hehe

thank you. you were amazing. is such a devastating goodbye in literally any circumstance. neil is a poet.

one thing about neil is that he's extremely calculated and genuinely does not give a fuck about 90% of people. and the 10% of people he Does care about he's still willing to manipulate and use for what he views as the best outcome (re: breaking a bone to heal it properly) and i think there's an instinct to downplay this so that neil can be the softer/less intense/emotional one to andrew's uncaring/intense/harsh demeanor bcus there's an obsession in our culture with opposites attract (re: heteronormativity) but it does their dynamic a huge disservice to ignore the Basis of andreil. which is the understanding they have of each other + their reasons + their reactions and how extremely similar they are.

sorry jean is a stronger man than me. if neil josten pulled up to my sickbed with his boy toy and his boy toy’s boy toy (my ex situationship) and told me how all 5 foot 2 of him tricked a mob boss into saving all of our lives i might kill my self in front of him just to prove a point