malfunction

honestly he wasn’t sure what to do now, so he tries his best to get the atmosphere back into a happy one by letting out a soft chuckle. “of course i havent.” he starts.

sitting up to prod at thomas’ sides. “let me copy yours, just this once please?”

“I worry about you”, he confessed, his eyes closed because he didn’t want to look at alec and know he would be judged by his worries. He knew alec all too well to also know that he would start misinterpreting his worry with something else and that was just one more reason for Thomas not to say anything.

Because there was nothing worse than being accused of something that wasn’t the truth.

Unfortunately, he also knew alec wouldn’t let that rest, not until he was feeling okay with everything. The two of them knew the other too well not to realize when it was time to move on or press on the subject.

“I’m not being jealous of you, first of all. I’m really worried really. And I feel like you have more fun with your other friends than you have with me. So that’s why you think I’m unhappy. Because I’m not as thrilled as getting myself killed like you or your friends.”

And then he realized how silly it probably looked, saying those things out loud, he did sound like a needy stupid friend and alec would probably judge him by saying that but now the cat was out of the bag and well, he would just have to deal with whatever was thrown at him.

“Ah! I mean… and you, of course.” Teddy flushes. Merlin, now he sounds rude and inconsiderate. “But… um, no offense, Tommy… I don’t think I’m gonna get your name tattooed on me…” Or anyone’s name, honestly. 

“Maybe… ah, Merlin. I really don’t know what I’d get.”

“well…” he started, humming his word, really, in an attempt to think more about what teddy was telling him and how he wanted to respond. “…aren’t all parents like that? Thinking they know a lot about their children when in the end we’re all going to be one big disappointment.

His voice wasn’t bitter nor was his thoughts because that was just the truth. Thomas knew his parents would never be proud of him, mostly because his essence, being picked as a Gryffindor cut short all and every chance he had. And, even though he sometimes felt guilty, the more he knew other people and their lives, the more he realized there was nothing wrong with him; they were the problem.

“I think my parents would be glad if I don’t show up for family reunions or stuff like that. I mean, I am the black sheep there, so as long as I don’t dirty the family’s name, even more, I can do whatever I want. I’m dead to them anyway” he’s bitter now and he shrugged that feeling with a brush of shoulder, his bumping into Teddy’s lightly when they sit closer on the small couch.

It’s good to be there and being able to open up to someone other than Alec because a nice, different perspective was always welcomed and Teddy offered him that, without judging him. Plus, it was always good to be able to look at him.

It wasn’t until he made the comment extremely personal that Thomas blushed, really hard, trying not to look at him and ignore the way his stomach dropped and his heart jumped, all because of a small confession, one that literally shook the Gryffindor. “H-hey…! I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinking about me!” he chuckled and wanted to hide his face but all he did was to get lost once again in Teddy’s stare.

“besides that is so cliché, Teddy…” he teased, a few moments later, his hand coming for Teddy’s, their fingers naturally lacing. “Do you have a word that you like? Or a motto? I can help you find something that suits you if you like and then we can go together to this place I know.”

“It’s the same, right? You… you gotta feel the same…” Unless he’s been reading every road sign wrong. 

Thomas certainly felt like floating or at least he did feel lighter than any previous moment, as him and Teddy shared a kiss, as firm as it was getting, his confidence increased as well, as he kept his hold on the slytherin student tighter, a sudden fear that moment might disappear if he woke up.

Because it did feel surreal that everything was happening, that he wasn’t hiding anymore, at least not when he was there with Teddy. He wasn’t innocent to believe that he was the best person in the world, but Thomas did feel better when he was around, he did make him feel more confident and useful because normally people would just want something in return from him.

So it was the start of something, yes, something that Thomas perhaps wouldn’t want to dare place official names or call it something everyone did, but so far it was as warm and addictive as Teddy’s lips tasted since the first time they kissed, it made Thomas heart beat faster and he was sure he could have a heart attack anytime.

However the way Teddy spoke, with little confidence and doubt when their kiss broke, instead of making Thomas breathless, just made him laugh, or at least gave him that will.

Because for a Gryffindor like him, it was almost irresistible not to make a joke out of that, a little tease as he stared at the other boy, an eyebrow raised. “Hm…I don’t know…how I feel, Teddy.” He started, a little unsure, heavily blushing.

The moments were supposed to be torture for both of them, but then Thomas realized a Gryffindor joke couldn’t be accepted by any other person as lightly as it should. He immediately regretted, just a couple of seconds after his words left his mouth, taking the boy’s hand and bringing it close to his lips.

his train of thought went off into a new direction as he tried remembering what leeches he was supposed to put into the potion, and his stirring became a little lack. he was just barely able cast a containment spell when he noticed it was bubbling it. a frown forming on the hufflepuffs face when he realized he had botched this one as well. “brilliant…” 

The smell was evident as soon as Thomas crossed the halls and followed the scent of burning potion to this particular classroom, one that was supposed to be empty at that time of the night.

Not many students had permission to be out there doing whatever and third upper years were granted that permission, though Thomas doubted someone would be there, since only a few of them were invested on missing a couple of hours of sleep to actually be practicing.

So to say he was definitely curious to know who was there behind that door was an understatement.

When he opened the door, without knocking, his first reaction was to cover his nose because of that smell and then to see the boy behind the smoke coming from the cauldron.

So, he asks, bold as he’s ever been, “Can I kiss you?” 

There is this obvious warmth surrounding them – him – whenever Teddy speaks and it makes Thomas smile, even if he doesn’t want to. It’s nothing he wants to fight against, instead he welcomes it, guards it in his heart and when the admission comes, it makes him more comfortable, bolder, daring even.

The feeling of belonging, of actually making things right.

If someone told him everything that happened would bring them to that very moment, Thomas would just brush them off, laugh and move on, because he had heard about Teddy with at least one person and even if he didn’t want to trust the stories, when it happened to him, everything seemed more real.

Still, his heart was pure, and he trusted people, he trusted Teddy.

The question comes with an obvious and silent answer and Thomas wanted to hide at first but then he was blushing before he can say anything, his hands are not shaking because he’s done that before, but they’re sweating and he’s glad he’s holding onto Teddy’s waist, his face closer to the Slytherin boy, too close to he can actually feel his breath against the raw and split skin of his lips.

“You should.” His reply is possibly even bolder than the question itself, and he doesn’t waste time because if he does, maybe he’ll have second thoughts, maybe that could only be a dream, so he closes the gap between them, brushing his lips against Teddy’s, so softly it’s like the world has stopped.

“It’s…” He starts, ready to brush it off as nothing, an old habit, but stops himself. Instead, he prompts the other to lean back, he wants to look him in the eye so he knows. He wants Thomas to know. 

“Than you. It’s… because of you. I’d never have been able to change for the better. I wouldn’t be here, in my own apartment, happy with myself, not a terrified mess anymore… without you. You know that, right?” 

Listening to Teddy’s words, it felt like some kind of alternative reality, one Thomas wasn’t scared of living, one he would actually welcome if it didn’t change after the days he spent with the Slytherin boy.

But at the same time, it made Thomas blush and immediately shake his head, a silent complaint about them, because in his head little did he do to help Teddy, he just wanted to help yes, but all efforts came genuinely because the boy decided to trust him, to accept that maybe there were things that couldn’t be changed but could be improved, that he wasn’t alone.

So, no, Thomas couldn’t take all the credit for that.

“I disagree…” his smile as sincere and evident in his words as he spoke them, his hands slowly making their way into drawing circles on Teddy’s waist over his shirt, as if that was just something he did all the time, with no restrictions. “It was all because you wanted to change. I just…opened the door for you. And held it open. But you entered, Teddy…and for that I’m proud of you. And I…”

“Of course, Tommy.I’ll hold you for however long you need. You’re safe now.” He says, whispers because even a soft spoken word seems too loud right now, and he’s so confident in his words because he has no other reason to be. 

It’s just the pair of them. Just Teddy and Thomas in his home. No one to bother or pick at them. 

It was funny how he never really thought he’d be sharing those moments with Teddy – actually, apart from Alec, there wasn’t really someone Thomas would spill about how awful the situation at home was ever since he was chosen to be in Gryffindor. And now he was there, allowing himself to open up another part of his life, to another boy, a slytherin boy; though that status didn’t matter for him, the irony of the situation still amused Thomas.

He sighed, eyes closed as his shoulders a visibly less tense, as soon as Teddy’s words hit his ears and his brain processes the information that the other boy is indeed hugging him back, that he’s safe and the apartment is just a rendezvous for them, a place apart from Hogwarts where they can find comfort.

And just like that he realizes how strong Teddy is, how much he improved from his past state, the one that came to Thomas for the first time asking for a potion, because that seemed to be the only thing that would help him out.

“Thank you”, his voice is a whisper when he speaks and even though it hurts, Thomas manages to crack a tiny smile, his head is still comfortably rested against the other’s shoulder. “I’m glad I have you here with me and I’m…I’m really proud of you Teddy”

And then came the awkwarnedd of the whole sitation. It was a split second deciosn to invite Thomas to stay and it was only now that he was actually thinking it through. Not that Teddy regretted it. No, he would never have the other thinking that, it lingere more alone the line sof…

“I hae… a guesst bedroom if you’d like, but it’s… full of boxes. I’ve not gotten a chance to fully unpack.” As he explain, he found it a little hard to look at Thomas. Sure, they wer close, but would he really be okay with… “So if you don’t mind… we could share… my bed? It’s… big.” 

Thomas didn’t want to sound hard when all teddy did was to show kindness to invite him over but he was still a little shaken after his latest meeting with a relative and even though he ran as fast as his wounded body allowed him, he didn’t want to take chances. “I ran. I think no one followed me. But…better be safe than sorry…” he found himself saying as he reached out his hand, touching Teddy’s wrist for a moment.

It was brief, just a brush of fingers against skin but enough to give him some kind of comfort, it came from someone he trusted, someone he was sure wasn’t going to hurt him or pity him.

His uncertain steps were slow, as Thomas dragged his feet through the room, trying to absorb the place around him. It was comfortable and cozy, it suited Teddy, he thought.

He looked back, finding the depth of Teddy’s eyes staring at him, waiting for his answers and Thomas wanted and had everything figured out in the smallest amount of time, but right now, right at that moment when everything was too raw, the only thing he needed was someone to care.

-> where dwell the brave at heart

“I always… hated it.” Teddy admits, glancing up at the other. “Tattoos had always seemed like a terrible thing because he had one. Granted, it was an awful tattoo. A damn pureblood tattoo, but does that really surprise you?” His parents, though not terribly thrilled with the whole concept of a tattoo, could at least approve of the subject matter. 

“I like yours though. It’s not so bad.” He’s seen some that haven’t put him off the idea quite as much as his brother’s. “Do you think I would look good with a tattoo?” 

A question for @crxthomas

if there was something thomas never counted on was to be in the infirmary because he made a mistake - a potions mistake of all things. but there he was, in the middle of a school crisis, with all those attacks, having to spend his days because of a stupid accident.

at least he had teddy by his side - and that thought still made the gryffindor blush, even if  it was against his will (he always blamed the heat for that) - the slytherin was quite a company, their relationship had developed since the valentine’s ball, even if they hardly spoke about it on a daily basis.

but the fact that thomas was just hidden in the healer’s room with teddy, both boys talking amenities - the topic was now teddy’s newest discovery on thomas’ body, his phoenix tattoo, seemed okay for the gryffindor student, that didn’t mind listening more about the other’s family. actually thomas never really cared about his own family opinion, especially on that matter.

“my parents don’t know about this.” he pointed to the design, fingers scraping the phoenix’ designed wings in white dye, almost translucent on his skin “it was an act of rebellion, i guess”, it didn’t matter how he had been tipsy the night he found the muggle tattoo parlor just after his father told him he was never going to be proud of thomas, no matter what he accomplished.

reborn from the ashes, the tattooist told him and thomas took that for his life.