A Guide for Abled People to Stop Being So Fucking Aggravating to Disabled People
1. sickness/disability does not have a “look”
2. stop assuming - stop assuming things about strangers, colleagues, coworkers, even friends. you never know the whole story i promise
3. unless you’re a very close friend, do not bring it up as casual conversation. nothing is more uncomfortable than being caught off guard having to talk about it.
4. ILLNESS IS NOT INSPIRING HOLY SHIT if i see another “she has ____ and works 60 hours a week!” article with a million “oh how inspiring <3″ comments, i’ll scream
5. if a disabled person says “i can’t do it,” they can’t. they’re not looking for encouragement
6. pls be more aware of the strong link between disability and mental illness. anecdote - i had no idea why i was so severely depressed for the first year of my illness, until an old friend told me “no that’s actually very common.” more likely than not, your disabled friend/coworker/student/whatever is struggling and they need some patience and understanding
7. yoga doesn’t always work
8. doctors only know how to put people in boxes and treat them accordingly. “just go to the doctor!” is about the dumbest thing you can ever say to a disabled person. i promise, they have. they’ve probably been to more doctors than you’ve seen in your life
9. DO. NOT. MAKE. COMMENTS. ABOUT. MOBILITY. AIDS.
10. you CAN offer your help in a polite, not-annoyed tone. if a disabled person asks you for help, if you can do it, please do it without complaint or jokes. i used to not be able to lift more than about 20 lbs without it putting me out of commission for the rest of the day - i don’t need shit about how pathetic that is
11. we already feel like huge fucking burdens on our family, friends, and society as a whole. we don’t need the guilt trip
12. if you see a disabled person and your first thought is “oh my god imagine what their parents/spouse/friends go through,” you’re gross and you need to rethink yourself
13. it is literally none of your business what they have, how they go about their life, etc. they do not owe you anything
14. “i hope you get better soon” followed by “wow you’re still sick?” many months later pls pls pls stop. unless you know something someone has is temporary, it’s more than likely chronic/permanent meaning IT DOES NOT GET BETTER
15. “why are you always tired?” it is so. exhausting. being sick and in pain all the time. it’s an unimaginable kind of tired. i can sleep 4 hours or 8 hours or 12 hours and i will still be exhausted
16. chronic illness/disability is literally nothing like the cold, or breaking your hand, or whatever you want to try to compare it to. the difference is that we don’t get better, doctors have no idea what to do with us, and gradually we have to accept it
17. idk just stop being a big fucking bag of dicks
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