Welcome to the cult. We've been expecting you.

Don’t worry, guys. Carl is clearly a brachiosaurus, which lived during the Jurassic period. (And before anyone says our lil’ boy Steve is a velociraptor and therefore puts our comic in the late cretaceous, aka the time of the comet–that lil guy could easily be a compsognathus or a caudipteryx, both Jurassic-era species of small theropod dinosaurs. So the light getting bigger every night is going to pass by harmlessly, and Steve and Carl can go on enjoying the stars together until they die of old age, since Carl has very few natural predators at his size and I bet he’ll protect Steve, if he needs it (though small, fast and carnivorous as Steve is, he probably won’t). 

Imagine being one of the parents for the kids in the Magic School Bus class. Getting those field trip permission slips home every single night.

Ms Frizzle sending you one (1) permission slip at the beginning of the year to cover all the field trips and you’re like huh that’s a little unusual but I guess it’s efficient at least and then you open it and it’s written like This

Your phone magically opens to a random fic on ao3!

i just. i really thought this would be a winning combo. this is sitewide

No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.

my name is blorb and when its nite and eeby deeby castiel's flight poe and wine cause discourse

Historians are

Congratulations! You are now a Magic-User!!

This isn't the worst but I'm disappointed.