Monger

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”

Tell me 😃

french = joke language. someone made it up in a hot summer sunday for a laugh and it caught on

typical gallo-roman sitting down speaking vulgar latin and said “ouh la la…” for a joke and the rest is history

It’s so weird how sometimes when I read a poem it just feels like a bunch of words and sometimes when I read a poem it feels like someone ripping my heart out of my body and throwing it at my face at 90 mph

i just realized in like 30 years or so there’s gonna be gay teens making posts like “imagine being a gay person in the 2010s and hearing ‘take me to church’ by hozier for the first time” like… the solidarity of it all

hahaha, that gif thoooo. perf. 

Oh look, it me

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @masochist-incarnate @thebootydiaries @the-german-russian-skinwalker how do I become a shitpost god?

Eat shit. Then you can shitpost. Or shitpoop. Idk

Get a lobotomy

I do not condom surgery

Surgery on a grape

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @masochist-incarnate @thebootydiaries @the-german-russian-skinwalker how do I become a shitpost god?

Eat shit. Then you can shitpost. Or shitpoop. Idk

Get a lobotomy

My earliest memory is of me at 4 drinking a whole bottle of cheap perfume

I wanna know what people assume about me because of my tumblr.

Put an assumption in my ask. I’ll confirm or dispute it. I’m not gonna be mean or anything, I’m just very interested. You can go anon if you want.

people are probably gonna exist for a very long time after global warming is irreversible but imagine being in the year 3019 and reading a history book and learning that your ancestors had every power to stop the world from being a shitty hell dimension but they didn’t because short term money making was more valuable to them

does anyone have like ten thousand dollars they don’t want

ahhhh!!! 400 devils!!!! just kidding

don’t ever scare me like that again

don’t ever arouse me like that again