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i think a big part of my ED stems from OCD and the need for control i have. i need everything to be clean, pure, small, or else i can't handle it mentally. it sucks, really, but there's nothing i can do and it makes me feel helpless.

being able to feel every single gram of fat hanging off my frame is a nightmare, i would do anything to claw it off and finally be able to breathe

existing in my own skin is a punishment on its own.

i dont care, im not doing this to look good for someone. im doing it for myself. to be happy and comfortable in my skin, to finally find peace with who i am. to find who i know im supposed to be. i wont let anything get in my way.

no matter what i do i always come running back to here. its my safe space, the only place that's helped me make any progress ... i can't stay away no matter how hard i try