Story of the World

It shocked me how many people never heard of them at the show. It was strange at first. I was the first one to say fuck it and dance  my ass off. I mean, how can you not? I only wanna dance to good music after all! I got everyone around me to start dancing and letting loose too. By the end of the night though, everyone was raging because they finally realized how amazing Lotus is. (DUH!!) Been looking forward to the Guilded Tour since November and the show was far beyond my expectations in the best way possible. I have never felt so close to a band while listening to them play and having the best time of my life. Maybe that is the shroomielsd talking. 

Moving again. Staying in the same town for now. I'm so glad that I was raised to only depend on myself. I've done all the packing so far. Even packed up my own car. Would even move my own bed if I could. An hour after W is out of class and I'm still packing alone. Funny thing is I helped him pack and unpack all his shit. Gee thanks for the help. And tomorrow he thought he had class til 5 and told me he can't help clean at all. Really? I'm pretty sure cleaning is not an all day event. But I just found out he doesn't have class tomorrow. Now I'm making him clean haha What a lazy prick! I've been cleaning and repairing this place and working. Did I mention he hasn't worked for a month and hasn't done shiiieettt. Not cool.

It's been a year and 2 days since I moved out to the Pacific NW. Definitely the toughest year of my life. Being 24 was a challenge in foreign soil, 3000 miles away from everything I have ever known. My life went from being surrounded by loved ones to none at all. For some reason, people won't even give this sweet Jersey Girl a chance. Whenever I tell people where I just moved from, they automatically are intimidated by me. Really? I know I have a mouth on me, but I'm seriously one of the most thoughtful people you will ever meet. Life is so lonely when you don't know anyone. Everyone is so flaky out here. Everyone is always down to chat-but only if you are pretty much forced to interact with them. For example, the people you see at work or the cashier at the supermarket. Don't dare ask anyone to hang out though. You'll get the "Yeah we should!" Then as soon as you give a specific date, the person will like freak out in their head and pull the "Oh I don't know. Maybe, I'll let you know!"...WTF?! Sorry, but where I come from, when you meet someone you vibe with, you are instant friends for life and automatically have that person's back. No one looks out for you out here, lesson learned the hard way. I thought that moving closer to the Pacific, my favorite body of water, would be life-changing. It was that, but not in a good way. So why did I run away from my comfort zone? I thought if I left my bubble, I would find myself and be accepted better by others. I honestly think people are straight up ignorant and still kinda racist. Really upsetting to me. I can't help that I'm not white, but at the same time, I was born and raised here. This is just my country as any other natural born citizen. How is discriminating against me even right? Moving out of one of the few melting pots of the country and into a white dominated state has shown me how segregated races still are over the country. I thought I experienced racism in my home state, but it's far worse here. I feel like an oddball. To make it worse, the media has ruined my reputation just because that's my home and I can't help but to be proud. I will never be ashamed of who I am-never again. I don't want people to run and hide from me. I don't even wanna tell people where I'm from, but I can't help it. It is apart of who I am. Why is it such a big deal? Why are people afraid of the truth out here? Life is short. Why pretend? Before we know it, we will be dead and will have never lived the truth. I'm not saying lets all be rude and mean to each other, but it's ridiculous to have to pretend to like someone who hates you back equally. In that case, just don't talk to each other and have that silent understanding that you stay the fuck out of each other's way. See, isn't that better than pissing yourself off cuz you just had a convo with someone who repulsed you? Also, being real is important. Sometimes people may not be aware they are driving you crazy and by telling them how you feel, in a kind manner, they now have no excuse. Now you will know if they give a shit or not. No need to wonder what is going on with that idiot. I can't stand this beating around the bush nonsense!!!! I need it straight, for real. I don't understand what someone is trying to say when they are being passive aggressive. Ugh. Just fuckin say what you mean! Would you be afraid of a 4'10 nugget? Cuz that's me. And seriously a true friend. My girls are my life and I would do absolutely anything for them. Living here has not stopped me from attending important events, such as weddings. It bothers me so much that people got shit twisted over here. The one person at my job I have bonded with is from Miami. Of course Jersey and Miami always click. But everyone else is a butt hole. Moving out in like a week and a half. Scary. Still haven't found a place...don't know what I will do. No one has liked me enough to want me to live with them. I hope things start looking up soon. By the end of Feb I may return to my bubble. My comfort zone where I will be surrounded by all the love I'll ever need. Strange to say this, but back at home I clicked with every girl I ever met and was instant BFFs with them. I've had so many friends that I even had to weave out the ones I thought were boring. Here, I don't even have a choice. I got nothing.

I love how every girl wishes she was more like me. Sorry ladies, you’re just jealous you’re not a Jersey Girl! They don’t make them like that anywhere else. We tell it like it is and are far from fake.

We all know that guy. The ass hole player who gets every girl he wants! Of course I Well, of course only I would think it would be funny to seek revenge and show him he can't have what he wants this time. I even went on countless, sexless dates ending with not even a kiss! My favorite was on his birthday, he kept trying to get me to meet him at the bar, but I was busy with my girl eating food. When he asked me what I was doing, I replied "Eating". It drove him nuts the way I texted him and it made me laugh-with all my friends. Well, I did meet up with him and his friend-I brought mine, too! Then he paid for all me and my girl's drink...I gave her like half my drinks lol and he paid for them on his bday. Okay, I may sound cruel, but remember this guy is a full on player. He does this with all girls. He continued to call me late at night to tell me he was in love with me and blah, blah. Drunk dials, booty call attempts, etc. He never stopped trying cuz I was the girl he couldn't get to sleep with him. Haha jokes on him, right? Well I failed by hooking up with him, oops? But I could never like a guy like him, so it was whatever to me. I stopped talking to him after that. He kept continuing to contact me and I would only randomly reply. But he's been randomly trying to talk to me ever since. It's been two years since I've seen him...I get a late night text from my girl. She ran into him at the bar and he bombarded her with questions asking about what I'm up to. She told him I moved across the country with my bf. He was super bummed and told her that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about me since we hooked up. He's in love with me. Even worse, he told my girl he would date me over his gf of 2.5 years. Damn, how is that for getting back at him for fucking with many girls' emotions?