Bite The Bullet

“They’re d-doing better than expected, I must admit.” Julian mumbled as he touched the leaves of one of the bizarre plants gently. He’d planted them a few weeks ago, fully ready to have to say goodbye to them within a few days. “Figured the weather would have them drowned or starved of sunlight, b-but I suppose they did come from that gloomy cemetery…”

Vanya blinked at him for a moment, face completely devoid of emotion. Her mouth was a flat line. This little piss-ant had the nerve to sidle up to her in the first place, now this? She knew it would be immature to let it get under her skin–so she breathed out slowly. And then reached out to tip his stool back sharply anyway, face still blank.

The toothy grin he had pressed into a pleased smirk the longer she remained quiet, looking entirely too satisfied with himself for having the last catty word. Of course his definition of winning an argument meant he somewhat expected a negative reaction, and was ready to dodge a fist. But the fist never came. Surprisingly instead, what did come was the weight of gravity pulling him down to the floor as the stool gave way to Vanya’s tipping. He hit the ground with as solid as a thud as someone of his size and weight could really make despite trying to grip the table to stop the fall. 

It would seem she’d struck a nerve with her comment. The look in his eyes was unsettling, to say the least–not to mention him baring rather sharp teeth. Vanya grimaced. Whatever this little bug of a man was hoping to gain from her, she didn’t really want to find out. 

“I’ll have to work on that. My sight, I mean,” she answered mirthlessly and gestured to the pistol at his belt. “Perhaps I should take up gunslinging like you afterward.”

“You’re so small; surely whatever m-mess you make couldn’t be that hard to handle,” Julian said with a crooked smile. He showed his palms, completely unable to say no to Fairfax’s earnest face. It wasn’t often someone wanted something so trivial from him, and was willing to be friendly in return. “Alright. I’ll give. Go order s-something and tell them I’ll pay.”

FairFax’s eyes practically lit up at Julian’s offer. “Aren’t you quite the gentleman.~” Much to his delight, that didn’t take as long as he originally thought it would. Perhaps he was building up a good rapport with the Abomination.

Damn. Usually adventurers were eager to answer him–especially the religious type–but the roguish type was always harder to reel in. This one seemed particularly skittish. They were lingering silently at the edge of the water, with what appeared to be a weapon in hand. He supposed it wouldn’t be all that bad if he failed to lure him in; they were small enough to be little more than a snack. Percy did his best to pout at them from afar anyway.

“Please, I need help,” he called out, voice wavering. “I’ve been stuck here for days and I…I can’t swim…”

The Highwayman remained silent, weapon drawn and unmoving as the supposed stranded man spoke. The scratching at the top of his skull seemed to get louder as he thought over the situation. Lies all lies, this had to have been the team getting back at him even from beyond the grave. They must’ve set this up while his back was turned seeing as he didn’t sleep during camp.

Julian felt the tips of his ears burn at Fairfax’s comment of being asked to undress. “I didn’t–” he sputtered uselessly. Oh, what was the point? Fairfax could clearly talk circles around him; arguing against his soft teasing wasn’t going to do anything for his reputation. Besides, even in light of being gently poked fun at, he was still enjoying the company. He leaned back into the worn chair, brows knit together in worry.

“…Thank you,” he mumbled. “It’s the one thing I have going for me.”

He seemed rather pleased with himself over getting Julian so flustered in all honesty. “Oh don’t be so mean to yourself. Surely you got something else goin for ya. Hell I can spot a few just by sittin this close and all I have to go on is looks and a name.~”

Once he’d backed away a little, Vanya’s shoulders relaxed. He was probably a pickpocket; perhaps he’d realized she had nothing on her worth pilfering. She rested her chin on her knuckles and looked at him sidelong.

“You seem to do rather well for yourself, regardless of height. I’m just surprised you’ve managed to find so many rings for such tiny fingers,” she said thoughtfully. “You’re a highwayman. Do you rob children in their parents’ carriages?”