Curious Dog

Family Circle - 1954. A picture really is worth a thousand words.

Encore. Remember that name. If you ever look at insurance options, or work for a place that offers this as their insurance, run screaming. 

I am employed with a small company that has used Encore as our health provider. The crappy in network options was bad, but I dealt with it. The high out of pocket deductibles sucked, but I did what I had to do, and I’ll be paying for a long time. I’ve followed every procedure and seen every doctor I’ve been told to. 

I finally get an outstanding neurosurgeon. This guy really knows his stuff. He had an MRI done, extra x-rays, and even made sure I received a diagnostic shot to ensure he had the correct diagnosis. Surgery was set. Because I had such god awful insurance, they required a down payment that we thought we could manage thanks to a generous donation, but now may bite us in the ass because there is something holding up the donation.

As if that weren’t good enough, I’ve been told the insurance company won’t approve the surgery, as they don’t see it as “medically necessary”. When I called and probed for information, I was told there was a conversation between their doctor and my doctor. Their doctor didn’t believe there was enough “concrete evidence” to show that the recommended surgery would be successful. I asked what he DID recommend. No answer. (I was speaking to whatever representative handles this crap.) I asked him if the evidence he had wasn’t enough, what else would he need? No answer. So it appears that a random doctor can just come up with any idea he wants to decide there isn’t enough information to determine a surgery is necessary.  

It doesn’t matter that I’m pretty much having to lay down most of the time. It doesn’t matter that just being upright is hell on my back. It doesn’t matter that this surgery could go a long way into helping me feel better. What matters is some guy in some office somewhere doesn’t want to spend the money it would take to potentially solve a chronic problem. 

I’m old. I’m not THAT old, but I’m old. I’m a child of the 70s. I grew up when most towns had about 3 tv stations. i grew up with The Gong Show, starring Chuck Barris.

Have you heard? The Gong Show is back! Chuckie baby isn’t, but Tommy whatshisname is. And guess what? Any article you’ve read railing on Mike Myers or the show is written by some snarky little mind that is missing something very very important.

I’m Generation X. I’ve seen other supermen try to replace Christopher Reeve. I’ve seen Star Wars movies that make the first movie the 4th movie. I’ve seen revivals of The Match Game, $100,000 Pyramid, and now The Gong Show. 

What’s right about this show? The crazy acts? YES! The host? Yes! The band? yes! The format? Y... well... almost. The judges? No. If there is a weak spot in this Gong Show it’s the judges. Ironically, Wil Arnett of all people seemed clueless. The first episode saw a lot of scores of zero handed out. Zero? That should be a gong. The second episode had a really over talkative Elizabeth Banks as a judge. No. Just no.

I like that it’s back. It’s been tried before, but never with the spirit of the original flowing through its veins. It’s returned, and it stands very nicely on its own. Mike Myers is under lord knows how much makeup and is just present enough without making himself the center of attention. He gets it. 

If you haven’t given the show a chance, DO IT! Zombie Ballet! A stand up bunny! If they even hinted at an homage to Gene Gene the Dancing Machine I would probably pee my pants a little. “Shaving Cream” was fun the first episode, but that was it. 

I’m crossing my fingers they get judges that get it. In the original, they often had judges that had had their moment in the spotlight, and their careers were slowly entering the back half. They had a good time and had fun with it all. The recent judges are all active in the business and seem to have the need to always be “on”. If they keep making it about themselves, this show can’t make it. It’s always about the acts. As Jamie Farr said in an interview, it’s a party atmosphere. That’s what it should be.

If there is one more thing to tweak, it’s having the judges sit in chairs that are so awkwardly placed, if the person in the middle wants to gong, they have to get up and make their way around the end. They can’t simply get up and grab a gong. 

That is the beginning of one of my favorite podcasts, The Ice Cream Social. Or is it Ice Cream Social? Regardless, they’re “preachin’ fun”! 

I haven’t written in depth about many shows, but listening to my first Jackie and Laurie show has made me think it might not be a bad idea. It might even be a good idea, and I could use a few of those. 

If you’re into podcasts, this could be a great fit. There are so many great qualities that my ADHD addled brain won’t do a very good job coming up with them all, so I’ll try to hit some of the highlights. 

Ice Cream Social is a spin off of Penn’s Sunday School via Matt Donnelly (SweetmattyD on Twitter). It features him, Paul Mattingly, and Jacob the audio guy. (Or goy, as I typed it at first.) It’s on 2-3 times a week, and is supported mostly if not entirely by Patreon. They do an amazing job of fostering a positive community, encouraging listeners to participate in whatever way they would like. Maybe it’s cool mail. Maybe it’s some interesting jock vs. nerd questions. Maybe it’s tweeting about The Bucket Show, which is another thing altogether. 

A typical show starts off with them shooting the shit for a while. This can be regular conversation and can include any weird moment of impromptu improv. This is continued as they read listener e-mails and play jock vs. nerd. There’s SO much going on! It’s definitely one of those shows where it’s helpful to listen to some old episodes so you can get some of the references. 

They are present on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit, just to name a few. I think I even heard them mention Tumblr. They’re EVERYWHERE! If you tweet them and entertain them, expect faves and retweets. Sharing the spotlight is something they excel at. They love what they do, and they love it when people join in. It’s just plain silly and sometimes dumb fun, but dumb in the best of ways. For the ultimate in listener e-mails, look up “Having a ball in Arkansas”. Every weird and gross story since then has aspired to achieve the same greatness.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything on here, and I’m going to go off topic for a moment after reading a story about the slow agonizing death of Sears. 

I worked in retail for quite a long time, and a good deal of those companies are either gone or on life support. Eckerd Drugs, Phar Mor, Lowe’s, Sears... those are just a few. My stint at sears was in the early 90s when there was still some life flowing through those veins, but you could already see cracks if you were inside. 

I first got hired in Florida at a fairly new store that was pretty gigantic. I’m sure it’s gone now. The first floor was mostly hard lines on one side, soft lines on the other, and an entire second floor devoted almost entirely to furniture. It wasn’t the busiest store, but we did OK. I think that was around the time the catalog stores were closed.

Later, I made it into the local Bloomington Indiana store, which is currently in the process of being demolished to make room for a Whole Foods. Already you could see the problems beginning. This was an anchor store that did fairly well despite some stiff competition. I worked in the flooring department, which was eventually done away with. Like some other departments, this worked on a “commission vs. draw” concept. You made a base hourly rate, and the idea was to make enough in commissions to earn more than that. If you were short, then you were in the “draw”, and had to pay it back before you would receive anything above and beyond. This ran on about a 4 week cycle. So if you normally took home $200 weekly and only earned $100 in commission for a month, then you “owed” $400 that would have to be “paid” before you could earn any extra. In a slow store, you were guaranteed to never see more than your hourly rate. 

This was also the case in appliances/electronics. Other departments like Hardware paid hourly plus either 1% or 3% of any sales you rang up, which was a good way to ensure good customer service. In Brand Central, you also worked with the base vs draw system and hoped for the best. Many items had a percentage attached that would go towards your commission. As time marched on and competition heated up, these percentages went lower and lower, but the pay structure did not change. 

Around this time, a lot of “lifers” started to leave the company. Sears was not investing in their stores, and ignored a lot of opportunities. Locally, we had a great and knowledgable team. If we had been given high end product to sell, we could have. Because we are a small market, that never happened. I forgot to mention that one reason we did well is we knew our crap. Brandfest was magic. Most departments got to participate in that at least once a year. We went to a location and vendors would tell us all about their products, and then we got our updated pocket guide. It had everything we needed to know. It was our bible. So time marched on, sales held steady, and someone high above decided that Maintenance Agreements and Product Protection Plans were the key to success. Why? They were essentially pure profit. Customers paid for something they were likely to never use. Buy a PPP for 5 bucks! Buy an MA for 24.99 and get free head cleanings on your VCR! For me, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when management started to take us off the floor for meetings so we could get our numbers up. We had regular customers. We knew our stuff. We sold, and we did OK against local competition. But because those PPP and MA numbers weren’t where they wanted them, we weren’t doing our job well. 

At some point they closed our local service center. One of our best selling points - gone. You could still get your items serviced, but now you had to drive an hour away. Mistake.

And so I left. And Sears struggled. Brand Central dried up and so did the high end items. Shopping there meant you would struggle to find help, and if you did, they probably didn’t know a damn thing.

So now what’s left of Sears is going to wither away and die, along side Kmart. Locally, the east side Kmart closed around the same time as Sears, and Kmart was a mercy killing. It was long overdue, as it had been relegated to the back seat thanks to Target. We recently drove by the building, and even though the sign is gone, it doesn’t look much different. The parking lot is as empty as it was when they were open. 

1. Wow! That’s great!

2. I think I see our next presidential candidate!

3. Ain’t that just shucky-ducky!

4. Could you pass the tomatoes?

1. Calico

2. Maine Coon

3. Hairless

4. Polydactyl