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kykyhoeward

If this isn’t me…

thatsthat24

have you ever been f****d in the a**

One time a flight attendant offered me a bag of chips and I happily accepted. It wasn’t until after I opened it that the flight attendant told me it cost money and I had to pay for it. And that would be the last time I would ever be fooled in the air.

snorlaxatives

merlte from lilo and stitch was such a bitch i’d beat the shit out of her

stability

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wexler

that one time on Hotel Hell when Gordon Ramsay fed the owner’s dog some shitty bread and then was afraid he killed her

unclefather

He checked her pulse

millennial-review-deactivated20

ourexes

same candidate :///// they were both flawed :///// there just wasn’t one good choice :///// ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

weavemama

the only good thing about trump supporters is how easy it is to drag them with the simplest fact

polar-bear17

😂

why do some people think the rights of a fertilized egg are more important than the rights of a fully grown woman..?

#people aka trump and pence #women's march #march #march for life

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weavemama

obama’s wife was disrespected, his daughters were disrespected, HE was disrespected but he never resorted to acting like 5 year old on social media and to the press

weavemama

and it’s actually lowkey sad bc I know he wanted to go IN when it came to protecting his family and speak out against the annoying conservatives who judged them,, but he sacrificed that to maintain the professional manner you have to keep when being president of the United fucking states

thoughtsof-r

idk why ppl keep saying this emoji 😬is a smile… cus every time i see it, this is what comes to mind:

brimalandro

urulokid

this was the worst punked ever you wanted to laugh at justin timberlake but ended up just feeling really sorry for him because he just sits there and accepts his fate

rofl-pictures

This is my kind of complaint

yourmutualfriends

I love the research that went into this

andinthemeantimeconsultabook-de

Personally, I’m still trying to figure out how $12/hr is considered “competitive pay”???? ????

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stability

rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.

HE GONE.

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.

palindrome-mystery

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

kyraneko

Is it weird that I looked at that grave and thought, wow, that’d actually be a nice place to live? Space to lie down in, shelter from the elements, grave plots don’t cost very much compared to rent, you could go down there with a small air mattress and a sleeping bag and some wifi and really, nobody’d notice if you hollowed it out a bit down there for some extra room.

Plus half my generation is not-entirely-ironically wishing for death already …

mooglemisbehaving

Next on Flip That House: a single-story property in a historic location with a lot of character!

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