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vampire hunter? no i said vampire HAUNTER. this jerk sucked all my blood out so now i spend my afterlife knocking over shelves and scaring off potential victims and just making the castle generally pretty cold

it's always 'bleh why are the plates floating', 'gah who knocked over my blood goblet' and never 'sorry for killing you' ok starve then!

and what are you going to do about it? have a priest exorcise the place? yeah good luck with all the crosses and holy water you piece of shit

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

maybe i like pulling out my debit card instead of using apple pay. maybe i like untangling my wired headphones. maybe i like typing something into the search bar instead of using siri or whatever. maybe i like curating my own social media feeds over an algorithm. i just don’t think everything has to be perfectly streamlined and efficient i like it when things feel tethered to the real world.

Literally just romanticize your own life. What’s stopping you. Who will care. Commit to enjoying things. 

Stickin ur feet in a river is cleansing. You just roll up your pant legs and step into the stream. Bam. You’re a new man.

My job on the leftist commune will be to walk around all the bakeries with a .45 caliber handgun and choose which loaves of bread get turn into bagels by shooting the bagel hole through them.

ARGH!!!!! THAT'S NOT HOW BAGELS ARE MADE!

Damn for real?

I would have a really hard time not

This image physically tempted me