get outta my way

- Deadpool is insecure - Deadpool has chronic pain - Deadpool is submissive in bed - Deadpool is pansexual - Deadpool lifts up his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips - Deadpool is a blonde - Deadpool’s initials are WWW - Deadpool had an abusive father - Deadpool’s mother died from cancer - Deadpool fell in love with a teenager - Deadpool left her because he didn’t want to hurt her - Deadpool had a daughter - Deadpool didn’t believe she was his because she was too beautiful - Deadpool had to be dragged away from his daughter’s dead body by Cap and Wolverine - Deadpool carries Hello Kitty band aids - Deadpool is good with kids - Deadpool can’t be killed by Ghost Rider because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong - Deadpool hates himself - Deadpool used to curl up in a ball and mumble about his skin hurting - Deadpool is married to the queen of the undead - Deadpool reads his own comics

- Deadpool tells kids that he’s Spider-Man

Title: Wolves

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Peter Parker

Rating: Explicit

Chapter: 15

Summary:

Peter is falsely accused and sent to jail, where he meets the violent ex-mercenary, Wade.

Or: Prison daddy Deadpool looks after his boy.

Excerpt:

“What were you dreaming about?” Peter asked lightly; if he got too doom-and-gloom about it, Wade tended to just shrug it off without sharing. “Was it about the goblins with the cactus shaped like a dildo? Or was it about the bank vault that turned out to be a giant mouth that swallowed your penis?”

“Bruh,” said Wade feelingly, patting himself down like he’d been attacked during the night. “Don’t remind me. That vault swallowed my penis and didn’t give it back. I was traumatized as fuck. Kept cupping my crotch every five seconds for the next month. Not that I don’t always cup my crotch; it’s comforting, like I imagine cupping my own boobs would be. If I had boobs.”

Joe Keery: *exists*

Billy: Oh nice

Billy: Send me a picture of your hair up in a giant spike lol

Steve: