi's chest. The sunrays seemed to part the clouds and gently rest on Sol's head. In the flyaways of her hair and the intense bloom and blurriness of struggling to even peer at the greatness of the sun, Kobayashi looked to Sol as if she were an angel sent just for them.

Kobayashi felt, in the pit of their chest, for the first time, something warm bloom and blossom like a rose. The petals escaped through the ridges and spaces of their ribs. Its stems wrap around their bones and take control of their body. A new desire of this parasite could only fill their mind; the desire to inhabit her body the same way air inhabits the lungs. The same way blood inhabits the heart. In the same way, veins inhabit the body, bringing feeling and the evidence of life to a person.

No one could take this dreadful and equally sweet feeling away from them. They briefly thought about death, and the only thing that filled their mind was Sol. Not about any concerns about what would happen to their estate, their name, whether or not they were notable in the annals of history… Only what would happen to Sol. How would she feel? What would she do? What would she say? Would she be safe?

If only they could go down in misery together. To have the heaving pain of both affection and sadness transcend the physical realm and bring them together like the force of magnets. If only they would both come to life with joy as if they were one body experiencing the strength of the winds of triumph atop a mountain.

The desire to completely throw away their carcass and gift their beating, bloody heart to Sol alone terrified Kobayashi. But it was their greatest joy, too.

"Only if you promise to be by my side through it all." Kobayashi finally spoke. Their words were so carefully fashioned as if to override what Sol had said.

"Always."

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

The moon shone on the tall windows of the estate, only leaving shadows behind the ridges and lines of the windows where the moon couldn't penetrate. The flourishing, green, and lush garden began to take on a hazy shade of fall. Some of the peach rose bushes were resilient and stayed green despite their slowly fading environment. The quiet pitter-patter of rain lulled Sol into a light slumber. Her body lay in such a way that she looked as if she were a muse for an old painting; her hand limp but still strong enough to grip her small book, her eyes gently shut and mouth slightly agape, and her hair perfectly laid about the silk pillows and sheets. She lay on her back, facing the windows.

Kobayashi walked in. Their robe loosely tied up, and their pajama pants were slightly dragging on the ground. They carefully moved about so that their slippers wouldn't wake Sol up. They sat on the side of the bed opposite where Sol was, and looked back at her with the deepest sense of affection never before seen on their face. They took off their slippers and climbed into bed, eventually making their way over to her. They sat over her and began to chant:

"The demons are coming. The demons are coming. The demons are coming. The demons are coming." -All while bucking their eyes. Sol woke up the same way Kobayashi did. First, it was a wrinkling of the face, then a frown, and then her eyes flew open with terror.

"THE DEMONS?!" Sol shrieked as she jumped back. Her head hit the headboard, and Kobayashi fell backwards laughing. Sol, too angry to realize the pain, began hitting Kobayashi with her pillows as hard as she could. She rolled them off the bed for good measure, but it didn't end there. She charged over to where Kobayashi was. Wheezing and desparelty trying to get up, they kept getting knocked back down by Sol.

"Okay- okay!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Kobayashi pleaded. Sol raised the pillow again, and Kobayashi quickly put out their hands. "Have mercy!"

Sol pouted and stormed back over to her side of the bed. Kobayashi climbed back on the bed and went to where she was. Sol turned away from Kobayashi each time they tried to hold her face, and snatched away her hand when they held it.

"Oh, please don't be like that. It's the perfect time to get close to someone, it's raining and cold! I need someone to keep me… warm~."

"Why did you say it like that?! Do you want to get punched or something?!" Sol sharply turned to face Kobayashi.

Kobayashi's grin widened, and their chuckling and giggling bothered Sol even more. They then opened their robe and enveloped Sol in it. "Now, we're together. And you're warm."

"I was warm before you did that."

"But I wasn't! And I'm so lonely."

"Is this payback for what happened a whole month ago?"

"Yes."

"Well. Now your punishment is that you have to be my personal pillow. You're very comfortable to lay on."

Kobayashi shrugged. "You say it like it's a punishment." Then, they smirked. "You can't be too harsh, though. You did the same thing. It's only fair I get my revenge."

Sol sighed. She patted the mattress as if Kobayashi were her dog. "Lay down. I'm sleepy."

Kobayashi obeyed, and Sol lay on top of them. She then pulled the blanket over the two.

"Now you talk."

"About what?"

"…I don't know."

"How about we just listen to the rain…? We don't always have to talk. Lying with you is… enough."

Sol cuddled up to Kobayashi, and they pulled her in with their free arm. A part of their mind wondered what it would be like to be skin-to-skin with her. Not in some lustful way, but in the way that a mother holds her baby close to her chest for the first time. To be so connected to someone that they trust you with their bare skin.

For now, her warmth was enough.

And they lay there. They lay for hours. It only got deeper and deeper into the night. The sky was a void with tiny sparkles of light from stars light-years away. The rain intensified, but it only drew the two young ones closer. Sol fell asleep again, and Kobayashi was left with their thoughts. Their future.

They hoped foolishly that this moment would last forever. They hoped that Sol would abandon her gilded cage and come running to them with open arms. But they knew her too well. She would stay, and she would conquer. The only question left was…

Would they let her conquer them, too?

Or would they fight back? A fight for control? dominance?

Kobayashi has no desire to rule over Sol. Quite the opposite.

Kobayashi didn't care how it ended up.

The only thing they were terrified of was…

… the thought of her forgetting them. The thought of someone else sweeping her off her feet.

Or worse

Some terrible tidal wave of an event sweeping Sol away from them forever, the water itself creating a vast divide between them.

The booming footsteps of guards multiplied in the hallway, waking Sol up with a jolt. The two quickly sat up, their heads facing the door. Incessant knocking on the bedroom door rang throughout the room.

"Come in." Kobayashi sat up straight.

One of the guards stepped in and bowed. "Mr. Monecrieffe is downstairs. He says he wants to speak with Sol privately… It's urgent."

Kobayashi and Sol looked at each other. A silent agreement formed between them, and Sol made her way downstairs with Kobayashi trailing behind her.

Kobayashi paced outside one of the private rooms of the downstairs area. After a few minutes, they heard the terrible sound of wailing. It was so loud that her words could briefly be heard through the walls. Kobayashi froze outside the door, trying to convince themselves not to barge in and ask what was wrong.

The door swiftly opened, bringing the muffled sounds of despair to full realization. Sol could barely stand up, and Monecrieffe was struggling to keep her standing up. Sol's face was hot to the touch, and her weight seemed to be too much for her legs to bear. The tears were so numerous it dripped on the floor in a wet mess. She could barely speak coherently.

Kobayashi rushed to her side. Instinctually, Sol clung to Kobayashi with all of her might. Her cries were muffled in their chest. At this very moment, they were afraid to even ask what happened. Monecrieffe solemnly stood in front of them and bowed his head.

"I'm sorry we had to meet this way," he said, before lifting his head upward again.

"I'm Jakob Monecrieffe, Sol's attendant & the royal chancellor." He began, then struggled to speak. "Her father, the Emperor… he-. Unfortunately, he is no longer with us... She needs to come home as soon as tomorrow."

It felt like the wind was knocked out of Kobayashi's chest. Suddenly, time itself seemed to be a foreign concept to them. Sol's tears stained Kobayashi's shirt, leaving more than a damp image of her face in it.

"A-are you sure?" was all Kobayashi could say. Dumbfounded, almost.

Monecrieffe only nodded.

Then, Sol hit the floor. Her body went completely limp. Some of the maids rushed to help her up, but before they could, Kobayashi picked her up themselves. Sol was barely awake.

"Does she have to leave tomorrow? I don't think she should be travelling like this." Kobayashi stumbled over their words. Something. Anything. Anything to not realize this horrific, unreal moment in their life.

Monecrieffe stayed quiet, then spoke again. "If she isn't well and lucid enough in the morning, it can be postponed a day. But no longer."

Sol suddenly began to thrash and kick. Manic screaming filled the room, as if she were a wild creature. "If it weren't for that BITCH, I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE! " She screamed. Kobayashi barely restrained her. Her wild thrashing and kicking, incidentally, ended up breaking some of the porcelain decor in the main hall. "This is ALL HER FAULT!" Sol continued to scream. Years of repressed, fiery hot rage and pain bubbled over and exploded. As hot as the surface of the sun was, so did her anger burn against her family, and especially her mother.

"Sol! Please!" Kobayashi pleaded as they continued to restrain her. Then, she collapsed again.

"I WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!" Sol wailed into her hands. The tearful exclamation ran so deep that she could only hope to breathe in a faint breath into her lungs. Kobayashi went down just as quickly as she did, only sitting beside her. They motioned for the others to leave and asked their servants to make arrangements for Monecrieffe.

They couldn't say anything.

They felt like they had cursed her.

That stupid, stupid thought.

Was it their fault?

Or a horrible coincidence?

These numbing thoughts ran through Kobayashi's body. They didn't realize that with each smooth caress of Sol's head and body, their hands shook.

How can someone's life change in one moment?

What if they weren't so selfish?

Maybe if they'd let her go earlier, instead of begging her to stay, she could have at least gotten closure.

How could they?

Maybe their creator was right about them. Pathetic.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

Two days later, Sol stood in her room. She packed her suitcases one dress at a time. One moment at a time. Sluggish and weary. Sol had to fight against the temptation of staring off into the abyss. Instead of being embraced by sunlight, the morning started in a cloudy, cold haze. Her room was just as drafty and dark as it seemed when she first arrived.

Kobayashi walked in. No sly, cheery greeting. The silence of pain only filled the gap between the two. Still, in her nightclothes, Sol sat on the edge of her bed. She couldn't bear to look at her suitcase. A part of her hoped that if she kept looking away, this would just be a dream. And she would wake up from this terrible dream, back in what she felt was her true reality in Kobayashi's arms.

Kobayashi silently made their way over to the suitcase. They picked up some of the dresses and began to fold them.

"Are you trying to rush me away?" Sol finally spoke.

"No." Kobayashi softly replied. "I'm helping you."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know."

"I don't want to leave."

"…I know. But.. you must."

"I don't want to leave." Sol's voice cracked, silencing her. She caught her face in her hands and began sobbing. Her now messy hair was the only curtain of dignity she could be afforded after everything. Kobayashi rushed and kneeled in front of her, gently sweeping her hair away.

"I know it's painful-"

"You don't know how painful it is. No one does. I can't 'just leave'. I can't just go back to normal. I'm waiting to wake up."

Kobayashi stayed quiet for a moment. Then, a while. Then, a long time.

"…You will live. I know it's the darkest hour right now, but rise above and shine like the morning sun."

Kobayashi's words soured on Sol's ears. All it did was make Sol cry harder until she passed out on the bed.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

The weight of the luggage hit the ground with a subdued thud.

The heels between the two suitcases stood tall, supporting the weight of their owners, but the same owner's shoulders couldn't support her head.

Downcast and uncertain, her face silently examined each pebble in the gravel road leading to the estate. The carriage that was made to escort her arrived as fast as it had left the first time. With a whip and a neigh, the loud trotting became closer and closer. The attendant boarded first and waited.

She felt the warm and reassuring grip of a friend's hands tightly holding onto her own.

"Life and death are natural things, but the pain of death holds nothing over you anymore. You cannot fear what you have already faced."

The friend helped the girl into her carriage. They gently took her hand one last time and kissed it before letting go. All she could do was give a small, sad wave in the window of the carriage before it pulled off.

The friend was left standing there, hands in their pockets.

Downcast and uncertain, their mind going through countless worries and fears for the future. The only comfort they had was their own shadow. That was the only thing certain.

As they turned to walk back, they silently observed each unique pebble in the gravel road leading to the estate.

All they could hope for was the idea of seeing her again.

════════════════════════════════════ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　 ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

I did most of this a month ago but I finally finished up some the small unfinished stuff, I’m trying to catch up with wips but also make new art atm,, BUT I also want to start sharing more about my story/project for these guys too