When I’m with you I forget to be afraid. You know the weird thing about that is that I’m never around you. You don’t have to say anything. For days. You don’t have to say anything. But you make me forget I’m not okay sometimes. And I won’t tell you things. I’ll always pretend I’m perfectly fine. Tell you something random or crack an awful joke cause I may be in pain but heck, someone out there might be having the worst day of their life so who am I to complain? Maybe you’re the one having a really shitty day, I don’t wanna make it worse. I don’t want you to worry about me so I don’t say anything. But sometimes I’m really dumb and tired and I slip. And I don’t want that cause you could do without my bullshit. Trust me, when I tell you shit and change the topic immediately after it’s cause I know you don’t need to deal with this shit and there’s a million and one things worth worrying about, none of them including me, and the change of topic is my apology. It’s me telling you that you don’t have to worry about me. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to.

You come to a point in your life where you really don’t care what people think about you, you just care what you think about yourself

heavy hearts don’t have to drown.

She’s the storm you never expected.

I fear being alone more than anything else. So why do I do this? Why do I push away the people I love? What is so very wrong with me? I don’t know. And I don’t know how to make it stop.