IS THAT A SHARK?

if you watch any video today it needs to be this one

I LOVE THIS NEWSCAST AND IM NOT EVEN FROM AUSTRALIA.

#like that little cage is gonna help ya

Theyre so. Honest

If I were a doctor and someone came to me to have a Pickle Rick tattoo removed I wouldn’t charge them. It would be inhumane for me to make them go on like that

im sorry the doctor made you pay for the removal but you dont need to subtweet him

All my followers do is own me on every post I make

Once you become a certain age, it is your responsibility to unlearn behaviors that hinder your growth as a person.

Man I cannot stress this enough. The “this is how I am, take it or leave it” attitude is an act of immaturity. We all have toxic traits that we need to work on and as an adult it’s our responsibility to recognize the damage that they can do to the ones we love. We all need to put in more effort in becoming better individuals.

i love when random tumblr users find my blog and go through it liking and reblogging everything in a frenzy, it feels like i’ve been cultivating a nice backyard with a lovely birdbath and feeder and i’ve glanced out the window to see a bird going absolutely wild with it

I love getting a hundred notes from one person, like, hello friend thank you for appreciating my collection, enjoy your stay

little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

i see a lot of people who reblog this like “i’m 17 and this is me“ but i need you to understand that i am 27 and the other night i couldn’t sleep because of back pain. you may feel old but i am old

just heard the most beautiful sentence at work

"a 'hogwart house'? what the hell is that?"

the warden is the video game protagonist of all time. like my blood is cursed. i can never go home. trauma and despair follow me around like a shadow. watch me save the world with all the enthusiasm of a walmart employee working on christmas eve

i love "davy jones' locker" as a euphemism for death and the mythological nautical grim reaper figure of davy jones because it's the most regular Just Some Guy name ever. like other sea monsters of legend all have intimidating, powerful sounding names like leviathan, hydra, scylla and charybdis, the kraken, cthulhu, etc., and then there's the literal concept of death himself, whose name makes him sound like someone's very spoiled housecat.