ace :)

optimus prime is very, very heavily armoured, moreso than any other bot, even gladiators like megatron. other bots are designed with their own quality of life in mind, having sparce or no armour around their torso and their joints so they can actually move around... optimus... does not have this, with the only real exeptions being the palms of his hands and his neck.

optimus is, more than anything- built to take a hit that would put down anyone else and brush it off without even a wince- this, of course: results in reduced mobility and speed. this is especially evident in his hands, and his posture. he has trouble holding small objects and doing small, detailed tasks, and he stands, sits and walks very stiffly and formally

he has enough mobility to hold and swing a weapon. it was decided thats all he needed.

he makes me. sofucking ill. first. the reason i associate the song with him the most;

these lyrics. these fucking. these lyrics. in refrence his emotions. his passion his love his hope.

(orion was his hope once.)

shockwave. senator shockwave. was so many things. but more than anything he was someone who wanted better. he wanted a better bench without a broken fucking leg in his garden he wanted a better senate he wanted a better world for his people.

and they took that from him. the senate looked at him looked at his hope and they took it. they took his face. (he had always been proud of his appearance. he would frequently change his paint and kibble. he liked looking pretty) and replaced it with a single eye, they took his hands, and gave him a gun and claws. for destruction- not the rebuilding he wanted for the world.

(blank open eues, one emotionless optic thag cant really 'close')

he was so many things and now all that is left is a holllow void where those things were and its like- do you think he knows. do you think he looks at cybertron. at optimus. recalls his memories and knows he should feel something?

he doesnt, though. doesnt feel anything anymore. knows he should. knows he wouldve. almost knows what it used to feel like the feeling in his chest the butterflies in his stomach but its all. gone.

he had it once. knows he should have it knows hes become something so far from what he once was knows that past him would hate the current him. knows he used to love.

he looks at those things. at the people he used to care about. at optimus. doesnt work, though. still empty still under the effects of that fucking surgery. still purple and one eyed and minus and arm and missing everything that once made him him

---

there are expectations, of a prime. of duty- servitude. protection, guidance. he imagines it ought to be stifling- orion pax would have thought it so. optimus wonders if he should find it so as well.

strength is not only his duty, but his birthright. his purpose. war- conflict. protection. battle. he was born into it. he will die amongst it, he assumes.

---

like this, lowered to the ground, hydraulics weakened, gear-locks disengaged- he can almost imagine himself a body the memories of which are abstract and unfamiliar. smaller- sweeter, perhaps.

orion pax was not one to kneel, either.

still, this is as close as he can get to his once self.

there is a ghost, at the edge of his processor, two, if he allows them. three, if he wishes. His beginnings, his eternity, and his enevitible end.

---

red morphs into orange into gold. end into eternity into beginning. into memories that belong not to him- but memories he clings to nontheless

soft optics and a aggrieved smile. optimus is a mech who was born haunted. A ghost of something someone he once knew once knew.

a hand, open and gentle, servos almost brushing against his cheek.

just oh so slightly to the left. a slight tilt of the helm is all it would take to shatter the illusion in front of him.

he refrains. permits himself imagine the hollow sound of metal tapping against metal. instead of silence, air brushing by his finials

---

'you look like him, like this. You know.'

'like orion.' (lies)

If he could reply. bring himself to online his voice module, respond to this haunting of his own mind- of orions spark. what would he say?

orion is dead. you killed him

'It was orions fault, though.'

'he got in the way.'

yeah.

---

knelt low, servos curled to his thighs,fans halted and processes slowed.

Like this, optimus could almost be mistaken for a statue. not particularly serene, but -

there is a tension to him. he arose to war. forged for battle. it is inate.

---

If it had been orion in his place-

---

blue optics stare at up him, bright and sweet.

optimus wants to hate him, hate him almost as much as he pities him.

one half of his beginning.

a spark that lays within his own. intertwined- smothered, protected, maybe. he wonders how much of him is orion. how much of orion was him.

slowly coaxing closed. he will smother what is left, eventually. it is not a relief.

---

he loved you. He wants to say it, wants to online his optics and his vocals and see this non-existent spectre that has been passed onto him by orion pax.

wants to shout at it this truth that he was born into. wants to profess the love of a mech that died for his birth for a mech that died for the same over and over again.

as if that truth couldve changed anything, couldve saved d-16 and orion pax. couldve stopped the spark that resides in his chest from curling and twisting into that of a prime. into himself.

---

back into orange into red.

"I love you I love you I love you I love you"

It beats in his chest like a drum

not only had orion left him his ghosts, he had left his love, and as orion died and so rose optimus, so did d-16 die, and so rose megaton.

was it so strange, then? that the love that orion pax held so dearly to his spark, died as well, and so rose for optimus prime, love. as well?

---

blue shutters into life. He turns his attention elsewhere. He remains a coward. does not want to view the nothing that he knows is there.

flashing lights warning for the above ! ^^

aa ok design rambles go!!

helmwise, i was really looking for a good balance between being recognizable as soundwave and being recognizable as something a human being would wear, yknow? like i absolutely couldve just taken his helm design, thrown it on a human body and said it was a helmet, but that felt a bit like cheating.

with tfp, i immeditately thought of fullface gas masks, and thats a theme that stuck even to some of the last iterations, even if it didnt make it to the final mask, which definitely doesnt look much like any human accessory ive ever seen, but it also doesnt look like tfp soundwaves helm on a human body, so i think i succeeded

for earthspark, it was a bit of a mix of a gas mask, initially, but quickly turned into a motorcycle helmet mixed with almost a bit of an aviator helmet?? i would imagine the little chunky bits on the cheeks to be a sort of comm system ^^, either way i am very happy with the result.

clothing wise, i wavered back and forth between the simplicity that i think he would prefer to wear, and my own personal prefrence for overcomplicated outfits that match his frame a bit better visually. i ended up going for the latter but chances are i will draw him in alt outfits later... i am however still interested in the concept of a sort of falconers,, sleeve? is that a thing? for the arm that lazerbeak would perch on

but as stated i am very very in love with the braid. proud of myself on that one

v1 was finished on 09/28/2024, v2 on 10/01/2024 and v3 on 10/15/2024!! its insane what just iterating on things and trying again can do, when it comes to doing something new