Naaah. I'm sorry whatever me it was that was out a few hours ago, but 🦴 is trash and you know it. You just don't remember because I do.
There were many times in summer of 2025 when we were supposed to be hanging out with 🦴 and 🌑, making a fire, or exploring the creek, once it was archery. Well. Many of those times, we'd get to his door, knock. Wait. Text. No response. It would take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour of just waiting in front of his door, with 🌑 getting increasingly frustrated saying, "We should just go home." But then surprise! 🦴 Would come out saying, "Sorry, forgot you were comin over, I just woke up" or "Sorry, I had to clean up my room for company" which is more reasonable, but with the frequency it happened, usually when he was the one inviting us over?? No. I'm sorry Poppy, but. No.
And then! Halloween 2025, he told us 2 hours before he was supposed to pick us up that he actually had to go to his girlfriend's brother's memorial service, which. If he knew he had to do that, whyyyy did he keep insisting we haaad to go out with him? So. With our plans foiled last minute, 🌑 made that night hell.
"you aspies are always like this. If y'all would just learn how to talk to each other and not make vague stupid plans. We could've done something actually fun. But no. Now we're stuck with the nearby haunted house and of course your autistic ass is gonna make us trick or treat on the way there. Just my luck."
Like. I know what 🌑 said is just ableist bullshit and like, he says shit like that all the time, and 🦴 didn't know nor had any control over what happened at home after he cancelled and he had an extremely valid reason to cancel, however!! He could have and should have cancelled at least the day before? Not like. 2 hours before we were supposed to go out. So. Good for him.
Like. We were supposed to buy a bunch of candy and s'mores making stuffs and go to one of them barbecue stands at a park and pass around our weed vapes while telling old myths or horror stories we knew of (which would of course delve into just joking around and talking about silly bullshit), and that sounded like a blast.
But no. I got a bunch of abelist ranting from 🌑, went to a haunted house that was super cheesy and just. So very much for the kids but they were not gonna come out that Halloween anymore due to 🌑 and the bullshit he said, and kept saying as we trick or treated on our way to the haunted house.
"We're too old for this bullshit. It's so embarrassing how people keep asking questions. Like, your autism is just so embarrassing."
We kept getting compliments on the horns I'd made for 🌑's costume. He was a demon, and I was a witch. I looked hot, but because it was cold, I had to find our "fancy outing" jackets and just hoped that would be warm enough. We looked fine, but it did diminish the intended impression. Oh well. Would've been the same with or with out 🦴.
Anyway! We vented to 🦴 about how we fucked ☄️ in March and he was a good friend to vent to for a while, until he was like, "if you were so frustrated, you could've come to me"
And like. That's not at all what I wanted to hear?
And to keep things going! He also said in that conversation that if I was ever having really bad arguments with 🌑 then I could reach out to him and he'd be there. Like some fantasy ass bullshit that we all know he's quite literally only saying to get in our pants.
Because! A week or so later, we were having one of them arguments with 🌑 where to get some space and to forcibly decompress the nervous system, we were in the closet. A lot of the arguments with 🌑 result with me being in the closet, and him trying to keep the argument going while I'm in the closet, sometimes going as far as to try to drag me out. And of course, we fight back. We fight back hard. Like the dog we are.
So! I was in the closet, texted 🦴 and was all, "Can you please come pick me up and take me away for a few hours?" He said sure. So I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited. Bed time, I just go to sleep. Luckily 🌑 had mostly given up on whatever it was we were arguing about, and was also going to bed.
🦴 just said in the morning, "Oops, I got distracted on a side quest. I had to help a friend build a bookshelf." Cool great. So. We rescheduled, it was a day 🌑 and I were getting along. That was an overall good day of beyblading and trynna see how many frogs we could spot.
A week or so later, we plan to see 🦴 a few days in advance instead of on short notice since that's something we agreed would be better last time we hung out. But guess what?
🦴 didn't show up. I texted him a few times with no response. Then! Right around bedtime, he texts me, "My girlfriend insisted that today we go see a movie." And vents about how his girlfriend problems. So. Cool.
Then last time we saw him he made a bunch of comments about how the spot we were exploring at the creek looked like a perfect spot to fuck, and I was like, "I can literally see a kids' soccer game right there." So.
No. Just no. 🦴 Is most likely best to genuinely keep at a distance. Maybe just. Slow down how often we send him memes, severely gone down and edit the memories you tell him. Just. Stop being so personal. He clearly doesn't care, and has plenty of his own problems.
And besides. I feel like he already sees us as a side quest. Because like. Idk. He definitely has a lot of problems with his girlfriend, but his situation with her is a lot easier to break off since they don't live together like 🌑 and I do. So. ??? And like, I get, emotions and stuff. But. From what he's told me, I just don't understand them at all, and I know damn well that sounds extremely hypocritical coming from me, but still! If 🦴 wanted to make me a priority he would. And yet. We've been his friend for 2 years. He's been dating his girlfriend for 3. I've been living with 🌑 in a weird situationship for 5 years were I cheated for a month? Maybe more, I don't have the ☄️ memories, and then actually dating for 1 and a half, and he was cheating on me with 🩺 for all but 3 months of that. So. I've got a much worse and more dragged out beaten corpse of a relationship than him. So. Maybe that's why I'm not a priority.
Maybe I just suck as a person and just. Will ruin anyone I know or am around. Like. I don't even feel like I can be normal friends with 🦴 if I do keep him around in my life. I do feel like I am just gonna make 🌑 more angry and spiteful so long as he keeps living with me.
🌑 didn't know anyone with autism that he was aware of until he met me. But it just so happens that I'm much more complicated than just autism, got all kinds of stuff wrong with me. So. I do very much worry that a lot of his transgressions towards autism and DID and BPD and my physical ailments came from seeing me, meeting my family, just. It came from the fact that my family just so happens to be an absolute horrible representation of autism as a whole, we are all just. Horrid lazy toxic liars. We are all mean, and hold grudges and just. Cruel people. And not a single person in my family likes 🌑, they all very much hate him (but like, in all fairness, 🌑 definitely kinda deserves that from certain family members).
So. Maybe. Perhaps. The dating app gamble? Or look for beyblade meet ups? Surely there are some kind of social events that I can go to to meet new people. But like. Of course. We're moving in 6 days. Imma need to settle in and unpack and get the apartment organized and orderly. I'll have my own bedroom for the first time since getting kicked out at 18. And 🌑 is over all being somewhat courteous about how we've been dividing up plans for the past 2 days since we were sent the lease to sign digitally. Like. He's been calm as all hell, and is very much looking forward to moving now. He got 🩺's brother to help him move the big heavy furniture if I can move all of the boxes and bags of clothes.
I asked 🌑 if it would be at all ok if I asked 🦴 for help. And! Today! I got 🌑 to agree and say, "So long as 🦴's never in the apartment while he's home, that's ok." And I told him, "So long as 🩺 generally leaves me alone, I really don't mind her being there while I'm home, just please be quiet." And then he said, "🩺 is scared of you and doesn't want to ever meet you, and will not be coming over, and actually, may you please not be home on the day her brother comes over to move the furniture? Also, please see if you can move the boxes before I move the furniture?"
We'll see how asking 🦴 for help goes. I might not've actually told him that 🌑 said no a week (?) ago. Idk. We'll see.
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