CSI-Parody

Grissom : This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with. Sara : What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?

Sara : Therapy is expensive but telling myself "it be like that sometimes" costs 0 dollars. Grissom : Honey. No.

Cath : So Sara's left Vegas? How are you taking it? Grissom : She needed to leave Vegas for a time, so it is better this way, you know. Cath : Are you okay? Grissom : Yeah, I am good. While she's gone, I can do stuff around here that I couldn't do before. Cath : Like what? Grissom : I can walk around dressed again. Cath : ... What? Grissom : I can... I can watch porn in the living room. Cath : By porn you mean documentaries about insects and arachnids reproduction, but okay. Grissom : And I like being on my own. I'm a lone beetle. A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Cath : ... Grissom : What's a beetle gotta do to get a hug around here?! Cath : Coming!

Grissom : *picks up the phone* Hello? Sara : Do you think drinking 36 cans of redbull consecutively would make my senses heightened or would I just die ? Grissom : ... Grissom : I'm on my way.

Cath : Look, I know you're mad. Sara : Why? Because you betrayed me? Betrayer. Cath : Look, I'm sorry, but when they asked me for my professional opinion, I had to give it. Sara : Oh I don't know, if you were a real friend you could have lied, kept your mouth shut, made out with me... any of the stuff that we talked about!

*Sara and Grissom roleplaying* Sara : Okay, you ready? Grissom : Mm-hmm. Sara : Hello. Grissom : Oh, my God. Are you Maria Sibylla Merian? Sara : Indeed I am. Hello, I am Maria Sibylla Merian, the first female entomologist and the first one ever to paint and detail the study of species and their life-cycle and habitat. Grissom : Mm-hmm, yeah. This is really working for me. Sara : Really? Grissom : Yeah. Sara : Awesome. Grissom : So, Mrs. Merian, can you help me, a seasoned sailor, to find Moby Dick? Sara : Hello, sailor! Of course I can help you, after all I'm the one who prooved that insects are not spontaneously generated. Grissom : Yeah, I love this really, but this is really hard to track. Let’s just take our clothes off. Sara : Oh, thank God. This outfit is so hot.

Sara : Grissom's just the worst. He thinks he's so smart and so pretty and he makes me feel good about the world and my place in it.

Sara : I can't believe you got me this. Cath : Oh, I only did it as a joke. I can return it for you if you want. Sara : Oh, no, it's okay. You don't have to go all the way back down there. I'll, I'll just throw it away. Cath : Well, I mean, if you were going to throw it away, maybe I'll take it in case I get invited to another wedding shower. It's a great gag gift. Sara : Yeah, it's really funny. You know who would get a kick out of it? Grissom. So, so maybe I'll just hold on to it. Cath : I would be embarrassed if Grissom found out that I bought it for you, so I'd better just take it. Sara : Cath, leave it.