Kylo Ren is my son

ok dont worry i totally didnt marathon every rick and morty episode in one sitting

on an unrelated note, heres my description of all the episodes so far

minor spoilers

S1E1: Pilot

morty sticks something up his butt and almost dies

S1E2: Lawnmower Dog

THIS IS WHY YOU’RE NICE TO DOGS DAMMIT

also pervert math teacher is a pervert

also inception

S1E3: Anatomy Park

reuben gets fucking obliterated and ate some dinosaurs or something

also jerry learns about polyamory

S1E4: M. Night Shaym - Aliens!

be naked to escape the illuminati 

S1E5: Meeseeks and Destroy

H I  I M  M I S T E R  M E E S E E K S  L O O K  A T  M E

existence is pain

jerry is awful at golf

S1E6: Rick Potion #9

morty gets horny and takes over his dead not life in a different timeline

what is this undertale

S1E7: Raising Gazorpazorp

morty gets a robot pregnant and learns about feminism

also dont kill people with a cute top

S1E8: Rixty Minutes

they watch tv or something

also gazorpazorpfield was born

glorious

S1E9: Something Ricked This Way Comes

rick pisses off satan with science

robot existential crisis

pluto discourse

S1E10: Ricksy Business

rick gets fuckin rekt

also party or whatever

time freezes and stuff

what 4th wall?

S2E1: A Rickle In Time

dont be unsure you will fuck up time

testicle monsters beat the shit out of einstein

S2E2: Mortynight Run

morty you couldve had fun at the blips n chits arcade but you just haaaaad to track down that assassin

also omnipotent fart with speech orbs shits out gold

S2E3: Auto Erotic Assimilation

rick fucks an entire town

and a giraffe

also drugs

and beer

holy fuck

also theres a baby eating murderer in the basement

with space aids

S2E4: Total Rickall

parasite takes form of photography raptor

how dare

also mr poopybutthole is a thing

im glad

S2E5: Get Schwifty

G E T  S C H W I F T Y  W I T H  M E  Y ‘ A L L

S  H  I  T    O  N    T  H  E    F  L  O  O  R

also government or something

ALL HAIL SKY HEADS

S2E6: The Ricks Must Be Crazy

battery-ception

more existential crisises

“YOUR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION POWERS MY BRAKE LIGHTS”

S2E7: Big Trouble In Little Sanchez

TINY RICK IS HERE

also predator teams up with a worm but is defeated by a goddess

project phoenix is a failure

S2E8: Interdimensional Cube 2

a sequel to the old one

but with less gazorpazorpfield

but there are dick hearts

also gun dick

vibrator

thing

S2E9: Look Who’s Purging Now

the purge but with cat people

lighthouse man gets fucking obliterated because his writing sucks

rick’s liver gets rekt

FUCK RICH PEOPLE

get a job jerry

also tron

i guess

S2E10: The Wedding Squanchers

straighten your back

go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT

go take your meds if you need to

drink some water

go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while

maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)

reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about

How to Escape a Hair Grab or a Neck Grab ? Look at them, carefully.

tai chi pants on http://www.icnbuys.com/tai-chi-pants give you surprise at the new year.