Just want to kill myself

izzy's playlists!
Show & Tell


YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

⁂
noise dept.
Sade Olutola

Discoholic 🪩
wallacepolsom
$LAYYYTER
i don't do bad sauce passes
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
we're not kids anymore.

tannertan36
KIROKAZE

PR's Tumblrdome
h
seen from Japan

seen from Serbia

seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia

seen from United States

seen from Australia
seen from United States

seen from Netherlands
seen from United States

seen from Spain
seen from Australia
seen from Australia

seen from Singapore

seen from Germany

seen from Australia
seen from Finland

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
@curious-enigma
Just want to kill myself

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I want to kill myself.....
Why....
After all the pain... after all the heartbreak... you had to come back into my life... why? Why?!? I was getting better... I might if not been happy, I’m never actually been happy. But still, I wasn’t miserable and in pain as I yearned for your love... and after you threw me to the side you decided to be friends again... and now you tell me you are breaking up with your fiancé? You fucking kidding me.... I wish this could be a great thing for me but you don’t fully want me... you just want me to spoil you and use me till you get this army guy in your life.... I hate that I can’t say no to you...I’m going to break soon and I can’t wait to be done with this pain......
Why am I crashing so hard after our magical week? Is it because it was so sudden and now knowing that this will be the first night in 6 months I will know that you won’t be able to call me to hang out... why am I always the fatal third wheel... The coworker that feel hard for me was right.... I am going to hurt more then ever...why couldn’t I just accepted her Love and try to break away from you? She got emotionally destroyed because of my love for you Wittle one....I’ll be forever her reminder not to fall too deeply in love with someone... I cursed her....for you....it will always be for you...please make it stop... I’m not strong enough to separate myself from the love you give me. Should I do the ultimatum? Either love me or him...not both... is that possible?
Where do I even start...
Maybe the fact that you had a week away from your family and it was one of my favorite weeks with you.... even though your fiancé was still with you, we had a magical week together. We connected sexually again and it was an emotional connection for both of us, seeing that we kept talking about it afterwards... then one night that week, you cooked dinner for your fiancé but invited me as soon as I was free and we all dressed up fancy like. Apparently you were preparing this all night according to your fiancé... you painted a thank you note of appreciation for helping you two the past few months... and you painted it on the back of the puzzle we put together after our major breakup.. it helped us bond back together... when I saw that I almost cried. The next night I cooked for you two and you held the stuffie, I first bought you, the whole time and colored in the book I gave you.... then on the day after your family came in you wore the personal necklace I got you with that stuffie... but now with family back and fiancé being a Alpha dog, control freak, you are pushing me back.... why can’t we just be together... we have such a great connection and everyone around you seems to just bring you down. Especially when they see us together. Idk... I’m getting destroyed seeing you loose strength....again. I wish I could help you but your so deep in being emotionally abused with your fiancé, you can’t see you are more worthy for someone better then both of us. Or am I a fool like everyone tells me... that you are just using me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I told you I needed a friend that night.... you decided to not let me take you home and go off with someone else randomly. I almost killed my self That night Wittle one. You told me I was just jealous but in fact just needed you by my side. Not even sexually either....just someone to talk to... but no, you acted like you didn’t give a shit... I don’t know what the hell is going on with you. Ever since your Fiancé moved in with you, your actions have been irratic. I know you have been dealing with him being a fucking child about everything you do. Every night he goes off in a hissy fit it seems. But Because he has a giant dick you just forgive him? I don’t know how much longer I can take this... thankfully I did message my old friends that night and one of them came to me before I could end it.... why can’t I care about life anymore? I don’t even know what I’m saying....
Why am I like this
The worse thing about suicide isn’t dying... It’s not seeing if the person you love actually cares about you... or if anyone for that matter...
Please just let me give up......

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Are you evil....I lay here on the ground putting the pieces together of what might be one elaborate plan to keep me controlled. Wittle one.... you know I’m fucking lonely, you know the person I’m trying to date so I don’t have to crave your touch, as you are with your fiancé... did you give me one amazing beautiful night just so she would find out to break up with me?..... it’s not fair, but maybe I don’t deserve her because I let you burst through my soul again. You actually snuck over and we spent the night together for the first time in years. We held each other literally ALL night after an exotic moment of heavy breathing and shaking bodies. In the morning we just cuddled and stared at each other.... and I know this all sounds mushy but believe me everyone, I’m halfway through life and this is the first time to experience something like it... she even let me shower her while she was in “Little Space”. BUT.... come to find out you placed pics of you in my shirt on snap, having the girl ask me all the questions why. Then that night in all of us hanging together you caused a jealousy scene. EVEN after all the talk with being okay with this lady and I Dating. I don’t know what to do... you are trying to have your cake and eat it too without giving me a slice...just crumbs for me to beg for more... I hate that I’m deeply in love with you
I guess we are done.... your family finally broke us...with the help of your fiancé who hated that we were just friends.... I don’t know what to do.... you, my Wittle, was the greatest thing that ever Happened in my life and I helped fuck it up by trusting the wrong people... why do I have to be so emotional... why do I have to hold my heart on my sleeve... I feel so dead I can’t even think on what to say next. I don’t even want to do hashtags because it seems silly to me to be this emotional and then be extra like I’m calling for attention.... but how else can I get this experience of my fall out there before I end myself...others have to experience the same thing right?...we all can’t be alone....goodbye
I often think about if I made the right decision on not killing my self... in the time between that event, I have fallen deeply in love with someone and have been brutally destroyed by the situation of our love... not by our own accord, but by others... was it worth living the past few months and experiencing this fall? Is it to just remind me on why I wanted to do it in the first place?.....idk... I just know I can’t take this anymore.
Here we are again.... moving too fast....tripping over our actual lives that are around us. Wittle one.... I fucking love you and you struggle to feel the same now. Your family had a schism because of that love... how can it bring so much destruction? On that night, you tried to be the better person and talk to them and they shut you down from ever getting to talk...then you shut me down because of it. You even threatened me, you were so hurt..... now even though you apologized, it’s not the same... your happiness has faded and they still get on to you.... I think I need to disappear so you can be happy..
I want to feel as beautiful and wanted as that sky... #skyporn #beautifulsky #beautifulskies #texasSky #texasSkies #sky #skies #NoFilter https://www.instagram.com/p/BytqNselJyV/?igshid=ejy4a2ekskke

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I need to disappear... https://www.instagram.com/p/ByL9FZWFiNd/?igshid=rv34fsgt1u0a
I’m going to go real emo for a moment... I’m going to start sketching again like I used to as a kid... thank you for that special person to push me to do so... just another outlet along stupid sky pics and sexy coloring. So please bare with me as I post horrible looking lead scratches along with useless sad boi words... https://www.instagram.com/p/BxwVENflieI/?igshid=hm9r15ppwsrn