last call i made a new tumblr come join me message for link <3

ok now you can actually message me oops forgot hiatus theme ok cool

i made a new tumblr, so if you want to follow, message me for the link! also i'll be re-following a bunch of people from that one so if you see someone who looks like me, it is me and you can follow back if you want!

it was a lightbulb moment for me when i realized that not everyone loves or shows love in the same way. so i understand that the way i love is not universal, and the people around me don't all express their love for me in the same way, and it takes time to learn how different people say or show they love you. but i maintain that if someone loves you in a way that absolutely does not make you feel loved, if it makes you feel in any way bad, you do not have to feel guilty for not accepting that love and for not wanting them in your life.

YOU SAY LOVE IS A HELL YOU CANNOT BEAR AND I SAY GIVE ME MINE BACK AND THEN GO THERE FOR ALL I CARE

last night i was in bed and fighting against the nighttime thoughts, trying hard to make my mind go blank and repeating "it's not safe in here it's not safe in here" and then i dissociated, almost like i willed it to happen and i've never done that before, and my breathing evened out and the lump in my throat disintegrated and i fell asleep. i remember i used to be so scared of dissociating, like i was losing myself, but it's my way of protecting myself, it's how i take care of myself, it is my brain saying "hush baby go to sleep"