CRY HAVOC! And let slip the Dogs of War.

my dear legend Algernon, just "Why?" is actually hilarious and i promise it will be used

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

I HC that Sidious put him in upper management specifically to make that hate flow. He looked at Jedi Anakin and thought to himself: what does this guy like? Jumping out of moving vehicles at 30,000 feet? Well, we won’t be doing *gestures at all of Anakin* that. Put this guy in an office.

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

does singing in the shower count as art

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

We have so little time

let's waste as much of it as we can while we still can

hotel transylvania parking job

love the genre of discourse that’s like “the world used to be [thing it never was] but now society is [I’m over thirty]”